If Only (22 page)

Su and I kneel down on the
ground and start going through our bags for the clothes we’ll wear after our
shower. Then we’ll change properly at Joe’s parents’ house. Su’s smiling, and
so am I. She whispers, “So did you cram seven years of sex into one night?”

I giggle silently. “No, I
couldn’t, everyone would’ve heard.”

“But you’re together?” I nod
with my biggest grin ever. We hug tightly. “This is freaking awesome,” she
mutters in my ear. We release each other. I feel giddy with excitement.

“What happened to Gerard? He
didn’t show up after Joe and I moved to the new spot.”

“Dane and I told him not to.
When you guys were in the lake yesterday, Dane asked me if you still liked Joe.
I saw it as an opportunity and told him, “Maybe.” Then he said that Joe was in
love with you, and I was like, “
No way,
” and he totally knew by my
reaction, so we started plotting. We were going to wait and plan properly, military
precision and all that, but then when Joe said about sleeping outside, we just
grabbed the chance. Some eye contact between us and we knew that that was the
time. When Gerard came back from the restroom we told him everything.”

“I can’t believe it, Su. He
said he’s loved me since the start.”

“Yeah, I couldn’t believe it
myself. Joe told Dane after you freaked out on him the other day. I almost
freaked last night when we heard your raised voice, it didn’t make sense if you
both felt the same. We sent Gerard to check on you guys so he’d take the shit
if there was any.” We laugh as low as we can. “When you didn’t come back we
figured things were okay. I’m totally stoked.”

“Me, too.
We better get going, but we’ll talk properly later. I
hate that I have to go back out there. This is one time I hope Gerard backs
off.”

Su grins, unconcerned. “You can take him, girl.” 

When we arrive at Joe’s parents’ house, Adam and
Saffron are here. Adam charges at me, picking me up in a big hug like I’m his
long lost sister. “Did I really see you and my bro walking in hand-in-hand?
This is some development, nice going.” He kisses me on the cheek, his neat
stubble tickling my skin.

“Yeah, I know,” I reply, as
he releases me.

Saffron comes down the
stairs in response to our voices. We cuddle, and just like with Adam, her hold
has an additional tightness compared to our usual hugs. “Good move, girl,” she
whispers in my ear. “We’ll chat soon, okay? I want details.”

“We’ll talk.”

I’ve never been to the
Williams’ household before. It’s remarkable and
large
with a lot of
natural light, courtesy of the floor-to-ceiling front facing windows. The
pastel colors throughout complement it perfectly. As we walk in, we’re
immediately in the kitchen and dining area. To the right of me there’s a huge
oval dining table, made of oak. Its position in front of the marble fireplace
is ideal. Images of Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner flood my mind.

I’ll have to ask if the
paintings are the work of their mom. There’s an amazing portrait above the
fireplace of, who I assume to be, Joe and Adam. They’re sitting on the floor in
front of each other, drawing on pieces of white paper. They seem unaware of
themselves being sketched, a real capture the moment. The kind I’d photograph.

I didn’t realize I was
moving. Joe walks up behind me, and I’m standing in front of the picture of him
and his brother, as boys.
“Your mom’s work?”
I ask,
still gazing up at it.

“Yeah, most of it in this
house is. My dad insisted on it, he’s her biggest fan.”

“It’s you and Adam, right?”

“Yep.”

“How old were you?”

“Six and
seven.”

“It’s amazing.” He kisses
the top of my head and slips his hands around my waist. Along the mantel are
photos.
“Your father’s parents?”
I ask, observing a
young, immaculately dressed couple, standing side by side. It’s in black and
white, and they appear to be at a dance.

“Yeah.”

I observe the woman closer;
his grandmother as a girl, my guess is that she was around twenty. This is the
first time I’ve seen her, knowing who she is, but her face is familiar. I look
down at one of the arms around me. “The angels are her,” I unintentionally say,
thinking aloud.

“They are. She died when I
was seventeen. I sketched some images and got Adam to tattoo one on me. I only
ever intended on having the one, but before I knew it, I had barely any clear
skin left on my arm.”

I silently contemplate the
sweet reasoning behind all those angels, angels with one beautiful face and so
many different expressions.

“The last one I had done,”
he says, quietly, cutting into my thoughts, which are now verging on emotional,
given the motivation of his ink, “was inspired by you.”

“Me? How? I didn’t know you
when you had them done.”

He shows me the inside of
his right forearm. “Adam did this for me about a month before you came into
BlackArt. The very first time I properly saw you, right after I took off my
helmet that day on the sidewalk, the expression on your face stuck with me.
Concern mixed with what seemed like fascination, maybe curiosity. I wasn’t sure
exactly, but I drew it and I liked it so much I designed the final angel based
on it. They all relate to different emotions.” If I thought I was at a loss for
words before, then I don’t know what I am now. 

After a few silent moments,
I bring my focus back to the photos on the mantel. The next picture along is
Joe’s mom and dad. I met them at Saffron and Adam’s wedding, but if I hadn’t
I’d still know who they are.

“You and your brother really
do look like your dad and your grandfather. The good news is you’ll always be
handsome.”

He chuckles. “I’m glad you
think so.”

I adore that Joe comes from
such a strong family unit, it’s no different than my own, and being in the home
he grew up in feels special. Standing here with him like this makes me want us
to be together more than I did before. I want to be his future and I want him
to be mine. I want my home to have photos and drawings of us and our children.
I want to have a son that looks just like Joe, and his father, and his father’s
father. I want and love Joe right now more than ever before, and more than I
even thought possible.

In fact, I think I just fell
in love with him all over again.

He takes me by the hand,
picks up our duffels, and leads me upstairs. Now it hits me – I am sharing
Joe’s room.

I am sharing Joe’s room.
Shittttt!
Stick a happy face right on the end of that!

As soon as we walk in, Joe
drops the bags down on the floor and pulls me over to the bed. We lay
diagonally across it, kissing and groping. We’re getting into it, and I can
feel his erection against my hip. Screw waiting
.
I start tugging at his
belt–

Adam charges through the
door and jumps on us, landing on Joe’s back. I’m at the bottom of the three of
us. I can barely breathe. Thankfully, Joe pushes up a little, easing the
pressure. “Come on, you two, there’s plenty of time for that. We need to get
the day rolling.”

Turns out big brothers are
totally not cool.

“Okay, bro, just
give
me a minute.”

“Is that all you need, Joey
boy? Maybe Callie needs to rethink things.” A wink my way and he gets up
laughing as though he just told the funniest joke ever. He staggers out of the
room. Popping his head back round the door frame, he tells us, “You’ve got
twenty minutes to
get ready
.”

Joe’s up, the second Adam’s
gone, locking us in, and then he’s back on top of me before I can move. We’re
back to making out, I’m gripping his hair with my fingers, and he’s grinding
into me. He’s so damn hard, so passionate.

“I want you to fuck me right
now, Joe.” I open my legs and capture him within them. He groans from deep in
his chest and I feel the vibrations from it against my lips. I start tugging at
his belt again, I just get the buckle open, and he pulls away from me. He’s
about to say something and then kisses me hard, before hauling himself up off
me. I’m breathing as though I’ve been running. Funny, so is Joe.

“My first time with you is
not going to be some quickie and that’s as good as it can get right now. You,
Ms. Rogers, will just have to wait.” Taking me by the hands, he lifts me into a
seated position. What? No. I’d be happy with sixty seconds. How much longer can
we possibly wait?

Stick a fucking pout on the
end of that one!

He walks to the door and
picks up our stuff and puts it on the floor at the foot of the bed. Sitting
back on his haunches, he unzips each of our duffels and starts searching
through his. We might not have time for full sex, but there’s something I do
want to do, and I’ll make sure that it doesn’t take long.

Silently and quickly, I
strip out of my clothes, leaving on my peach colored lace boy shorts and
matching bra. I position myself on all fours, on the mattress, facing him at
the end of it. “Joe,” I whisper, not that it’s necessary to keep my voice so
low. He stands up, an air of shock about his face as his gaze locks with mine.
Now I’m looking up at him like a lazy cat waiting to be stroked. Smiling, I
shift forward slightly and grab his waistband with one hand, supporting my body
weight with the other under me. “I want you to fuck my mouth, Joe.” I tug him
closer and release the top button. “We’ve got time.”

“This is honestly the
sexiest thing I’ve ever seen,” he says, his hungry stare roaming my flesh, down
my spine, lingering on my butt. Slowly, he shakes his head. “Damn, I love your
ass.” His focus is so intense it feels as though he’s actually touching me,
warm palms and fingers gliding across my skin. I suppress the moan his phantom
caress rouses, but I can’t control the throbbing between my legs.

“Come here.” My breathlessly
whispered words were because it’s the best I could manage, I’m overwhelmed with
arousal. Today is going to be a very long, very hard day.

Once his jeans and underwear
are down, I get to see something I’ve thought about many, many times. Fuck
yeah. It’s bigger and better in reality; standing to attention, long, thick and
ready, blood filled veins bulging. Yes, please and thank you very much
.

I curled my hand into a
tight fist around the base of his cock and pull along the full length, all the
way to the tip. A slow, low hiss sounds as Joe sucks in air between clenched
teeth. A bead of pre-come makes an appearance, and I lick it away. I lower my
upper body just enough, arching my lower back, leaving my butt high in the air.
Overeager, I take him all the way to the rear of my throat, capturing a fair
amount of his length. I leave his shaft wet with my saliva, as I draw back, so
this time when I take him he slides in easier. Mmm, yes
.
Pulling back
again, I suck harder, and Joe lets out a groan. I moan right back, it’s
impossible not to, he sounds sexy as hell, all masculine and aroused.

Taking his balls in my palm
and massaging them, I use my tongue on the head. Slick swirls and some firm
suction, and I can hear him reacting to the attention this sensitive area is
getting; low, deep groans. I could come just listening to him. Releasing him,
to admire his masterpiece, I say the most prominent thing on my mind. “I
seriously fucking love your cock, Joe.”            

Claiming him again, Joe cups
the back of my head with his hand, but not firmly, and thrusts into my mouth in
time with me. “You have no idea how hot you look from here,” he says, his voice
tense. Mutually, we become more vigorous. “Ah, fuck, Callie.” His dick starts
to thicken and spasm, his moans becoming more strained. He comes in my mouth,
and I willingly swallow everything he gives.

Pulling away, I kneel
upright and run my thumb across my saliva drenched bottom lip. All of a sudden,
I’m trying to come across elegant. There was nothing elegant about the way I
just sucked him off, why am I even bothering? Reaching for my discarded shirt,
I wipe my wet face with it and check my watch. “We’ve got about ten minutes.”

I stand up, and Joe grasps
my hips firmly. “I’ve never wanted to fuck you as much as I do right now. I
didn’t think it was possible to want you more than I already did.” He draws me
to him, and I wrap my arms around his shoulders, his forehead pressing between
my breasts. 

It’s impossible not to grin
to myself – I just had Joe’s cock in my mouth.

We’re one step closer to the
biggie now. Hurry up today!

Leaning my shoulder against the door frame, I watch
Callie put in her pink ear studs. Her long-sleeved, tight lace mini dress
reveals her entire back, the cream color of the clothing a shade darker than
her fair skin. I focus briefly on her sparkly stiletto sandals, imagining her
in them and nothing else. Simple makeup, her hair pulled up into a high bun
with pink roses; she has no idea how beautiful she is.

Turning from the mirror, she
sees me watching her. Walking to me, she compliments my attire, part of which
is a luxurious dress shirt she and Su bought me for my birthday. “I love this
shirt on you,” she says, smoothing her hands over my chest. “You look sexy all
in black.”