Infinite Ties (All That Remains #3) (24 page)

Lexi’s brow furrows. “He’s not here.”

“He didn’t stay here last night?”

Her eyes widen and she shakes her head.
“Emma asked him to walk her home last night, then he was heading back to you.” What?
There’s no way he would’ve stayed at Emma’s. “Maybe he passed out there?” she
suggests weakly.

“He better have slept in the barn or
something, or I’m going to kick his ass.”

Lexi slips her boots on and grabs her
coat. “Let’s go find him.”

Emma’s small two bedroom house sits well
back from the road. Everyone tried to discourage her from living alone when
Gary didn’t return, but she insisted. I start to worry when I see her front
door is slightly ajar. My fear is reflected in Lexi’s face as we realize
something could really be wrong. What if they were attacked by someone? He’s
been gone all night. Lexi pushes the door open and we step inside.

It should make a noise. My whole world
shatters, crumbles into pieces. There should be some sound other than the
humming growing in my ears. No. Not Joseph. Not after everything we went
through to be together. “No.” That whispered word is all I’m capable of.

Emma is sprawled across the far end of the
couch, completely naked. A satisfied smile spreads across her face when she
sees us standing there in shock. Joseph is slumped at the other end of the
couch, shirtless, his pants and boxers around his knees. I’m frozen in place,
staring at him when he opens his eyes.

“Ladybug?” he murmurs, glancing around,
confused. His soft voice pierces my chest, and I nearly buckle from pain.

Lexi’s hand is soft in mine when she pulls
me from the room, back outside. I can hear Joseph call my name, but it’s a
faraway echo. I should’ve seen this coming. I knew better. Nothing is infinite.
Whether it crumbles or explodes, detonates or dissolves, in the end we lose
everything.

I finally find my voice. “He’s fucking
Emma.”

Lexi leads me toward home. “I’m so sorry,
Ab. I never would’ve expected that from Joseph.”

“That bitch has always wanted him, but he
swore he wasn’t interested.” My laugh is hollow. “Not interested in the five
pound blond with huge tits. How stupid am I?”

“Stop it! You aren’t stupid. Men are
fucking assholes. This isn’t on you.”

“We were going to be married.” A deep ache
begins in the pit of my stomach and spreads to my chest.

“I know.”

“What am I going to tell Airen?” I can’t
think. He’s going to be so pissed.

“The truth. Emma will if you don’t. Tell
him now, hun. You need him.” She follows me into my living room.

“I need to tell him alone, Lex. I’ll radio
you later, okay?” I’m trying so hard to keep my composure while the sight of
their naked bodies haunts me.

She pulls me into a hug. “I’ll be back.
Talk to Airen. I love you, girl.”

“Love you, Lex. I’ll be fine.”

She nods, doubtful, but leaves me alone. When
I walk in the bedroom, Airen takes one look at me and the grin falls from his
face. “What’s wrong? Is Joseph okay?”

“He’s fine,” I mumble.

“Abby, you’re shaking. Tell me what
happened.” I’m pulled down beside him on the loveseat.

“First I need you to promise me something.
No matter what happens between me and Joseph, you won’t leave him.”

“What? Abby, what the hell’s going on?” he
demands, grabbing my shoulders and turning me to face him.

I can’t look at him. “Tell me you won’t
leave him just because he and I break up. You need each other.”

“Abby, I’m not promising shit. Tell me
what he did.”

“He cheated on me…on us,” I add, realizing
I wasn’t the only one betrayed. My forehead falls to his chest. “He’s fucking
Emma.”

His hand threads through my hair,
caressing my scalp. “Sweetheart, whatever she told you is bullshit. She’s
trying to start shit. Joseph wouldn’t do that.”

“I saw them.”

His eyes are hard when he sits back and
stares at me. “What?”

“Lexi and I went to Emma’s when I couldn’t
find him. They were naked on the couch.”

“Fuck. That motherfucker,” he growls,
pulling me back against his chest. The bang of the front door is followed by
Joseph’s panicked voice calling my name. Airen grabs him the second he comes
through the bedroom door.

“What the fuck? You son of a bitch!” The
house shudders as Airen slams Joseph into the wall, his hand fisted in his
shirt. “Did you fuck her?”

“I’m sorry,” Joseph sobs.

“You’re sorry? You’re fucking sorry? Do
you have any idea what you’ve done to her?” he screams, shaking him.

I grab Airen’s waist. “Stop, don’t hurt
him.” Airen steps back, putting his hands on his head, trying to gain control.

Joseph raises his bloodshot eyes to meet
mine. His voice is thick with shame and regret. “I’m so sorry. I was shitfaced.
I don’t even remember it.”

“Then maybe you didn’t,” I interrupt,
clinging to a small hope. Maybe he couldn’t get it up. Maybe Emma stripped him
after he passed out so he’d think he fucked her.

A slow shake of his head demolishes my
hope. “There was…evidence.”

“Stop!” Childishly, I clamp my hands over
my ears. Evidence. Fluids. On him, her, or both? I’m tortured by flashes of her
riding him, her huge tits bouncing, his mouth open in ecstasy. Then he’s on top
of her, kissing her, fucking her, making her come.

Airen grabs me as an involuntary cry
escapes my throat. The cry of a wounded animal. “Shh, sweetheart, I got you.” A
moment in his arms helps me regain my equilibrium. When I step away from him,
Joseph hasn’t moved an inch and the pain in his eyes sends a spike of sympathy
through me, despite the agony I feel. It’s quickly replaced by anger when he
reaches for me.

“Get away from me.” My voice is cold. I
have to keep my composure, resist the urge to dissolve into a puddle of
self-pity.

“Ladybug…please, I’m so sorry. I never
want to hurt you.”

“But her tits were in your face and
there’s only so much a man can take, right? I get it. Gary’s gone. There’s room
in her bed.”

“No, I don’t want…”

“You and Airen can work out your sharing
schedule, but if you bring that bitch back here, I’ll fucking end her.”

“I don’t want her!”

“Fucking her is a strange way of showing
it.”

“I love you.”

“Get out!” My chest aches with the force
of my scream.

“Abigail!” Airen’s sharp voice breaks
through my hysteria. “I know you’re pissed and hurting, but we have to talk
about this. There’s Walker to think about.”

Nodding, I try to pull my shit together.
Logical. I need to be logical, not emotional. “You’re right.” It takes
everything I have to keep my voice steady. I turn to Joseph, keeping my eyes on
his chest while I speak. “I told you from the beginning, you don’t have to be
with me to be with Airen, and I meant it. This is your home, but I need a
couple days to deal with this without you here. Either I can leave or you can.
It’s your choice.”

“Baby, please. I’m sorry. I love you.
It’ll never happen again.” He winces when I jerk away from his hand as he
reaches for me again. I can’t talk to him anymore. It’s tearing me apart.

“Air.” I turn to him before I leave the
room. “Don’t let this come between you. You don’t have to lose him too.”

Joseph’s face crumples as my words sink
in. We’ve lost each other. “Please, baby. Don’t hate me. I can’t take it,” he
whispers.

My eyes drink him in as if it’s the last
time I’ll see him. Dull, despair filled eyes beg me to forgive him. His mussed
blond curls are wild and floppy, and all I can think is she must’ve run her
hands through them. I meet his gaze as I reply, “I wish I hated you. It’d be
easier.”

At least the kids are at Julie’s today, I
think, closing myself in Lane’s room and curling up in his little bed. I meant
what I said. If Joseph doesn’t leave, I will. I can’t think with him here.
Every time he smiles, I’ll see his lips on her. I don’t know how long I lie
there. Time is irrelevant in hell. When the door creaks open, I expect Airen,
but it’s Lexi’s sympathetic face peering at me. “Hey, girl.”

“Lex,” I reply, dragging myself upright.

“Joseph’s staying with us for a few days.
How are you doing?” She slides her arm around my shoulder, sitting beside me.

“Pissed off, mostly. I don’t know if I’m
naïve or just stupid.”

“Neither, Joseph never showed her any attention
before. Ab, he’s really upset. Says he doesn’t remember how it happened.”

“You believe him?”

“I do. I’m not taking his side,” she says,
holding her palms up. “There’s no excuse, but I wanted you to know he’s a
mess.”

“Good.”

Her laughter makes me smile for the first
time all day. “I’m going to beat the fuck out of Emma, you know that, right?”

The corners of her mouth crease as she
suppresses a grin. “Yeah, about that. I sort of beat you to it.”

“What?”

“Well, the bitch was bragging about it! So
I may have blacked her eye and shoved her a little.”

“I love you, Lex,” I say with a giggle.
“Did she run or cry or what? I need details.”

Lexi gets to her feet, her face animated.
“She fell and her chest hit the table. That’s when shit got weird. Did you know
her tits are fake?”

“No! Really?”

“Well, her tit is fake. When she hit the
edge of the table her right one sort of…popped.” Lexi giggles at my slack jawed
gaze.

“You’re fucking with me!”

“I’m not. One is now about three sizes
larger than the other. Julie says since it was only saline, it’s not harmful.
She’ll be fine, disproportionate, but fine.”

“Ain’t karma a bitch?” I cry, laughing
until tears roll down my face. “Oh, I wish I’d seen her face! Lexi! I owe you
big.”

Airen steps into the room with a grin. “I
take it you told her about lopsided Barbie.” Laughter takes over again and Lexi
and I cling to each other, rocking back and forth. I’ve never needed to laugh
so bad in my life.

“I’m gonna go,” she says, wiping her eyes.
“Keep your radio charged, and call if you wanna talk, you hear?”

“I will. Thanks, Lex.”

“You’ll get through this. Give it a few
days, then talk to him. He fucked up royally, Ab, but he loves you.”

“Keep an eye on him.”

“You know it.” She leaves me feeling a
little more lighthearted.

“Come on, darlin’,” Airen implores. “You
haven’t eaten all day. It’s nearly dinnertime.”

“I’m not hungry. Did you work things out
with Joseph?” I ask, following him to the kitchen where I watch him put
together two ham sandwiches.

He cocks an eyebrow at me. “He cheated on
me, too, you know.”

“I know. I just thought…since it was a
woman maybe you wouldn’t be as hurt or jealous.” If Joseph had cheated with Nic
or Troy, I know it wouldn’t hurt like this.

“I’m not, not the way you are, but I’m
pissed.” He slides the sandwich over to me and takes a bite of his before
continuing. “Do you think I could watch him hurt you and go about our
relationship like nothing happened? He promised me he’d never hurt you.”

“That’s a hard promise to keep sometimes,
Air. I don’t want you guys to lose each other because of me.”

“First, it wouldn’t be because of you.
It’d be because he couldn’t keep his dick in his pants. Second, I never said I
wouldn’t forgive him. It won’t be overnight, but we’ll work it out eventually.”
A stern expression settles on his face when he looks at my untouched food.
“Eat, Abby. You’re not making yourself sick over this.” After I take a
reluctant bite, chewing food that tastes more like cardboard, he takes my hand.
“You two will find a way through this, sweetheart. Don’t give up hope.”

“No. Drunk or not, he fucked her for a
reason. If he was happy…satisfied with me, it wouldn’t have happened. It’ll
happen again.”

“That’s bullshit. He loves you.”

“I know, but sometimes it’s not enough.”

He stands and slips his arms around my
neck, nuzzling my nape, and I close my eyes, soaking in the affection. “I hate
this. You’re hurting and I can’t fix it.”

“Just hold me. Give me a few days to
figure out how to let someone go when they’re still here. Still family.”

“He left you a letter.”

“Did you read it?” I ask with a small
smile as he hands over the envelope.

His chuckle makes me smile. “No, but it
killed me.”

I don’t want to read it, but I have to.
Nothing good ever comes in a letter. Airen watches while I tear open the envelope,
and my chest constricts when Joseph’s silver engagement ring falls into my
palm.

I have to wipe my eyes before I can read
his hastily written words.

My girl,