Imperative: Volume 1, A Tale of Pride and Prejudice (148 page)

“He is waiting to strike!”

“No, he was concerned.  He kept that drawing.  He was here at the time of the accident . . .  I will not forgive him for leaving you to suffer alone, I will certainly not forgive him for seducing and kidnapping my sister, regardless of his feelings of remorse and explanations of love that might tug at her heartstrings, they do not affect mine.  As he says, I am finding a good home for his child, I am going to find a husband for my sister should she choose to marry, I am taking on the task of protecting her that he as a husband should do.  In my opinion, he had his opportunity to profit from me when he did not marry her in truth.  It is not my fault that he gave up his chance.”

Elizabeth’s mouth had opened while she listened.  “I . . . I am stunned.”

“Why?”  He smiled tiredly.  “I am calling his bluff.  It is something absolutely unexpected and I am sure that he will be amazed.  I am not going to put good money after bad, love.  Ruining my sister’s name will not get him any closer to her dowry.  Why would I marry him to her if he spreads tales?  Seriously, if he was married to her, he should be afraid to close his eyes at night, especially living under my roof as he proposes.  So, he will know that the game is over and to move on.  If he cares for her, he will.  I am not feeding the addict his drug of choice anymore.” 

“Oh.”  Elizabeth settled into his arms and placed her ear over his steadily beating heart.  “You are not angry?”

“Of course I am.  I am just not going to waste my time on him any longer.  I have more than enough to occupy me.”  He kissed her hair and closed his eyes.  “If this had been last autumn, when we had just found her . . . yes, I would have paid for his silence.  Not now.”

“Why?  What has changed?”

“I have you.”

“What did I do?”  She looked up at him.

“You made me a better man.”  He kissed her softly.  “It is not Wickham who I fear for her love, it is everyone else in the world who do not care about the woman they hurt, only the delight of the gossip and the pleasure of the kill.   Those are the people we are protecting her from.  I despise him, but I do not fear him.  I am disappointed and angry with my sister, but I cannot live in the past.  There just is not time anymore.” 

Elizabeth breathed a sigh of relief and held him tightly.  “I was so afraid to tell you this.” 

“I know.  You were not crying over Jane and Charles.”  He smiled against her hair.  “You were speaking happy words but there was trepidation in your eyes.  I can see your soul when you give me your eyes.” 

“And you say that you cannot read my mind!”

“Well I
can
read emotion, but I cannot read your thoughts!”  Darcy laughed and kissed her.  “I could offer to buy him a commission in the militia.”

“Better yet, in the Horse Guards under Richard!” 

He sat up and squeezed her hand.  “Ahh, that would do him right!  Shall we go compose the letter now?”  

“No.”  Elizabeth wiped the tears that suddenly appeared.  “No, we have a bath waiting for us.”  They stood and Darcy produced his handkerchief for her.  “You have taught me how to order my priorities.” 

Darcy kissed her damp cheeks and smiled.  “And what better priority is there than relaxing in a bath?”

“TRAVELLING TO SCOTLAND in March.  At least wait for April for it to warm a bit more, and then the ladies can see the bluebells while the master does his fishing . . . although when the master last went fishing is a distant memory to me . . .”  Mrs. Reynolds muttered as she supervised the kitchen maids packing up a basket of food and cider for the trip.  “Put in some ale for Mr. Darcy.”

“Do not tell me my business! I know what the master prefers!”  Mrs. Johns declared. 

Evans appeared at the door.  “Are the baskets ready?  The carriages are loaded.  They are going to want to depart soon . . .”

“If you two would leave me alone, everything would be fine!  Now shoo!”   Wielding a wooden spoon the cook chased them out and returned to her staff.  “What are you looking at!  Careful with Mrs. Darcy’s shortbread . . . oh, let me do it!”

Mrs. Reynolds went up the stairs with Evans and stood in the foyer, looking up at the great staircase and back to Darcy’s closed study door.  “I do not understand this journey, they only just arrived home two weeks ago!  You can tell that none of them wish to go.  Why are they going?  Is not Pemberley enough?”

“I do not know Mrs. Reynolds, but I pray that the journey is peaceful.”  He sighed and spoke in a soothing voice.  “We will be sure to hear from Parker that they arrived safely.  Beginning a trip in late spring or early summer would make more sense . . .”

“Precisely!”  Mrs. Reynolds worried her ring of keys until the jangling echoed through the cavernous foyer.  “And a honeymoon with Miss Darcy along . . . they are hardly newlyweds!  Mrs. Darcy does
not
need a chaperone!”

“
My
hope is that the honeymoon is fruitful.”  Evans sniffed and rocked on his heels with his hands clasped behind his back.  “Well, perhaps they will find that they are confined to the house by the weather.  One good surprise snowstorm . . .”

“Oh, Mr. Evans!”  Mrs. Reynolds beamed.  “Oh my!  I had not thought of that!”  Both servants stopped talking when Samuel appeared from Darcy’s study, and closed the door behind him.  He smiled at them and seeing Georgiana appearing at the top of the stairs, hurried up to her when she slipped and grabbed the banister. 

“Careful!”  Samuel caught Georgiana and steadied her.  “Here, hold onto me.  We cannot have you falling, can we?”

“Thank you.”  She gripped his arm tightly.  “I do not know what has happened to me, I feel so clumsy.” 

“What will you do without me to catch you these next few months?  Poor William will have his hands full with two women hanging onto him.” 

“I will be fine, I am sure.”  She said nervously.

“Of course you will, and I will come up to visit you.”

She brightened, “You will?  When?”

Surprised, he smiled, “I . . . I do not know, when Mr. Mayfield can be persuaded to let me go.  I am not a man of leisure, after all.  I am a lowly clerk earning his way up to being the man in charge one day.”  His brow creased and he nudged her when her expression changed.  “Are you well, Georgiana?”

“I was just thinking how admirable it was that you are willing to work so hard, just like Fitzwilliam does.  Some men just expect things to be handed to them.  They are kind and loving, but they cannot see beyond their own wishes.  They feel entitled when they . . .”  She looked down and then back up at him.  “I am sorry.  I am rambling.”

“You did nothing wrong.”  He said quietly.

“Yes, I did.  You have told me so.”  She met his eyes and then looked back down, seeking a change of subject, “Did any ladies propose to you?”  His mouth opened and closed and she smiled as he imitated a fish.  “It was leap year a few days ago . . .”

“Oh.”  Laughing, he shook his head.  “No, no, the ladies stayed away in droves.  One day I hope to be worthy of . . .  someone.  But I am too young to be of interest to any lady.”

“How old do you have to be?”

“Hmm. I was thinking . . . three or four years?  Does that meet your approval?” 

“You would be five and twenty?” 

He nodded, “About that, I suppose whenever I am free from my service to Mr. Mayfield would be the proper time.  I will have a home, a good income . . .  Why this interest in my prospects?   Have you a match for me and you are feeling me out for her?”  He winked.  “That will satisfy your brother since he is certain that I am sweet on your sister.”

“Samuel!”

“Well then, tell me!”

“I do not know, I guess that I just . . . I do not know.”  She blushed and he smiled.  “I seem to say a lot of nonsensical things of late.  I just was wondering about how . . . proper men go about . . . marriage and things.  I was too mad at Fitzwilliam to really pay attention to him searching for a wife, and then I was still mad when he sent me . . . when I went on my holiday . . . and then I was not present to see him fall in love with Elizabeth so I . . . I do not know what . . . what a real courtship looks like, and . . .”   She glanced up at him and back down.  “I guess that I am . . . finally feeling the weight of my mistakes now more than ever.  Packing up my things . . . knowing why I am going away and what lengths my brother and Elizabeth have gone to . . . all because of me.”  She breathed out a long sigh. 

Samuel looked around and saw that the servants had retreated, and spoke softly, “Everything will be fine, Georgiana.  I know that you are scared.”

Relief for his understanding flooded her face.  “I am.  I hate having to leave home and be somewhere strange.   And poor Fitzwilliam, he has been working so hard the last days trying to accomplish so many things.  And Elizabeth is sick with worry . . . All because of me.”  She wiped her eyes and barely whispered, “My lady’s maid, Jennifer, lost her last position when her mistress died in childbirth.” 

“That does not mean it will happen to you.”  He squeezed her hand hard. 

“It happened to my mother.  And Aunt told me what will come.”  Samuel had nothing he could say to that, and just kept a tight hold of her hand.  “I am sorry; I should not be talking to a man about these things.” 

“I am just glad that you are talking now.”  Samuel smiled and kissed her cheek.  “Even if it does touch on subjects that make me squirm and I do not know what to say.”  Georgiana laughed a little and he lifted his chin towards the top of the stairs.  “There is Mother hugging Elizabeth.  You know that once she is down the stairs she will be rousting William from the study.”

Elizabeth closed her eyes as Susan held her.  “Everything will be well, dear.” 

“I hope so.”  She whispered.  “Fitzwilliam and I are so nervous.”

“But you are finally on your way.  You have talked and worried about this day for months.  I predict that once you leave Pemberley behind you will feel better.”

“Thank you for everything you have done for us, both you and Uncle Harding.  Is he feeling better do you think?”

“It is hard to say, I think that he has come to a decision about the burden he carries.  And I think that he has decided not to share it with me.” 

“Will you try to convince him otherwise?”

“No.”  She let go and smoothed Elizabeth’s hair.  “I pick my battles, dear.”

“I pick them all.  Maybe that is why I cannot sleep.”  She laughed softly and looked around the beautiful foyer.  “Well . . . I think that we should go.  Let’s find our husbands.”   Holding hands the two women started down the stairs.

“Are you certain of this course with Wickham?”  Judge Darcy watched his nephew pour out a small glass of port.   “You will not meet his demands?”

“I have thought about it too much, Uncle.  If he was serious about marriage, why would he hide his true location?  He is afraid to be found.  I have no doubt that he is in London, and if I pay, it will confirm the pregnancy.  There is no way he could know of it when my staff does not even know.  He is fishing.”

“Have you forgiven him?”

“Lord, no.”  Darcy said grimly.  “If I ever see him again . . . I will not say that he will die, but he will certainly feel the force of my displeasure.  What you or Richard do with him is entirely up to you.  As long as he stays away and keeps quiet, I will leave it alone.”

“I do not know what to say.  I pray that your instincts are correct.” 

“I grew up with him Uncle, I see the change in him.”  Opening up a folded page, he handed it to his uncle.

His brow furrowed and he looked at Darcy quizzically.  “All it contains are your initials.”  

“I am telling him that I received his note, and that he is receiving nothing in return.  And I used my initials because who knows what he would try to do with my signature.”  Smiling, he took the paper back and lighting a red wax stick; he dripped a puddle onto the page and pressed the Darcy seal firmly into the molten bead.  Lifting it, he nodded.  “Done.”

Judge Darcy focussed on the cooling seal.  “I hope so.” 

“Knowing Wickham, he will write and try to renegotiate.  He always reaches for the sky with his first request.  We will see.”  Darcy watched his uncle’s troubled eyes.  “Sir, I . . . I know that this has been indescribably difficult for us . . .”

“Fitzwilliam . . . what I can remember of it is torturous.  I am ashamed of my behaviour towards you, towards Elizabeth, towards my entire family.  A lifetime will not make up for the pain I have inflicted upon all of you because of my behaviour, and I have sworn to never burden any of you with the fruits of my . . . sickness again.” 

“Sir, if you are referring to your weakness to laudanum and the effects it has upon you, I do understand.” He smiled a little as his uncle stared into his eyes.  “As for the rest, I think that all of us were quite mad for a time over the past months, with good reason.” 

Judge Darcy closed his eyes.  “You are a good man, Fitzwilliam.” 

“So are you.  Thank you for helping with the estate in my absence.”

“Riding around and looking over farms is hardly taxing.”  He sighed.

“It is important.”  Darcy heard a soft knock at the door and looked up to see Elizabeth appear with Susan.  “Well, it seems that it is time.”  The men stood.  Judge Darcy held out his hand when Darcy came around the desk and Samuel and Georgiana joined the family party.

“I pray that it is a success, Son.  Godspeed.”  Darcy shook his hand and then clasped him in a short embrace. 

Elizabeth hugged him briefly and stepped away to take Darcy’s hand.  “I hope that you will all come to visit us.”

Samuel laughed and looked down to Georgiana.  “Oh, I suppose.  If you promise to limit your conversation to the roads and the weather.” 

“And everyone’s health?”  Susan asked. 

“Always a fascinating subject at Longbourn.”  Elizabeth laughed.

“I can hear your mother now.”  Darcy said dryly.

“Oh Fitzwilliam, why did you say that?  Now I have her voice in my head!”  She gave his thick coat an ineffective pinch while everyone laughed. 

“And what is she saying, love?”  His eyes twinkled.  “Something about ten thousand a year?”