If You Could See Me Now (43 page)

“Listen here.” Joe took off his reading glasses and put down the manual. “I know just about everyone in this town and I don’t know an Ivan nor have I ever heard of one.”

“But, Joe,” Elizabeth pleaded. “Please think back.” Then she remembered. “The day we splashed coffee all around outside.” She laughed. “That was Ivan.”

“Oh.” Joe smiled. “Part of the German crowd, was he?”

“No!” Elizabeth shouted in frustration.

“Well, where’s he from?” Joe asked, trying to calm her.

“I don’t know,” she said angrily.

“Well what’s his surname, then?” he asked.

Elizabeth swallowed hard. “I-I-I don’t know that either.”

“Sure, then how can I help you at all if you don’t know his surname or where he’s from? It doesn’t sound much like you know him either. As far as I remember, you were dancin’ around out there on your own like a madwoman, don’t know what got into you that day, at all.”

Elizabeth suddenly had an idea, grabbed her car keys from the counter, and ran out the door.

“But what about your hot drop?” he called, as she slammed the door behind her.

“Benjamin,” Elizabeth called out, banging her car door shut and running across the gravel to him. He was standing among a group of builders, crowding around and hunched over documents that were spread across a table. They all looked up at her.

“Can I talk to you for a minute?” She was breathless and her hair danced around her face from the strength of the wind at the top of the hill.

“Sure,” he said, stepping away from the silent group and leading her to a quieter area. “Is everything OK?”

“Yes.” She nodded uncertainly. “I just want to ask you a question, is that OK?”

He braced himself.

“You’ve met my friend Ivan, right?” She cracked her knuckles and shuffled from foot to foot, in anticipation of his answer.

He adjusted his hard hat, studied her face, and waited for her to laugh or tell him she was joking, but no smile hid behind those dark and worried eyes. “Is this a joke?”

She shook her head and chewed nervously on the inside of her cheek, brow furrowed.

He cleared his throat. “Elizabeth, I don’t really know what you want me to say.”

“The truth,” she said quickly. “I want you to tell me the truth. Well, I want you to tell me you’ve seen him, but I want that to be the truth, you see.” She swallowed.

Benjamin studied her face some more and eventually shook his head slowly.

“No?” she asked quietly.

He shook his head again.

Her eyes
filled and she looked away quickly.

“Are you OK?” He reached out to touch her arm, but she swayed her body away. “I assumed you were joking about him,” Benjamin said gently, slightly confused.

“You didn’t see him at the meeting with Vincent?”

He shook his head.

“At the barbecue last week?”

Another shake.

“Walking through the town with me? In the playroom that day when that, that . . .
thing
was written on the wall?” she asked hopefully, her voice full of emotion.

“No, I’m sorry,” Benjamin said kindly, trying to hide his confusion as best he could.

She looked away again, turned her back on him to face out toward the view. From this point, she could see the sea, the mountains, and the neat little village tucked away in the bosom of the valley.

Finally, she spoke. “He was so real, Benjamin.”

He didn’t know what to say, so he remained silent.

“You know when you can feel someone with you? And even though not everyone believes in that person, you know they’re there?”

Benjamin thought about it and nodded understandingly, even though she couldn’t see him. “My granddad died and we were close.” He kicked at the gravel self-consciously. “My family never agreed on much, they never believed much in anything, but I knew he was there with me at times. You knew Ivan well?”

“He knew me better.” She laughed lightly.

Benjamin heard her sniff and she wiped her eyes.

“So was he a real person? Did he pass away?” Benjamin asked, feeling confused.

“I just believed so much . . .” She trailed off. “He’s really helped me over the past few months.” She looked around at the view for another moment in silence. “I used to hate this town, Benjamin.” A tear rolled down her cheek. “I used to hate every single blade of grass on every hill, but he taught me so much. He taught me that it’s not the job of this town to make me feel happy. It’s not Baile na gCroíthe’s fault that I don’t feel I
fit
in. It doesn’t matter where you are in the world, because it’s about where you are up here.” She touched the side of her head lightly. “It’s about the other world I inhabit. The world of dreams, hope, imagination, and memories. I’m happy up here.” She tapped her temple again and smiled. “And because of that, I’m happy up here too.” She held out her arms and displayed the countryside around her. She closed her eyes and allowed the wind to dry her tears. Her face was softer when she turned to Benjamin. “I just thought it was important for you of all people to know that.” Quietly and slowly she headed back to her car.

Leaning against the old tower, Benjamin watched her walk away. He hadn’t known Elizabeth as well as he’d liked, but he had an idea she’d let him into her life more than she’d let others. Likewise, he had done the same. They’d had enough conversations for him to see how similar they really were. He’d seen her grow and change and now his unsettled friend had settled. He stared out to the view Elizabeth had been looking at for so long and for the
first
time in the year he’d been here, he opened his eyes and saw it.

...

In the early hours of the morning Elizabeth sat up in her bed, wide awake. She looked around the room at the time, three forty-five, and when she spoke aloud to herself, her voice was
firm
and confident.

“To hell with you all, I
do
believe.”

She threw off the covers and jumped out of bed, almost imagining the sound of Ivan howling with laughter in celebration.

Chapter Forty-Three

“Where’s
Elizabeth?” Vincent
Taylor hissed angrily at Benjamin, out of earshot of the crowd that had gathered for the opening of the new hotel.

“She’s still in the kids’ room.” Benjamin sighed, feeling the cement of the building wall of pressure from the last week
finally dry and lay heavy on his aching shoulders.

“Still?”
he shouted and a few people who had been paying attention to the speech being made at the front of the room turned around. The local politician from Baile na gCroíthe had come to officially open the hotel and a few speeches were being made around the original tower in the hotel grounds. Soon, the crowd would be trampling through the hotel, looking in each room to admire the work and the two men still didn’t know what Elizabeth was up to in the playroom. The last time either of them had seen it four days ago, it was still a blank canvas.

Elizabeth literally hadn’t come out of that room for the past few days. Benjamin had brought her some drinks and food from a vending machine and she had hastily grabbed it from him at the door and slammed it shut again. He had no idea what the interior was like and his life had been hellish all week trying to deal with a panicking Vincent. The novelty of Elizabeth speaking to an invisible person had long since worn off Vincent, he had never had rooms being worked on during the very moment the building was being opened, it was a ridiculous and extremely unprofessional situation.

The speeches
finally
finished, there was polite clapping, and the crowd began to
file inside, where they began inspecting the new furniture, everyone inhaling the smell of fresh paint as they were led around.

Vincent swore loudly over and over again, receiving angry glances from parents as by room after room they got closer to viewing the playroom. Benjamin could barely take the suspense and paced the
floor. He recognized Elizabeth’s father looking around in boredom while leaning on his blackthorn cane, and her nephew with his nanny among the crowd, and he hoped to god she wouldn’t let them all down. Judging by their last conversation on top of the hill, he believed she would come through for them. At least he hoped so; he was due to
Fly
back to his hometown in Colorado next week and he couldn’t take having to deal with any delays on site. For once, his personal life would come before his work.

“OK, boys and girls,” the guide said as if she were in a Barney episode, “this next room is especially for
you,
so moms and dads, you’ll have to take a few steps back to allow them through because this is a very
special
room.”

There were oohs and aahs, excited giggles, and whispers as the children let go of their parents’ hands, some shyly, some daringly racing toward the front. The guide turned the handle on the door. It didn’t open.

“Jesus Christ,” Vincent muttered, placing his hand over his eyes. “We’re ruined.”

“Eh, just a minute, girls and boys.” The guide looked questioningly over at Benjamin.

He just shrugged and shook his head hopelessly.

The guide tried the door again, but to no avail.

“Maybe you should knock,” one child shouted out and the parents laughed.

“You know what, that’s a very good idea.” The guide played along, not knowing what else to do.

She knocked once on the door and suddenly it was pulled open from the other side. The children slowly shuffled forward.

There was complete silence and Benjamin covered his face in his hands. They were in big trouble.

Suddenly one child let out a “Wow!” and one by one, the hushed and stunned tones from the children gradually became excited calls to one another. “Look at that!” “Look over there!”

The children looked around the room in awe. The parents followed them in and Vincent and Benjamin looked at each other in surprise as they heard similar whispers of approval. Poppy stood at the doorway, her eyes darting around, her mouth open wide in total shock.

“Let me see this,” Vincent said, rudely pushing his way through the crowd. Benjamin followed and what he saw inside took his breath away. The walls of the large room were covered with enormous murals of splendid bursts of color, each wall with a different scene. One wall in particular was a familiar sight to him; three people happily jumping in a
field of long grass, their arms held upward, bright smiles on their faces, their hair blowing in the wind as they reached up to catch—

“Jinny Joes!” Luke exploded with excitement, looking around the room in awe, his eyes popping out of his face along with the rest of the children in the room. They were mostly silent as they all stood alone, looking at the detail on each wall. “Look, it’s
Ivan
in the picture!” he shouted to Elizabeth.

Feeling stunned, Benjamin looked over at Elizabeth, who was standing in the corner in scruffy denim overalls splattered in paint, with dark circles under her eyes. Despite her apparent tiredness, she was beaming, her face totally alight from the reaction to the room. The pride in her shining eyes was evident as everyone pointed to each painting, enjoying the scenery.

“Elizabeth!” Edith whispered, her hands
Flying to her mouth in shock. “
You
did all this?” She looked at her employer with both confusion and pride.

Another mural was of a little girl in a
field, watching a pink balloon
floating up to the sky; in another, a crowd of children were having a water
fight, splattering paint, and dancing on the sand on a beach. A little girl sat in a green
field, having a picnic with a cow, who wore a straw hat. A group of young boys and girls climbed trees and hung from their branches. On the far wall Elizabeth had painted a man and a boy with magnifying glasses held up to their eyes and black mustaches, leaning over and studying a set of black footprints that led from the wall, all the way across the
floor
and up the wall on the other side. And on the ceiling, Elizabeth had painted a sky of deep blue, with shooting stars, comets, and distant planets. She had created a new world, a wonderland of escapism, fun, and adventure, but it was the attention to detail, the looks of glee on the characters’ faces, the happy smiles of pure childish enjoyment that jumped out at Benjamin. They were the faces he had seen so many times—correction, it was the face he had seen on Elizabeth when he had caught her dancing in the
field and traipsing through the village with lakeweed in her hair. It was the face of someone who had let go and was truly happy.