Indwell (Chasing Natalie's Ghosts) (35 page)

“What is it?” I asked, having trouble holding the receiver.

“Please, just come home. I’ll see you soon.” He hung up. Why would John call their house home?

Carlos insisted he take me. I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t make out sentences as we drove. Something horrible has happened. I just prayed my mother was okay. I prayed Luke was okay. I even prayed for my father. John never called this place home before. I don’t think either of us has even been to the new house yet. Carlos tried to calm me. He placed his arm around me and let me rest my head on his shoulder.

All my dreams of not needing anyone flew out the window. I was so thankful Carlos was still here. I couldn’t face this alone. It was late as we pulled into my parent’s driveway. They were living in a small house in the city now. I could tell, even in the dark that this house was old. I could sense the phantoms surrounding the house like they had just been evicted. That was not a good sign. Carlos saw them too. He squeezed my hand.

“I will be here for as long as you need me to be,” he said as he looked into my eyes, reassuring me. He held my hand as he nudged me through the gathering phantoms. We both stopped at the same time. I saw what the phantoms were trying to hide from me. The yellow tape was wrapped around the doors. The yellow police tape telling people not to enter, this was a crime scene now. I ran to the door. Carlos was right behind me. I opened the door and raced in. There in the living room was John and two men in suits.

“This is my sister Natalie. She hasn’t been home in months either,” he said this with such remorse, like we should have been here.

“What happened? Where is Annie? Where is my mother?” I asked, feeling the breath being choked out of me. I was going to faint. I had to hear what happened first. Too late, the room spun and turned black as I fell back into Carlos’ arms. I awoke a short time later. I was lying on the couch.

“Are you okay Natalie?” Carlos asked. He was wiping my face with a cold wet cloth. I nodded then realized I was still in this horrible nightmare. I sat up and saw John again.

“What happened?” I said flatly.

“They’re gone Natalie. They’re all gone,” he told me, expressionless. He was looking at the man in the black suit now.

“Natalie, I’m detective Morgan. I am investigating what happened here two nights ago. I will tell you what you need to know, but I want to be sure you’re ready to handle this. Would you like me to call you an ambulance?” he asked. Why the hell do I need an ambulance, all I did was faint.

“No thank you. Just please tell me where my mother went. Where is Luke?” I asked looking back at John’s tormented face.

“Oh God,” I whispered.

“It appears there was an altercation. Your father must have been in a rage and he attacked your mother. I understand that this is not unusual.”

“No, he did it a lot,” I said angrily.

“Unfortunately this time he took it too far. I’m afraid he killed her.” I crumbled to the floor. Carlos was holding me again. I grasped his arm for support. The investigator lowered to the floor as well and continued.

“Luke walked in and saw her on the floor. He must have lost control. Apparently he was keeping a gun in his room. The fighting may have increased since you left and we believe he wanted to be able to protect her. He shot your father in the head and I’m so sorry Natalie, he then turned the gun on himself.” I couldn’t breathe. The room was spinning. John was on the other side of me. He was crying on my shoulder. I couldn’t speak. I looked around the room.

It happened downstairs. I could sense it. I stood up, shaking John to the floor. Carlos helped him up. I gripped the angel hanging around my neck with one hand as I walked over to the staircase. I could sense someone was down there. I have never felt so afraid in all my life. My father was down there. He was lost. He was confused. He didn’t know he was dead. That explains why all the other phantoms were outside. They could feel the torment in him. He was dangerous in his ignorance. Do I go down there and tell the bastard he is dead? Do I remind him how it happened? Carlos quickly grabbed my hand.

“Natalie, please don’t go down there. Clive is sending a crew to take care of him. Do not put yourself in danger, he isn't worth it,” Carlos was whispering so quietly, he didn’t want the investigator to hear. I walked to the edge of the stairs and looked down.

“I hope you rot forever for what you have done. I will not give you any more of my time. May you suffer for all eternity?” I whispered my vengeance. I saw him standing at the bottom of the stairs. He was unable to climb up.

“Natalie? Is that you? Natalie what have I done?” he was panic-stricken. I reached back for Carlos’ hand and he led me away from the stairs. John and I left. He was staying in the same hotel as me for a few days, until everything was settled, then he would go back home.

We shared some old family photos and Luke’s writing. He had journals full. I cried for three days straight. Then one morning I woke up and my eyes were so dry they hurt. Carlos refused to leave me. He slept on the couch the whole time. He was such a good friend. He brought me food even when I wouldn’t eat. I dressed in black that morning. I stood in front of the mirror and gasped at my pale skin and sunken eyes. My long hair fell straight down my back. I didn’t have the energy or ambition to try any harder. John and I drove with Carlos to the church.

This service was just for Annie and Luke. Yesterday there was a small service at the funeral home for my father. I didn’t stay for it. I said good bye and I did pray his torment would end but that was all I could do. John and I left together. The service for my mother and Luke was much larger. Strangers were crying and hugging us. There was such a beautiful outpouring of support, I felt like it was all too late though. I should have done something, anything.

She was so calm and beautiful in her red dress. All the lines and bruises were gone from her face. I knew she was at rest. Luke I wasn’t so sure about. I may see him again soon, I thought as I looked upon his pained face. When it was over John gave me a hug and said to keep in touch. He was going back home now. He thanked Carlos for being there with me. He felt better knowing I wasn’t going to be alone. I held Carlos’ hand as I left the church. I was having them cremated so I would return to the funeral home in a few days to collect their ashes. The sun was bright and warm as I stepped outside. I stopped and took a deep breath.

“Now what do I do Carlos? I don’t even know where my
home
is anymore,” I was shaking as Carlos held on to me.

“Your home is with Hayden. He has just returned from escorting your father to the Inn. He thought it would be best, for you to have closure, if he did it,” I was shocked. I thought Hayden was gone, unaware of my tragedy. I looked up and saw him walking towards me. He was hurting because I was, I could feel it. I knew he was afraid of what I would I say to him. I was unsure myself what I wanted to say. Carlos hugged me again and kissed my forehead.

“I will be in touch soon to check on you and if you ever need me remember to just call. Good bye Natalie,” he said as he started to walk away from me.

“Carlos!” I shouted. “Thank you for being here. I couldn’t have survived without you,” I told him. He smiled and walked away. I saw him greet Hayden and drive away.

I started to walk towards Hayden. He was beside me in a flash. I quickly glanced back to make sure there was no one watching. Hayden reached for my hand.

“I am so sorry Natalie,” he said so full of anguish. He moved his hand and now he held my face gently.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t at the house to greet you. I can explain all of it if you will let me?” he said nervously. I could feel him tremble. His face was composed but I knew just one word from me would reduce him to tears. I reached my hands up and placed them around his neck.

“Oh Hayden, I have missed you. Please bring me home. I’m exhausted,” I smiled at him and he looked at me with such relief. He kissed me sweetly and led me to the car. As we drove to the beach house, I rested my head on his shoulder and fell asleep.

I awoke and felt his hand on my knee. It felt so right. I rested my hand on his and sighed.

“We are just about there, my darling. How are you feeling?” he asked kindly.

“I still feel tired and my throat feels like someone is choking me. I haven’t eaten in days but I think I am hungry now,” I tried to reassure myself that I was okay.

“That, I can help you with. I filled the fridge and pantry so we wouldn’t have to leave for days. I have some sweet and sour soup and some fresh rolls. How does that sound for starters?” He seemed proud of his foraging.

“That sounds perfect, oh and salad too?” I asked teasing.

“Of course,” he smiled.

We pulled into the drive. Hayden carried me in and gently placed me on the couch. He went into the kitchen to prepare some food. I walked out onto the deck and rested on the lounger. I watched the waves. The psychiatrist that met John and I before the funeral gave us medication to calm our torment and relieve some of the pain. I realized watching the ocean that this was what I really needed. My mind was unable to wonder from the waves. I just stared at the ocean, completely unaware of anything around me. Hayden was unsure if he should disturb me or not. He quietly placed the tray beside me and rubbed my shoulders briefly. I knew he was worried. I decided to eat while not taking my eyes from the ocean.

“If you want to talk Natalie, remember I am here for you. If you just want to sit in silence I can do that too.” I smiled and nodded but I still didn’t look away from the waves.

Hours later I sat up and walked to the edge of the water. The moon was full and its light sent sparkles all over the ocean. It was magical to see. I couldn’t resist. I had to touch it. I walked into the water. I sensed Hayden was close behind me. I felt a wave of release go through my body. I fell down on my knees and cried. I felt the pain in my throat leave. I felt my lungs clear and demand me to take deep breaths. I felt light headed and was happy when Hayden knelt down beside me, ready to help me up. Once I stood I hugged him and kissed him repeatedly. He was my life again. I needed him like I needed the ocean. I started to shiver. As we walked back to the house I felt a familiar breeze surround me. It was him. It was new. He was in the woods. He was lost, frightened and alone. I looked in his direction.

“Luke!” I whispered. He ran as soon as he realized I saw him. He will have to come back soon or else I’ll have to go look for him.

21. IT BEGINS

“I know your there. I just want you to know that I am here for you. I can listen to you. I can see you. Luke, please reconsider the path you’re on. I know it hurts. You’re disillusioned and you want some kind of revenge. You deserved better. We all did. Please do not take it out on the innocent,” I talked, alone in the dark, looking into the woods. I knew he was there but he was hiding from me. Hayden was watching out for me from the back deck.

I have been recovering for weeks. Hayden has stayed with me, rarely leaving my side. I’ve been waiting until the moment arrived when I would feel prepared to scatter my mother’s ashes. I was also trying to decide where to scatter Luke’s. He was taken too soon. I realized I didn’t know enough about him. I couldn’t make this decision yet. I had to wait, especially with him out there, it didn’t seem right. I was so grateful for Hayden’s patience. Clive has been calling him. He wants him back.  As much as Clive loves me he is focused on the light. His mission in life is to gather it. He wanted me as one of their Seekers and he understands I am in mourning but he wants at least Hayden back in the search. Of course Hayden is hesitant to leave me alone.

I can take care of myself now, but I don’t really want him to know it yet.  I like having his full attention. It is so different for me. My parents were not very good at keeping me stable and safe. I love the way Hayden watches over me. He takes care of all the little things. He even makes sure I eat. I love the way he looks me in the eyes when I tell him I’m fine. It almost brings me to tears when he wraps his arms around me and tells me he loves me. This selfish phase will inevitably come to an end. I have no choice but to step back into life again.

“I was thinking of going back to high school in September, for my last term. I really want to finish. I hope you don’t mind if we go back to the apartment for five months. We can come back here on weekends and holidays,” I mentioned this one night as we finished dinner, and he was handing me a bowl of black cherry ice cream.
“I guess we can do that. Are you sure you want to? I can probably find you a tutor and home school you?” He suggested this because he knew he wouldn’t be able to watch me all day if I went to a public school. I had to admit to myself that the escape from his constant watch might eventually be a good thing.  He was worried that there would be retaliation against me for Adams’ disappearance. He didn’t trust Luke either. What he didn’t realize was that I was not afraid of them, any of them anymore. I was stronger now.

As much as I loved Hayden I needed to stretch my wings. I needed to take risks. I have always felt like a wanderer. I felt like I had to finish high school and move on. I wanted to travel and I began to think that it might be good for me to meet other Seekers. I still wanted my beach house too though. It would be nice to know that it would be here waiting for me when I returned for a rest in between my destinations. Unfortunately leaving on any trip right now would not be a good idea, because Luke was here and he would need me eventually. I had to help him as soon as he was ready for it. So it seemed like the perfect time to go back to school. Secretly, I wanted to race with the track team now that I had speed. Hayden had warned me not to expose myself to the public, but Carlos told me he raced after he was given the light. He had to restrain himself though, he had said while laughing. “I made sure I wasn’t too far in the lead.”

I had called Carlos a few times from the beach house, when I was feeling low. I loved to listen to his stories. He was a Seeker and an excellent trainer. He loved his work. He would tell me about his latest captures. I began to feel jealous. I wanted to be out there, scaling buildings, jumping from cliffs and stabbing my Kris. The need to seek was starting to take over. Hayden must be feeling the same thing but he was sacrificing it for me. I had to let him know that it was okay for him to go ahead without me. I wanted to go out alone. I needed too. I didn’t want anyone critiquing me or cautioning me. I needed to run free.