Irreplaceable (16 page)

“Don’t say that,” I all but pleaded under my breath.

“What do you want me to say, then? What can I do?”

The liquor was fueling my actions—at least, that was how
I justified what I said next, because it was as shocking to me as it was to
him.

I held his gaze in mine and murmured, “Show me.”

Chapter Fifteen

Reality Crashes

The kiss he bestowed upon my lips
was anything but forgettable, soft yet demanding. His hands reached behind me
and lifted me up into his arms, and I didn’t fight him.

I went with it, my body needing to feel the connection,
if only once. I never stopped kissing him, my tongue exploring the hidden
caverns of his warm mouth laced with the taste of liquor and mint. Even as I
felt him walking, carrying me away, I never broke the contact.

The steps he took were up metal stairs. When he stopped
at the top, he released one hand and dug it into his pocket, but I only held
him tighter around the neck, not wanting to break the moment. My brain switched
back off happily, going with what felt right.

A door creaked open and he carried me farther, my hands
fisting his dark hair. Uncontrollable, my hips began grinding against his
strong abs, ready for what I knew would be a night to remember—even if it meant
spending the rest of my life trying to forget it.

This wasn’t love. Love shouldn’t be this hard…this
painful.

Blissfully lost in the lust consuming me, I wasn’t
prepared for the drop that landed me on an unfamiliar bed in a dark room. My
skin tingled, blood pounding in my ears, urging me to continue what I’d
started.

“Where are we?” I breathed, releasing my lips from his
and sitting up beside him. He stood at the end of the bed, regarding me with a
focused eye.

Why did I have to speak? Why did I care where we were? I
needed more of him. I sat up on my knees and ran my fingers over his open fly
that he’d never re-buttoned.

“Alone.” His voice was delicious and raspy, eyes glowing
in the darkness. He caught my hand and brought it to his lips, kissing the pad
of my thumb and working his way to each finger until he reached my pinky.

I looked around, unsure of my next move, doubt beginning
to creep in when Logan released my hand and sat beside me on the bed. He caught
my face, caressing my cheeks, successful at regaining my full attention.

“I promise we’re alone. I own the building and we rent
out these rooms …well, all but this one.”

“Okay,” I replied dumbly. My hand lifted to his jaw,
fingers tracing his lower lip, eyes searching his. With nothing but want, I
swung my leg over his lap, straddling him.

“Kiss me, damn it.”

And he did, ruthlessly. His hands gripped my hips,
bringing me as close to him as possible, but it didn’t last. The moment I slid
my hands over the swells of his chest, he hesitated. His hands loosened,
stroking my jean-covered thighs at a deliberately slow pace.

I sat back just enough to trail my hands down his strong
arms, tracing the ripples of his muscles with my finger, then dipped my head
down to place a wet kiss on the side of his neck. A relaxed, pleased moan
greeted me, building my confidence and urging me on.

“We should get some sleep,” he said out of the blue,
placing a tender kiss to the tip of my nose. He lifted me up, sat me back on
the bed, and stood up, walking across the room and flicking a switch by the
door.

My hand went up over my squinting eyes, struggling to
adjust to the cruel light glowing from the lamp on the nightstand directly to
my left.

What the hell was he doing? Where was the action, the
passion? The I’ve-got-to-have-you-now in the heat of the moment?

Instead, his hands were digging in his pockets as he
stood in front of a tall dresser. He pulled out his cell phone, keys, and
wallet, setting them on top of it.

This was definitely not how I thought things were going
to be. Not that I’d planned this or even had a shred of conscience while he
carried me to some hole in the wall, but now, sitting there watching him take
his time across the room, the moment was officially gone.

Or was it?
Logan pulled off his shirt and unzipped
his trousers, sliding them down and off his body. Body-hugging black boxer
briefs clung to his solid legs. I swallowed, staring at the package they contained
until I felt a prickle flare over my skin.

Slowly, I glanced up to find him watching me, staring at
him until his mouth turned up in a crooked grin. My head turned to the side
with an eye roll. This wasn’t how I expected things to go.

Actually, I hadn’t expected anything. I hadn’t been
thinking—only acting—but now I couldn’t stop chastising myself for being so
damn weak. I wanted it to be quick and to the point—have him like the girls in
the bar had. Not like this. Not with him staring at me, searching me for a sign
I couldn’t give.

“I don’t mind you watching, sweetheart.”

Why am I still here?

Logan was gorgeous and in an unbelievable
I’ll-probably-never-see-a-man-like-him-again way, but still, my thoughts were
no longer lost in the fog of passion. My brain was full steam ahead, telling me
to ignore the tingling arousal pooling in my stomach and run—run fast, and run
far.

“I’ve got to go.” I pushed off the bed, failing to
collect my thoughts and ease my screaming libido that was begging me to stay.

Logan was behind me the moment I reached the door, my
clammy hand gripping the knob.

His fingertips caressed the sensitive skin on the back of
my neck and trailed down my spine as he slipped my coat down my arms and spoke
in a rough whisper. “I didn’t bring you up here for sex, Cassandra. You want me
to show you? Then I will.”

Slowly, he turned me around. His arms stretched out and
rested on the door behind me, blocking me in. “I want you to see me, know me,
and forget the past.”

I let my head fall forward against the door and closed my
eyes. “You should go home, Logan. It’s your birthday. You should be with your
family. I should be anywhere but here.”

I wasn’t even sure what I was saying. I just opened my
mouth, and the words fell out in my desperate attempt to get away before his
tenderness penetrated the piece of my heart he’d cracked open and had only just
begun repairing.

“You can’t drive, and neither can I.”

“What?” My eyes flew open, and I whipped around to meet
his soft gaze. “Yes, I can,” I defended, nearly breathless at his bare rippled
chest pressed against me.

“Besides the fact that you had shots downstairs, you’re
flustered. I won’t let you drive yourself home tonight, and I’ve had more than
the legal limit. So you might as well stay with me.”

Stay with him?
Not now. Not after he gave me time
to think and said all the right things, splitting a crack down the side of the
stone fortress surrounding my battered heart. No, I needed to get out of there.

With a deep breath in and back out, my eyes closed for a
moment while I collected myself. Then I was back—strong. Chin up, shoulders
straight.

“Believe me when I tell you, Logan, that your birthday
will be a lot more fun if I leave.” I ducked under his arm, putting distance
between us.

He remained unaffected, turning with an easy smile, as if
I’d said nothing but sweet sentiments. “My birthday is nearly over, and I never
got my wish.”

He looked so beautiful staring at me with such
tenderness. Why had I kissed him? Why did the thought of him walking away,
disappearing from my life, send such a panic tearing through me, propelling me
straight into his arms?

“Well, nobody said it had to come true the same day.” My
voice shook at the thoughtful look crossing his face. What was wrong with me?
Why did he have to look so vulnerable?

He stepped closer, eyes pleading. “Don’t leave. Please.”

My eyes fluttered shut, a ragged breath slipping out as
his words danced over me. This was so hard. So unbearable.

“Logan, I—”

His hand flipped the light switch back off, casting us
once again in darkness lit only by the bright moon shining off the snow outside
and filtering in.

“My wish was to hold you for one night. No sex, I swear,
just you sleeping safely in my arms. Please, let me show you what you need to
see…how good it can be.”

The man needed to stop with the pleases. They washed over
me, taking my breath and leaving me with nothing more than an open heart and
nodding head.

I followed his lead when he took my hand, guiding me back
to the bed. Peeling back the covers with the sweetest smile, he asked me with
the gentlest voice, “Would you like to undress?”

Snapped out of my trance did not even come close to how I
felt. It was as though someone woke me from my dreams of heaven with a douse of
ice water.

“What?” I snapped, outraged.
Undress? I thought he
said no sex.

His head tilted to the side. “You need to work on that
trust in me. I simply meant your jeans might not be the most comfortable.”

I glanced over to his trousers across the room on a chair
and blanched. Could I really sleep beside a half-naked Logan while I was half
naked myself?

No. No I couldn’t.

“Jeans are staying on,” I answered.

What was I saying? How did this happen? How did he talk
me into spending the night with him? I’d kissed him, wanted him. It was hot and
could’ve led to sex, but he ruined that when he switched on the damn light—and
my moral self-worth.

“Logan, I’m sorry, but I can’t do this,” I whispered,
trying to keep the calmness in the room.

“Take off your jeans and lie down. Your shirt is long enough
to cover you.”

I stepped back from the bed. I needed to run before it
was too late.

Logan was there in an instant. “Trust me, just once. We
were friends once, Cassandra. Please just give it back until morning.”

Moving to the farthest corner of the room, I turned
around and unbuttoned my pants. My oversized shirt hid my ass as I slid free
from my jeans, a confident smile growing on my face. I wasn’t going to be the
only one uncomfortable in that bed.

When I turned back around, I was faced with an observing
Logan. He didn’t even try to hide the fact that he’d been caught.

I rolled my eyes, sauntered quickly across the room, and
climbed into the bed, pulling the blanket to my chin.

“I’m only staying because I did have a drink tonight, but
this doesn’t mean we’re friends again.”

Logan let out a real laugh that lightened my worry. “Of
course, but just so I can keep up, what are we, sweetheart?”

I thought it over for a moment as he slid into bed beside
me, his legs brushing over mine.

Should’ve kept the jeans on.

“Neighbors,” I answered finally. Tonight wasn’t going to
change that. I couldn’t let it.

“That’s all?”

I looked over at him, his head flat on the soft down
pillow. “For the record, you’ve come a long way from the bastard I wanted to
stab in the eye when he carried me to the bathroom that day in the hospital.”

“I can imagine.” He chuckled louder.

The charge in the air between us dispersed the longer we
lay there, me staring at the ceiling, him staring at me.

The image of Logan stripped down to his briefs filled my
thoughts. His chest was a hard wall of rippling muscles. His arms were
tantalizingly strong, and built to do more than work behind a desk. Lying
beside him, it was hard not to appreciate the care he put into his body.

I needed a distraction.

Glancing around the room, I got more than that. We were
above Haven—I was positive of that, since he’d carried me up stairs and the
music from the bar filtered in through the vents with the heat. I remembered
hearing there used to be a couple apartments up here, but this was just a room
with a door that looked like it led to a bathroom. What the hell was this
place?

“So you rent these rooms? Not, like…by the hour?” I asked
with a cocked brow.

“It’s not my business how long they rent as long as they
pay up. It was Caleb’s idea to turn the crumbling apartments into a few rooms
when he renovated. Figured it could bring in some extra revenue from customers
who had too much to drink below, or simply leasing them out like any other
hotel, since the only other place to stay in town is so rundown it should be
condemned.”

He was talking with ease until he caught the expression
on my conflicted face.

“To clarify, this room has never been occupied by anyone
other than me. I use it as a place to stay on long nights I don’t want to go
home to an empty house when Oliver is visiting in the city. ”

I stiffened, looking away.
Is this his…sex den?

Lifting my head, I looked to the window and noticed the
balcony that stared right back at me. Julia’s words from the day she opened up
about Logan’s past ran through my head.  She’d said he was caught on a balcony
with a woman.

How had I not noticed it before then? I could stay there
any longer.

“Oh God.” I cringed as I sat up, wide-eyed at the
realization.

Logan’s arm came down over my waist, locking me down,
then his body rolled, leaning over me. His eyes searched mine as he hovered
above me, both arms stretched out on either side of me, caging me in.

“No,” he stated firmly.

No?
He must’ve seen my confusion, because he
continued.

“Calm those gears in that hectic head of yours,
sweetheart. I’ve never brought anyone in here before. I, myself, have only slept
here twice.”

I sucked in a deep breath as my eyes wandered down to his
bare chest. The man definitely knew how to take care of his body, and it was
suddenly getting a little warm in the room.

“The balcony…your sister once said…” I let my words hang,
swallowing to find my voice.

“That wasn’t here, or even in this building, I swear.
I’ve only used this place to rest.”

Relief was heavy in my body, and a soft smile turned up
the corner of his lips.

“A little faith in me from time to time would be appreciated.
Is that a possibility?”

I shrugged my shoulders into the pillow under my head,
and in doing so my elbows moved out, knocking into his arms. His muscles bulged
as he lowered himself down as if doing a push up, his breath mixing with mine.