Indulgence (365 page)

I wondered if he knew I was awake the entire time. I moaned
into the cushions. Then, I felt them both lift me, and help me back so that I
was sitting sideways on the couch. My hair fell down over the welts again.

“We really need to take care of that,” Kirk said. He stood,
leaving Miles to brace me and returned, handing Miles one of my hair ties. Kirk
sat in front of me while Miles twisted my hair up into a messy bun.

“This is irony,” I mumbled, turning to Miles as he moved
from behind me. “Alley?”

“She’s fine. She’ll have double laundry duty for a while,
but since you begged for her reprieve and we watched the tapes, we did as you
asked.”

“Thank you.”

Miles squeezed my arm then I heard his footsteps retreat
toward the door.

I leaned my head against the back of the couch, trying to
keep myself upright, careful not to let anything touch any of the welts that
stained my back. I imagined that it was red and oozing hot lava.

Kirk rubbed my cheek as he rose again, “Just for a little
while, Sweetie.”

The combination of words tugged at my chest. I didn’t want
him calling me “Sweetie.” And yet, my emotions battled over it. It either meant
he felt sorry for me or possibly that he didn’t hate me as much as I thought.
“Does that mean you’ll let me sleep on your lap again when we finish eating?”

“Is that what you want?” He handed me a paper plate then
flung open the pizza box lid. He dropped two steaming slices of pepperoni pizza
on my plate and I settled with my side against the back of the sofa.

I shrugged and winced as I bit off the tip of a slice.

“Here,” Kirk picked up a bottle of pills and handed me two
capsules. He dropped my water bottle on the couch between us. “It’ll help with
the swelling and pain.

The pain you caused
.

There wouldn’t have to be any pain, but Kirk was following
orders.

I was the one who broke the rules. I’d slowly break apart
every shred of my own sanity if something didn’t give.

Kirk had warned me that he was my only ally. He admitted
that he’d hurt me. Rape me. And he was the truthful one.

I promised that I’d do what he said if he protected me. I
begged him to keep me and not turn me over to the others. He’d kept his end of
the deal.

The criminal was better at keeping his word than I was.

I wondered what that said about me.

I also wondered what it meant that I was thinking about
giving in.

“How much did you overhear?” Kirk asked, watching me out of
the corner of his eye as he ate.

He knew that I had been awake. If I lied and said I only
heard the final bit, I’d be screwed if he already knew otherwise.

“I woke up when you told Miles ‘thanks’.” I glared down at
the snake on his arm—no doubt the inspiration for my nightmare. “I’m sorry,” I
whispered.

“Your back is going to need a while to heal. Then, we’ll
start over. You get a clean slate.”

“And if I screw up again?”

“When you do…,” he sighed. There was something different
about him. He looked exhausted. Sounded exhausted. “We’ll go from there.”

We finished eating in silence, and I’d scarfed down so much,
I felt like my stomach would explode, not such a good idea since all I wanted
to do was lay down and go back to sleep and I certainly couldn’t do that on my
back.

I laid against the back of the couch while Kirk cleaned up
the mess. When he was done, he sat next to me again, rubbing a thumb against my
jawline. “I know you’re a strong girl. I know that everything inside of you is
telling you to fight. I’m not telling you to ignore it, just to be smart about
it.”

“How? How am I supposed to use the urge to fight?”

“To stay alive. Sometimes that means not saying what you’re
thinking, and just doing what you’re told.”

“That’s not fighting.”

“You’re wrong. Sometimes the only way to win is to stay
alive and not break. If you keep fighting like you have been, you’ll break.”

“Maybe I have already.”

Kirk shook his head and put a pillow next to his legs. “You
haven’t.” He motioned for me to lay across his lap.

“I don’t need you to take care of me.”

“You don’t want me to take care of you. Believe it or not,
that’s what I’ve been doing since you got here. If I weren’t—”

“Don’t say it. I’ll…” I sighed. “I’ll keep my mouth shut.”

I crawled across his lap and dropped my head to the pillows
he’d laid out. As my body relaxed, stretching out my back again, I flinched in
pain.

“I can’t put any more pain ointment, yet.”

“I’m oka—” I grunted, then took a slow breath. “I’ll be okay
when it settles.”

He pulled the blanket up to cover me up to my waist.

“Don’t you have stuff to work on?”

“Yep, that’s exactly what I’m doing.” He rubbed my back
under the lowest of the welts, massaging down my hips and legs.

I took a deep breath and relaxed. At least in this position,
I stood no danger of rolling onto a welt. It also felt childish. Waiting on him
to take care of me, and soothe my wounds.

I didn’t fall asleep, but I lay there silently until the sun
set and the room darkened. I was at war with my own mind and body. I felt
completely alone with no one to talk to about my feelings, to ask if I was
really doing the right thing. I had to look inside myself for those answers,
and it terrified me.

Kirk sat quietly with me, rubbing my leg or patting my head
when I got particularly squirmy until the pain dulled again. But otherwise he
didn’t move, allowing me the use of his body for my comfort.

“Thank you, Master,” I whispered.

His fingers tightened on the back of my thigh.

“Thank you for bringing me back up here and sitting with
me.” I hated the words as I spoke them, not because they weren’t true. I truly
appreciated it. I hated them because of what they did to me. They made me his,
attached me to him in ways nothing else had.

My mind and soul were ready to admit that I needed him
—
that
on some level, I craved his attention, because it was all that I had. It’s all
that I would have.

I desperately needed to stop thinking. “How bad do you think
a shower would hurt?”

“How bad does moving hurt?”

“Too much.”

“Then, multiply that by ten.” He massaged just above my
tailbone and I moaned into the pillow. His hand continued in circular motions
down my ass, then each of my legs.

My body wanted his tenderness so badly that it was willing
to do anything he wanted to get it and my brain latched on to every pleasurable
sensation—no matter how small—just to get away from the pain. His hand got to
the end of my thigh and stopped.

I whimpered.

“You want a distraction?”

“No more pain.”

“I’ll be gentle.”

Gentle would ruin me. Crush up my insides like a used piece
of paper and toss me in the garbage ruin me. “Yes.”

He pushed down the blanket, allowing his fingers to graze
the inside of my naked thigh.

“Remember the kiss you gave me yesterday?”

“Yes.”
No, please don’t pollute my mind, too
. I
locked in on the memory, the feeling of him leaving me needy, wanting.

Wanting
. I repeated to myself.

I could taste his tongue on mine.

What the hell was my mind trying to do to me?

I tried to push it back, but his hand parted my legs, moving
up toward my hot core. I felt the cool air. His light touch.

I wanted to spur him on as much as I wanted to damn him.

A finger found my clit and rubbed it gently. Not enough. I
pressed against him—instantly embarrassed at my need. And at the rate that my
body tried to overthrow me.

My back burned as it arched, and Kirk took advantage of the
increased access to my folds. He pressed his fingers inside me, pressing down
against my tender flesh. He added another finger, stretching and filling me. My
hips rocked, wanting more. Wanting him on my clit.

He moved me slightly and slid his leg farther down my stomach
until his knee rested close to my pelvis.

So close.

I moaned. Moving my hips, wishing his knee was a little
closer.

“Good girl,” he said, dragging his fingers through my hair,
caressing and tickling my neck.

I inched up until his knee was close enough for me to rock
my hips and press my clit against it.

I moaned, using his body to push me closer to my pleasure.
The stinging pain in my back faded, replaced by pulsing in my veins, and
tingling nerves.

His fingers increased their pace and I inched closer.

My insides squeezed around his fingers, and he slowed,
leaving me momentarily balancing on the painful pinnacle. Just a little farther
before I fell. I rubbed into him but needed more.

He rubbed his fingers through my juices then inched closer
to my ass.

I moaned a protest, but a finger slipped back inside my
pussy and the sensations pushed me toward compliance. His thumb pressed at my
tight hole slowly moving inward.

The knot inside me wound tightly and burst as I tensed
around his thumb and fingers, still grinding against his knee as I spasmed and
moaned.

Kirk pulled the blanket up to my waist again as I panted and
came down from the orgasm. He readjusted his legs under me so that my stomach
was lying across his lap and I could relax my head on the pillows.

“How’s the pain?” he whispered.

I hummed into the pillow, exhaustion overcoming me. “I’m
good.”

“Ready to go to bed?”

“Do I get more distractions?”

“I think you’re high on endorphins.”

I pushed myself up and managed to sit with a little help. I
didn’t want to look him in the face, to face my carnal desires, but I lifted my
gaze. His blue-grey eyes met mine in the dusky room.

“You’re sleeping in my bed.”

“I’m not sure if you want me to argue or comply.”

He moved, his face stopping inches from mine until I could
feel his breath on my skin. “What do you want?”

“I want to be stubborn and say that I want my own bed, just
to irk you. But, all I really want is sleep in a soft bed.”

“You’re all trouble, Silver. For both of us.” His lips
brushed against mine, and I kissed him back.

Serpentine

My eyes opened in the quiet, dark room.

It was eerily quiet, and I pushed myself up, feeling a
strange weight on my gut. The weight shifted with my movements and I pulled
down the blanket.

A long coiled snake stared back at me.

“Not again,” I whispered. I froze and the snake lay back
down, relaxing against my skin.

I squeezed my eyes closed, and wished for the serpent to
disappear. The door opened, light filling the room.

I lifted my head.

Kirk.

He walked toward me, whip in hand.

“Please,” I whispered.

“Quiet, Silver.”

“No,” I was terrified to move. Terrified of what would
happen if he startled the snake. “You don’t understand.”

“I said quiet,” he growled. He knelt next to me, his
fingers tangling in my hair. “I thought humans learned long ago to never trust
a serpent.”

He flipped my covers back, the snake was gone.

His hand slipped between my legs and rubbed my mound. I
was already wet and wanting for him.

Ruin.

I pushed him back and my back erupted in splintering
pain.

Kirk pulled me off the floor and dropped me to his bed.

“Remember,” he whispered, rubbing his hips against me. He
kissed my neck, nipping and sucking at my skin all the way down to my collar
bone.

I moaned and pushed against him.

He palmed my breast. Pinching and twisting at my nipple
until all of my nerves betrayed me, joining in his bitter and swirling
symphony.

My body was his, under his command.

He traced a finger down to my belly button, leaving a
trail of goosebumps and tingles in its wake.

Testing the connection, I pushed his hand away and
screamed again in agony as the pain returned.

It’s a dream,
I told myself. Even my mind was turning
against me. Training me to be his. Pulling me into his dark fantasy.

My resistance only gave him the opportunity to break me
open and douse me with his venom. It burned through my veins, clouded my mind,
and twisted all of my nerves until my body screamed for him. His cock rubbed at
my entrance, and I fisted the sheets under me, arching my back.

Fighting meant pain. Giving in meant exquisite release.

I needed his touch. I needed him to fill me.

Nothing else mattered anymore.

Then the world shattered and I woke in my old home. Under
the window, the sunlight danced off the small collection of snow globes.

Home. I pulled open the curtains, taking in the light of
freedom until a cloud moved over the sun, and the scenery darkened. A man in a
suit stood about a hundred feet away then turned toward the window.

Ross.

I retreated into the bathroom to escape his view, but
that window was also wide open.

I could feel the eyes on me even if I couldn’t see them.
I covered the window and slammed the door shut, trying to lock it, but the door
was slightly too small for the frame, and the lock wouldn’t catch.

I heard footsteps, then Kirk calling for me. I sat in
front of the door, trying to keep it closed, but he pushed it open a few
inches. Enough for a snake to slither inside.

“No,” I screamed, jumping away from the door and into the
bath tub.

The door swung open, but there was no one there. It was
just me and the snake.