Inglourious Basterds (12 page)

WICKI and MATA HARI

both ON THEIR FEET, FIRING WILDLY at each other. MATA HARI is HIT THREE TIMES. WICKI is HIT ONCE.

SGT. POLA NEGRI

comes off the floor with a SUBMACHINE GUN and SPRAYS the whole other side of the room, WIPING OUT WICKI, ERIC, MATA HARI,
and THE BARMAID.

The SHOOTING STOPS… THE SMOKE caused by the gunfire… starts to DISSIPATE… The only one in the room left alive is the young
German sergeant with the machine gun.

WE HEAR the feet of the soldiers outside reach the basement entrance.

The door opens…

The German sergeant sends FIFTY BULLETS in the door’s direction…

No one goes through it.

What we have here is a rabbit-hole-like situation. No one inside is getting out. No one outside is getting in.

The young German sergeant YELLS in ENGLISH to the outside:

You outside! Who are you? British, American, what?

Aldo’s voice YELLS down the hole:

We’re Americans! What are you?

I’m a German, you idiot!

You speak English pretty good for a German!

I agree! So let’s talk!

Okay, talk!

I’m a father! My baby was born today in Frankfurt! Five hours ago! His name is Max! We were in here drinking and celebrating!
They’re the ones that came in shooting and killing! It’s not my fault!

Okay, okay, it wasn’t your fault! What’s your name, soldier?

Wilhelm!

That’s the same name as one of the guys you just killed!

They attacked us!

Okay, Wilhelm… is anybody alive on our side?

No!

We hear a VOICE OFFSCREEN yell out:

I’m alive!

Wilhelm spins in the direction of the voice.

On the floor, with a bullet in her BLOODY LEG, lies the still-alive Bridget von Hammersmark.

The German sergeant points the muzzle of the machine gun at the German celebrity, with hate in his eyes.

Who’s that?

(to BRIDGET, low)

Make a sound, whore, and I spit!

Meaning the muzzle.

Wilhelm, who is that?

Is the girl on your side?

Pause.

Which girl?

Who do you think—von Hammersmark!

Yeah, she’s ours!

(to Bridget, LOW, in GERMAN)

I thought so. So you run with the Americans now, huh? Now times are bad?

Is she okay?

(to Bridget, LOW, in GERMAN)

You despicable traitor.

(to Aldo)

She’s been shot, but she’s alive.

(to Bridget, LOW, in GERMAN)

For now.

We hear the Basterds curse their luck offscreen.

Okay, Wilhelm, what’d ya say we make a deal?

What’s your name?

Aldo. Wilhelm, can I call ya Willi?

Yes.

So, Willi, you know we could lob three or four or five or six grenades down there and your little war story ends here. But
good fer you, bad fer her. You die, she dies. So what say we make a swap?

Keep talking!

Okay, Willi, here’s my deal! You let me and one of my men come down to take the girl away! And we take the girl and leave!
That simple, Willi! You go your way, we go ours! And little Max gets to grow up playing catch with his daddy! So what ‘ya
say, Willi, we got a deal?

Willi thinks…

Bridget watches Willi think…

Aldo?

I’m here, Willi!

I want to trust you… But how can I?

What choice ya got?

I could kill the girl!

Well, now, Willi, that’s true enough. But something you need to know, so you don’t get the wrong idea. Ain’t none of us give
a fuck ‘bout that girl. But, admittedly, if you kill her, it would fuck up our plans. But you’ll be dead by then anyway, so
what’d you care? And let’s not forget that little Katzenjammer Max, growin’ up without a pop. So in the spirit of gettin’
you home to him, we got a deal, Willi?

Okay, Aldo. I’m going to trust you! Come down, no guns!

Aldo and Hirschberg come down the stairs, showing open hands.

Willi keeps his machine gun trained on them.

Aldo, with his hands up, says:

Hey, Willi, what’s with the machine gun? I thought we had a deal.

We do have a deal. Now get the girl and go.

Not so fast, Willi. We only have a deal, we trust each other. A Mexican standoff ain’t trust.

You need guns on me for it to be a Mexican standoff.

You got guns on us, you decide to shoot, we’re dead. Up top, they got grenades, they drop ’em down here, you’re dead. That’s
a Mexican standoff, and that wasn’t the deal.

Just take that fuckin’ traitor and go! See? Now you’re down here— Now you get tricky—!

—No tricks!—Ain’t nobody gittin’ tricky, Willi! I swear to god, I’m too damn dumb to get tricky. But

(meaning Hirschberg)

him and I lived up to the deal. We came down without guns. Now it’s your turn. No trust, no deal.

Willi pointing the gun at them… thinking…

I know you’re scared. I’m scared, he’s scared, we’re all scared. So what’s it gonna be, Willi? Either we got a deal or you
might as well just shoot us now.

Willi decides…

He puts the machine gun down on the bar.

Fine. Take that fucking traitor and get her out of my sight.

Danke, Willi, danke. Okay, Hirschberg, you grab her shoulder—

WHEN…

From behind Aldo and Hirschberg, Bridget lifts up Major Hellstrom’s WALTER and EMPTIES the remaining bullets into Sgt. Willi,
who FALLS to the floor, DEAD.

Aldo and Hirschberg spin around, shocked.

From the floor, the bloody, sweaty, and in excruciating pain (she’ll probably lose that leg} German movie star says to the
two American soldiers she’s just meeting for the first time:

He was an enemy soldier who knew who I was. He couldn’t live.

INT—FRENCH HOUSE IN COUNTRY (BEDROOM)—NIGHT

An OLD MAN lies asleep under the covers of his blankets, in his bed, in his bedroom…

WHEN…

… . OFF SCREEN the sound of a DOOR BEING KICKED OPEN…… . . The SOUND of what sounds like EIGHT DOGS BARKING… and the sound
of FEET RUNNING TOWARD US…

his bedroom door is THROWN OPEN, and Sgt. Donowitz RUSHES IN, grabbing the old man in his bed and putting a .45 automatic
to his head.

(ENGLISH)

Doctor? Doctor?

(FRENCH)

What? What’s happening?

Donny SLAMS the .45 hard against the old man’s head, shocking, scaring, and bringing the old gent to attention.

(ENGLISH)

Doctor? Are you a fucking doctor?

He nods his head, yes.

Andiamo…

Donny YANKS/DRAGS the old man out of bed, in his almost comical nightshirt (which makes him cuter, thus the brutality against
him hurts more) toward the door…

INT—DOCTOR’S EXAMINING ROOM—NIGHT

… Into a doctor’s examining room built into a French country house, with an examining table and medical instruments.

However, it’s obviously the medical examining room of a veterinarian.

Along the walls are different cages with eight BARKING dogs in them.

The soldiers are putting the shot-in-the-leg, bleeding, and in excruciating pain Bridget on the examining table.

Donny, still holding onto the Old Man, points in the girl’s direction…

(ENGLISH)

She’s been shot. Shot. Bang, bang…

(pointing at his leg)

… in leg… understand?

(FRENCH)

No, no, no, I don’t speak English.

Donny jams the barrel of his .45 into the thigh of the old man.

(ENGLISH)

BANG, BANG—in the leg, understand!

The old man nods his head, yes.

(FRENCH)

But I’m a veterinarian… animals… I take care of animals…

Bridget screams from the table…

(ENGLISH)

He’s a fucking veterinarian, you imbecile!

He’s still a doctor. If he can get a bullet out of a cow, he can get a bullet outta you.

Right now, we just need morphine.

Donny yells at the old man:

Morphine! We need morphine!

The old man tries to explain in French that he’s not a human doctor…

Donny takes the .45 and SHOOTS one of the DOGS in the cages.

Everybody jumps.

Donny SCREAMS at the old man:

MORPHINE!

BANG

He SHOOTS another dog…

MORPHINE!

The old man begs him to stop and goes to get the morphine.

CUT TO

The BODY of Gestapo Major DIETER HELLSTROM dead on the floor.

INT—LA LOUISIANE—NIGHT

We’re back in the basement tavern. Col. Hans Landa stands over the corpse. He moves over to the next corpse, and a smile breaks
out on his face.

He says in GERMAN SUBTITLED IN ENGLISH:

Ahhh, Hugo, you’ve moved up in the world, I see. Lieutenant. And with your record of insubordination.

Truly remarkable.

A Nazi soldier named HERRMAN joins the S.S. officer.

And that one’s…

(pointing at Wicki)

… name is Wilhelm Wicki. He’s an Austrian-born Jew who immigrated to the United States when things began turning sour for
the Israelites. They are the two German-born members of the Basterds. They’ve been known to don German uniforms to ambush
squads.

FLASH ON

three Nazi soldiers walking toward a company of other German soldiers. The three soldiers’ back are to us. Dried, bloody bullet
holes cover the backs of the three uniforms.

The SERGEANT of the German company yells to the trio:

What brings you all the way out here?

The TRIO NOW DOWN the GERMAN COMPANY with their machine guns.

BACK TO LANDA

But that doesn’t look like this. This is odd.

Looking down he sees something…

Bending down, he examines Fräulein von Hammersmark’s two pretty dress shoes lying on the floor.

One shoe is covered in blood.

The other, while blood-speckled, is fairly clean.

Picking up the clean shoe and holding it in his hand.

It would appear somebody’s missing. Somebody fashionable.

AN OFFSCREEN SOLDIER’S VOICE cries out:

Colonel, this one’s still alive!

We follow Hans to the spot on the floor where Sgt. Willi lies. He’s shot in the chest, but it looks like Max’s daddy is still
alive.

INT—EXAMINING ROOM—NIGHT

Bridget on the examining table, post morphine shot.

The other Basterds in the room watch Aldo interrogate the German lady.

Now ’fore we yank that slug outta ya, you need to answer a few questions.

Few questions about what?

About I got three men dead back there, and why don’t you try tellin’ us what the fuck happened?

The British officer blew his German act, and a Gestapo major saw it.

’Fore we get into who shot John, Why did you invite my men to a rendezvous in a basement with a bunch of Nazis?

I can see, since you didn’t see what happened inside, the Nazis being there must look odd.

Yeah, we gotta word for that kinda odd in English. It’s called suspicious.

Don’t let your imagination get the better of you, Lieutenant. You met the sergeant, Willi. He had a baby tonight. His commanding
officer gave him and his friends the night off to celebrate. The Germans being there was just a tragic coincidence.

Aldo thinks for a moment…

Okay, I’ll buy that. He was either there with his men waiting for us, or he was there celebrating his son’s birthday. He wasn’t
doin’ both.

How did the shootin’ start?

The English man gave himself away.

How did he do that?

He ordered three glasses.

She holds up three fingers, middle to pinky.

He ordered three glasses.

She holds up three fingers, thumb to middle.

This is the German three. The other is odd. Germans would and did notice it.

Okay, let’s pretend there were no Germans, and everything went exactly the way it was supposed to. What would of been the
next step?

Tuxedoes. To get them into the premiere wearing military uniforms, with all the military there, would have been suicide. But
going as members of the German film industry, they wear tuxedoes and blend in with everybody else. I arranged a tailor to
fit three tuxedoes tonight.