Infinite (Strange and Beautiful, Book 1) (52 page)

Mark
nodded, and, despite Dad’s car being parked in the garage and more easily
accessed from the doorway through the utility room, we followed my parents out
the front door. It made sense, though, when I saw Dad eyeing Jackson’s Camaro
under the glow of the streetlight.

“I
think my dad has a crush on your car,” I confessed to Jackson as he held the
driver’s seat forward, so I could climb into the backseat. Tegan was getting
into the back through the passenger’s side. I’d offered to let Mark sit up
front, knowing it would be too cramped in the backseat for his long legs.

“What?”
Jackson laughed at my comment.

I
waved him off, assuring him I’d explain later.

The
drive was pretty quiet as Jackson followed behind Dad’s Volvo to the country
club. Tegan and I made a few comments, but for the most part we all seemed to
be at a loss for words. I hoped Dad hadn’t scared Mark and Jackson or made them
feel too uncomfortable with his guarded looks. I knew from personal experience
he had a way of being intimidating without saying a word.

At
the country club, things didn’t improve much at first. Once we were seated at
our reserved table, everyone was pretty quiet. Mom and Dad greeted and chatted
with a few people, but it wasn’t until Mark asked Jackson about his car that
things really picked up. Tegan and I didn’t understand most of what they were
talking about. One look at Mom, and I could tell she was just as clueless.

Dad,
on the other hand, just listened at first, but I could tell that Jackson’s
knowledge of cars was even more impressive hearing it from him. Finally, Dad
insinuated himself into the conversation. Both Jackson and Mark were reserved
at first, but once Dad loosened up a bit, they did too.

The
more I heard about spark plugs and engines the more numb my brain began to
feel.

“How
soon can we eat?” I asked Mom, hoping that the appearance of food would turn
conversation to something new and unrelated to cars.

“Soon,”
she said, glancing around, her brows drawing together. “I hope, anyway,” she
added in a hushed tone, eyeing Dad, Jackson and Mark.

It
was a funny sort of relief to find that I wasn’t the only one who didn’t want
to hear about cars all evening. Tegan and I talked absently, only half
listening to the guys’ conversation, and Mom asked a few school related
questions, but finally, mercifully, the food arrived.

Dinner
was painful. The lively chat about cars had tapered off, and conversation was
forced and unnatural yet again. Even I didn’t know what to say, and,
considering I was often prone to speaking without thinking first, that was
saying something.

The
food wasn’t that great either. The chicken was dry and the vegetables were limp
and overcooked. Tegan and I shared a look, and I could tell she wasn’t
impressed either. I kept thinking even Mom probably could have done better, but
I was able to bite my tongue to keep from saying so out loud.

Dad,
Jackson and Mark ate up all of their food. I mostly pushed mine around the
plate, trying to make it look like I’d eaten more than I had. Mark noticed and
asked, “Aren’t you going to eat that?”

I
shook my head and offered him my plate. He took the piece of chicken and tucked
in as if he hadn’t eaten in days. I noticed Mom watching him worriedly, but
when she caught me looking, she turned her attention back to her own food.

When
the wait staff came around to collect the plates, though, she asked for a
couple of boxes and put her nearly untouched piece of chicken inside and Tegan
offered hers as well. I suspected before he left for the evening, that box
would be in Mark’s possession, and Mom’s kindness warmed my heart.

Once
the wait staff had cleared all of the tables, everyone disbursed to mingle.
There was supposed to be a live band in the ballroom to sing us into the New
Year, but I didn’t hold out hope that they would be playing any kind of music
I’d want to hear.

“Why
don’t we give Jackson and Mark the grand tour?” Tegan suggested.

While
I didn’t think there was much to see, Mark and Jackson seemed game, probably
wanting to get away from all of the stuffy adults, so I agreed. At the very
least, it would be a good way to kill time.

Since
they’d already seen the entry hall and the dining room, we stopped by the
ballroom briefly. The entertainment wasn’t so bad after all. There was a woman
crooning a Billie Holiday tune, but we didn’t linger because most everyone had
migrated into the room.

I
showed them the indoor pool and tennis court. There were a couple of sitting
rooms and a bar lounge, where we weren’t allowed inside, but it was plain to
see that plenty of the gentlemen had made a beeline for the bar after dinner.

I
saved my favorite room for last: the solarium. When I was forced to dress up
nicely and come along with my parents, this was the room where I usually found
myself. During the day, I’d read as the sun shone through the round glass
ceiling, and at night I’d stare up into the dark sky. It was perfect for
stargazing, and I could spend hours doing just that when I was there.

“This
is the best room in the place,” I said as I walked over to the lounge chairs
and started pulling one off the stack.

“Here,
let me get that,” Jackson offered, noting my struggle to get a good hold on the
large chair.

He
was by my side in only a couple of strides. He lifted the chair easily from the
top and sat it down before taking another off the stack. I scooted the first chair
over several feet, making room for the others, as Mark and Tegan came to
collect the chairs Jackson had already taken down. Once there were four chairs,
we arranged ourselves with Mark at the end with Tegan beside him while I was
situated between Tegan and Jackson.

“This
place is pretty cool,” Mark admitted somewhat reluctantly.

“Yeah,”
Jackson agreed, “it’s relaxing.”

“It’s
breathtaking,” Tegan murmured.

I
glanced at Tegan, realizing her eyes were on the night sky above, and smiled,
silently agreeing.

“Really
breathtaking,” Jackson whispered.

I
turned my head to the other side, expecting to find him staring at the sky as
well, but, instead, his eyes were on me. My stomach fluttered and my face
flushed as he winked at me before turning to look up into the sky.

After
a prolonged silence, Tegan asked, “How was everyone’s Christmas?”

Jackson
launched into a story about Jordan trying to spike the eggnog on Christmas Eve
and spending of all of Christmas Day trying to embarrass him in front of me.
Tegan’s Christmas had been fairly tame but enjoyable, bad traffic aside, and
Mark merely grunted that his was okay. I suspected “okay” was probably
sugarcoating it, but I didn’t want to press. Instead, I told them about
surviving the cinnamon scented circle of hell.

We
talked a little about gifts, and everyone got a good laugh out of what I
thought of as my “Weasley sweater.” As we all started to loosen up,
conversation flowed more easily and naturally. There was an occasional silence,
but instead of feeling awkward and stifled, it was comfortable.

As
I gazed up at the stars, I felt so blessed to be there with my friends. As much
as I loved Tegan, it was nice to have a wider circle of people in my life.
Tegan would always be my number one. Best friends like her were hard to find,
and I never wanted to lose that, but the additions of Mark and Jackson in my
life were a welcome change.

I
couldn’t think of three people I’d rather be with as one year ended and opened
into another. It just felt so right, and while the evening hadn’t been
particularly perfect, it had still been a good one.

Watching
the stars, twinkling above and going on and on into infinity, I thought I
understood how Charlie felt in
The Perks of Being A Wallflower
when he
talked about feeling infinite in a particular scene in the book.

I’d
heard people complain that “infinite” wasn’t a feeling, but I couldn’t think of
a better way to describe the full happiness that seemed embedded in every cell
of my body. It was a fullness that I was sure, even years from now when I was
old and gray with grandchildren, I would never forget.

The
simplicity of the moment only seemed to add to the sweetness. I closed my eyes,
trying to
visually
cement it in my memory. The feeling was imprinted in
my mind, and I wanted the mental picture to go along with it.  

Jackson’s
voice drew me out of my reverie. “You aren’t falling asleep on us, are you?”

Opening
my eyes, I turned to him and smiled. “No, just enjoying the moment.”

He
grinned back and reached over to take my hand. He twined his fingers with mine
and squeezed, staring into my eyes for a moment, before he turned his attention
back to the stars. I watched him for another moment, committing the beauty of
Jackson in the moonlight to memory, before I did the same.

Oblivious
to the moment Jackson and I had just shared, Tegan asked, “Do any of you have
New Year’s resolutions?”

I
didn’t mind the interruption, though. I turned to Tegan. “You know I never keep
mine.”

“So?
It doesn’t stop you from making them,” she pointed out.

“Fair
enough,” I conceded. “What’s yours?”

“The
usual,” she shrugged. “To not be such a lazy bum and help around the house
more. To make honor roll and to grow my hair out long enough to donate it to
Locks of Love.”

“Such
a good-doer,” Mark scoffed.

“Yeah,
and?” she smirked, turning to him. “Is that a problem?”

Mark
held up his big hands and shrugged.

“What’s
your resolution?” Tegan demanded of him.

“Hell,
I don’t know,” he sighed. “Quit smoking, maybe. But I’ve been saying that for
years, so I’m not sure it counts.”

“It
counts,” I assured him. After all, most of my resolutions were repeats from
previous years as well. I thought maybe I should make a bucket list of things
I’d like to do, but I wasn’t sure I’d ever actually follow through on making
the list or doing the items on it.

“Try
using NicoDerm CQ,” Jackson suggested. “That’s what I’m using.”

I
turned back to Jackson. “How’s that going, by the way?”

“So
far, so good but what’s left of my fingernails may not agree.”

“Your
fingernails will grow back.”

“And
my lungs won’t,” he said. I was shocked to realize he’d finished my unspoken
thought.

Tegan
leaned forward a bit to see around me as she spoke to Jackson. “If you’ve
already quit smoking, what’s your resolution?”

Jackson
shrugged. “Stop procrastinating and keep my grades up, I guess.”

“Me
too about the grades,” I commented.

“Is
that all for you, Sil?” Tegan sounded mildly surprised.

“For
now,” I nodded. “Keeping my grades up is a big enough challenge since Miss
Barkley has it out for me.”

“That
bitch has it out for everyone,” Mark snorted.

“Yeah,
but I bet she didn’t hear your ignorant brother call her inflammatory names,” I
pointed out.

Of
course Mark wanted to know. “What did he call her?”

“A
dyke,” I admitted. I felt bad even repeating the word aloud. “Which is stupid
because whether or not she’s a lesbian has no bearing on her teaching or
grading attitude, I’m sure.”

“True,”
Mark conceded, which was somewhat surprising. Living in a more rural area, it
sometimes felt like most everyone was ass backwards when it came to race or
sexuality. “But, if I had a brother, he’d probably say something far worse
about Miss Barkley to her face.”

We
were all quiet as I considered that, but when Jackson tugged at our still
intertwined hands, I rolled my head to the side to find him grinning. “Yes?” I
whispered.

“Let’s
go for a walk,” he suggested. “Just you and I.”

That
sounded nice, so I nodded in agreement.

As
we stood, I told Mark and Tegan we’d be back in a few minutes. Tegan looked
somewhat unsure as she glanced between Mark and me, but as Jackson tugged my
hand and led me toward the door, Mark whistled and turned to Tegan and
whispered something about “scoring” that had Tegan laughing as Jackson and I
left the room.

My
face flamed at the implications, but if Jackson had heard, he didn’t let it
show.

Once
we were partway down the hallway, Jackson finally spoke. “How did you ever
manage to become friends with Mark Moses?” He sounded both amused and
mystified.

“I’m
still trying to figure that out,” I confessed with a shrug. “But he’s really
not so bad once you get to know him.”

“I’m
starting to see that,” Jackson admitted.

“I
don’t know for sure,” I said thoughtfully, “but I think things at home probably
have a lot to do with the way he is at school.”

Jackson
considered that as we walked along the winding hallways. “You’re probably
right,” he finally said. “He was in my fifth grade class, and his dad showed up
to the Christmas play drunk. They had to escort him out.”

“Oh,
God,” I gasped, “how awful.”

Jackson
nodded wordlessly as we continued walking. When we reached the set of stairs
that led into the pool area, Jackson pulled me over to sit on the steps. It was
quiet for a few beats before Jackson said, “I’m glad you invited me to come
tonight.”

“I’m
glad you came.”

“I
don’t think your dad likes me much, though,” Jackson muttered, studying our
linked fingers.

I
made a disgusted sound. “That’s kind of Skylar’s fault.”

“How’s
that?” Jackson looked like he was already considering how he was supposed to
take out his revenge without harming a girl.

“Tuesday
at my grandparents’ house, she announced in front of most of my family that I
had a boyfriend,” I blushed. I watched Jackson out of the corner of my eye, but
he didn’t react in any noticeable way to the title, so I pressed on.