I'm Just Here for the Food (16 page)

THE SPUTNIK PARADIGM

When contemplating whether or not to roast a piece of meat, look at the shape. Does it remind you of: a. log; b. doormat; or c. Sputnik?

Okay, any of the above can be roasted, but should they be?

Because of its uniform surface shape and consistent surface-to-mass ratio, the log could be turned on a rotisserie over a grill, or simply rolled across the grill grate. If it’s a tender piece of meat it could be cut into medallions and grilled, broiled, or seared. Still, it’s a fine roast shape.

The doormat presents all of its surface area in two opposing planes, a physical fact that makes me think sear, grill, or broil—not roast. Flank steaks and flounder filets are rarely roasted.

Sputniks include any food whose shape is irregular and has a low surface-to-mass ratio compared to the log or the doormat. A chicken is a Sputnik, so is a sweet potato or a pork butt (which is actually a shoulder). These foods scream “roast” for no other reason than you can’t really get a thermal grip on them any other way unless you drop them in a deep fryer, which isn’t a bad idea except that most of us don’t have Fry-o-laters built into our counter-tops (hey, we can’t all be Emeril).

FOR THE BIRDS

As much as I dig the even heat of the stack-o’-bricks oven, I came to realize that even a freak like me doesn’t want to stack bricks every time a chicken crosses the kitchen. And if I didn’t mind the masonry, there was still the preheat time to be reckoned with: more than an hour depending on the available firepower.

What I needed was brick oven “lite,” an easy-to-handle vessel that would absorb and evenly distribute heat to the bird. Clearly, it was time for a visit to the gardener’s supply store.

I landed a 10-inch-wide heavy-duty Italian terra-cotta pot with a flared mouth; when inverted it looked like an earthen cloche. I also picked up a saucer of the same make, large enough so that the mouth of the pot fit neatly inside it. I put these into a cold oven and cranked the heat to full throttle: 550° F. I figured that oven and pot would both be at full heat within 20 minutes.
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I removed a broiler/fryer chicken (2½ to 3½ pounds) from the fridge and countered it on a clean plate.
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When I knew the oven and the pot within had reached their thermal potential, I rubbed the chicken down with a bit of canola oil and sprinkled it with lots of kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper.
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I very carefully placed the dressed chicken onto the very hot saucer and covered it with the equally hot pot. I chucked this back in the oven and, assuming that there was enough heat stored in the terra-cotta to do the job, turned the oven off and left everything alone for 45 minutes. (See illustration.)

When I removed my inner oven, it was still two-towel hot, but when I stuck a toweled finger into the drain hole (how convenient) and withdrew the dome I found myself facing a fragrant and deliciously done yet pallid piece of poultry. Hmm. Obviously a kilo of terra-cotta wouldn’t hold as much heat as ten kilos of firebricks. The next time, I left the oven at 550° F for the first 20 minutes of cooking, then killed it until my probe thermometer (I ran the probe wire through the drain hole) chimed 170° F. Perfect. Brown and crusty all over, juicy and flavorful inside. Decidedly superior to a standard oven-roasted bird.

You’re in an airplane that’s just landed. The flight’s over, and yet there’s that voice on the PA telling you that the FAA requires that you remain in your seat with your seat belt fastened until the aircraft has come to a complete stop at the gate. You may be on the ground, but technically the flight is not over. Same thing with a roast. Just because it’s out of the oven doesn’t mean that the cooking’s over—it isn’t. The roast has to coast to its final temperature. Besides, you cut into that hunk now, and juice is going to fly everywhere. Resting gives the heat and pressure inside the meat time to subside, and that allows the juices locked inside to be absorbed back into the meat tissues. So unless your roast has spent half an hour on the counter in heavy-duty foil, leave your seat belt on. (If you like your meats well done, you don’t really need to rest them. The muscle fibers are toast and can’t possibly hold any moisture at all. It’s ruined.)

Roast Turkey

Why start with a higher temperature? Poultry skin turns brown because it sautés in the thin layer of fat beneath it. If you start the bird at a low temperature, a lot of this fat will simply melt and run away. Starting with high heat gives you a deep brown bird, while the lower finish delivers moist, evenly cooked meat.

Application: Roasting

To brine the turkey: dissolve the salt, sugar, and juice concentrate in 1 quart of hot water. Cool the solution with 3 quarts of cold water. Remove the giblets (and any other foreign matter) from the turkey interior and place in the cooler. Pour in the brine mixture to cover. If the bird is not completely submerged, add more liquid. (Since I don’t want to weaken the solution, I use canned chicken broth.)

Cover with ice, close the lid, and soak the turkey for 6 to 8 hours. (Exact soak times will vary per your taste. Start with 6 hours and make changes to subsequent birds.)

When the bird has ½ hour left to soak, move the oven rack to the lowest level and preheat the oven to 500° F. Remove the turkey from the brine and pat dry with paper towels. Rub the turkey liberally with canola oil. (Be sure to get all the nooks and crannies around the wings.) Discard the brine and thoroughly wash the cooler. Place the turkey on a roasting rack inside 2 disposable aluminum roasting pans.

Roast at 500° F for ½ hour. Remove the bird from the oven and reduce the oven temperature to 350° F.

Cover the turkey breast with a double layer of heavy-duty aluminum foil folded into a triangle. Insert a probe thermometer into the thickest part of the breast (push it right through the foil) and set the thermometer to 161° F. A 16- to 18-pound bird should arrive at the target temperature in 2 to 2½ hours. Remove the turkey from the oven, cover the bird and the pan loosely with aluminum foil, and allow to rest for 15 minutes before carving.

Yield: 10 to 12 servings

Software:

For the brine:
1½ cups kosher salt
½ cup dark brown sugar
One 6-ounce container of frozen
orange juice concentrate
1 gallon water
One 16- to 18-pound turkey
1 gallon of ice cubes
Canola oil

Hardware:

1 large pot
1 large cooler with lid
Paper towels
Roasting rack
2 disposable aluminum roasting pans
Heavy-duty aluminum foil
Probe thermometer

TURKEY RULES

Stuffing is evil. Traditional stuffings soak up meat juices, meaning a potential for the presence of salmonella unless the temperature of the stuffing reaches 165° F. That increases the cooking time of the turkey, which means dry meat. If you cannot live without stuffing, cook it in a casserole dish then spoon it into the cavity prior to serving.

Basting is evil. Skin is waterproof, so flavor and moisture will not soak through it. Besides, you have to open the door to baste, which lets heat out of the oven. That increases the cooking time of the turkey, which means dry meat—so don’t do it.

Dry-Aged Standing Rib Roast

Application: Roasting

To dry-age the roast: Place a refrigerator thermometer at the back of the bottom shelf of your refrigerator. Reduce the temperature to just below 38° F. Cover the bottom of a roasting pan with several layers of paper towels. Place the roast, bone side down, on the towels, and store—uncovered—at the back of the bottom shelf of your refrigerator. Allow the meat to age for 3 to 5 days, checking the refrigerator temperature often.

When you’re ready to roast, let the meat sit out of the refrigerator for 1 hour until it reaches room temperature. Preheat the oven to 250° F for ½ hour. If you’re planing to roast in an unglazed terra-cotta vessel, place it in the oven while it’s still cold and heat at 250° F for 45 minutes to 1 hour.

Rub the roast with just enough canola oil to make it shine, then rub with the salt and pepper. Place the meat in a shallow roasting pan, bone side down (to prevent the meat from sitting in liquid). Insert the probe of your thermometer into the center of the roast and set for 118° F. Place the roast in the oven and reduce the temperature to 200° F.

When the meat has reached 118° F (about 4 hours), remove the roast and cover lightly with foil. Raise the oven temperature to 500° F. When the oven reaches 500° F, let it heat for another 15 minutes, then return the roast to the oven until the desired degree of crust is achieved, about 10 to 15 minutes. Transfer the roast to a cutting board and cover with foil until ready to serve.

Place the roasting pan with its accumulated juices on the cook-top over medium heat and deglaze the pan with 1 cup of water. Allow the liquid to come to a boil, scraping occasionally until any bits stuck to the pan are freed. Add the wine and then transfer the liquid to a gravy separator. Allow five minutes for separation of fat from juice and then pour the liquid (but not the fat) back into the pan. Add the leek and return to a simmer. Stir in the garlic butter and serve over lovely, red slabs of goodness.

Yield: 10 servings

Software:

One 4-bone-in standing rib roast,
preferably from the loin end (for
its higher meat-to-bone ratio)
Canola oil
2 tablespoons kosher salt
1 tablespoon coarsely ground
black pepper
1 cup water
1 cup red wine
¼ cup thinly sliced leek
1 to 2 tablespoons garlic butter or
unsalted butter

Hardware:

Refrigerator thermometer
Roasting pan or unglazed
terra-cotta vessel with lid
Paper towels
Probe thermometer
Heavy-duty aluminum foil
Gravy separator
terra-cotta vessel with lid
Heavy-duty aluminum foil
Gravy separator

A Perfect Baked Potato

This application provides a crisp crust and a tender interior. If you feel the need for speed, you can start the potato in the microwave. Let it cook on high for 9 to 12 minutes, but then finish it in the oven.

Application: Roasting

Preheat oven to 350° F.

Wash the potato with a vegetable brush and dry with paper towels. With the fork, poke holes all over the potato surface. This will allow steam inside the potato to release as it heats, which will result in a great fluffy texture. Pour a small amount of canola oil into a bowl, add the potato and turn until the entire surface is lightly coated with the oil. This not only makes for a slightly crunchy skin, because the oil can get so much hotter than the water inside the potato, it will regulate the moisture. Sprinkle the potato skin with the kosher salt.

Place the potato directly on the rack in the center of the oven. A medium-size russet should be fully cooked in about 1 hour. To check for doneness, give the potato a squeeze (wearing fireproof gloves). If the skin feels kind of crunchy but the meat inside is soft, it’s time to eat.

Yield: 1 perfect baked potato

Software:

1 medium-size high-starch potato
(russet or Idaho)
Canola oil
Kosher salt

Hardware:

Vegetable brush
Paper towels
Fork
Small bowl
Fireproof gloves

Meatloaf

There are a million ways to make meatloaf (another roasted dish that we call “baked”), and I’m not about to say that this is the only way. You can play around with the seasonings all day, you can even trade off some chuck for round. However, I do strongly suggest that you pick out a nice roast at your market, take it to the meat counter, and ask the butcher to grind it for you.