Is Three A Crowd? (23 page)

“I remember you wanting to bring home every stray animal you came across.” Nathan pushed his almost empty lunch plate to the side and leaned forward. “You couldn’t keep any of them, and started to volunteer at the shelter so you could spend time with the animals. I always knew when one was adopted. You’d be so relieved it was going to a good home, but you missed seeing them.”

“So my having a dog wasn’t a surprise to you.”

“No,” Blake interceded, “only that you only had one!” They all smiled, and she had a flash of the kennels and the feeling of dread that passed through her each time she had to lock the dogs and cats behind the fences.

“I think Shin is enough for now,” Maris answered quickly, not wanting the men to start bringing her home strays. She was having enough trouble reconciling her feelings for these men, let alone puppy training again. She stared out the restaurant window, watching the bustling sidewalk. Besides, accepting responsibility for another animal wasn’t smart right now. Her apartment only allowed one animal. What if she didn’t wind up staying with her men? Where would she go? Finances weren’t an issue, but she had to start thinking about her future. Together with her men only the past weeks, she knew she couldn’t judge their true personalities during that time. They’d all been on edge since she arrived, albeit for different reasons.

After this morning and the ease with which they fell into the sex acts, she understood why she’d been attracted to these men. Learning who they’d grown into in the years she’d been away was just as important as who they’d been. This made her start to consider who she’d been and who she wanted to become in this incarnation.

It seemed to Maris that she’d been a wild child in her youth and into her mid-twenties. Then she’d been a coddled woman who hadn’t had the ambition to look into her past and why she’d lost her memory. Surely, after the first years, she could have researched on her own, but she hadn’t. Now that she was finding bits of herself, she was angry she hadn’t had the ambition to look. It was so much easier to let her mother handle things, to just take each day and wait. Five years was a long time to wait when she could have helped herself.

Blake lightly touched her hand. “Where are you, Maris?” Shaken from her thoughts, she smiled, but knew it was weak. “What’s wrong?”

“Maris?” Nathan noted her silence, and his brow furrowed.

“I’m just accepting that I let it all go on for so long. That I let my mother take over and basically run my life. I did it because it was easy to be so dependent, not bothering with everyday things.”

“You had no way of knowing she was lying…I mean, that her truth wasn’t your old reality. In the beginning you were very fragile. We understood,” Nathan glanced to Blake, “that she needed to protect you. Everyone expected you to wake up one morning remembering your background and be really angry about the whole situation.” He sat back and the telltale sign of a smile crossed his lips.

“I do that every morning. I wake almost afraid to open my eyes for fear of what I’ll find out.”

“You had a lot of people lying to you for a long time.” Nathan cleared his throat, but Blake continued. “What, it’s the truth. We waited all these years, at least let’s all be honest.” Blake glanced at Maris, and she nodded for him to continue. “I’d think finding out your parentage and extended family aren’t what was represented for your entire life would jolt anyone. Being tossed over the Falls because of jealousy is hard to get past.”

“
Blake.
”

“No, Nathan let him talk. I’d rather he be blunt and honest than have more lies. Go on, I can handle all this. I’ve had five years of
resting
to fall back on.”

“Nobody thought it would be long-term.” Blake let out a sigh and reached for his coffee. “At first the doctors said it would take a few weeks for you to remember your past. That dragged on into months.”

“Frankly, your mother didn’t help. She wouldn’t allow you to see or talk to anyone. She returned our mail and flowers. We were turned away at every try. She didn’t want you to remember because it reflected badly on her.” Nathan turned away in disgust. “I’m sorry, blunt is difficult.”

“I know, Nat.” Maris reached a hand toward him, and he swallowed it up with his large one. Blake closed his grasp tighter over her other hand. “I’m learning a lot of things I don’t like. Things about me and my past. I can’t change any of them now. I can decide how I want my future to work out.” Maris paused, and as she looked to each man, a new image formed in her mind. She licked her lips at the idea of having them both snuggled beside her, their hands roaming her body. She shook off the image and smiled. “I’m learning I’m a lot stronger than I ever thought I was. I won’t let that slip away.” She squeezed each of their hands. “Besides, I have two wonderful men who seem anxious to spend time with me. I’d rather put our time to good use than ponder the past we can’t rectify.”

She pulled her hands from theirs and sat back in her seat. “I’d like you both to think about something, and I’m not looking for an answer now.”

“Go on,” Blake said, his sexy grin slipping to his lips.

“I’d like you each to think about what your perfect vision of us was, individually of course. I’m curious what each of you thought about us sexually all this time. What was the one recurring fantasy that always got you off?” Maris hesitated and frowned. “My language has changed dramatically since I’ve been up here. It flows out so naturally, but my vocabulary is so different.”

“Not different, just relaxed.” Blake glanced to Nathan and back to her. “You now know what happened on paper, and in your own way you’re processing the information and dealing with it. With that, you’re starting to relax. That’s allowing you to find yourself again. It may sound like a verbal slip, but to us, it’s the Maris we knew coming home to us.”

“Blake, I don’t ever remember you being so poetic. Then again, I only have snatches of our time.” Maris laughed and eased what might have been a difficult situation. “Nathan, do you mind my slang? Did I ever call you Nat, the way it just came out?”

He leaned forward, his lips close to her ear. “You used to call me Nat, and now you can call me just about anything as long as you call to me. Let’s get out of here and I’ll teach you a few new words.” He sat back with a satisfied smile, his eyes clear and bright.

“So my speech aside, I’d still like to know your image of the perfect fantasy. And you both have to accept that I will spend time with each of you alone.” Maris glanced from one man to the other. Neither seemed happy, but neither interrupted. “I’m not trying to ruin a lovely day, just make you realize how I see us going forward. I’ve lost too much time for my men to be jealous. You’ve spent five long years together, apparently begrudging your arrangements. Nevertheless, you have to remember you made them together, I had no input. I was the excuse, but the two of you bought a home and a business together and have run it successfully. Deep down you respect each other, and I need that to continue. So, if I’m with one of you or the other, no wondering what’s going on and how or where.”

“Not an image I prefer to dwell on,” Blake mused.

“Nor I, but we accept you will be personal with both of us at separate times.”

“That’s how this all started isn’t it, my being unable to choose between you back then? Nothing has changed, I still can’t choose between you. In the end if I have to, I’d walk away before hurting either of you.” She stared out the window, waiting for their response.

“Maris, we’ve come to terms with all this. Blake and I have accepted the only way to keep you happy was to accept we are a threesome. There’s never been anything conventional about our relationships, and I doubt there ever will. I don’t care about what the rest of the world thinks. I just want to enjoy our time, in our home and on our land.”

“Blake?”

“I’m with Nathan on this. Alone, neither of us could satisfy you back then, why would we think it should be different now?”

“You two seem all too accepting all of a sudden. A few weeks ago, you were sniping at each other and having assistants watching the other. What’s changed?”

“Everything. We’ve got our miracle. You’re home with us, and we’ll do whatever it takes to keep you here.” Nathan looked out the restaurant window, not at her.

“Speaking of home, should we head out? I’d like to get back to walk Shin in the gardens.”

“Is that an invitation or a plea for privacy?” Blake laughed and stood, tossing several bills on the table.

“Exercise,” she said and stood.

“I have one quick stop to make,” Nathan added.

Chapter Nineteen

At home, as she was referring to it, she and Shin wandered the gardens, staying in sight of the old Chateau. She’d been strangely pleased when Nathan’s last errand was to get small radios for them to use when they were away from the house. Cell phones rarely worked on the land and couldn’t be counted on. While the staff all used handheld radios, this setup would be to keep the three of them in contact. By tomorrow, they’d be fully charged, and then she’d start wandering the land, trying to remember working there. Maris thought it was very sweet for Nathan to think of it and hated that she’d second-guessed him in the store. Asserting her independence would come in other ways. He’d been right to remind her of how she got turned around and felt she wasn’t alone.

Wandering back toward the house in the late afternoon with Shin frolicking beside her, she paused to reflect on the changes in the last days. Even the dog seemed calmer, having the run of the place rather than four walks a day. She’d instinctively taken to the land, but Maris was having trouble connecting. She’d yet to remember her actual days there working the land. Instead, she only remembered glimpses of her sexcapades. Maris laughed. Never did she contemplate the possibility of a lover left behind, let alone two. The breeze blew her hair in her face, and she brushed it impatiently away.

“Maybe I need a makeover. What do you think, Shin?” Suddenly she felt lighter. Just the idea of a haircut made her happy, as if the change would strip away the dull existence she’d fallen into. “Tomorrow, I’m going to town and shop a bit.” Shin turned her head from side to side as if she could understand. Continuing their walk home, she wondered if her men would initiate sex tonight, or if she’d have to suggest it. And if she did, how did she want it?

* * * *

For days, life was quiet. She’d gone back to the greenhouse and rummaged through the files again. Finally, she packed all the pages back and asked Nathan to put them in his safe. The rain had kept them all indoors, and she was using the time to wander the Chateau, to get used to the old house again. While it was familiar, each room she walked into brought a memory to life. Some good, some bland, but she was remembering.

Remembering how easy life used to be. How simple it was to make love to one man in the afternoon and take another to her bed that night. It all seemed so harmless at the time. The sex had been incredible with each of them, and she was coming to understand their personalities.

Nathan was all business during the day. She noted how he hesitated to take time away in the evenings to check his e-mail or answer his business line. Blake was back spending time at his studio. While she’d been invited, she hadn’t visited him there yet.

She’d been keeping a wary distance from them both during the days, not wanting the other to think she was favoring one. Their evenings were amazing. She was stunned a few days ago when she realized they’d left the master suite untouched. The old monstrosity of a bed still anchored the room, along with the faded wallpaper. The drapes needed replacing, as did the linens. She’d been more surprised how they’d taken the bedrooms on either side of it and made private spaces for themselves, each with access to the master suite.

Nathan’s room was very masculine in dark brown tones. She’d been stunned to find an enlarged photograph of herself above his fireplace, finished in sepia tones. It was a candid Blake had taken years earlier. She never thought about any of Blake’s artwork hanging in their private spaces.

Blake’s room showed his artistic side, his bedroom in jewel tones of emerald and sapphire. What caught her eye was the painting over his hearth. It was her on canvas, naked with one hand dropped before her crotch, the tip of her index finger penetrating her pussy lips. Her other hand held her breast, her nipple full and puffy. There was a gleam in her eyes, a mischievousness she almost remembered. Maris remembered glimpses of the situation, but not sitting for this specific painting. She’d left quickly after seeing their rooms, her image in both startling and unsettling. She’d invaded these men’s lives and never knew it. Maris still found it hard to believe they’d waited all these years for her.
 

She was still sleeping in the old stone house, comfortable there. Maris knew the Chateau was waiting for her, but she hadn’t made the move yet. They’d joked about her waiting for it to be renovated, but she hadn’t made any decisions about what to do with it, even though in her mind she visualized the perfect patterns and colors.