In the Shadows (The Blaisdell Chronicles) (7 page)

“He’s a customer at the coffee house,” I provided.

Satisfied, she nodded. I turned my attention back to Derek. “What’s going on here?”

Derek glanced over his papers. “I’m acting as Mr Craven’s solicitor.”

The words were out before I could think. “Don’t you work at your office?”

Alex looked away, as Derek went on. “Usually yes, but unfortunately Mr Craven had to come here, as we had no other appointments this week.”

“I’m paying extra for the privilege,” added Alex. “We’re going through my father’s will.”

“Will?”

“
My father died a few months ago.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.” I inwardly cursed my stupidity. Why else would they be looking at a will?

“I want to start my own business and decided to purchase somewhere in town. A gym, perhaps,” Alex continued, before turning his attention to Derek. “But there are a few things we need to iron out first.”

Derek puffed out his chest. “I’m the best solicitor in Briggstow, Mr Craven. I’ll get you the result you want.”

“What do you think, Lucy?” asked Alex, studying me with a serious gaze. “Will I get what I want?”

I couldn’t help but think he wasn’t referring to his case. I stammered a reply. “D-Derek’s a good solicitor. I’m sure he will do his best.”

I felt Alex’s stare burning into my back, as I quickly slipped upstairs and closed my bedroom door behind me, loosening the top buttons on my blouse, hoping I’d feel a little better. I wanted to relax, but Alex was in my house and Nathan was only across the street. I sat on the window seat, thoughts weighing heavy on my mind. Why was everything so complicated? Alex had an almost angelic look about him, with his blonde hair and cute smile, whilst Nathan’s hair was dark and he proved he could be quite aloof. I’d seen what Jonathan was capable of. My hands nervously cradled my neck, fingers slipping under my lilac satin scarf. I was about to draw the curtains to finish undressing, when there was a knock on the door. Alex didn’t wait for a reply and walked in.

“What are you doing here?” My face brightened and my fingers fumbled with redoing my buttons.

“I told Derek you left something at work. Naturally, I wanted to return it to you.”

He assessed the room quietly, his presence making the room feel sticky and alive. He was the only male who’d been in here apart from Derek.

“Don’t worry, Lucy. He was working for me before we met.”

“Oh,” I nodded, absorbing his words. The circumstances must have been coincidental, after all. 

“Derek said you turned seventeen last month. Perhaps I should buy you a present.”

“
There really is no need,” I said in a rush, before taking a moment to control my voice. “You said that I’d left something?”

The corner of his lips twisted into a small smile. He sat beside me, his hands in front, as if considering what to do with them. Surrendering, he took my hand, rubbing the back of it with his thumb. My heart stuttered in my chest, and once again, I was left confused. His short blonde hair had been carefully spiked
with hair gel, and I could detect a hint of cologne. Somehow, I was drawn closer.

“
Thi
s
,” he whispered.

Just before our lips met, I suddenly realised we were right by the window. Anyone
outside could look up and see us. A passer-by?
Nathan?

A car alarm sounded. We checked the window, and saw Alex’s Mazda flashing its indicators. Alex swore and rushed out. A few moments later, I looked out
of the window to see Alex checking his car, and soon the alarm stopped. He glared towards Nathan’s house, and there he was, standing in the living room window, watching. Derek appeared behind Alex, waving papers, but Alex quickly jumped into his car and sped off into the night.

After dinner, I marched across the street, too annoyed to remember to wear a coat against the biting winter chill. My knuckles rapped quickly on Nathan’s front door, and he answered on the third knock.

“What’s going on, Nathan? Did you make Alex’s car alarm go off?”

“I did,” he answered, with no remorse.

I expected him to deny it but now I was puzzled why he did it. “How could you?”

“You mean you
wanted
to kiss him?” he said, incredulously.

I was about to say no, but he’d gotten me riled. I lifted my chin in defiance. “That’s none of your business.”

Nathan just stared at me, standing stonily.

“You hate him.”

His eyes went to the sky for a few moments, and I could swear he was counting under his breath. He didn’t even try to deny it.

“But I don’t understand—”

“Remember the advice I gave you that night? It would be in your best interest to adhere to it.”

I shouldn’t be afraid of Nathan, but Alex? He’d never given me any reason not to trust him.

I spoke cautiously. “Are you.
.
.jealou
s
?”

He veiled his expression and turned away. “Jealousy has nothing to do with it. I only want to protect you.”

Somewhere within, I understood he spoke the truth. I could imagine Jonathan raising his sword to defend me. But then there was Nathan; and I wondered how far he’d go?

His body tensed, frustrated with everything, frustrated with himself. My hand touched his arm and he relaxed. He gazed down at me, with such intensity, that I awaited the response to unfreeze me. Instead, he surprised me by choosing to place his hand near my cheek, unsure if he should make the contact or not. When he finally succumbed, the feelings were different. No dizziness, no memories from the war, just heat flooding through my veins, banishing the cold night air. He closed his eyes, long fingers brushing over my flushed cheeks, then on my lips, sending electric pulses right down to my toes. I gasped, although I regretted it right after, as his eyes opened and he stepped away.

“Nathan?”

“I-
I’m sorry.”

I didn’t know for certain, but just for a second, I thought he wanted to kiss me. But now, he frowned, as if I had imagined it.

“Forgive me,” he whispered, turning away.

“Nathan? What is it?”

“I need to go,” he replied, refusing to meet my gaze. As he began to head inside, I stretched out in front of him. His head lowered, his long fringe covering his eyes.

“Tell me what’s wrong. Please?”

But when I reached my hand towards his face, he snapped his head back.

“Stop it!” he replied, his tone commanding and authoritative. “This ends now!”

“I know there’s something going on with you and Alex. Can’t we talk about it?”

He faced me, full of anger and pain. “If you won’t listen to me, there’s nothing I can do about it.”

“Please—”

“I won’t do this anymore!”

And with that, he slammed the door behind himself so loudly it made my heart jump into my throat.

“Nathan,” I whispered. “Don’t leave me. Not again...”

The music plays, guests line up and prepare for the dance. I watch with interest, as the women in elegant gowns and powdered wigs hold up their masks, their free hand meeting their partner’s. The gentlemen wear masks too. Some are dressed as pirates, soldiers, a handful are Greek gods. Remembering my orders from earlier, I sigh. I rise from my seated position, and slowly move around the edge of the ballroom, keeping my mask up, trying to glimpse into the holes in the gentlemen’s masks. Irritation washes over me, when I realise how difficult this will be. Surely the Earl of Sulis will make himself known to me somehow? He has an advantage over me, for I am the only lady not wearing a powdered wig or oversized hat. Instead, a small tiara sits on top of my unfashionably long hair, with cream and yellow ribbons adorning it, matching the colours within my gown, along with the fairy wings on my back.

The music ends, and after a light applause, the crowd disperse into their small groups. But one gentleman
in a grey jacket and matching breeches strides away from the others, choosing to remain alone, hiding under the shadow behind a tall plant. He wants to be inconspicuous. Perhaps it is he? I edge closer, sliding under the darkness.

“My lord, do not keep me in suspense. Pray, tell me. Are you the Earl of Sulis?”

His voice is dark, and I almost give myself away when his hand reaches for mine, turning me to face him, ensuring we both remain in the shadows. I sigh, as he presses a gentle kiss to the back of my hand.

“My lady, I am not the Earl of Sulis. He is with your father.”

I see he is right. Across the room, my father sits in his usual chair, with a gentleman in dark breeches, Hessian boots, a loose linen shirt and a pirate hat. The gentleman lowers his mask to whisper something in my father’s ear, making him almost choke on his wine with laughter. I try squinting to see him more closely, but too quickly his mask covers his face again.

I look back towards the gentleman I’m with, his head turned towards mine. I grow accustomed to the darkness, and when he
briefly lowers his mask, I feel a smile creep across my cheek. My hand reaches for his face of its own volition, my skin tingling upon impact. His mouth hangs open, his breathing static, as I run my fingers down his neck and rests my hand over his chest, which only makes his lips meet, as he tries to reign in his breathing.

“My lady—”

“Hush now. It’s too crowded here. Let us seek some privacy.”

“I can’t
, my lady. Your reputation—”

“Please, sir.
Just for a few minutes.”

He catches my expression, the darkness only making him appear more dangerous, yet I know he wouldn’t harm anyone. Sliding me behind him, we move ourselves along the walls, pausing briefly. His hand releases mine, and I hear a door handle quietly groan. His body tenses, but nobody notices. The music starts, and they are already dancing again, including the Earl of Sulis. Jonathan slips out, pulling me behind him. The halls are dark, but Jonathan seems to know where he is taking me. When he opens the last door, a blast of cool air hits my face. It is a welcome relief from the heat inside the ballroom. The sound of the water rushing from the fountain makes me aware we’re in the gardens. He leads me down the stone steps, and we pause briefly, as if we both know the consequences of discovery. We overhear giggles from other couples trysting in the shadows, too busy to notice us.

We stop by the entrance to the garden maze. The moonlight only offers hints of light against the blackness of the night, making our surroundings eerie. I listen to the water and look at Jonathan, remembering where I am.

“My lady, this is wrong—”

“Yet you brought me here. Do not think me naive.”

A few moments pass before he speaks again.

“I wish to thank you, for the kind words you offered at our last meeting.” He hesitates. “Did you...mean them?”

“I’m not in the habit of telling untruths.”

I lean upwards, my hand smoothing the contours of his face, beckoning him closer. His warm breath meets mine, just inches from each other, and I stop.

“Let’s play a game, Mr
Macey.”

“A...game?” he asks huskily, quickly clearing his throat.

“I bet I can reach the centre of the maze before you can catch me. But you must allow a lady a ten second head start. Ready? Now!”

Before he can question me, I dash into the maze, giggling as I make my way around the hedges. My heart beats a tattoo against my ribs, which quickens when his counting ends. I slow down and creep around another bend, trying not to make a sound. I stop, trying to listen for him, but all I can hear is the fountain, now more distant. Believing he’s lost, I look around, only to shriek when his arms clamp around me.

“I caught you, fair and square. You’re mine, now.”

Happiness takes over my heart. I calm my breathing, the excitement still brewing inside. “I surrender.”

“Good, because I’m here to collect my prize.”

“But we haven’t decided—”

His hands rest on my hips; at the same time his mouth claims mine. My arms wrap around his neck, pulling him closer. Everything around us seems to disappear. It is almost as if nothing else matters. I gasp when his tongue enters my mouth, welcoming the heat rushing through my body. I surrender my fears and lose myself in him.

I could still feel his warmth when I woke the next morning. Jonathan was capable of caring, and such wonderful kisses. Surely he still existed in Nathan. He had to; else I could never rely on my own judgment again.

I finished dressing in my work clothes and sat in front of my mirror to brush my hair. I closed my eyes and touched my lips, trying to rekindle his kiss. I dreamed of Nathan, but his aloofness made the image almost impossible. Soon, my mirror image began to change like it had at work. Waiting with baited breath, I saw myself transform to the same young woman from
the past.
My
past.

Forcing
myself to breathe again, I suddenly had the feeling I wasn’t myself anymore.

Her eyes were pleading, as if she willed me to know something. But what was it?

“Lucy! Are you up there?” came Mum’s voice from downstairs. I turned over my shoulder and called back.

“Yes, I won’t be long!” I hollered.

“Well, hurry up! I need you!”

Ignoring her, I returned to the mirror, only to find the girl fading back into my own reflection.

I came downstairs for breakfast, finding Mum in her gym clothes. She was frantically putting on her coat and looking about for something. As I entered the kitchen, I couldn’t help but find myself looking into the glass door on the oven, wondering if I’d see her again. But it was my own puzzled expression that reflected back.

“Oh, there you are, Lucy. I thought you’d never come down. Have you seen my keys
? I’m running late for my yoga class.”

“Have you tried the back pocket of your handbag?” I said, distracted. Was I going crazy, after all?

The jingling of keys made me look up. Relief swept Mum’s face.

“Thanks, pet. Could you drop Derek’s sandwiches off at his work? He forgot them this morning.”

I looked up from my cereal. “I’ll be late myself.”

But the door had already closed.

The
Evans Solicitors offices were inside a listed Georgian building, just a couple of streets from Whitmore’s Coffee House. Being so close, Derek had suggested meeting during my lunch breaks, but once again I’d pushed away his attempts to make a connection. I never thought I’d be the one standing outside his work, trying to find him. A dark patch at the side stole my attention. It started at the upstairs window, a huge black area, which snaked its way down the building, fading into grey at the bottom beside a tall tree with wide branches. I closed my eyes, the sounds of nearby cars fading, and saw horses pulling carriages along the cobbled street, stopping outside the building. A man in a red overcoat emerged from the building, aided the guests out and escorted them into the throng of the ball.

I walked inside,
slowly taking in my surroundings. Despite the modern settee in the waiting area and the iMac on the receptionist’s desk, many things were the same. The original marbled flooring; the tall, hatched windows; the soaring ceilings and their painted cherubs, thin veils covering their nether regions. A chandelier hung above the receptionist, a bony middle-aged woman wearing spectacles.

“Can you tell me where Mr Derek
Evans is please?” I asked.

The woman’s brow furrowed
. “I’m afraid Mr Evans has a meeting scheduled in five minutes.”

I held up the sandwiches. “I won’t be long.”

The phone rang again, so
with a nod, pointed upstairs and answered it.

I made small steps upstairs, the touch on the bannister making my surroundings spin and flicker. Maids ran up and down, and one even walked right through me. I paused at the top of the stairs, seeing a long, brass framed mirror on the wall. A portrait of a man and woman in a field on a summer’s day replaced it. The man was on his knees, ruining his breeches, whilst holding the woman’s hand, looking on adoringly. Their faces were too small to see clearly,
and with the tears and fading, it was obvious the painting hadn’t been taken care of. However it was difficult to mistake the small bump protruding from the woman’s belly. As I moved closer, the mirror had returned. I wasn’t sure which way to go. I took a guess and went right. Sconces were lined along the walls, candles flickering brightly in each, but they faded into empty holes instead. My skin began to prickle and the door at the far end held me in a trance, coaxing me. I held out my hand, but a male voice made me turn back.

Derek was baffled. “
Lucy? What are you doing here?”

Feeling the sandwiches still in my hand, I met his gaze. “
I was trying to find you, but I didn’t know which room was yours.”

He looked over the sandwiches, the foil crinkling
in his hand. “You brought these for me?”

I shrugged. “You left them. Mum wanted me to drop them off.”

“I don’t know what to say. It’s not like you to...”

My feet shifted uncomfortably. I
had
acted like a brat around him. I wanted Mum to myself; worried that any other guy would hurt her like Roger had. It wasn’t his fault I hated father figures. But Derek had already proved himself, sticking around after I’d given him a hard time, especially in the beginning when I’d lock myself in my room, going on hunger protests, adamant I wouldn’t eat with Derek around. And here I was, making this small gesture and Derek was grinning from ear to ear. He thanked me and with a brief, embarrassing pat on the shoulder, went back into his office. Realising the time, I ran back down the corridor, about to descend the stairs, but bumped into someone. I was ready to apologise, but the person instantly grabbed my arms, holding me back. I was ready to protest, but hesitated when I saw his eyes.

“Nathan.”

“What are you doing here?” he demanded.

I realised he hadn’t loosened his grip. He pulled me back upstairs, ushering me
round a corner, behind a tall fern in a ceramic pot. My eyes hovered over my arm. It didn’t hurt, but his hold was firm. “Let me go.”

As if he’d been in a trance, he frowned at what he’d been doing, and released me.

“You’re meant to be at work,” he hissed, taking care to keep his voice low.

“I’m on my way now. What are you doing here anyway?”

He frowned, as if confused by my question.

“Were you...following me?”

He scoffed. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

“You were, weren’t you?”

His lips thinned, nostrils flaring. “Not everything is about you, Lucy.”

I almost cursed. “You know, I’m fed up with your half explanations and vague answers. I don’t see why I should listen to you, anyway.”

He clenched his jaw. Perhaps I should try another approach. Forcing myself to remain calm, I cupped his chin. His face was clouded with worry.

“Why are you really hanging around?”

I pressed my hands on his chest, feeling his heart pounding dramatically. He studied me with a serious gaze. I was hypnotised by his eyes, the soft cadence of his voice and the memory of what had happened outside the masquerade ball. Once again, I caught that familiar scent. Sandalwood, just like the soap Jonathan always used. His lips partially opened, his breathing became ragged. My eyes closed to reach for a kiss, desperate to re-experience my pleasure in the maze.

A feminine voice disturbed us. “Mr Harlow? Mr
Evans is ready to see you now.”

Mr
Evans. Derek?

I opened my eyes and saw Nathan already following the receptionist across the landing.
He didn’t look back. The warmth disappeared like a candle being extinguished. I wanted to hang around and find out why Nathan was meeting my stepfather. But I knew I’d already wasted too much time here and had to get to work. I
would
find out what was going on, though.