In Blood and Worth Loving 3 Kiss Cover (23 page)

He sighed.
“
There are things about myself that I can
’
t change. I need you to understand that.
”

“
I do, but I need you to understand how much I love you! I didn
’
t endure what he did to me just so I could lose you to a quest for vengeance. I endured it without calling out to you because I valued your life more than I valued trying to stop what he was doing to me. I
’
m just asking you to value my happiness and peace of mind more than you value your need to kill him.
”

“I made a sacrifice for you. Please make one for me.”
She stared up at him.
“
Is that too much to ask?
”

“
What kind of male would allow another to get away with what he did to you?
”

“
The kind
of man
who value
s
his woman more
than he does
anything else
.
I know you
’
d die for me.
”

“
Damn right I would.
”

“
But will you live for me? Can you live for me, Conner?
”

He closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against hers.
“
I don
’
t know.
”

“
What do you think I would gain if you killed him and then the Brotherhood killed you? How in your worldview would I be better off with you dead? At least this way, I can feel as if it happened for a reason. With you dead I would have endured it for nothing.
”

“
You shouldn
’
t have endured it! You couldn
’
t possibly have thought I
’
d want you to put my needs ahead of your safety.
”

“
Couldn
’
t I? Why not? Aren
’
t you putting your need for revenge ahead of my need to have you alive?
”

He clenched his teeth. Why the hell couldn
’
t she make more of an effort to understand?
“
I cannot let him get away with hurting you.
”

“
Can
’
t or won
’
t? Whose needs are you thinking about, Conner? Mine would not be served by your death!
”

Only a human woman could make a full-blood feel selfish for wanting to avenge her rape. A fem would understand.
Too bad you never met a fem you could fall in blood or even in love with.

She sighed.
“
Please. I need some time with you.
”

He struggled to contain his anger at her refusal to even try to understand his point of view. Maybe given enough time alone with her he could make her understand how impossible it was for him or any full-blood worth the name to allow such an insult to go unpunished.
“
If you can get away from work, we can go to the cabin,
”
he said of the luxury cabin he and his brothers owned in the Pocono Mountains.

“
I can ask but I
’
m sure I
’
ll get turned down.
”

“
Then resign.
”

She shook her head.
“
And end up jobless?
”

He shrugged.
“
It
’
s not like you have to work, Desiree.
”

“
Yes, it is. I work because I have to.
”

“
You work because you want to. I have a lot of money and I
’
ll happily share it with you. Resign and let me take care of you.
”

She pulled away from him.
“
For how long? Until you get yourself killed? And then what will I do? Go begging to Adrian or Jay?
”

“
No begging would be necessary. Both would happily make sure you were provided for financially. However, that wouldn
’
t be necessary since I
’
ve already made arrangements to ensure you
’
re financially secure. No matter what happens to me, you won
’
t have to worry about money again.
”

She shook her head.
“
Money is nice, but it
’
s you I want, Conner. I
’
d happily live penniless with you in a cardboard box over a steam vent.
”

He smiled.
“
Lucky for you, I don
’
t plan to test th
e veracity of th
at statement.
”

She laughed but soberly quickly.
“
I mean it, Conner. If I had nothing but your love, I
’
d have everything I needed to be happy and content with my life.
”

He inhaled slowly. He believed her and her words touched him deeply.
“
Come to the cabin with me and we
’
ll try to come up with a solution we can both live with.
”

“
When?
”

“
Now. Today. Pack a bag for a few weeks. I
’
ll do the same and we
’
ll stop by to get Partner and Hope loaded into a trailer and we
’
ll spend the next few weeks getting
reacquainted
.
”

“
I hate the thought of leaving my boss shorthanded. Asking for several weeks off without prior notice will definitely get me fired.
”

“
Even if he knew what happened?
”

“
I don
’
t want him to know what happened.
”

“
You have no reason to be ashamed of what happened and if you want to report it to the police, we
’
ll do that.
”

She shook her head.
“
I know I have no reason to be ashamed…
”

“
But you are?
”

She sighed and then nodded.
“
A little
;
even though I know it doesn
’
t make any damned sense.
”

“
Then we
’
ll handle things ourselves. Okay?
”

“
Okay. So I
’
m definitely going to end up fired because I
’
m going with you.
”

“
If you feel the need later, you can get another job.
”

“
After I
’
ve been fired?
”

“
Yes. After you
’
ve been fired. If Sin or Seb don
’
t have room for you in their firm, they have friends who will. If you want to work later, you can. Or you can join Cayenne in law school, but that
’
s something we
’
ll work out later. Right now it
’
s all about you.
G
o dress and pack.
”

“
I need to call
Cay
and tell her about this myself.
”

“
Okay. I
’
ll be ready when you
a
re
.
”

She kissed him and
left him alone
.

He
called Adrian
and told him she’d been raped
.

“
Oh fuck! Shit! This is my fault. I shouldn’t have left her alone.
I
should have been there
to protect her
–
”

“
I
’
m the one who should have been here and I
’
m the one
who
’
s
going to kill him.
”

“
Of course you are, but there
’
s no need to do it now when he
’
ll be expecting it.
”

“
What? You agree with her?
”

“
No. I know you
’
re going to kill him. I just don
’
t think it has to be now.
”

Adrian
’
s words annoyed Conner and reminded him that of the unknown secret he had shared with Sin-Bad but kept from him.
“
I wonder if you
’
d feel the same way if it were Brandi who had been raped.
”
The moment he spoke in anger, he wished the words unsaid.

There was a long silence before Adrian responded in a low voice filled with rage.
“
Be very careful what you say or suggest, Conner. You sound as if you were wishing rape on Brandi who had no part in Desi getting hurt.
”

“
I know that and I didn
’
t mean to imply I
’
d ever want Brandi hurt,
”
he said quickly.
“
I love her. You know that.
”

“
All I know is that you seem to resent the fact that I
’
m happy with Brandi, Conner. I would never have expected you to be so petty.
”

Adrian
’
s word stung. He responded angrily.
“
And I would never have expected you to keep secrets from me that you
’
ve shared with Sin-Bad!
”

Adrian swore in their native tongue.
“
This is so beneath you, Conner. Yes, there
’
s something I haven
’
t yet shared with you that I did share with Sin-Bad, but that
’
s only because I didn
’
t want to pile on when you
’
re so down. How can you really think I have a single dam
n
ed negative motive towards you? In case you
’
ve forgotten, that would be self-destructive because you are and always will be the better part of me. I
’
d sooner cut off an arm than do anything to intentionally hurt you.
”

He sighed.
“
I know that.
”

“
Do you really, Conner?
”

“
Yes. I do.
”

“
To answer your question, I
’
d feel the same way you do if it were Brandi who was raped. I
’
d want to rip his putrid heart out and shred it ASAP, but that wouldn
’
t mean I shouldn
’
t bow to cooler heads. If you remember when I wanted to kill Brandi
’
s ex, you were the voice of reason for me.

“
I know you
’
re thinking that I
’
ve lost my nerve and am trying to talk you out of impulsive action because I
’
m afraid. And that
’
s partly right but my fear isn
’
t for myself or my own life.
”

“
Then what the fuck is it for, Adrian? What
’
s making you afraid?
”

“
It
’
s Brandi.
”

“
What about her?
”

“
This is not a good time to start a war because she
’
s…you and Jay are going to be uncles and I
’
m finally going to be a father.
”