Infinite Love (3 page)

‘And it wasn’t Milo that attacked me?’

‘No.’

‘Who took me, Gabe?’ I asked quietly, convinced that now I already knew the answer.

‘It was Adam,’ he uttered, with a complete look of contempt on his face.

‘O my
God
.’ My worst fears were confirmed, it was him. ‘Adam was the one that choked me and … Gabe, I feel sick.’

‘He’s been arrested and charged with the rape and murder of those six women and for your abduction and attempted rape and for the mur … O God Mia, if I’d not had Milo under investigation ….’ He broke off again and looked at me with such pain in his eyes.

‘So
he’s
the Campus Killer?’

‘It looks that way, yes.’

‘
Not
Milo?’

‘No.’

‘O, thank God.’ I nodded my head, relief flooding through me that my friend hadn’t tried to hurt me. I hadn’t been completely wrong about him, he just cared about me and was too drunk and too vocal in expressing his new found feelings for me. He’d never have tried to hurt me, he tried to stop me going outside alone because he was genuinely concerned for my safety. All along I’d thought the danger was in the house with him, yet that would have been the safest place to be. It had been Adam all along, it must have been him when I felt someone watching me these last few weeks. It was his silver car I’d seen outside of Milo’s house, he must have followed me from the gym. He must have been hiding by the hedge outside Milo’s front door and seen an opportunity to grab me as Milo went back in for my coat. ‘O God Gabe, what will happen with Adam? What if they let him out and he comes to try and get me again?’

‘He won’t, Mia. I promise you he’s not getting out, trust me on that. I hope he gets life fucking imprisonment. I wish they still had the bloody death penalty here for people like him,’ he snapped. I reached out and took his hands.

‘Gabe I’m ok, I’m going to be ok. Please don’t let him get to you.’

‘Too late, Mia! He took you, he tried to take you from me baby, when I got that answer message from Mason … I thought I’d lost you.’ He took another pained sob and quickly wiped his eyes again. ‘I know now that it was Adam who tried to run me over. You said it from the start, you said it was him and that you got a bad vibe from him and I didn’t believe you. He’s
married
Mia, married with a kid. I mean, what the hell’s wrong with him?’

‘He has a child?’ I uttered and Gabe nodded. It was bad enough to wonder how his wife was going to feel when she found out that she’d been living with a psychotic serial killer, but that poor kid? It didn’t bear thinking about.

‘When the police went to his house to carry out a search, they found a locked basement. His wife said it was just for junk, she hadn’t been down there since they moved in, but it wasn’t for junk. They said it was like a shrine. It was full of pictures of girls, loads of young girls your age with blue eyes and brown hair.’

‘Were there pictures of me?’

‘Yes,’ he said quietly. ‘More of you than anyone, he had a board just for you. Some taken in and outside Peppers, on Campus, even outside our fucking apartment building. Also Dad’s house and you running in the park.’

‘O God, Gabe,’ I whispered as I covered my mouth with my hands. He could have taken me anytime he wanted and I might not have been so lucky.

‘He obviously has some serious psychological problems, which I’m sure that the Police will get to the bottom of, in time. They’re going to need a full statement from you when you feel up to it.’ He reached up and smoothed my hair with his hand and I gave him a half-smile and a nod.

‘He must have followed me to Milo’s from Uni, I had a feeling I was being watched. I don’t understand though, I was grabbed from behind, right outside Milo’s open front door that’s why I thought it was him. I really thought it was Milo holding me, Gabe. Does he know I’m ok? He must be so worried. I left my coat and phone and everything in his house.’

‘O God, Mia,’ Gabe sighed and rubbed his face.

‘What? You’re not going to tell me that you went around and beat him up are you? I
know
I shouldn’t have gone there, and I’m so sorry for breaking your trust. I promise now that I know how he feels about me, I won’t see him anymore, Gabe. I just need to have to have one meeting with him to explain that we can’t be friends now, to tell him that I’m sorry that I don’t feel that way about him, then I won’t see him again except in class. I don’t want to jeopardise my relationship with you Gabe, and I feel so awful that you were right all along, he
was
in love with me and I just didn’t see it.’

‘It doesn’t matter baby, don’t worry about it, ok?’ He gave me a sad smile.

‘But I do, how can I have been so stupid, Gabe? I didn’t see what was right under my nose with Milo, I put myself at risk with Adam by ignoring your advice. I just can’t believe it was him, I was so sure that Milo had grabbed me from behind.’

‘Mia, I’ve got to tell you something that’s not going to be easy to hear.’

‘I told you so?’ I gave him a wry smile.

‘No, not today,’ he replied with a sigh and a shake of his head.

‘Why are you being so nice about it? I thought you’d go mad at me.’

‘Mia, shouting at you isn’t going to help. You’ve been through hell baby and all I care about is that you’re safe now, you’re alive, safe and here with me,’ he sighed and grabbed my hands again. ‘I still have to tell you something though. Adam must have been hiding right outside the house and saw an opportunity while you were standing there alone. The right amount of pressure in the right place on someone’s neck can make them black out in seconds, then an injection of drugs can make sure if you come around you’re not really with it. He carried you to the car and …’

‘I
know
, you’ve already told me this, Gabe. I just want to forget it all and I’d really like to see Mum and Lexi now, they must be so worried about me.’

‘They are Mia, but you don’t know all of it. I left some of it out.’

‘Why?’ I looked at him puzzled.

‘Because I wanted you to be clear that Adam was the one who hurt you, not Milo.’

‘So what did you leave out?’ I looked at him puzzled. What was the deal? I just really wanted to see Mum and Lexi.

‘Mason saw Milo stagger out of the house as Adam was putting you in his car. Milo tried to attack Adam and … shit … Milo was trying to protect you baby, but he couldn’t stop Adam from taking you.’

‘Gabe? Is he ok?’

‘Mia, Adam … Adam stabbed him and jumped in his car and drove off with you.’

‘No! O God, no. Tell me he’s ok? Please tell me that he’s ok?’ I begged. Something in Gabe’s face told me that the worst was still to come and I suddenly felt sick again as I bolted upright.

‘Mason had to make a split second decision Mia, help Milo or follow you. He chose you.’

‘Gabe, I don’t understand what you’re trying to tell me. Mason left Milo hurt and alone?’

‘If he hadn’t followed you Mia you wouldn’t be sitting here now, no one would have known where Adam had taken you. It was the right call, the sensible logical choice,’ he nodded, as if trying to convince himself, as well as me. I held my breath as he continued. ‘Mason rang for an ambulance while he was tailing Adam’s car and sent them to help Milo, then he called the Police and told them what was going down so they could hopefully catch up with him, or meet wherever Adam was taking you.’

‘So he’s ok?’ I breathed a sigh of relief to know that not only was Milo not responsible for what had happened to me, but he was ok after risking his life to protect me from a seriously crazed Adam, yet again.

‘Mia, I’m so sorry baby, but … but the Paramedics were too late. He was already gone when they got there, from massive blood loss.’

‘No!’ I whispered as my eyes filled up again. Had I just heard Gabe right?

‘I’m sorry baby, I’m
really
sorry, they told me that it would have been quick.’

‘No, Gabe!’ I snatched my hands out of his as I tried to process what he was telling me. ‘Please tell me it’s not true. It’s not true.’ I felt the room starting to spin as nausea hit me again. Milo was
dead
? My friend had died trying to help me? Gabe tried to put his arms around me and I pushed him away. ‘NO!’ I yelled. I refused to believe it.

‘Mia, please.’

‘No, no, NO!’ I cried and hammered my fists on his chest as he tried to hold me again. ‘I want to wake up, this can’t be happening. This is all a horrible nightmare. I want to wake up now, Gabe.
Please.
’ I sobbed as I lost sight of his face through the tears and stiffened up as I felt his arms try to encircle me, I felt like I was suffocating. This
had
to be nightmare, this couldn’t be real. Not stalking and abductions, attempted rape, serial killers and best friends dying. This wasn’t real, I needed to wake up,
right now
. I pushed against his chest again freeing myself, then screamed with anger as I rained my fists down on him, pummelling his chest.

‘Harder,’ he shouted at me through my sobs. ‘Hit me harder, Mia. Get it out, pretend I’m Adam, pretend I’m him.’

‘NOOOOOOOO!’ I screamed as I hit him again and again until my arms hurt. As I slowed from exhaustion he grabbed my hands. ‘Nooooo,’ I cried as my body sagged and I felt totally defeated and empty.

‘I love you Mia, I love you and we’ll get through this, just like we’ve got through everything baby.’

‘
Gabe
,’ I sobbed. I felt him haul me into his arms and press me against his chest as he lay down and took me with him. ‘
Gabe
.’

‘I know baby, I know. It’s going to be ok. I’ve got you now,’ he murmured as he kissed my hair and held me. I gasped between tears as I felt a weird sensation in the back of my hand where my drip was attached. My head went all tingly and dizzy as my limbs started feeling heavy. Someone had just drugged me again.

‘Stop! Don’t,’ I moaned as I the room started spinning and I tried to fight against the effect of the medication. I suddenly saw Mum’s face swimming in the background, she looked so worried. ‘
Mum
,’ I cried as I tried to sit up and reach out a hand to her.

‘Mia, you’re going to be ok, we’re all here for you. Try and rest, Gabe’s just pressed your painkiller button as you were so upset. You need to sleep sweetheart. We’re all here, ok?’

‘Gabe,’ I moaned as I sank back into his arms feeling boneless and spaced out.

‘I’m right here baby. We’ll all be right here when you wake up. I love you so much Mia, sleep for me,’ he ordered as I felt his lips on my forehead and I gave up fighting it as I continued to cry and fell asleep.

I woke up screaming again and Mum came running into my bedroom.

‘Sweetheart, I’m here, you’re ok. You’re in your apartment, you’re home.’

‘Mum,’ I sobbed as I sat up and let go of big boy who I’d had my arms wrapped around. She sat on the edge of the bed and enveloped me in a tight hug. ‘I had a nightmare again. Why can’t I stop crying?’

‘You’ve been through a horrible ordeal Mia, and lost a close friend. You wouldn’t be human if you didn’t cry or have nightmares.’

‘It’s my fault Milo died Mum, it’s my fault. He was trying to protect me.’

‘I know you feel that way Mia, but you can’t blame yourself. You were no more responsible for putting that knife in Adam’s hand than I was. Adam had set his sights on you and he was going to take you away from us, no matter what. It could just have easily been Lexi, Gabe or Doug that was with you when he tried. You can’t keep torturing yourself like this.’

‘I know, but …’ I sniffed as I looked over her shoulder and saw Gabe standing in the entrance to the dressing room, wrapped in a towel, fresh out of the shower with a sad look on his face. I winced as I saw the bruises on his chest, bruises I’d put there on Friday as he’d let me punch him while I’d screamed.

‘Here Gabe, take her off my hands while I go and finish Sunday dinner for us all. Are you sure you’re up to joining everyone?’

‘Yes,’ I nodded with a sniff and grabbed a tissue to blow my nose. She cupped my face and kissed my forehead.

‘See you in while.’

‘Ok.’ I watched her leave and shut the door and looked over at Gabe. ‘I’m
so
sorry.’

‘For what?’ he smiled.

‘Everything. Disobeying you, frightening you, punching you …’ I stalled and dabbed my eyes with my tissue.

‘Hey, no more tears.’ He strode over and clasped my hands as he sat next to me. ‘If you hadn’t disobeyed me Adam could have grabbed you somewhere else, where you wouldn’t have been followed by Mason and saved. Being your stubborn self actually saved you, Mia. Scaring me, well you’ve done it before and you’ll do it again because I’ll always worry about you so that’s
my
problem, that’s just who I am. Punching me, I told you to, you needed to get some anger out. Anyway, those weren’t proper punches, my eighty-one year old grandma hits harder than that,’ he smiled. I giggled before my face fell, then I sighed as I traced the purple smatters all over his pecs.

‘Do they hurt?’

‘Not as much as seeing you in so much pain. What can I do?’

‘Nothing that you’re not already doing,’ I advised with a smile. I’d come home on Saturday morning and stayed in bed since then. Everyone had taken it in turns to come and sit on the bed to keep me company between my sleeping and crying. Except Gabe. Gabe hadn’t left my side since we’d got home.

‘I’m sorry I left you alone. I thought you were sleeping again so I took a quick shower. When I heard you scream …’ he shook his head.

‘No, I’m sorry, now I’m affecting you as well. You can’t stay with me twenty-four-seven, Gabe.’

‘Hey, don’t apologise. Whatever you need to do to deal with this is ok with me. You have all of us here, ok? Georgie had to leave this morning and didn’t want to wake you, but everyone else is here. Are you sure you’re up to this big dinner?’ He frowned as he looked at me. Mum and Gerry were staying in my old room at Lexi’s, and Robert and Sofia had flown over Friday night. Mum had suggested cooking here for them, so I felt safe in my own home without having to go out. She’d invited Doug and Lexi too, to try and give me something to look forward to, to take my mind off everything.

‘Yes, dinner with everyone would be nice. I can’t sit here crying all the time.’

‘What’s upsetting you the most?’ he asked before kissing my forehead again.

‘How helpless I was, I took self-defence Gabe, and it wasn’t enough and then Milo … I just can’t get past …’ I inhaled sharply and fluttered my hands in front of my eyes, trying to stop more tears.

‘Sssshhhh. I know how you feel on both fronts, Mia. Adam targeting you was pure randomness, which not only lead to him taking you, but also to my accident. I couldn’t have prevented him running me down any more than you could have fought off a bigger guy prepared to drug you. And as for Milo, it was tragic that your friend died trying to help you, but you’re no more responsible for his death than I am for Mum’s, ok? You won’t let me blame myself for that, I’m not going to let you blame yourself for this. Grief, that’s normal, but not blame. I don’t want you to go through life feeling the way I did over something out of your control.’ He picked my hands up and kissed my bruised wrists.

‘I love you so much,’ I whispered as some stray tears rolled down my cheeks.

‘I love you too,’ he smiled as he wiped my tears away. ‘More than you’ll ever know.’

‘Can I kiss your bruises better too?’

‘Sure,’ he smiled and straightened up. I ran my fingers over them first and saw his chest rising and falling rapidly to feel my touch on his bare skin. We’d not even kissed on the lips since I’d left him to go to the gym that night, let alone had sex or sexual touching. I think he was scared of frightening me and I was scared that I’d freak out the minute he climbed on top of me, which would upset him. I leaned in and gently ran my lips over the biggest one and heard him groan. I moved and lay a little trail all the way across, making sure I got each one and I felt his hands move tentatively into my hair. ‘Baby,’ he sighed.

‘Gabe, make love to me,’ I whispered as I straightened up and looked into his eyes. ‘I need you.’

‘I’d love to,’ he smiled, but he looked sad.

‘But you’re not going to, are you,’ I sighed.

‘No.’

‘Why not?’

‘Because you’re still traumatised, Mia. I’m worried that I may make you feel worse. Plus, there are six people all waiting out there looking forward to seeing you, and you’re not the quietest when you come.’

‘They’re all here already?’

‘Yes. You’ve spent so much time asleep since Friday that everyone’s desperate to spend some proper time with you.’

‘Sorry, I’ve just felt …’ I blew out.

‘Don’t apologise. Everyone understands, but it will do you good to leave the bedroom and have something to eat and to see your friends and family.’ He grimaced as he saw me wince at the word “friends” and I bit my lip. I couldn’t keep crying, it wasn’t going to bring Milo back and it was making everyone worry about me. ‘Sorry,’ he whispered.

‘Now it’s my turn to say don’t apologise. You can’t all pussy foot around me. I got off lightly.’ I shuddered as I thought of those poor six girls before me, the ones who hadn’t made it. I recalled how terrified I’d felt and I was only with Adam for minutes of his vile comments and cruel treatment. They must have endured so much. I flung my arms around Gabe’s neck. ‘Hold me, tightly, please,’ I begged.

He did as he was told and stroked my hair and I practiced some deep breathing of my own. Dr. Jarvis had been to see me this morning, as well as Saturday morning and had suggested we have daily sessions for now, and that I stay off Uni until after Christmas, to give me time to start dealing with everything. I’d happily agreed and Mum had convinced her College to let her have the last few weeks of autumn term off, so she could be here for me. She wanted Gabe to be able to have a break from looking after me, so he didn’t miss too many of his lectures. Gerry had taken some annual leave from his accounting firm to be here too. I felt pathetic to be so needy in wanting everyone here, but I was just too scared to be left alone at the moment.

‘Ok, you need to shower, you smell ripe,’ he teased, ‘like a six day old camembert that’s been left out in the sun.’ I gently thumped his shoulder as I let him go.

‘Charming.’

‘You’ll always smell delicious to me, baby. Come on, a hot shower will make you feel better.’ He stood up and held out his hand. I grasped it and stood up, then wobbled. ‘Mia, promise me you’ll try and eat tonight? You’re weak from not eating properly,’ he chastised.

‘What’s Mum cooking?’

‘Roast chicken with all the trimmings and bread sauce, your favourite.’

‘I might be tempted,’ I nodded with a smile. I’d only had soup the last couple of days, my appetite having left me. He led me to the bathroom and helped me undress and kissed my forehead.

‘See you out there in a while?’

‘Ok.’

‘You’ll be ok on your own?’

‘I’ll be fine knowing you’re all outside, thank you.’ I gave him a full smile and watched him head to the dressing room, closing the glass door behind him. I quickly ran and locked it, then locked the door to the lounge and let out a deep breath. I didn’t want to have a shower and risk anyone coming up behind me and scaring me. I still felt ridiculously jittery, but I was going to be as brave as I could so he didn’t worry any more than he already was.

I pulled my shower fresh wet hair back into a ponytail, I wasn’t in the mood to style it, or to do any makeup. I headed into the dressing room and pulled on my slouch pants and a mohair black slash neck jumper and avoided looking at myself in the mirror after all the crying. I ran I finger down my cheek, where Adam had put the knife against it. He’d used the flat side, but had left a long scratch where the blade had pressed into my skin and made it bleed. They put butterfly stitches over it as a precaution and the scab would fall off soon, but my stomach churned as I wondered if it was the same knife that he’d used to kill Milo. I felt my stomach spasm and ran back to the bathroom with my hand over my mouth, just making it in time to stick my head in the toilet bowl before I was violently sick. I sat back on my knees and wiped my lips as I tried to catch my breath. When I heard someone say my name behind me, I jumped and screamed before quickly scrambled back against the wall, wrapping my arms around myself as my heart tried to recover from the shock.

‘Shit, I’m so sorry,’ came Lexi’s voice. ‘I was looking for you in the bedroom and heard you in here.’ I put my hand over my heaving chest as I looked up at her standing in the dressing room doorway.

‘It’s ok, I just … I thought I was on my own, you scared me.’

‘I hate seeing you like this. What can I do?’ she asked as she grabbed a facecloth and wet it, then crouched down next to me and wiped my mouth, cleaning it for me.

‘Exactly what you’re already doing,’ I smiled.

‘Chicken dinner’s nearly ready and if you’re a really good girl and eat it all up, I’ll fetch you some Juicy Pear Jelly Belly’s for pudding,’ she coaxed.

‘Sod off,’ I giggled.

‘Wow, I hate to think what you would have said if I’d offered you liquorice flavour.’

‘A lot worse than sod off,’ I smiled. She knew I hated those. ‘Lex?’

‘Yeah?’

‘Please will you keep on treating me like nothing’s happened? Everyone else is pussyfooting around me and I get it, I really do, they’re finding it hard, but it’s nice to just be Mia without all the problems now and again.’

‘Sure. You want me to smack you with a pillow and tip another bottle of zinfandel over your head?’

‘Only if it’s the cheap stuff. Don’t you be wasting my Wandering Bear.’

‘Hey, while you’re off the booze because of these sleeping tablets Dr. Jarvis has given you, I’m gonna be
drinking
your Wandering Bear so don’t worry about it going to waste. That’s seriously good shit. Come on, everyone’s starving and really wants to see you.’ She stood and held out her hand, so I grabbed it and she hauled me up and I hugged her tightly.

‘Thanks,’ I whispered.

‘You’re welcome.’ She held my hand as we walked into the lounge. The smell of dinner cooking was amazing and my tummy let out a rumble, but there was a sudden awkward silence as everyone stopped talking to look at me with concern all over their faces. I automatically put my hand up to my throat, I could see their eyes looking at my bruised neck where Adam had choked me, it was a pointless exercise as now they were looking at my bruised wrists.

‘Ok Princess, one chocolate milkshake with a scoop of vanilla ice cream coming up,’ announced Gerry as he walked over and kissed my forehead.

‘Thank you,’ I smiled. It was something he always used to make me when I’d been good as a kid.

‘Hey Mia,’ Doug ambled over and stood in front of me hesitantly. I looked at everyone’s faces as they all just stared at me and took a deep breath.

‘Ok everyone, I realise this is a really weird situation that we’re all in, and you’re all finding it hard to know how to handle me, but please, can you try and treat me like normal? I don’t want to be mollycoddled and have you all feeling uncomfortable around me.’ Everyone just stood looking at me still, silently. ‘Ok, do I have to kick some arse to get you to do as I want?’ I asked.

‘Hug time then?’ asked Doug.

‘Hug time,’ I nodded and let him wrap his arms around me. I went around to do everyone in turn, noticing that the hugs were tighter and lasted a bit longer than normal.

‘Sweetie, I have to tell you this whole hair and skin situation you have going on is really not working,’ advised Sofia with a smile as she let me go. ‘We’re having a girlie day tomorrow, you, Lexi, Jacqui and I are going to the spa to get spray tans, facials and haircuts.’

‘We’re going out?’ I asked hesitantly. I wasn’t sure I was ready for that and she read the nerves on my face immediately.

‘I can get them to come to us if you’re not ready to go out Mia, either way an intervention is required.’

‘Sofia,’ I laughed, suddenly feeling better that I didn’t have to leave home. ‘Do I really look that bad?’

‘You’ve definitely looked better,’ Robert nodded and held out his arm. I tucked myself into his side as he gently held me next to him. ‘It’s so good to see you up and about.’

‘It’s nice to be,’ I nodded.

‘Who’s for some wine?’ Gabe asked.

‘Please,’ came a loud chorus which made me smile. Gerry came over with my chocolate ice cream float and Doug and Robert started laughing.

‘What? It’s good. If I can’t have wine then these are my poison of choice.’

‘You’re going to get away with
anything
for at least a month now, I reckon,’ laughed Lexi and I smiled, happy to see everyone relax a bit.