If Only (18 page)

I’m yet to be seen. The
slight furrow that forms between her brows makes me melt. Braving the chilly
morning, she looks damn sexy in her denim hot pants and a tight white T-shirt
with a dancing leprechaun on the front. Her shoulder length hair’s pulled up
into a neat ponytail, just the way I like it, showing off her beautiful face
further.

Those expressive eyes,
peeping out from under her bangs, have been on my mind every single day since
last weekend. I don’t know what Dane saw that I didn’t, but of all the emotions
I’ve seen them offer me over the years attraction wasn’t one of them –
fascination, intrigue and, yeah, admiration, but never attraction. I saw the
way she looked at Nick, which, on reflection, makes me feel like a total
jackass for ... I don’t know, continuing to love her. But how the hell do you
reverse something like that? It’s not possible.

One thing I’m sure of is if I’d
suspected Callie had feelings for me, I wouldn’t have been capable of not
telling her it was a mutual thing. 

As I hang here, thinking and
taking her in, she turns her back to me. I take my opportunity.

Sneaking up from the rear, I
lift her from around her waist and spin her around. “Hey, Baby cake.”

“You bastard!” she screams.
I put her down and she whirls around, to face me, and playfully slaps me on my
arm. “You scared me half to death, Joe.”

“I’m sorry, but I couldn’t
resist, you looked all lost and vulnerable,” I tease, poking her in the ribs.

Su jumps out of the
passenger seat and joins us, and I snatch her up in a hug. Gerard and Dane
arrive and, after we lavish Su with compliments for her latest hairstyle, the
girls decide to go grab a bite to eat. We guys wait by the car talking typical
boyish bullshit.

When they return, Callie
jingles her keys in the air. “Who wants to take the wheel?” she sings
excitedly, knowing full well who that person will be. As expected, Gerard grabs
them.

Once our bags are all in the
trunk, Su assumes her former position and, of course, that leaves Dane, Callie
and me in the back. None of us want to be in the middle, so we turn into a
bunch of overgrown kids arguing over who will sit where. With that attitude of hers,
Callie makes it clear that because it’s her dad’s ride and she’s the girl she
gets first choice. She gets in and positions herself by the window, behind
Gerard. Dane and I wrestle like idiots, after he decides to claim travel
sickness and needing to be by the other window.

In the end, I have to endure
the inconvenience of sitting in the middle – beside Callie.

Not being one to take
advantage, once we’re on our way and heading out of town, I start tickling her.
She has no way out, so wriggles and giggles like crazy, trying to tell me to
stop. She’s small and soft and she smells of strawberries.

“Hey, pipe down back there,
kids,” Gerard says, in a mock parental tone, looking through the rearview
mirror.

By now she’s squirming even
more, and I have to stop before the girl gives me a fucking hard-on.

“How the hell did I not
notice?” Dane mutters to himself, sounding mystified.

I glance at him, hoping I’m
the only one who heard that. His expression says exactly what he verbally said.
No one else reacts, I guess they remain oblivious.

That’s how it needs to stay,
just for now.  

We’re close to the campsite now and the ride so far
has been the perfect start to our long weekend. It’s confirmed that this is just
what I need – with the way we all are together, I’ll barely get a moment to
think.

Gerard is bugging Su about
her cousin, Linda, who lives in Sacramento. He met her at Su’s wedding a year
and a half ago and still till this day tries to get her number. She’s probably
the only woman he wanted, but didn’t get. He fails to get anywhere for the one
millionth time. “Hah! Callie, I can imagine you being just like that chick in
27
Dresses
; a closet full of bridesmaid dresses.
Always the
bridesmaid, huh?”
He chuckles, humoring himself. 

“Actually, fuckhead, I’ve
only been a bridesmaid three times, that doesn’t exactly count.”

“I’m just teasing don’t go
getting your panties in a wad.”

This is typical Gerard, and
I’m not going to overreact this time. “How’d you know I’m wearing any?”

“
That
is not the kind
of info you wanna be throwing my way, little girl, you don’t have a boyfriend
who’ll come kick my ass for hittin’ it.”

I lean forward, peering
around the side of his seat, getting a good view of his handsome profile. I can
smell his cologne, strong and masculine. “Hittin’ it? Gerard, you wish, that’s
your best dream ever and my worst nightmare ever.” I sit back, chuckling hard.
As much as I love that guy, I can’t imagine getting it on with him.

“Dude!”
Dane says, firm and demanding. “What the fuck were
you doing watchin’
27 Dresses
?”

“What?”

“You heard me.”

“How do
you
even know
what it’s about?”

“I saw the advertisements,
it isn’t hard to know, but something tells me you’ve actually seen it.”

“What, can’t a guy watch a
movie like that?”

Dane and Joe snicker at him.
Smiling, Su runs her hand slowly over Gerard’s short, wispy hair. “Are you
watching for tips, or is there a hidden romantic in there?”

“Chicks like chick flicks. I
can’t exactly have movie nights with bullets spraying all over the place, can
I? It doesn’t do much for the mood. Though, horror comes in quite useful. I’ll
let you into a little secret; I’m a romantic guy and I’ll make a perfect
boyfriend some day. Especially for your cousin, so how ‘bout you give me her
number.”

Su shakes her head, still
smiling. “Not in this lifetime, buddy, not in this lifetime.”

“Whatever. Hey, Callie, I
think maybe it’s time you try some girl-on-girl action.” 

“Why would I do that?”

“You’re young, you’re single
and you’re super hot. You should experiment. I know a couple chicks that would
totally go for you. You need to getcha self out there, so long with one dude
isn’t good.”

I peer around his seat
again. FYI: when I do this, my knee touches Joe’s knee. Such simple, innocent
physical contact, but it’s so pleasing. I love how playful we are, too, though
it can sometimes send my body temperature up into the stratosphere. “Thanks for
the advice and the offer,” I say to Gerard, “I’ll let you know.”

His lips quirk up,
mischievous as always. “Will you let me watch? Join in, even.”

“Sorry, dude, I don’t do
carrot-tops. I’m more of a tall, dark and handsome kinda girl.”

Su, Joe and Dane all guffaw.
Gerard hates being called that. He’s not even a red-head, but he still hates
it.

“I’m fuckin’
strawberry-blond, okay. Remember you’re sleeping in the same tent as me
tonight. Revenge will be sweeeet!”

“I’m sleeping with Su in her
bag.” I am going to shut up now, because when he gets an idea in his head it
sticks. I sit back, fold my arms across my stomach, and silence myself.

I watched that movie,
27
Dresses
, and I thought it was funny and romantic. I’ve been bridesmaid to
Elena, Su and Saffron. I don’t think there’ll be a fourth dress for me, but I
do hope I get my own big day. I’ve never been into any of the fussy stuff
surrounding a wedding, but I do want to be a wife. It’s totally weird that I’m
sitting next to the man that I’d like that to be with, and he has no idea about
that.

We arrive at our camping spot and pitch our huge tent.
This is the first time Saffron and Adam haven’t been present, it’s strange
without them here. For the past five years the seven of us have done this,
usually for three nights. It’s become our tradition. My vacations were always
with Nick, but he and Zack had no interest in camping. They weren’t into the
clubbing scene, either.

“Anyone
for skinny dipping?”
Gerard asks.

“Yeah, right,” Su responds,
“I’m not sure if you arrived with your eyes closed, but we do have company. I
don’t think the other campers are ready to see you naked. I don’t think
I’m
ready to see you naked.”

“You know you want it,
baby,” he replies, with a sexy grinding of his hips. He does have a great body,
but he doesn’t need to know that Su and I think that.

We did all skinny dip on one
of our trips, purely for the fun of it. It was at night, so we didn’t actually
see each other nude with good vision, just dark silhouettes.

After we all agree on the
lake for our afternoon’s entertainment, Su and I put on our bikinis, she in her
orange, which is divine against her beautiful oriental skin, and me in silver.
Deciding on a little sunbathing first, we arrange our towels and lie down.

There are a few small groups
of people around and several kids, but it’s not too busy. We’ve picked a good
time to come, the site as a whole isn’t too crowded. The guys are already in
the water, acting like a bunch of ten year olds, doing handstands and fighting
each other. We do have a tendency to become childlike when we do things
together, especially something like this. 

I lie among the lupines,
close my eyes, and allow every single one of my muscles to relax. I can hear
some kind of flying insect buzzing around nearby, which is nice, and I love
that there’s no sound of cars passing by and none of the traffic we’re
accustomed to. It’s perfect and calm. No work, no rushing around, just
relaxation. I focus on the feel of the sun’s heat covering me, warming my skin,
while breathing in the scent of nature and the open space around me. “Gosh,
it’s so soothing.”

“Glorious,” Su replies.

Suddenly, I’m being lifted
up. I scream and my eyelids snap open. Joe’s picked me up and he’s running
toward the lake. Su’s screaming tells me someone has hold of her, too. I spot
Gerard, waiting, ready to pounce on the first one of us in. “No, Joe, don’t
take me in there, please,” I beg, fighting like crazy to get loose – as if I
stand a chance against Mr. Jujutsu himself.

Just my damn luck! I’m the
first one in, and as soon as I am, Gerard attacks and I’m being pushed under. I
wriggle around, trying not to gulp down the water, and I fight back. We all end
up like a bunch of ten year olds, splashing around and dunking each other.

We calm down after a while
of fooling around. Gerard is now hanging with some kids, giving them swimming
tips. Su and Dane are sitting on the grass, talking.

Joe’s giving me a piggy-back
in the lake. Where we are isn’t too deep, it’s level with his chest, as he
walks and floats around with me on him. Watching the shimmer of the sun over
the surface of the rippling water is hypnotic, and the heat enveloping my back
and arms adds to the calm I feel. This is typical behavior for Joe and me. I’m
so pleased he hasn’t held my unfair outburst against me.

 “It’s good to have you
back to your usual self,” Joe says. Our faces are side-by-side, making it easy
to speak and hear each other.

“No more freaking out for
me.”

He chuckles. “That’s some
temper you’ve got on you, Baby cake.”

“I know. Silly girly
emotions, I’m over it now.” I’ve never lost it with any of my friends before. I
think Joe handled it well, an irrational female spazzing out on him like that.

“Good. Let me know when you
wanna get out.”

“I will.” Hmph! I’m in no hurry – I’m all wrapped
around Joe’s big, strong body. This’ll give me plenty to have my imagination
run wild with tonight.  

As evening approaches, the weather cools slightly, but
it’s still nice and warm. Su cooks dinner on our stove; vegetarian fajitas for
us and chicken fajitas for the boys. We drink beer and talk, as always we have
plenty to say.

“I think we should sleep
outside,” Joe suggests, lying back on his sleeping bag, one arm behind his head
and the other hand resting casually on his bare abdomen.

“Yeah, great idea,” I agree.
“What do you guys think?”

Joe suggests a small
clearing that’s close by, a little higher up. “Closer to the stars,” he jokes,
though he’s serious about his idea. We all agree, after a brief debate about
eventual cold and safety. It’s not officially a camping spot, but it’s getting
late, so I guess it’ll be okay. It’s not the first time we’ve broken the rules
on one of our trips.

“This is so great,” I say,
getting excited by the prospect of languishing beneath the sparkling night sky.
I’m already in my undershirt and panties, so I wrap my sleeping bag around
myself. We pick up some beer and water to take with us.

“I’ll keep an eye on our
stuff,” Su says, “I don’t really want to leave it unattended.”

I look at her, frowning, because
I do want to go, but I’m not leaving her here.

Dane sits back down. “Yeah,
I’ll stay, too. I’m not leaving Su alone.”

“We’ll all stay then,” I
reply, as I start walking back to where I was sitting.