Infection Z (Book 5) (7 page)

A
my’s screams
rang in Hayden’s ears.

Hayden saw the scene in front of him as if it wasn’t real. As if he was watching it on television, detached from it, not quite taking it in.

But there was no denying it was real.

There was no denying the truth of the horror in front of him.

Martha was lying on her back. Blood was pooling out of her torso, out of her chest, out of her neck. Her eyes were wide, and more blood dribbled down from her lips.

An infected perched above her, ravaging her.

Hayden tasted vomit hitting the back of his mouth. He could smell Martha’s blood. The only sound he was aware of was Amy’s screaming, her crying fit, as her mother got ripped to pieces in front of her.

And Hayden felt his face pricking up with heat. He felt the muscles in his body tightening as he stood there watching, embraced by shock—just as Miriam and Shelley were.

He felt the burning sensation of rage building up inside.

He walked over to the infected. Grabbed it by the back of its white polo neck collar. With all the strength inside him, he pulled it away from Martha and pushed it down to the ground.

He sat on it. Pressed its forehead down with his left hand, watched as it writhed and wretched and tried everything it could to break free of Hayden’s grip.

And Hayden punched it.

Punched it in the throat.

Punched it over and over and over. So hard that he felt its skin splitting. That he felt its blood splattering up, hitting his face.

He punched at its mouth. Punched at its face. And before he knew it he felt blood across his knuckles. He heard the infected’s teeth snap under the force of his punch.

He knew why he was doing this. He knew why he was crouching here, beating the infected to a pulp. He knew why the rage was burning inside him, and that the only thing he could focus on or think about was turning this fucker into mincemeat.

Not just because it’d bitten Martha. Not just because it’d torn her to pieces.

But also because he knew the truth.

If he’d let Martha go when she wanted to go, she’d still be alive right now.

If he hadn’t held her back in hope of keeping his group here, Martha wouldn’t have been bitten.

If he’d just done the right thing—the thing he should’ve done all along—then Amy wouldn’t have had to watch her mum have all her immortality ripped away just inches from her.

When Hayden’s thoughts and consciousness returned to the forefront, he could still hear Amy crying.

He looked down. Looked at the mess in front of him. The infected’s skull had caved in. It had softened from decomposition in the first place, but beating a skull to a pulp was still hardly an everyday thing. He could taste sick on his lips. Sick and blood. His head spun. His body shook as the adrenaline cooled down

The infected was dead. The infected was finished.

His knuckles were raw, bruised, possibly broken.

But he’d done what he had to do.

He went to stand when he saw Miriam looking at him in a peculiar way.

He didn’t totally understand her look at first. Didn’t completely comprehend why it was she was looking at him with such… fear.

But then he felt the blood drip down the side of his face and he knew exactly why, right at that moment.

She was seeing him for the monster he really was.

She knew why he’d beaten the infected in such a way. She knew it wasn’t just because of what happened to Martha. She knew there was another reason, too.

And Hayden couldn’t deny that.

He was guilty.

Guilty for Martha’s death.

Guilty for having Amy witness her—

He heard a splutter.

A splutter, over on his left.

His stomach dropped, right at that moment.

“Mum!”

He watched as Amy ran out of Shelley’s arms and to her mum’s side. He worried. Worried that Martha might turn right there. The speed of turning was always different. Sometimes, turning was more rapid than others.

“Amy, you’d better watch…”

But Amy was in her mother’s arms.

Covered in her mother’s blood.

Martha, gripping on to the last fragment of life in her veins, stroked the back of her daughter’s hair, clogged it up with blood.

Hayden stood and stared at them for a few seconds. He felt their pain. Felt the pain of a child losing someone they cared about so dearly. He knew how that felt. He’d loved his older sister more than anyone when he found her hanging. And it took him months to truly understand what’d happened. Years, even. In fact, sometimes, in the dark of night, lying there in the silence, Hayden wondered if he’d ever really got through what happened to his older sister at all. He wondered how different his life would be if she hadn’t killed herself that day.

He wondered if he’d still be alive right now.

He walked over to Miriam. He didn’t look at her. He just held his hand out. He didn’t have to ask her for her to know exactly what he wanted.

Miriam didn’t say anything back to him. And after a moment’s hesitation, she put the machete into Hayden’s hand. She didn’t look into Hayden’s eyes. Not once. And Hayden knew why. Hayden understood why.

Blame.

But he didn’t have time to think about that right now.

He walked over to Amy and Martha’s side. Martha was still spluttering, her eyes wide and bloodshot. Amy held on to her, tears soaking her bloodstained cheeks.

“Please don’t go, Mum. Please don’t leave me. Please.”

Hayden wasn’t sure what to do. After all, what did anyone do in these situations?

In the end, he decided to crouch down beside Amy. To put a hand on her back. To pat it. “We’ve got you, Amy. We’re here. We’ve got you.”

They sat there for a few minutes. Sat there and looked down at Martha. And as Martha’s splutters grew less frequent, as her grip on her daughter’s hand loosened, Hayden knew the moment was arriving. He knew he’d have to put her down for good. He felt a lump in his throat. Pressure behind his eyes with every cry from Amy. It wasn’t right. Wasn’t right what she’d witnessed. Wasn’t right what else she’d have to witness and go through.

“You know what I have to do, Amy.”

“Please don’t.”

“You say… you say your goodbyes and then—”

“Please. Please.”

“And then go over to Miriam and Shelley.”

Amy let out a pained cry. She tucked her head right under Martha’s neck. And Hayden felt warm tears rolling down his cheeks as he looked at the bitten mother and her daughter right beside her. This kid would never survive this. She’d never live this down.

But it was his duty to keep her safe. To keep everyone safe.

It was his duty to make sure she survived.

After a few more seconds, Miriam and Shelley managed to ease Amy away from her mum. That left Hayden alone with Martha. Alone, staring down into the eyes of the woman he’d worked so hard to find when he was travelling to Warrington with Newbie. The woman who he’d lived with at Riversford for all that time. The woman who’d found her way back to him; saved his life and saved so many other lives.

The woman whose death he was responsible for.

He lifted the machete with his shaky hand. Held it right across her neck. It wasn’t a nice way to go. A messy way, for sure.

Right now, it was the best option. Often, in this world, you had to just settle for the best option.

He lifted the machete.

“You… you’re going to get everyone killed.”

Martha’s spluttered whisper froze Hayden.

He looked down. Looked to see if she really had spoken.

Her eyes were closed. Her lips were sealed. Nobody else seemed to have noticed if she’d said anything.

But those words.

He couldn’t get them out of his head.

“You’re going to get everyone killed.”

He didn’t want to believe them. Didn’t want to face up to them. But something about them resonated. Something about them made a horrible kind of sense.

A voice inside his head told him he
was
going to get everyone killed.

If he didn’t change, he was going to get everyone killed.

Hayden wiped the tears from his eyes. He sniffed. “I’m sorry,” he said. “Thank you for… for everything.”

He brought the machete down on Martha’s neck.

Hard.

And as her head disconnected from her body, as more blood splattered onto Hayden, all he could think about were those words.

“You’re going to get everyone killed.”

T
he walk
towards the wall was a blur.

The late morning sun peeked through the clouds. There was a distinct autumnal chill to the air, and with it, silence. Silence not like the peaceful kind that New Britain was used to, but an eerie kind. The silence of many lives lost. Of tons of people killed—no, butchered.

New Britain had changed in this last hour. It had changed, and it would never be the same again.

Where many of the bodies once lined the streets, there were now just patches of blood. Patches that the infected had risen from. Risen from, then gone away to pursue more prey. It was too quiet here. Stupidly quiet. Hayden wondered if maybe everyone was dead, or if the infected had just moved on.

But no. He swore he felt eyes on him at every turn.

He swore he saw movement lurking in the alleyways, creeping up on him.

He heard Amy crying and his stomach sank again.

He looked around. Saw Miriam with an arm around her shoulder. Poor kid looked totally wrecked after what happened to her mum. Didn’t help that she was covered in her mum’s blood, either, the taste of it no doubt sticking to her lips. A constant reminder of what she’d witnessed. Of what’d happened. Of what she’d lost.

Lost, at the hands of Hayden.

“The ladders over the walls might just be our best bet right now.”

Hayden looked to his right. Daniel walked by his side. He’d joined them not long ago. They found him running through the street, fleeing an infected. He didn’t have that typical smile on his face anymore. Even his black suit, which he religiously wore with such pride, looked haggard, out of sorts.

But he was alive. He was alive and he wasn’t infected. That counted for something.

“You know it’s not going to be as easy as just walking away from here,” Hayden said.

Daniel sighed. He shook his head. “Then tell me if you have a better option.”

Hayden could hear a shakiness in Daniel’s voice. A fragility that was rare in someone with such confidence, such assertiveness. “I’ve been thinking of a few places.”

“Outside?”

“No, ins—”

“We can’t stay in here, Hayden.”

“It’s gone quieter.”

“That’s probably just because the infected have moved to a more populated place. You know just as well as I do that New Britain is a big place.”

“Then that’s all the more reason to stay.”

“What?”

“It’s a big place. I mean, sure, this part’s been attacked. But that doesn’t mean everywhere’s fallen. There’ll still be places in here we can go to—”

“Is he seriously still talking about staying in here?”

Hayden’s stomach sank when he heard Miriam’s voice. It sank even more when he saw the look in her eyes. He was used to her being sarcastic, jokey, but not like this. She spoke to him like he wasn’t even
himself
anymore. Like he’d done something she couldn’t forgive. And he supposed she was right, in a way. He had done something wrong. He’d let Amy watch her mother die. He’d been the one to try and convince Martha to stay. If they’d been just seconds earlier leaving, then what happened wouldn’t have happened. That was on him.

“We need to weigh up the best option,” Hayden said.

“I’ve weighed up all the fucking options,” Miriam interrupted. “There’s only one damned option worth taking, and that’s leaving this place.”

“I’ve tried to tell him the same,” Daniel said.

“Don’t you start,” Hayden said.

Daniel narrowed his gaze. “What?”

“If you hadn’t started fucking curing people willy-nilly in the first place, maybe we’d have had our guards up higher. Maybe these—these runners wouldn’t be around at all.”

A smile did return to Daniel’s face at that point. Only it was one of disbelief. “So you’re saying this is my fault?”

Hayden shook his head. “Not your fault, just—”

“You’re saying it’s my fault, and you’re failing to be honest and open about the fact that you’ve been killing people who walk near to our gates because you’re too scared about what might happen if someone gets inside?”

Daniel’s words knocked Hayden back. He knew he suspected as much. He’d said about what happened to Amanda, and that excelled Hayden’s fears that he was on to him.

But to say that. To say out loud that Hayden had killed people simply because he was worried who they might be…

“Is it true?”

Hayden looked up at Miriam. She had that look in her eyes again. Looking at him like he was a monster. The most disgusting fucking monster she’d ever seen.

“All I’ve ever tried to do is keep this place safe—”

“It is true, isn’t it?”

Hayden opened his mouth to argue. But he figured there were times to lie and times to be totally truthful, and right now the only option was the truth. “If I hadn’t then God knows how long ago this place would’ve already been attacked.”

Miriam shook her head. Shelley looked at him with wide eyes. Even Amy, still caught in the throes of grief, looked at Hayden differently than she used to.

“You fucking disgust me,” Miriam said.

And then she walked, Shelley and Amy by her side, in the direction of the wall.

Daniel held his ground. Just for a few seconds, he held his ground.

“We can still get to the armoury,” Hayden said. “It’s the safest place here. Whether you… whether you hate me or not, it’s the safest place.”

Miriam turned around. Shook her head. “I’m not going a single fucking place with you again. Because you’re dangerous. You get people killed. You’re so fucking caught up in your comfort zone, and I knew that. But to be so fucking caught up that you actually
kill
people who are out there—people who need our help? That’s seriously fucked up. And I won’t stand by and let that happen. I won’t stand for your bullshit. Not anymore.”

Hayden watched her leave. He watched Amy, Shelley, Daniel, all of them leave. He felt alone again. Alone. Trapped. Because they were a part of his safety. They were a part of his comfort zone.

Without them, he was just that same wanderer who aimlessly travelled the country after Sarah’s death.

He was just the same as the monsters.

But there was nothing he could do. Nothing he could do to win them over. Nothing he could do to convince them to his way of thinking. Not anymore. Not after the damage that’d already been done.

He started to turn around and head back in the direction of the armoury when he saw something just ahead of Miriam, Amy, Shelley, Daniel.

No.

Not some
thing.

Lots of fucking things.

The group stopped. Stopped, right in their tracks.

In front of them, standing between them and the wall, a group of infected.

Ten of them. Maybe more.

All of them standing there.

And then, running.