Indulgence (372 page)

I wanted to survive. I wanted to fight. But what was I going
to fight against? The most intense orgasm I’d ever had or the last few bites of
brownie left in my hand?

Certainly not against the man who’d given them to me.

I was fucked in every way possible. I shoved the last of the
brownie in my mouth then took a drink of water to wash it down.

“We can take a walk around the lake before we head back.”

“Do we have to head back? I like being outside.”

“We can make it a slow walk.” He stood and then glared down
at me, “Why the hell am I negotiating with you?”

“Because it’s my birthday,” I smiled.

He laughed and shook his head, offering his hand to help me
up. I started to fold up the blanket, but he dropped the cooler in the center
of it and told me to leave it.

“One of the grounds keepers will pick it up.”

“Handy,”

Kirk raised his eyebrows and hummed, leading me toward a
small worn path that circled the lake.

“Did I earn my answer?” I asked.

“Actually, I had hoped that you forgot about the question.”
A twig snapped under his foot as he lifted a branch for me to pass underneath.
“I came here because I didn’t have anywhere else to go. I was working on the
street—”

I gasped.

“Not that kind of working on the street. Moving drugs,
dabbling in gambling—whatever I could to earn a roof over my head and a meal. I
lost a bet and ended up owing a lot of money, so I went into hiding and came to
this town. Someone mistook me for someone else, and I got in on a deal, and the
strange thing is, once Miles found out my con, he asked me to work for him.”

“You don’t talk or act like someone who grew up on the
streets.”

“I’m a quick learner,” he said.

“Yeah, but—”

“I started college when I was sixteen,” He said with a
groan, “Pre-law.”

“Shit,” I dropped my bottle of water and it rolled into the
bushes. I scurried to pick it up, but was startled when something moved under
the leaves next to it. I jumped back, and Kirk caught me before I stumbled and
fell into the lake.

“Not a country girl,” he said with a smirk.

“I visited my uncle’s farm… once. He had a bull and it
followed me around everywhere I went. Pretty freaky, if you ask me.”

He reached into the bush and plucked up the bottle, dusting
it off before handing it back to me.

“Thank you,” I said as he took me by the waist and led me
down the path. I leaned into him, resting my head against his shoulder. “Do you
think I’m pathetic?”

“Uh,” his pace slowed, “One, why would you care what I
think? And two, why would I think you’re pathetic?”

“Because you’re the only person I can ask who might give me
an honest answer, and I….” I shook my head.

“I think you’re stubborn and motivated by wanting to survive
and eventually find a way past this.”

I shivered in the cool shade as the breeze fluttered by,
picking up twigs and dead leaves left over from the previous year. “But….” I
couldn’t manage to find the right words—the ones that would help me focus on
how I was feeling without pissing Kirk off. “I feel like I shouldn’t be
enjoying it, or enjoying you. By doing that I’m….”

“You’re surviving. We want human interaction; we seek
pleasure—if we didn’t, this place wouldn’t exist.”

“I’d be okay with that.” The soreness between my legs hinted
otherwise. I may not have wanted to be a slave—on any level—but that orgasm
made me want more.

“So, you enjoy sex.”

I scoffed and shook my head.

“You don’t enjoy sex?” he asked slowly, tipping his head to
watch my face as I considered my answer.

“Well,” my tongue tripped awkwardly against my teeth. “It’s
never exactly felt like that before. Never even remotely close.”

I rubbed my face and started walking faster, hoping he’d
just drop the conversation, and knowing that there was no way in hell that he
would.

“You’ve had an orgasm before?”

“Yes,” I said forcefully. Although, since the two
experiences couldn’t compare—sex with my exes and out-of-my-mind sex with Kirk,
I actually began to doubt myself. And I certainly didn’t want to admit that to
Kirk. Then, I really would be pathetic. I somehow convinced myself that keeping
that to myself made me less pathetic and needy. “Why don’t you like playing
with the other slaves?”

Kirk growled. “I’ve already told you, I don’t like sharing.”

“But you could have found one of the others and claimed her
so you wouldn’t have to.”

“Honestly, they all want attention, but very few of them
want attention from only one person.”

“More people to buy them things?”

He nodded and laced his fingers through mine as we rounded
the back side of the lake.

“It’s more than that, though,” I said, knowing that I
bordered on pushing him again. “You don’t like being forceful with the girls.”

“You think I’d have to be forceful to get any one of them in
my bed?”

“Well, no, but maybe to keep them there and to keep them
from getting out of hand.”

“Believe me, Silver, you’re the most out of hand girl in
here—aside from Kat, but she’s never been a problem before.”

“Maybe that’s because she’s been a problem all along.”

Kirk gave me a sideways glance, and I chose to bite my
tongue before pushing the issue any further.

“You think she’s the head of the drug ring?”

“You think there’s a drug ring? I thought it was just one
guy selling to a few of the girls.”

Kirk stopped, crossed his arms, and glared down at me.

I scraped my thumbnail against the rivets of the bottle cap
in my hand. One minute, his eyes could make me want to jump him, and the next
they made me want to run away and find a snake hole to hide in.

Finally, he shook his head and took my hand again. “I’d tell
you not to say anything to anyone else, but—”

“You’re the only one who gets the brunt of my verbal
diarrhea.”

Kirk snorted, “Why do I have the feeling you’re going to get
us both in trouble?”

“If you really thought that, you’d kill me now.” I knew I
had to stop making snide remarks at everything he said, but as long as he
wasn’t completely blowing up about it, it was cathartic.

And for whatever reason—and whatever result—I was relieved
that he had loosened up and wasn’t threatening to beat or get rid of me at
every opportunity.

Good Day to Die

The soreness between my legs had doubled overnight, and I
thought about staying in bed. I heard the roar of the shower running on the
other side of the wall, which meant that it wasn’t quite time for breakfast.

I laughed to myself and buried my face in the pillow. I was
the slave, yet, aside from last night, Kirk was always the one waiting on me. I
rolled onto my back, stretching all of my muscles, and finding the soreness to
be surprisingly satisfying.

Trying to get back to sleep would be pointless, since my
mind would just continue to race as it always did, especially when I thought
too much about my circumstances. The more I let that happen, the more I wanted
to complain even though, I rationalized, in the big scheme of things I didn’t
have much to complain about.

I was taking on all of the traits in Alley that I swore I
never would. I was finding reasons to enjoy my time here, to rationalize, and
accept Kirk’s actions.

I decided I could accept how things were, or risk doing
something to set him off and get beaten again.

I put on my robe and walked across the living room to grab
my e-reader from Kirk’s desk, hoping that he remembered to download some new
reading material after I had gone to bed. A small card under the computer
caught my eye.

I told myself to leave it alone. There was nothing to be
gained from snooping on Kirk that would be worth the punishment I’d get if he
found out.

But the shower was still running.

I turned on the e-reader, hoping to distract myself long
enough for the curiosity to fade, but my gaze wandered back to the small card.
I slid it out from under the laptop and flipped it over.

“Oh my god,” I whispered, dropping the driver’s license to
the floor.

My driver’s license.

The bastard not only knew who I was, but where I lived and
probably much more, since he was usually the one digging into the background of
clients to find out all of their darkest secrets.

I stormed into the bathroom and pulled back the curtain.

“How long have you known who I am?”

Kirk shut off the water and stared down at me, water
dripping and gleaming on his body. A scene that a few minutes ago would have
sent me into a lust-fueled frenzy, now didn’t move me at all.

“You were snooping?”

“I picked up my e-reader off your desk. My driver’s license
was laying there.”

He rubbed the water off his face and ran his fingers through
his hair, squeezing out the excess water. His jaw twitched under the tension,
and I thought I’d collapse from his snarled gaze alone before he spoke. “It was
under my computer.”

“Not entirely.” My anger remained, by my conviction at
confronting him was quickly fading. “How long have you known?”

“Since the beginning,” he said. “Hand me a towel.”

I huffed, grabbed a towel off the rack, and chucked it at
his crotch. He caught it before it managed to hit anything, but that didn’t
mean he was any less pissed.

I was momentarily glad for the tub wall between us, even though
it was a minor obstacle.

“Silver.” He called my name as I stormed out of the room. I
paced the living room until he emerged, mostly dry, from the bathroom, wearing
the towel around his waist.

“Why?” I screamed.

“I had to make sure no one would come here looking for you.”

“So you’ve been spying on me so you could make sure and
crush any efforts to rescue me.”

“You’re not getting out alive. We already discussed that,
Silver.”

“Silver? You fucking—” I shook my head, looking for
something else to throw at him, but he caught my arms and pinned them to my
sides.

“Want me to call you by your real name?”

“No. You have no place in that life. I became Silver. I
became what you wanted. But they’re separate, you’re not supposed to know
anything about her. You said you didn’t even care what my name was.”

“Because I didn’t want to know.” His hands slowly slid away
from my wrists, allowing me to step back. “Miles got your license from Gabe. He
told me to check you out and make sure you wouldn’t be a danger to the organization.”

“What kind of danger would I be to this fortress? I’m just a
regular girl.”

Kirk folded his arms over his chest and I backed up, but he
caught my arm and pulled me closer. “I had to make sure you weren’t somehow
involved with everything going on. Then, I had to make sure that Gabe hadn’t
screwed up and left a trail for someone to find you here.”

“So, all along you knew my birthday was yesterday. And what,
were you planning that all along? Just trying to play me? Find out more
information?”

“No. Yesterday was exactly what you thought it was then. I
wanted you to have a nice day. I wanted to get to know you because I want to
trust you.”

“Don’t worry; I’m not here to bring down your fucking
retreat.”

“I know. If I had any doubts about that I sure as hell
wouldn’t have been giving you information yesterday. I wouldn’t have taken you
to the security room. I wouldn’t be standing up for you.”

His grasp on my arms tightened as he drew me closer. I could
smell his body wash, the soft woodsy scent that tugged at my gut. My body
loosened and he held me tighter, locking his arms around my back.

“Are people looking for me?”

“Silver, don’t. You’ll drive yourself crazy. You’ll get
yourself into trouble.”

I sucked back the tears, and let my body fall against his.
He combed his fingers through my hair and kissed my temple. “I’m sorry,” he
whispered, “I had to do my job.”

“And doing me is doing your job.”

“No, doing you is my new pastime. It’s much more enjoyable
than the job.”

I smiled. The jackass had a way of lightening my mood, and
whether I liked it or not, it made me hate him and the situation less.

“I have a meeting,” he said.

I started to push away, but he pulled me back, squeezing my
chest against his.

“It’s off site and I’ll be gone for a few hours.”

“So you’re sending me downstairs?”

“Up to you.”

“You can’t leave me chained to a bed all day.”

His lip twitched. “I didn’t plan to, but that was before.
You were here alone the other night.”

He took my face between his hands and pulled me to meet him.

“You’d leave me in the apartment for hours while you’re not
even in the building? Free to walk around and everything? What if Gabe comes
back?”

Kirk nodded. He squeezed my face between his palms and
pushed my hair away from my face. “That’s why there’s a lock on the door.”

“There’s an extra key.” I pointed out. “Everything he’s
already done, I don’t think it would be above him to go get it.”

“I’ll make sure he can’t. Are you okay staying here, or
not?”

“I’m pissed, but I’m not going anywhere or doing anything.
It’s not even like I could go back home now if I did escape. You probably know
everything about me and my family.” I grabbed his forearms. “And don’t explain
about how you had to do it. Can we just bury it so I don’t have to think about
it again?”

“How about some breakfast and post-breakfast sex to take
your mind off of it?”

“I don’t really get a choice in the matter, do I?”

“No,” he whispered with a smile that did all the wrong
things to me. Ironically, the more I fought, the easier it was for him to break
me and make me his.