Ignite Me: Shards of Glass, Part One (51 page)

“Cool, how do you even keep track of all your business activity?!” I laughed. “I struggle to keep records and I only do a few separate things!” I moved into the showers stream of water and wet my hair through.

“I have an accountant my darling! He deals with all of that!”

I felt Cameron behind me as he reached around me for the body wash. “May I wash you?!”

I didn't mind, he'd done a wonderful job in the bath last time. “Sure, okay. Am I aloud to wash you?!” I chewed my lip wondering if he'd let me because last time he been so tense.

“Yes, I would very much like that.” His hands worked on my arms first, carefully spreading the suds up and down my arms, making sure each arm was washed and rinsed clean in turn. I let a breath go finding it relaxing.

“You're very good at this!”

He chuckled. “It's a service exclusively to you only!” His hands moved to wash my chest, taking time over my breasts, pampering me.

“Mm, well, I'm glad it's limited to only me!” I grinned, feeling happy that he'd never done this with anyone else. I was also smug that Miss A-line skirt never got to see him like this.

“And always will be a club of two!”

I closed my eyes as his hands swept up and down my legs. I hadn't expected him to do that, he was kneeling just behind me. I suppressed a moan as his hands reached the apex of my thighs, then swept over to massage my butt.

“Oh wow. This service is great!” I was a little worried how he would let me wash him, last time I'd only had access to his arms and chest, it made me nervous.

“All clean.” He stood back up and kissed my right shoulder just above my burn.

I smiled. “Thank you, how would you like me to wash you?! I don't wanna over step your comfort boundaries!” I turned around to face him. I figured it was best to ask given how he'd been last time.

His face went blank for a while before he handed me over the sponge. “Just do my chest and arms this time, I'll get better as time passes I promise!” He gave me a shy smile, his eyes reflecting his embarrassment that he still couldn't give up too much control to me.

I nodded. “Baby, you don't gotta explain yourself! I know you have boundary issues with having me wash you, it's nothing to be embarrassed about!” I smiled brightly at him.

He sighed. “But I hate it! The thing is Evan, even as a kid, I hated people touching me! I didn't even like my Nanny helping me dress! I was a very capable child!” He breathed heavily out of his nose. “I had to be.” He swallowed, making his adam's apple bob up and down and I listened transfixed.

“I bathed alone from the age of 7! For reasons I won’t burden you with, as I grew up and matured into sexual activities I would physically cringe if the other person touched me! I hated being touched physically. It got so bad I avoided sex of any type for a long time! That's why the rowing was so good for me because it was physically exhausting! In part, it's why I run each morning!

You see I didn't like sex in the traditional way either, it just never really did it for me! I have a very high sex drive and I work out to eliminate some of those needs! I ended up seeing a therapist in the end! It links back to never really having had a family that was touchy with each other, my parents didn't hug or kiss us we just got on with it! My Mother wasn't maternal and my father was all just big speeches and pats on the back but not much else! I never learnt that touching or hugging was okay, that people did that because they loved each other.

I grew up with very little love and a lot of confused feelings. When I used to see my friends hugging their parents, I thought it was abnormal! But I met someone when out in the states who introduced me a new scene, and I explored a way of sex that I was comfortable with that awakened my desire! By contracting partners I never had to worry about them wanting to touch me, because it was written into it that they didn't do that, also it eliminated them wanting more than what I was willing to give them!” His eyes became dark, almost hooded as he looked at me.

“I also used sex to get what I wanted sometimes too, I knew I was good at fucking and I'm not always proud of what I did, but business was business so if I had to I would tie their hands, so they couldn't touch me!”

He closed his eyes and picked up my left hand, placing it over his heart.

I was trying to take it all in, trying to make sense of what he was confessing. He'd never been this open with me before. What were the issues he didn’t want to burden me with?! I would happily have been burdened if it helped me understand.

“Angel, please understand you're the only woman who I've ever felt comfortable with touching me! Whom I've craved a touch from, whom I actually feel totally comfortable with and I'm learning that it's good, that I like being touched but just by you! I hope maybe that explains why I'm still working my way up to everything else!” He let a breath go, he looked terrified that he had actually opened up to me. Maybe he was scared I would run from him. I was in way too deep to even think about that, I needed him as much as he needed me, we needed each other. We fixed each other.

For the first time I felt like I was seeing Cameron, the little chinks in his cold armour starting to fall away. It was a lot for me to take in, I wanted to ask questions but I wasn't sure he'd tell me the answers though. It didn't surprise me that he'd grown up without being shown what normal healthy family love was! If how his sister acted was anything to go on then no wonder she'd ended up with an eating disorder and he had developed some kinda sexual issues as a teenager that rolled into adulthood, but something bothered me more than anything else, the fact he'd tied their hands! Had he done that to Erin?! Alarm bells started going off in my head, not because I didn't like the idea, but because I wasn't capable of giving up that amount of control to anybody, it was a massive trigger for me.

“Did you always tie your partner’s hands?! You've never done that to me!” I studied him.

He nodded, confirming it. “Sometimes, it's not just to stop them touching me, that's the bonus, but it can actually increase the pleasure for the other person! That's why before you, I always had a contracted partner, I am, well was their top and they were my bottom! Because they knew right from the get go what was expected and I knew what they were okay with doing.”

I took a huge breath in. “Do you want to tie my hands up too?!” I wasn't sure I could agree to that and I hoped he hadn't been working his way up to asking me that.

He stroked his hands down both my arms and shook his head. “No, Evan I don't want to ever tie you up, one because I have found that I crave your touch and two because it would trigger your anxiety and that would be massively irresponsible of me, but there are elements we could try that doesn't require you to he tied up, please don't look scared of me.” His eyes filled with concern as he took a step away from me.

I knew it took everything he had to actually step away from me, leaving me an exit to run, but it meant a lot to me he'd given me space to breath.

I felt relief flood my mind, as long as he wasn't wanting to tie me up I didn't care, I could work everything else out, but something did cross my mind and I wondered if I dare ask him, but he seemed to be open to talking at the moment but he had an annoying habit of closing down conversations but I sucked it up and went for it. “This whole scene you got into was it BDSM? Where your contracted partners like submissives cause isn’t a top essentially just a dominant and well they have subs so?!” I shrugged. “Only you said you liked sex as hot as I could handle it! Was that what you were gonna talk to me about?!”

His eyebrows shot up. “I'm not even gonna ask how you know about Subs and all that, but what I like borders some elements of BDSM! I am more into kink, it's far too long winded for me to explain to you in the shower in any details, but Kink just means I like things differently than doing the same thing over and over like most couples do! I like lots of different elements that we can explore as a couple, that’ll be new for me too, but I will explain later on in more detail for you! Some people think that it's bad if you like experimenting with sex but it's not! The only thing I would ask of you is to have an open mind about sex!”

I nodded slightly annoyed he’d avoided the questions about tops and bottoms. “Okay, well, I've heard of kink too! I'm almost 21 and don't look at me like I was some innocent, that's never wanted to explore sex! I'm willing to listen to you! I mean what we did last night was hardly vanilla was it! Not many men like not being in control! So I guess you aren't a dominant?!” I wanted him to actually answer me, he was actually quite bossy but I wasn't sure that Erin had been a sub not the way she acted around him, I shook her from my mind as I started to wash his arms, being careful how I touched him. I liked that we were talking, it was good for us to be open with each other, for us to work properly he had to be open more.

“Mm you actually know what vanilla means don't you darling?! And no I was a top most of the time, but none of that is relevant to us, we share who is top and who is bottom as you showed me last night!” He closed his eyes and smiled. He wasn't tense like last time I had washed him, he was relaxed this time and I grinned as I washed his chest. I felt a sense of achievement that I was the only woman he had ever liked to touch him. I guessed top meant pretty much the same thing, but I would ask him later, right now I didn't care overly. It also meant he was actually enjoying some elements of a vanilla relationship probably for the first time in his life. Surely, regardless of his kinky tendencies which, if I was honest, I had noticed showing more than once already, was a good thing! Wasn’t it?!

“Oh angel, how did I survive all this time without you?!” He let a happy sigh out.

I chuckled. “I dunno, but I think we both just muddled through life until we found each other! I'm thankful that you've opened up to me, it's in the vault!” I grinned up at him.

He laughed freely. “Yes, I rather think we did muddle through life fated to meet each other! Also, I agree with you last night was wonderful! You where spectacular! Next time I'll blindfold you! It'll make a big difference to what you feel!” His eyes were bright alight with the promise.

I didn't mind the idea of being blindfolded. “Well, I think I'm gonna have to start working out again before I even try being top again, I was exhausted after that!” I grinned as I finished washing him.

“I am sure with practice you'll get used to it, thank you for washing me, may I wash your hair?! Also, I love the honey color now! It feels nicer now all the bleached bits are gone!” He reached over for the shampoo with a smile on his face.

I grinned. “Yeah, it was so damaged it needed cutting! At least now I can grow it again and sure!” I turned around so he could get access to my hair.

“Also, do you remember we spoke about me getting your UK driver’s license sorted out?!” He paused as he tipped my head back and massaged the shampoo into my scalp, making it hard for me to concentrate.

“Oh, uh yeah!” I did vaguely recall him saying he knew someone that would help but he'd not mentioned it since.

“Well, I took the liberty of having it sorted out for you! It’s waiting for you in the kitchen! I hope you don't mind.” His fingers ran through the lengths of my hair working any tangles out.

“What is?!” I was confused. Did he mean the forms for one?! Surely he would have to have gotten me to sign something or at least have a photo taken, but this was Cameron and what he wanted he got so I waited to hear what he said.

He rinsed the shampoo out and worked the conditioner in. “Your new driver’s license! It was quite simple so I'm told! My contact at the DVLA used all the intelligence from your passport, that's how they do it over here now, it's one of the options as it proves your identity to be official so no need to even send paperwork so much better for the environment! So you have a nice brand new driver’s license waiting for you!”

“Oh, I see, I figured I'd have to sign a form or something! That's cool though, oh I can get a car now!” I was suddenly excited, I would be able to go off and explore places outside of London.

“Yes, well normally you would but I just helped the process along! Also, I meant what I said, let me help choose you a car! I also think that once you get a car that you shouldn't drive it alone the first few times until you get used to driving the way we do.” He finished washing my hair and placed his hands on my shoulders.

I frowned, I hadn't got an issue with the fact he'd had my license fast tracked or that he wanted to make sure I was safe on the road it was more that he maybe thought I wasn't capable of driving a car on my own without his help and that I resented.

“Well, I've managed to have a clean license all these years without any issues I'm sure driving in the UK can't be that much more difficult!” I had passed my test as a teenager in high school so I had been driving a while now.

He handed me the bottle of men’s shampoo and kissed my neck softly.

“Darling I'm not saying you aren't capable it's just you've never driven over here and London is a nightmare to drive in even for me! I was thinking we could go off to the country and try some of the quieter roads first!”

I was confused for a second as to why he'd handed me the bottle of shampoo, then it hit me. He wanted me to wash his hair.

Holly cow.

“You want me to wash your hair?!” I checked before I actually did anything. “Also, I guess you’re right as usual!” I grinned.

“Yes, please! I wanted you to last time I was just too stubborn to admit it!” He let go of my shoulders, allowing me to turn to face him.

I tipped some of the shampoo out into the palm of my hand. “Dip your head down towards me, then I can start, it works best that way.” I smiled a huge megawatt smile up at him. I was excited he was allowing me to do this. I was also keen to prove it was an intimate thing that was enjoyable, so I wanted to make sure it went without a hitch.

“When you smile, your eyes dance.” He grinned as he dipped his head down.

“If you say so!” I giggled softly as I carefully ran my fingers into his unruly hair and worked my fingertips over his scalp getting the shampoo to lather up.