I'm Holding On (12 page)

Ian

It’s been almost three days since I’ve seen Brynlee, and it’s killing me. She was supposed to text me last night and didn’t, but she apologized earlier and asked me to pick her up at six, so here I am, knocking on her door.

She opens it, and
a glowing grin spreads across her face. Her arms wrap around my neck, and I breathe her in.

“I missed you,” she says.

“God, I missed you, too.” I hug her a little tighter. “Are you ready to check out my house? I thought we could take something there to eat.”

“That would be great. I’m still
tired, so it’ll be nice to relax.”

I hold her hand on the way
and can hardly wait to kiss her and touch her. “It’s a little embarrassing, but my house isn’t furnished yet, so bear with me. I need to spend a day in a furniture store.”

“Where do you live?”

“Arlington Heights.”

She swiftly
looks over at me. “I love that neighborhood. It’s established and close to so many cool places. I like how the homes are unique and older. I pictured you in a more modern place. You know, a bachelor pad.”

“I can see why you’d think that, but I like the history of the area and the uniqueness, as well. I
wanted a place I could stay a lot of years.”

We stroll
inside, and I see the look of awe on her face. My home is on a steep hill, and she knows to go to the wide row of windows across the back.

“You have a breathtaking
view of the city and mountains far away,” she says excitedly.

I wrap my arms around her waist from behind and chuckle. Then I catch a whiff of her intoxicating smell. I can’t help but move her hair out of t
he way and run my nose up her neck. She tilts her head for me. Even better.

M
y lips brush along her warm skin until I’m licking her ear. She jumps and turns around in my arms. I gaze down at her but only for a few seconds before my tongue is in her mouth.

Like the first time I ki
ssed her, lightning strikes, and I’m instantly hard. Brynlee’s no longer just a want but a need. For once, I don’t have the control. Why did she have to know Drew?

I circle my fingers on her back underneath her shirt. Her skin is the softest texture to my touch, and I imagine her body like silk sheets, sliding underneath me, rubbing all the right places.

I let her lips go before I ignite.

“Brynlee,
I can’t believe I’m saying this already, but this could possibly be your place. I find myself dreaming of giving you everything. You’ve never even hinted about being interested in my money, which I love, but I want to spend it on you.”

I hold a section of her hair and tw
irl it around my finger. “My grandparents left me a hefty trust, and I’ll be working very soon. You wouldn’t want for anything. I’d never try to bribe you, but it’s important you know how your life would be with me.

“
You wouldn’t have to work, but if you love what you do, then you’d be able to have your bakery without the worries of how you’d pay for it.” She turns her head away from me, so I take hold of her chin and pull it back. “Talk to me. What did I say that’s making you uncomfortable?”

“
I’m used to taking care of myself. I don’t want to depend on someone else. Our worlds are very different, too. We haven’t talked about our families. Maybe I’ve avoided it on purpose.”

“
I’m not trying to take away your independence, Brynlee. It’s one of the things I admire about you. Let’s eat and talk about it. Maybe it’ll ease your mind.”

She smiles
warmly at me before hugging me hard.

“I don’t see how another woman hasn’t stolen
your heart, and I know you’ve had plenty of women to pick from.” She giggles against my chest.

“There’s that laugh I love. They weren’t you, sweet girl.”

Brynlee

Ian is trying hard to sweep me off my feet, and he’s doing an excellent job at it. I can’t deny that while standing in this house, I picture a future with him. One that’s lively and joyful.

This would be a
safe, comforting home to raise children in. Children who would get the best education and want for nothing. I don’t hold material possessions at high value, but what a relief it would be not to struggle so much.

That’s the part of life wearing me down, especially since I lost my home and all
that was familiar when Gram became sick.

“Bryn, I see you’re in deep thought.” He looks at me while we eat our tak
e out Italian food. He has a kitchen table and chairs, but so far, I haven’t seen any other furniture.

“
I was thinking about the future. Um, are we sitting in these chairs all evening?” I give him a grin, needing to lighten the mood and get my mind off the more serious issues.

“You’re making fun of me, so maybe I need to take your sweet ass to the furniture store with me. This place needs a woman’s touch, and I seriously might die if I have to take my mother.”

I picture that scene and giggle hard.

“Keep on laughing. I’m going to make you meet the
lady soon, and then you’ll empathize with me.”

My fork freezes
right before entering my mouth.

“Are you joking?”

“No, I’m not joking.”

“You already want me to meet your parents?”

“I can’t say I’d do it already if we were dating like a normal couple, but you know Drew’s parents, so it seems like we should see what you think of mine.”

I shove the
bite of lasagna in my mouth, so I have a few seconds to gather my thoughts. I guess it makes sense to meet them soon.

H
e’s being forced to move this along quickly, and I wonder if he’s really OK with that. I choke down my bite of food.

“Ian, do you
worry you’re being rushed into dating me? Regardless of the fact that I know Drew better, this should only progress at a pace you’re comfortable with.

“
I wouldn’t want you to bail later because it happened too fast for you to recognize your true feelings for me. I’m not the only one that has a decision to make, and you’re not the only one who could get hurt.”

Ian reaches across the table and takes hold of my hand.
“I’ve told you that you’re almost all I can think about, so I’m constantly evaluating how I feel about you. So far, everything has felt right.

“
Of course, I’m still taken aback over the effect you’ve had on me in such a short amount of time but it’s a thrill. You get me excited, Brynlee.” Oh, shit. He’s giving me that look again. “Are you finished eating?” he asks.

“Yes.”

“I’m sorry, but the only other furniture I have in this house is a bed. We can lie in it and talk about our crazy families. Well, mine is crazy, anyway.”

“You’re not sorry,” I say, giggling.

He hangs his head. “You see right through me.” Taking my hand, he pulls me up from my chair.

He looks
sexy today in his black cargo shorts and white t-shirt. His blonde hair is perfectly cut, and those green eyes glow like always. I can’t imagine how handsome he’ll look at work when he’s wearing a suit.

Ian

I didn’t expect Brynlee to be this coo
perative about lying in my bed. She’s trusting me more, but I have to be careful not to scare her away. She’s across from me, and we’re both on our sides, our faces inches apart.

“Tell me about your family,” she says.

“My parents are sixty years old. I have an older brother, Isaac, who’s thirty and works at our father’s firm. He’s engaged to Blair. Her parents are friends with mine, and I’ve come to the opinion that Isaac and Blair’s sole purpose in life is to build a William’s dynasty.”

“
So, they want power?”

“Isaac wants success, power and money. B
lair wants money and more money to buy whatever the hell she wants.”

Brynlee’s quiet, and I imagine
she’s thinking about how she’s nothing like them. I’m glad she’s not. “I want the success and money, but I don’t care about the power. I want the wealth so that I can live comfortably and do all the exciting things I’d like to do in life.”

“
Our families are nothing alike. I don’t even know if I can call mine a family. There’s only my great-grandmother and me.”

“How’s that?”

“I never knew my dad. When I was eleven, my mother and I lived with my grandma. My mom asked my great-grandmother, who I call Gram, to watch me overnight, so my mom and grandma could go out with friends for drinks.

“They died that night in our home from carbon monoxide poisoning. They never woke up, and I should’ve been there, too.
My mom didn’t have siblings, so if I have other family through my father, I don’t know them. Gram raised me from then on.”

The last time I shed a tear was when my grandfather died, but I
feel my eyes watering as Brynlee’s fill with tears. They drop onto her cheeks, and I wipe them away.

“I’m
so sorry. I had no idea you’d suffered that kind of loss. My family drives me nuts sometimes, but I’m glad I have each of them in my life.”

“
I miss them so much, but I’ve adjusted to the life I was dealt, so don’t feel sorry for me. About a year and a half ago, I had to move out of the house I was raised in so it could be sold.

“
Gram was too sick for me to care for and had to go into a skilled nursing facility. Everything had to be auctioned to pay for her care. I lucked out and met Andrea then.

“
She let me move in, and that wasn’t long after I finished college and started my business at Clark’s. I don’t know how I juggled everything the last two years, but I’ve managed.”

I take hold of her hand. I
had no idea she was this alone or this strong. No wonder she’s close to Drew. I imagine she’d latch onto any friend she could find. He can give her a descent life financially, but I can give her a better one.

“For having done without, it’s surprising how uninterested you are in money
.”

“
I’ll admit that I’d like some to take away a few big worries but not for much else. I’m used to having few things, so I don’t feel I need a lot. Don’t feel sorry for me. I survived, and I’m stronger because of my past.”

She’s the most am
azing woman. It doesn’t matter whether my family approves of Brynlee or not, but I believe they’ll love her if they give her a chance.

I capture her lip
s and pull her curvy body to me. I was dying before to kiss her, but now I have to.

Brynlee

I dreaded telling Ian about my upbringing after hearing about his, but he was very understanding. When I met him, I wondered if he’d be a snob, but he doesn’t make me feel beneath him in any way. I get the impression his family may not be as open minded.

H
e’s kissing me again, and it’s causing my body to tingle all over. I told myself to be careful with him tonight, but then I end up in his bed. I might as well have jumped into a lion’s den. I’m struggling with the fact that I’m messing around with two men.

I refuse to have sex
with both of them, and I don’t believe Drew would sleep with me unless I committed to him. Ian, on the other hand, might believe if he convinces me to have sex, I’ll pick him after the fact. I could see his brain working that way, or I should say his manhood working that way.

Needing to discuss it
, I pull away from him.

“I have to say something.”

He leans back over and kisses my neck.

“OK, say it.”

“Oh, that feels exceptional, but Ian, I refuse to sleep with two men at one time. I can’t imagine you’d want that, anyway. I just thought I should say it aloud.”

“You feel a need to say it out loud because you want me to make love to you, and you’re worried you’ll do it, but you’re right, I don’t want you sleeping with both of us.

“Once I found out about Drew, I knew you wouldn’t do it until you made your decision.” He says all of this while his lips are to my neck. Now, he’s pulling my shirt off my shoulder, so he can kiss it.

“Ian, aren’t you worried about getting frus
trated if things get intense and we have to stop?” His hand slides up the inside of the back of my shirt.

“There are plenty of other things we
can do to get acquainted, Brynlee,” he whispers in my ear. I’m so screwed. “Freeing, remember? You want to be more carefree. You want to let go with me.

“
Admit it. You want to know what it feels like to have my mouth and hands all over you.” I don’t respond as he circles my ear with his tongue. “Admit it, sweet girl. Say you want me as much as I want you.”

“I want you. I do,” I s
ay as my breathing becomes shallower. His tongue plunges into my mouth, his lust pouring in. He groans, and I want to come undone.

The wet, pulsing ache I feel has me almost begging for his touch. I push him over until I’m on top of him.
He growls into my mouth, and his hands are squeezing my ass in an instant.

I pull the top of his hair wi
th both my hands as his erection presses into me. I can’t take it any longer. I don’t know what we’ll do, but I have to have more.

I sit up and straddle him before I
yank my shirt off. His eyes widen. Never taking mine off of his, I unhook the front of my bra and slowly pull it off.

A heady look appears as h
is upper body flies up, his shirt coming off as he goes. After, he shifts my legs until they’re wrapped around his waist.

“Brynlee, you
’re driving me fucking crazy.”

H
e dunks his head down and takes hold of one of my nipples between his teeth. Each time he nibbles and sucks, I feel the stings of elation. My ache is now an unbearable throb, pleading for release.

The next thing I know, he’s picking me
up, and with one swift move, he puts me on my back. Damn, this man is driven. Now, my head is near his footboard. I’m gasping for air and feel the coolness from our separation.

“Please, don’t stop yet, Ian. Please.”