Infection Z (Book 5) (17 page)

H
ayden held
on tightly to Miriam and didn’t have a clue about anything going on around him.

The darkness was thick. He could still hear bullets, but they didn’t seem relevant anymore. They didn’t seem to matter.

Even the looming deadline to reach the extraction part didn’t seem to matter anymore.

The only thing that mattered was in his arms.

Bleeding from her stomach. From her chest. From her mouth.

Miriam.

“Please, Miriam,” Hayden said, pulling her closer. “Please hold on. Please.”

He could feel Amy tugging on his sleeve. He was vaguely aware of her telling him that they had to move, that they had to get out of here and to the extraction point, or at least just away from Gary’s people for now.

But none of that mattered.

Everything that mattered rested here in Hayden’s arms.

Another person he’d loved. Another person he’d cared about. Another person he’d put his faith in—one of the few people he’d actually managed to put his faith in, in his entire life.

Gone, just like the rest.

But no. That wasn’t true. Miriam was still alive. He could still help her. This wasn’t over. There was something he could do for her. There had to be.

“We—we need to lift her out of here,” Hayden said. He started to lift Miriam’s body but realised he was too weak himself to carry her.

Amy shook her head. “We can’t.”

“Amy, we have to!”

He hadn’t intended to shout. Especially not with Gary’s people closing in on his position. But he couldn’t help it.

The last thing he cared about was fading away.

The last person he truly wanted to protect was dying.

And there was nothing he could do to ease their pain.

“Lift her, Amy.”

“She’s too heavy.”

“We can’t just—just leave her here!”

“The people,” Amy said. “The bad people after us. They… they’ve gone. I think they’ve gone to the… to the extraction place.”

Hayden looked over the top of the car. The last thing he knew, Gary’s people had been firing bullets towards him. He was convinced they were still heading his way.

But they’d run on. For some reason, they’d run on.

Part of Hayden wondered if maybe it was because they hadn’t seen him. That he’d been hiding well enough.

But another part deep down knew exactly why they’d run on.

Gary swore he’d make Hayden suffer. He’d enjoy watching Miriam die; having his heart ripped out once again.

And he was winning.

He was absolutely…

Hayden looked down at Miriam. He saw her lips moving. Saw her coughing, spluttering.

A spark of hope ignited inside. Even though he could hear groans approaching, see silhouettes edging closer in the corners of his eyes, he crouched down and put his hand around the back of Miriam’s head. “It’s okay,” he said. “I’ve—I’ve got you. I’m here for you. And I swear I’m not letting you go.”

Miriam coughed a little more. Some of the specks of blood splattered onto Hayden’s face. Her eyes drifted, like she wasn’t completely conscious or aware of her surroundings.

“You don’t give up. Not for anything, okay? Please, Miriam. Just… Just please don’t leave me.”

Hayden felt the tears burning in his eyes. And as he crouched there by the side of the car, infected approaching in the moonlit darkness, he felt just like he’d felt when he said goodbye to Mum. When he’d said goodbye to Sarah and everyone else he’d said goodbye to.

He didn’t want to believe this was a goodbye. Didn’t want to accept it was a goodbye.

But it sure as hell felt like one.

He felt a hand touch his face. Cold, shaky.

But alive.

He looked around. Saw Miriam was the one reaching her hand out, holding onto him.

She looked right into his eyes, lucidity returning to her gaze. She smiled.

“Miriam I’m not going to let you go,” Hayden said. “I’m just… I can’t let you go. I can’t.”

“You… You can’t give up,” Miriam said, her voice raspy and strained.

“I won’t. I won’t give up. I—”

“On… on Amy. You can’t… you can’t give up.”

She stroked his face. And he understood what Miriam was saying to him then. What she was asking of him.

She was asking him not to give up on Amy.

But she wasn’t saying a thing about herself.

“I need you,” Hayden said. “I—I need you, Miriam.”

Miriam smiled. She opened her mouth like she was preparing to say something.

Amy shuffled around. “They’re coming. The infected. We’ve got to go.”

“I need you,” Hayden said, staring deeply into Miriam’s eyes.

He saw them looking at them, filled with the same life they’d always had. He remembered the first time he’d heard her voice. Locked away in Salvation prison. The way she’d convinced him to kill a guard before he’d even seen her face.

The way she’d given him a choice. A choice to go with her. A choice to break free of the pitiful excuse of an existence he’d been living up to that point and into a life of meaning; a life that mattered.

He’d lived that life. He’d been through the ups and downs of it, but one thing was for sure.

If it wasn’t for Miriam, he wouldn’t be the man he was right now.

If it wasn’t for Miriam, he wouldn’t be the man he had to be.

“I love you,” Hayden said. “I—I love you.”

Miriam’s eyes had already faded.

Her head bobbed to one side.

She let out her last breath, and her body went still.

G
ary sat
aboard the helicopter and felt the rotors above start to spin.

He couldn’t help smiling. Couldn’t help grinning as he sat there and waited to depart. He stared out into the darkness. Stared out into the world he was leaving behind. The world he’d lived in for so long—for
too
long.

He was one of the lucky ones. One of the ones who’d made it to this extraction point.

And Hayden McCall wasn’t. That was the main thing.

Hayden was staying behind because he belonged to this world. He was a monster.

He looked around the extraction point outside. Still couldn’t believe quite how organised a job this was. There were lots of helicopters. Eight, nine, maybe more. The sound of their rotors spinning was deafening, but the most beautiful kind of deafening. Barricades had been erected around the Dunstable Downs Golf Club, where armed guards dressed in black stood, shot down every infected that drifted into their view. They were UN. There was no doubting they were UN. They had the badges. They had the damned look in their eyes of people who hadn’t been exposed to the horrors Gary and the rest of the people who’d spent all these months living in this awful world did.

But they were leaving now. They were leaving and they were starting again. Starting from scratch.

Didn’t matter what’d happened in this world now. All that mattered was a new start. A fresh start.

It was just nice to see Hayden wasn’t going to be around to enjoy that same fresh start.

He looked around his helicopter. Saw the malnourished faces of fellow humans. He saw a woman with narrow cheekbones, with a scar on her forehead. She nodded at him, smiled. He smiled back. But there was an emptiness in her eyes. Emptiness in the way she looked at him. And he knew he’d be looking right back at her with a similar emptiness.

Living in this world for so long left a hole inside. Right in the middle of your damned chest.

It took everything you thought you knew away. Snatched it, right from the midst of your grip.

And it pissed all over it.

They were memories Gary couldn’t allow to resurface. Things he’d been forced to do that he couldn’t accept.

He leaned back against the chair and thought back to the people he’d fought with. The people he’d led, albeit for a short time. He’d enjoyed it. Enjoyed the way they made him feel. Like he was responsible for something. Like he was important. Hell, it’d felt good. No doubt about that.

But the closer he’d got to the extraction point, the more he realised he couldn’t have those people with him.

Because they knew what he was. They knew what the Gary of this world was capable of.

He couldn’t live in the company of people like that.

He thought about the mass of bodies he’d left lying a few miles behind. The women. The boys, barely old enough to call men. He’d shot them, one by one. Stabbed a few of them. They could’ve fought back. Could’ve shot him in return.

But he’d seen the hope in their eyes. The hope that this was all just some kind of mistake. Some kind of disastrous mistake.

They’d wanted to believe Gary was their saviour. And he’d wanted to be that person too, he really had.

But there was no room for them coexisting in the next world.

No room at all.

So he’d put them to sleep. Put all the memories of the past to sleep, one by one.

He smelled the engine fuel getting stronger. He knew they couldn’t be long before take-off now. He knew there was no chance Hayden was getting here on time. He’d been so transfixed staring into the eyes of his dying bitch that there’s no way he’d be coming back.

But still, Gary looked out into the darkness. Looked beyond the barriers, beyond the UN troops with guns.

He just hoped Hayden wouldn’t show up again to spoil the party.

He just hoped this was over—really, really over—and he could move on with his new life sooner rather than later.

A few minutes later, when 2 a.m. arrived, Gary felt the helicopter start to lift.

He bit his lip. His heart raced. He saw the apprehensive smiles around the helicopter. Heard the laughter. Heard the joy. And as the hell beneath him got further away, he felt his own hope building. He felt the old Gary returning. The Gary he’d been before this world fucked him up. The Gary he’d been to his friends. To his mother.

The real Gary.

He knew he could be that Gary again. He knew he could start all over again from scratch, get things back to how they used to be.

And as the helicopter got higher and higher, he looked down, and a morbid part of the Gary that’d existed in that apocalyptic world couldn’t help smiling at the thought of the next step. At the truth he’d overheard the UN troops discussing. The fate of Britain, of every inch of this island, half an hour after that final extraction was completed at five thirty a.m.

In four hours time, the entire length of Great Britain was going to be pummelled with nuclear weapons.

Every inch of the island was going to be cleansed. The virus was going to be bombarded. It’d be years before Britain could ever recover from the radiation, but it would. Eventually it would.

And as the helicopter got higher, the old Gary felt a tingle of excitement at the thought of watching this world burn.

At the thought of Hayden’s eyes as he watched the nukes fall.

He enjoyed that moment of excitement for a moment, and then he let it go.

He turned to the woman opposite. Smiled. “Hi there,” he said. “I’m Stefan. Pleasure to meet you.”

She smiled back. Took his hand.

Stefan
felt the seeds of his new life starting to sprout already as the helicopter flew onwards.

H
ayden walked
with Miriam in his arms.

It was still night, around three a.m., but he could see the first signs of the sky getting gradually lighter. He felt cold to the bone. Wasn’t sure whether it was because of the actual weather or because he was feeling sickly like he was turning. Or simply because of what’d happened to Miriam.

He just held on to her heavy body.

Headed back towards New Britain.

Walked.

He passed by many infected on the long road back. He didn’t even try fighting them off. But they never attacked him or Miriam, which meant that Amy must be dealing with them.

He didn’t know why she was still by his side. She should’ve walked away a long, long time ago. Because he couldn’t protect her anymore. He’d failed to get her to the extraction point on time. The one final opportunity to get away from New Britain, snatched away from her, and all because Hayden hadn’t been able to let Miriam go.

Well, maybe that was right. Maybe it was right not to let Miriam go.

Because Miriam had always been there for him. Miriam had been the one he’d been in love with.

It was just right that he was with Miriam right now.

“Where are we going?” Amy asked.

Hayden heard her voice, but it was fuzzy, unclear. His mouth was as dry as sandpaper. The air was thick with the smell of rot as he and Amy were still covered in the infected’s blood and body parts. Miriam wasn’t smelling too great either. But Hayden tried not to think about that. Tried not to even look at her.

He just carried her back towards New Britain.

Back towards the only safe place he knew.

Back towards his cocoon.

“We can’t just give up,” Amy said.

“We’ve nothing left to fight for.”

“We’ve—we’ve got each other.”

Hayden looked at Amy. Her face was covered in tears. She was a strong kid, to her credit. She’d only lost her mum yesterday, watched her home collapse around her. And now she was telling Hayden there was still hope. Even if he wanted to be annoyed with her, he couldn’t be. The kid had been through enough as it was.

“We’re heading back to New Britain,” Hayden said.

Amy narrowed her eyes. “Why would we—”

“There’s nowhere else for us to go.”

“But the other extraction points. The—the one at Sheffield. The last one at 5.30. We could try getting to—”

“It’s no use,” Hayden said. “We won’t make it on time. It’s over, Amy. Just… just forget about it.”

They kept on walking onwards, the weight of Miriam’s dead body weighing down Hayden’s shoulders. He’d lied to Amy. They had a chance of making the Sheffield extraction point—the final one—if they found some kind of vehicle anyway. But even then, it was a good two and a half hours away, and that was assuming nothing got in their way.

Besides, what was it for?

What was the point anymore?

There was nothing left to fight for. Besides, it’d probably all be some kind of con anyway. Some kind of setup.

No. They had to go back to the only place they really knew was safe.

They had to go home.

“What’s this?” Amy asked.

Hayden didn’t turn around. Not at first.

Not until he caught a whiff of death.

An unavoidable stench.

And then he saw them.

There were bodies on the ground all around him. Bodies, with bullet wounds in their skulls. Eyes wide open. Arms and legs splayed in unnatural positions.

Some of them were holding on to weapons.

The infected were leaning down over some of them, ripping their guts out of their torsos.

The crows were joining them.

But it wasn’t just the mass mound of dead that threw Hayden. Finding dead bodies was a normal enough phenomenon in this world.

What caught Hayden’s attention more than anything was the fact that he recognised some of these people.

“These are Gary’s people,” Hayden said.

He walked through them. Saw one of the infected rise. He pulled out his knife and rammed it into the side of its neck before it could attack.

“What you think happened to them?” Amy asked.

Hayden looked around at them. They’d clearly been shot. “Could be these people pretending to be the UN,” he said. But there was something else tugging at his chest, convincing him otherwise. “Or it could be… someone else.”

“Like who?”

Hayden didn’t tell Amy who. But the fact was, he’d found Gary’s people.

Gary was nowhere to be seen.

“Come on,” Hayden said. “We can’t stay here. We have to—”

He nearly fell from his feet when he saw the man standing opposite.

He wasn’t infected. But he was bleeding from his chest. Gripping onto it.

There was a bite wound right across his stomach.

Hayden put Miriam’s body down. He recognised the man as Carl, someone he’d known from back at New Britain. He lifted one of the guns he’d found. Pointed it at Carl.

“Nukes,” Carl said.

Hayden narrowed his eyes. “What?”

“Nukes. They… After the last extraction. At six in the morning. Nukes. Boom. All of it.”

He dropped down to his knees. His eyes drifted. This man was dying.

“What happened here?” Hayden asked. He kept the gun pointed at Carl.

“Kill me.”

“Not until you tell me what happened here.”

Carl looked up at Hayden. Hayden could see the tears, the pain, in his eyes. His bottom lip quivered on his pale face. “Gary did this. Said… said we belonged to this world. That it’d—it’d be all over soon.”

Fuck. So Gary had done this. That son of a bitch had done this.

“Kill me,” Carl said. “Before I turn. And before… before the explosions. I don’t want to die that way. I don’t want to—”

Hayden pulled the trigger.

Put Carl down before he could say another word.

The gunshot echoed across the vast, empty expanse of fields.

“What’s nukes?” Amy asked.

The words sent a sickliness through Hayden’s body. He knew what the transmission meant now when it said the final extraction would be the final chance to escape.

They were bombing Britain.

At six a.m., after that final extraction at Sheffield at five thirty, they were wiping Britain clean of infection and starting again.

And who could blame them?

“Come on,” he said, reaching down for Miriam.

“We’re still going back?”

“We… we have to.”

As Hayden went to lift Miriam up, he got a flashback to Martha. To those final words she’d said to him.

“You’re going to get everyone killed.”

And Daniel.

“You keep these people safe no matter what. Even if it means doing something you really don’t want to do.”

And then Miriam, too.

“If we can force ourselves into doing those impossible things—then we can do anything we want. We can be anything we want.”

And her final words.

“
You can’t give up.”

But the most prominent words of all were Annabelle’s. Annabelle’s, all that time ago at the swimming pool.

“The worst monsters of all are the ones inside your head.
”

He heard those words as if being spoke to him directly; as if someone was saying them out loud to him right now.

And Hayden heard them clearly. Clearer than he’d ever heard them in his life. Like they were speaking directly to his soul.

Miriam was gone. Yes, she was gone.

But Amy was still here.

And no matter how close to death or turning he might be, he had to protect her.

He couldn’t just leave her alone in this world.

He couldn’t leave her to die.

He put Miriam back down. Looked into her wide open, dead eyes.

“I told you I’d never give up,” he whispered, leaning close to her.

He kissed her sour, dead lips.

“I never will.”

He held on to her for a few seconds. Felt the final warmth seeping from her body, into his.

And then he stood.

Turned around. Looked right at Amy.

“It’s time,” he said.

Amy narrowed her eyes. “Time for what?”

Hayden walked up to her. Held out his hand. “We’re leaving this place. Both of us. We’re going to fight and it’s going to be a struggle, but I made a promise. A promise never to give up. A promise to so many people never to give up. And I’m sticking to that promise. I’m sticking by it because I want you to be safe, Amy. I want you to have a chance. A chance of living a normal life again. A chance at living in the new world.”

Amy narrowed her eyes some more. She kept her stare up at Hayden. “Where are we going?”

Hayden took in a deep breath. He turned around. Looked at the walls of New Britain—of his “perfect little bubble”—well in the distance.

Then he looked down at Miriam. Remembered what she’d said. So many times, she’d told him to break out of his bubble. To defeat his comfort zone. And by doing that, he could achieve the one thing he wanted more than anything else.

Protecting his people.

“Hayden? Where are we going?”

He looked around at Amy. Smiled. “We’re going to the final extraction point. Sheffield. We’re leaving this place. And we’re not giving up until the end.”

He kept his hand out for Amy.

It took her a while, but eventually, she took it.

“Now come on,” Hayden said, “let’s get moving.”

As they ran back in the direction they’d headed from, Hayden felt the grip of New Britain trying to tug him back.

He felt the fear of this outside world tightening around him.

But more than anything, he felt Annabelle’s words radiating inside.

“The worst monsters of all are the ones inside your head.”

He was conquering his own monsters.

And conquering his own monsters was going to save Amy’s life.