Innocence (14 page)

It wasn’t quite how Lisa had pictured their first kiss, with her mind still reeling from Nathaniel’s shocking revelations. When their mouths met, she put her concerns aside, determined to enjoy the moment. His lips were surprisingly soft as they brushed against hers. Their noses bumped, and he angled his head slightly, aligning their mouths so they fit together. She shared his breath, his scent flooding her senses, and when his eyes closed, though she wanted to continue looking at him, hers soon followed. The absence of sight heightened her other senses, and Lisa whimpered, overcome by the onslaught of touch and taste and smell as his mouth moved against hers. Far too soon for her liking, Nathaniel ended the kiss.

“You’re so lovely,” he whispered. “I can’t believe I resisted this long.”
 

The second kiss was deeper, his lips moving insistently, first from one angle and then another. Hesitantly, she mimicked his movements, and he pulled her more tightly against him. Almost of their own accord, her arms rose to wind around his neck, her fingers threading through the soft curls at the nape of his neck. His hands began an exploration of her body, one coming tantalisingly close to her breast, and she stiffened.

“It’s all right,” he murmured against her mouth. “I won’t take it too far. I just need to touch you.”

Lisa made no protest when he laid her along the wide leather bench seat. Half covering her with his body, one of his thighs came to rest between her legs, her skirts tangling around them. Something hard pressed against her hip, and she worried his pistol had slipped around to the front of his trousers.

“My lord?” She shook her head. “I mean, Nathaniel?”
 

“It’s all right, Lisa. I’m not going to take you here, not that I don’t want to.”
 

Take her where? They were already on the way to Worthington Hall, and with his weight pressing her into the plush leather, she could barely move. Lowering his head once more, he kissed the side of neck, sucking gently on a sensitive place just below her ear—a place she’d not known existed before this moment. It felt lovely, shockingly so, but when one of his hands cupped her breast, she broke the kiss.

“Nathaniel, you mustn’t,” she whispered.
 

“Why ever not?”
 

“Because it’s not done. Well clearly, it
is
done, this kissing and touching, because we’re doing it. But it’s not
supposed
to be done.”
 

Nathaniel chuckled. “Not by respectable young ladies entertaining gentleman callers, but believe me, this is exactly the sort of thing men do with their mistresses.”

Lisa considered his words. A young lady was warned never to allow a gentleman to kiss her or take liberties with her person, a phrase she was finally beginning to understand, but the rules didn’t apply to her anymore
.
Apparently.

“If you’re sure.”
 

With her desire for Nathaniel overruling her conscience, she allowed him to continue what he was doing, her hands making a hesitant exploration of the muscular planes of his back. His hands skimmed her curves while his kisses deepened until Lisa was lost in a hazy, sensual world of newly discovered pleasures. She whimpered when he broke the kiss and sat up, drawing her into the circle of his arms. Slumping against him, she felt boneless, breathless, and quite undone.

“I told you I’d take good care of you.” He sighed. “So as much as I’m looking forward to having you in a carriage one day, I’ll show some restraint and leave that for another occasion. Our first time—your
very
first, I suspect—should be a tad more auspicious than a quick coupling while fully clothed, don’t you think?”

Lisa stared up at him dazedly. “
Have
me?”
 

“You want to know how I plan to have you?”
 

She nodded, hoping to finally get some answers.
 

“I’ve imagined having you every way conceivable, Lisa.” He let his head fall back against the leather seat. “In my bed, of course. I’ve barely slept this last month for wanting you.”

Wanting me to do what?
she wondered, but remained silent.

“On the desk in my study.”

Lisa’s brow furrowed as she imagined his large, paper-strewn desk.
 

“I’ll clear it off,” he said, his clarification leaving her none the wiser.
 

“Up against the wall,” he continued. “On the floor in front of the fire. Sitting on the couch. The possibilities are endless.”

She opened her mouth before shutting it again, not knowing what to say. Should she be afraid? Nathaniel had promised he was going to take good care of her. If he was speaking of more kisses, she couldn’t pretend to disinterest.

“You’re not worried are you?” He turned to face her.
 

“Should I be?”
 

“Not in the least.” He smiled and kissed the top of her hair. “But that had better be all for now, or my good intentions will come to naught.”

Chapter 12

Reservations

Lisa had a great deal to think about, but overwhelmed by the days many and varied revelations, the movement of the carriage soon lulled her to sleep. When she woke, she was cradled in Nathaniel’s lap, her head nestled against his shoulder.
 

“Oh dear. I’m dreadfully sorry.” She sat up, embarrassed by her position.

“Don’t be.” He stroked her back, encouraging her to relax against him. “I moved you so you would be more comfortable.”
 

That inexplicable hardness dug into her hip, and she wriggled, curious.

“Hold still.” He groaned.

“But I’m too heavy for you.”
 

Nathaniel’s body shook with silent laughter. “Hardly. Just don’t move for a minute.”

Lisa froze, and he took a few deep breaths before lifting her from his lap, following behind as she exited the carriage. When she moved in the direction of the servants’ entrance, he surprised her by tucking her hand through his arm and leading her towards the main entrance.

“I can’t go in this way,” she whispered urgently.

“Yes you can. You’re with me now.”
 

While Nathaniel appeared unfazed to be walking in the front entrance of his father’s ducal manor with a servant on his arm, Lisa was mortified. Mr Henson met them at the door, bowing to Nathaniel and admirably hiding any reaction he might feel at seeing a maid on his master’s arm.

“We’ll be in the green drawing room.” Nathaniel informed the butler, as he ushered Lisa across the vast cathedral-like foyer. “Send for Mrs Donaldson. I’ve a matter I wish to discuss.”

“Yes, my lord.” Henson turned to address a couple of waiting footmen, relaying instructions. One of them gave Lisa a speculative look, but a pointed glance from Nathaniel sent him hurrying on his way. They reached the empty drawing room, and he ushered her inside, his hand in the middle of her back.

“Things are going to change for you, Lisa, for the
better
,” he said after she had taken a seat. “But I don’t want to overwhelm you.”

It’s a bit late for that,
she thought before asking, “How
exactly
are things going to change?”

“To begin with, you no longer need to work. I want you happy, not exhausted.”

Lisa had assumed as much, but now they were back at Worthington, doubts assailed her. She could certainly do with a break from the long hours, but the thought of days spent idle and alone held no appeal. It wasn’t as if she could mix with the residents of the Hall. Nathaniel might speak about gentlemen and their mistresses in a cavalier fashion, but the presence of a commoner, as she was perceived, would not be tolerated. Then there was the risk of one of Lord Copeland’s friends mentioning her, and him putting two and two together. She would have to wrangle
another
promise from Nathaniel, that he keep her existence in his life a secret from his peers as well as his father if she had any hope of staying safe.

“How will I spend my time?” she asked.

“When I am busy, you can read, sketch, learn to paint if you so desire, although they are all solitary pursuits.” Nathaniel stroked his chin. “Lisa, do you
enjoy
your work in the kitchen?”
 

“Yes, I do.” Surprising herself with the confidence of her reply, she imagined it would be even more enjoyable if she wasn’t so tired all the time.

“Then I have a solution. As well as indulging in whatever relaxing hobbies you so desire, you may continue to pursue your interest in baking . . . as long as you’re available to spend time with me in the evenings and when I can arrange time during the day, of course.”

“Of course.” Lisa stifled a smile at his autocratic tone. “But how long before we shall leave here?”
 

“Long before my father returns,” he assured her, squeezing her hand. “I plan on checking in at Marsden Park to see how the renovations are going before heading up to Town for parliament. My vote is needed if we’re ever to see the abolishment of slavery.”

He had mentioned Lord Wilberforce in the carriage. The famed abolitionist had retired due to ill health, but his supporters continued to fight to see slavery abolished across the Empire and not just on home soil.

“You’ve had a difficult day, so tonight, I want you to get some sleep,” Nathaniel continued. “I’ll be busy tomorrow making reparations to the guests I abandoned in my haste to get to the village and catching up on some work for my father. It will be tomorrow evening before we can be
together
, I’m afraid.”
 

Together.
 

“I shall look forward to it.” Lisa smiled cautiously, still uncertain what it entailed.

“So shall I.”
 

He caressed her cheek, and she thought he might kiss her again, an activity in which she was more than willing to engage. But then Mr Henson entered the room with Mrs Donaldson, effectively breaking the mood and reminding Lisa of her precarious position in the household.

Without preamble, Nathaniel informed Mrs Donaldson he would like Lisa moved to the suite adjoining his. The housekeeper’s eyebrows disappeared beneath her curled fringe, and she stared at Lisa, mouth agape.
 

“Is there a problem?” he asked.

“No, my lord.”
 

“Very good.” He nodded before turning to address Lisa. “Go collect your things, and Mrs Donaldson will escort you to your new rooms. Tomorrow, you can select some books from the library to read, or you might like to explore the gardens.”

Lisa frowned, glancing at the bag still slung over her shoulder that held her hard-won truffles. “Actually, I have a chef to placate tomorrow. I’ll be busy in the kitchen all afternoon if you’re to enjoy the special meal you requested.”

Nathaniel’s eyebrows rose, and she held her breath, wondering how he would take her lack of compliance. A moment passed, and then he smiled.
 

“I look forward to that also. Just make sure to get some rest.”

“Yes, my lord.” Lisa’s curtsy swept a little lower than that of a typical maid, causing his smile to widen. It was only when she had departed, Mrs Donaldson at her side, that she rued her impudence. While the housekeeper never said a word, disapproval emanated from her in waves.

The attic room was deserted, her friends not having yet retired for the night, giving Lisa the opportunity to retrieve her mother’s necklace unseen. Removing it from its velvet bag, she stared at the linked strands of perfectly matched pearls and considered what she had learned about their value. At least now she knew why Lord Copeland had been so determined to gain her hand in marriage. It wasn’t her modest dowry he had been after but her mother’s necklace, though she wondered how he had learned of its existence. Her parents had led a quiet life in the country, only entertaining amongst their local society.
 

Lisa wished her father had just given the pearls to Lord Copeland. As much as they were a treasured connection to her mother, they weren’t worth her father’s life. Sighing at the thought of what
might
have been, she tucked the precious jewels away in their pouch before hiding them in the bottom of her bag.
 

After walking in silence to the family wing of the great home, Mrs Donaldson led her past Nathaniel’s study. The housekeeper opened a door a little further along the corridor, and Lisa followed her into a well-appointed sitting room, decorated in blues and creams but with a decidedly feminine feel.

“This is the bedroom.” She gestured into a large room that opened off the sitting room, dominated by a four-poster bed. “Through here is the bathing room. It’s been modernised with the indoor plumbing His Grace is so fond of, and through here is the dressing room. There’s a small sleeping room for a lady’s maid off the dressing room.” The housekeeper sniffed. “Though I don’t suppose that will be needed.”
 

Lisa hugged her bag close to her chest. With one battered dress to care for, a lady’s maid would have little to do.

“Yes, well,” Mrs Donaldson continued when she did not respond. “I’m assuming you know
why
you’re here?”