Indulgence (206 page)

I was aware of hot, large hands kneading the flesh of my
thighs and ass. My eyes flickered open and it was almost entirely dark as I
felt hot moisture gliding up my spine to my neck and then he started sucking on
my neck. I turned slightly to give him better access and he bit down.

“Feels good.” I was not coherent enough to speak properly, I
could only feel. Oh God could I feel.

I was still on my stomach as he hovered over my back. His
hands were positioned on both sides of my head, keeping his weight from pinning
me entirely, and I realized that I
wanted
his entire weight pinning me.
Reading my thoughts, he gently laid on top of me and I spread my legs, moaning
at the feel of his hard cock pressed against my ass. He was not dressed
anymore, wholly naked.

“I want you, Cassidy,” he whispered in my ear and I shivered
from head to toe.

“I need you, James.” He growled in my ear before pulling my
lobe between his teeth. “Please, I need to feel you and nothing else. Make it
all go away.”

He moved down lower between my legs and I lifted my hips to
give him access. His hand traveled between my legs, moving down to cup my
mound. He pressed his fingers to my pubic bone then ran them across my labia,
easily slipping a finger inside.

“You’re already wet for me.” He pulled his hand away and a
second later I felt his head at my entrance. I couldn’t wait any longer.

“James!” It was a plea for him to take me.

He crashed into me at that moment and we were both left
pulsing and panting before he began thrusting over and over again. I tossed my
pillow to the side and grabbed the headboard in front of me. After several
minutes of him hammering into me, he stilled and resumed biting and sucking on
my shoulders. His hand moved over and down my side until it slid between me and
the bed. Finding my clit, he started circling it.

“Cassidy…”

He started moving in and out again while applying pressure
to my clit. “Please, James.”

“What is it? Tell me what you want.” He continued stroking
me inside and out.

“Harder, I need you harder.” Ramming into my backside over
and over again I panted, “Oh, yes. Like that.”

He placed his free hand between my shoulder blades and now I
truly felt the weight of him on me. My breasts were pressed against the sheets,
almost painfully so, and I couldn’t move. My hips jumped and my clit pressed
harder into his hand.

“You’re so close, baby.”

He was as out of breath as I felt. My knuckles were white as
I gripped the headboard tighter and the spiral began. My toes were tingling and
my belly was tensing.

I was aware that I was holding my breath when he bellowed,
“Dammit, Cassidy, breathe!”

I took in a massive breath trying to get back under control,
“James I’m going…”

“Me, too.”

His thrusts become jerkier and soon I felt him shooting his
seed into me as he changed direction against my clit. It was the final straw
and my orgasm took over. My eyes saw white as the reverberations of my orgasm
shot through my limbs, my grip on the headboard slackened and my hips relaxed.

He started to move out and off of me when I begged, “Please
stay. I want to feel you like this just a little longer.” Dropping down onto
his forearms, his breath was hot and heavy on my neck, and I smiled. “You, I
just want to feel you.”

“Anything for you, Blackbird.”

I wasn’t sure how much time had passed but I felt myself
drifting off. “What time is it?”

“Who cares? Got somewhere to be?” We both chuckled as he
rolled to his side and pulled me to his chest while kissing me. Kissing slowly
and deeply for a long time, we explored each other’s mouths before going back
to sleep.

Wounds

~ CASSIDY ~

I woke in the morning to the familiar
whir thump whir
thump
of the treadmill. I rolled over and grabbed his pillow, drowning my
senses in his smell. I remembered our lovemaking from the middle of the night
and smiled. I never thought sex could be so good and I loved what he did to me
and with so little direction. I love everything about him. I love him.

I love him?

No, it was too soon. I was crazy. It was just sex. Fucking
hot, amazeballs sex. Nothing more. I knew
that
wasn’t true. I
loved
him? I pondered that and recounted every single memory with him, the good and
the bad. I struggled to process it all. I had only felt this way about one
other person and that was so long ago.

“Morning, beautiful. What are you thinking about?”

My eyes darted to the doorway where he was standing—no,
where he was posing. He was wiping his face with a towel only wearing his
shorts and running shoes.

“You.”

“What about me?” He crossed his arms and stared at me
intently.

“That’s for me to know and you to wonder.” I got up on my
elbows grinning from ear to ear.
I loved him. I did.
Fucking hell.

He sauntered over to the bed only like he could. He was
considering his next move and so was I. He pounced first and started tickling
me.

“You’re going to tell me right now what you’re thinking
about, lady.”

“James, agh. Stop.” I was laughing uncontrollably, knowing I
was a shit liar. “Please, I have to pee!”

Stopping his attack, he kissed my nose before releasing me.
I scampered off the bed and he smacked my ass before I ran to the bathroom.
After I was finished, I cranked on the shower as he walked in. I stepped into
the shower once the water was warm enough and he followed behind me. He
gathered my hair, pulling it over my shoulder and I felt him freeze. He spun me
around to face him and started examining me.

“What are you doing?” He was touching a spot on my hip, and
as I followed his gaze I noticed a faint bruise on my hip.

“Does it hurt?” I shook my head and he stood back up and
turned me away from him again. “What about here?”

I felt his fingers caressing the spot on my upper back,
where he held me down last night. “No.” He kissed the spot before I turned to
face him.

“I’m too rough with you.”

“We’ve discussed this, I’m fine. I’ll let you know if you’re
too rough.” He smiled down at me. “I really enjoyed last night, especially when
you were holding me down. I love the weight of your body on mine. Makes me feel
safe, free, loved.”

I realized what I had said and abruptly turned to grab the
shampoo. I started lathering my hair as he did the same to his. “So, you like
being immobile while I’m having my way with you?”

Blushing I confessed, “I do. Don’t tell anyone, they might
get the wrong idea.”

“I don’t kiss and tell, Miss Charles.” He winked at me and
we finished our shower.

We went down to the kitchen and I pulled out two cereal
bowls and spoons. He was grinning from ear to ear with one eyebrow raised as I
moved to the pantry and pulled out my favorite cereal.

“Cocoa Puffs? Really?”

I shrugged my shoulders. “Guilty pleasure. You want some or
not?”

We finished our bowls of cereal and I put our dishes in the
sink, and then sat back down at the table next to him.

“We need to talk.” His tone was foreboding. “I have a
meeting with Annie and Smith this afternoon if you’d like to come. I’d like to
be honest with them about everything. I need you to fill in the gaps and what
really happened.” He reached across the table and took my hand in his.

I felt my throat getting tight, “I haven’t talked about this
in so long. Holly didn’t even know the details.” Pulling me to my feet, he
guided me to the couch.

“What can I do to make it easier? I’m trying to protect you,
but I need to know what I’m up against.”

“I know. Umm, I’m not sure where to start.”

“Wherever you want. Take your time.”

“Alright.”

With a deep breath and a heavy heart, I began my story.

“It was the summer before eighth grade. I was taller than
most and awkward, so awkward. I played sports and had lots of friends or at
least I thought I did. Mom wasn’t around much that summer. We didn’t know why
back then, but we do now. It was a Saturday night and school was starting in
just over a week. Dad, Cal and I were sitting around the living room coffee
table eating pizza and playing board games.

“Mom got home early that night. I should’ve known something
was wrong because she was drunk. She started arguing with Dad, so Cal and I
went to our rooms like we normally did. I fell asleep listening to my radio.

“Sometime in the middle of the night, I woke to voices. I
opened my door and peered down the hall. Mom and Dad were screaming at each
other, again. Normally I would’ve gone back to my room, but I’d had enough of
my mother’s drunken tirades.

“Mom was shouting at Dad about how she was done and she was
leaving him for someone else. Cal was standing a few feet away looking shell
shocked and Dad didn’t seem to care. I think he knew their marriage was over
long before we did. Something inside me broke. I grabbed the closest thing to
me, an encyclopedia, and launched it at my mom.

“Before Cal and Dad could react, she lunged at me and
started smacking and clawing at me repeatedly. She said cruel and hateful
things to me while Dad pulled her off of me and Cal was holding me back; I
returned her fire.

“I started screaming at her, ‘I hate you. I
want
you
to leave. We don’t need you. This is all
your
fault.’ I was sobbing as I
hurled my anger at her.

“Everything grew silent, and in the distance you could hear
the sound of police sirens. Mom heard them before we did and she grabbed her
keys and ran out the door. Cal started to go after her but Dad stopped him.

“Two squad cars pulled up right after Mom pulled out. One
car followed her while the officer in the first car came to the door. He said
that one of the neighbors reported a disturbance. My dad gave him a rundown and
then I noticed the cop looking at me.

‘What happened to her?’

“Cal and Dad both looked at me and Dad rushed to me, pulled
a handkerchief out of his pocket and dabbed at my face. I was unaware at the
time, but I had a bloody nose, split lip and a few scratches on my chest and
upper arms.

“The cop started questioning Dad about my cuts and Cal and I
immediately told him that it was Mom, not Dad. They believed us. The cop
returned outside where Dad and him talked some more. I went to the bathroom and
tried to clean up my cuts with Cal’s assistance.

“We were sitting on the couch almost an hour later when an
officer came back into the house and motioned Dad over. Dad walked away from
the officer and fell into a chair at the kitchen table and Cal grabbed my hand.
Dad told us, with the assistance of the cop, that Mom’s car went off the
Reynolds Bridge.

“I broke the silence, ’Is she ok?’ I didn’t understand why
we weren’t heading to the hospital. The cop told us she was gone, that she
didn’t make it. I don’t remember anything else from that night. I woke the next
morning in my bed and soon realized it wasn’t a nightmare.”

~ JAMES ~

She was in a whole other world while the details fell off
her tongue like she had told the story over and over again. I didn’t dare
interrupt in fear she might have shut down. We were sitting on the couch, her
at one end and me in the middle, and she was revealing what had happened over
the next couple days.

Cops, family, the funeral, reporters, the list went on and
on. She mentioned that they found out her mother was having an affair with the
Mayor, Brent Calhoun, and that apparently the affair had been going on all
summer. The papers also made this information public knowledge since Mayor
Calhoun was up for reelection and later lost.

“Oh, God. I remembered something else. No, that’s not
possible.”

“What is it, Cassidy?” She started hyperventilating and I
pulled her to me, trying to calm her down.

“Mom and Dad were arguing and I think I remember her saying
something about a baby.” Pulling back she looked to me, “Why would she be
talking about a baby?”

This was horrendous. “Cassidy, was your mom pregnant?” She
looked utterly confused and started shaking her head.

“There’s no way, I mean, I don’t know, she was drunk. Why
would she drink if she was pregnant?” She bolted off the couch and grabbed her
cell before I could stop her.

“Cal, was Mom pregnant?” She wasn’t waiting long for her
answer. She dropped the phone and sank to her knees. I was at her side in a
second, picking up the phone.

“Cal, I’m here with her. Yes, I’ll keep you posted. Alright,
later.”

Setting the phone down on the counter before pulling her
into my arms, I carried her to the couch and didn’t press her for any more
details. She’d been through enough for one day, for one lifetime.

She was quiet for a long time, just sitting in my lap like a
ragdoll. I began imagining how life must’ve been for her after her mother’s
death and the scandal surrounding it all. I wasn’t sure how much time had
passed when she got up and began doing mundane chores around the house.

“Cassidy?” I wasn’t sure what to say or ask, but I knew she
was pulling away from me and shutting herself down. She’d had a shock and
needed to talk about it.

“Hmm?” She wouldn’t look at me and started sorting laundry.

“Is there anything you need, anything I can do? Please don’t
shut me out.”

“There’s nothing to do. It doesn’t change anything except
maybe the image of my mother. I just wish it all had stayed dead and buried.”

It was all my fault; if she hadn’t been with
me
she
wouldn’t have been in the limelight like she was. I had to get to the bottom of
it all, I owed her that much. “I have to run some errands. Are you going to be
alright?”