If Ever I Fall (5 page)

“You have boobs, he’s looked. Trust me. That’s how he is. Brad knows him pretty well.” I shake my head as I fold more clothes and stuff them in boxes.

“Steph, I have lived with you for years. It was supposed to be temporary and I turned it into so much more. You need to live your life and I need to figure mine out.” Steph drops on the bed looking at me with tears in her eyes. I know this is hard for her, it’s hard for me too but the facts still remain that she has her own life that doesn’t include me.

“I love having you here, you know that. If I wanted it any other way I would have told you.” I see the tear slide down her cheek and it kills me. I know Steph has a heart of gold but I need this.

“Don’t do that. It isn’t like we’re a million miles apart. It’s like 15 freaking minutes.” I reach down and wipe her cheek making her smile. There’s my best friend.

Someone knocks on the door pulling us away from our little girl chat.

“I got it.” Steph bounces off the bed and heads out of the room. Thank god, I could kiss whoever that is! I don’t like when Steph gets all teary eyed on me.

“Roomie!” Maybe I won’t kiss him.

Gavin walks in with a huge smile plastered across his gorgeous face. He is a pretty hot looking guy I must say but I know my limits now. I marked dating down as a lesson learned.

“I didn’t think you would really come.” Looking at him strangely I love the look on his face. Now he feels like an idiot.

“You told me to.” Smiling, I continue with my packing.

“Yeah, I guess I did.” Gavin sits on the edge of the bed as he looks around my room. It’s a room with walls so there isn’t really much to look at.

“You have more stuff than this right?” Gavin’s eyes meet mine and I feel such a connection. I look away quickly to get rid of that feeling.

“Just my piano and I can make it fit in the room.” Gavin’s eyes light up when I say piano. I heard he is in a band so I can see why that interests him.

“We can make room for it in the living room. You play a lot?” Nodding I guess I need to rethink how often I go to the theater. I don’t want to bother Gavin with my playing like I do Steph although she doesn’t say anything about it.

“I won’t make noise when you’re home, I promise.” Gavin shrugs his shoulders like it’s no big deal before he stands.

“What can I help with?” I didn’t really think he would come and I don’t really need help. Way to play it cool, Laney.

“I didn’t really need help. This is about all I have.” He seems to be confused by that. I’m not sentimental really. I guess I am to a point but other than my piano there really isn’t anything else I hold dearly.

“When do you want to move this stuff? My brother is about done packing. He said he will be out in a day or two.” Shit, I thought I had a week to get myself in order for this. I’m used to moving, at least I was when I was a kid but now nowhere feels like home, not even here with Steph.

She tried to make it a home for me but I knew in my heart that it wasn’t.

“Whenever.”’ I shrug trying to stay calm as the butterflies fill my stomach. Great, I’m going to throw up at the thought of moving in with the hot rocker.

“I brought the truck so we can move some stuff now if you want to.” Jesus we just discussed it and now we are going to do it?

My palms sweat as I rub them up and down my thighs, Gavin’s eyes following them. Is he checking me out? Holy shit. No, he can’t be.

“Ok. Yeah, that’s fine. Brad is coming over so maybe he can help with the piano. It’s old but heavy. Are you sure you don’t mind if I bring it?” Gavin drags his eyes back up my body meeting my own, a little flicker of fire burning in them.

“Mi casa is su casa.” Cliché. Yep, that’s the word for him.

                                   
 
Gavin

“I can’t believe she is doing this. How the hell did you talk her into this?” Brad grumbles as we load this antique piano onto the back of my truck. He has been grumbling since he got here and frankly I’m tired of hearing it.

“You guys read too much into shit. She needed a place, I have a room. That’s it. There is nothing to figure out.” I throw the tie downs over the top before I attach them to the sides of the truck, while he continues his little rant.

“You’re basically living with a woman. That isn’t normal for you, Gavin.” Shaking my head, I walk back towards the door.

“Jenna lived with me before. Besides, we both work and I have the band at night. We’ll probably barely see each other.” Walking back inside I just wish the bullshit would stop. I keep telling myself the same thing.

Obviously Laney is a very beautiful girl but she isn’t my type at all. She’s funny and sweet and easy to be around. She’ll make a good friend but that’s it. At least that’s what I’m telling myself. I can’t mess with my roommate. She’s off limits.

“You even try to hurt her; I will kick your ass. I know how to shoot.” What in the hell did I just walk into? Steph is in front of me with her hands on her hips. This girl is on fire right now.

“Fucking hell not you too. Like I just told Brad, we are roommates and that’s it!” I walk past her running my hand through my hair when a little body slams into mine. My hands come down on her shoulders before she looks up at me, those big brown eyes searing their way into me.

“You ok?” Laney’s mouth is hanging open as she stares up at me. I wonder if she feels that same zing that I do every time we touch. I know it couldn’t be anything but I still feel it.

“Yeah, no. Shit. I’m sorry.” She’s frazzled and I find that adorable. Did I just fucking think the word adorable? Holy hell.

“No, it’s fine. They were driving me crazy so I thought I’d see if you needed help.” Neither of us moves and neither do my hands. I hold them against her like she may disappear if I let her go. The crazy tingling is still there and I want to know why.

Laney finally steps back out of my reach, shaking her head.

“I think that’s it for now. Do you want me to come help unload it? I mean, I need to ask Steph if she can pick me up. My car died.”

“I’ll bring you back.” With a slight nod, she walks back into her room.

I blow out a breath and hope to god I am making the right choice on having her move in. That was kind of spur of the moment and I didn’t really give it much thought either. It will be like living with Sean only Sean doesn’t have boobs and girly shit.

I must look like a complete idiot because Laney is standing there with a goofy little grin on her face.

“Do you always stare at random walls or do these hold special powers?” Wiggling her eyebrows, I laugh. I’m not used to a woman making me laugh. Jenna is always so serious and she usually just wants sex.

“They are some really nice walls.” Laney laughs as I follow her out into the living room Oh no, here we go again. Brad and Steph both catch me in the death glares they’re giving me.

“What the fuck did I do now?” Laney must notice how tense it is, she looks between us all.

“Leave him alone. He didn’t do anything and nothing is going to happen. You two of all people should know that the whole dating thing is over for me.” Laney points at them and a sad expression crosses both their faces.

That has my interest now. Why is she done with dating? Did someone hurt her? Why the hell does the mere thought of someone hurting her piss me off as much as it is?

Scrubbing my hand over my face, I need to pull myself together. Maybe I feel like a sisterly vibe towards her. Yeah, that must be it.

“I’m going to unload this stuff. I’ll be back later.” I watch as Laney kisses Steph on the cheek before waiting for me by the door.

“Yeah, I’ll bring her back UNTOUCHED.” I have to make that word a little louder since they think I’m going to throw her down and ravish her as soon as we walk out of here.

“It isn’t funny. She has a past.” Brad whispers quietly and I don’t think Laney heard him. I wonder what this past shit is.

“I got it. Don’t worry.”  Slapping his shoulder I head towards the door.

“They are really protective.” I walk over opening the door for Laney and watch her slide into the seat.

“Yeah, Steph always has been.” With a short nod I close the door and head around to get in my side.

“What’s with the no dating thing?” I ask as I pull out onto the main road. Laney blows out a breath and I wonder if I’m pushing the limit on asking her but I want to know now.

“I’ve just dated some real assholes in the past. I don’t want to waste any more time on them. A lot of people don’t see the real me and when they do they lose it.”  That’s some deep thoughts about herself. I see her and I think she’s great. Why would anyone run from her?

“Will I get to see the real you?” Joking around a little I see her tense up. Her hands are knotted in her lap so tight her knuckles are turning white.

I reach over grabbing her hands in mine.

“Hey, it’s ok. I was joking.” Laney turns her head to face me and fear has taken hold of her. Shit someone really did a number on this girl.

“I’m sorry. I just don’t like talking about it.” Nodding, I finally let go of her. I hate the weird empty feeling I have when we don’t touch in some way. I don’t even know what the hell it is.

Pulling into the driveway, Laney’s mouth hangs open. I know this is far more than what she’s used to.

“Welcome home.”

                           
 
Laney

“No, nope. Absolutely not. How the fuck did you even say yes to a hundred a week? That is like freaking pocket change compared to what this is worth.” I know I’m huffing right now but this place is far nicer than I thought it would be. I haven’t even gotten out of the car yet and I can’t believe it.

“It’s just a house, Laney. Besides, I already own it.” I watch Gavin shrug like it’s no big deal before he climbs out and walks to the back of the truck. Yeah, that made it so much better, NOT.

I climb out and walk to the back joining him but instead of helping unload boxes I just stare at him.

“What are you looking at?”  Gavin sets the box he’s holding on the ground and looks back at me. I can’t believe he didn’t tell me the house was this damn nice.

“I can’t rent a room here. I can’t afford it.” I pick the box up off the ground and put it back in the truck.

“You can afford it. We already made the deal.” Gavin grabs the box and sets it back on the ground before reaching for another.

“No, we never discussed a huge fucking house!” As I bend down to grab the box again, Gavin stops me. His hands land on mine making me free the box.

He pulls me up to stand, his eyes meeting mine.

“It’s just a house. Materialistic type shit. We made a choice, you agreed. Calm down and lets unload this stuff.”  Gavin’s eyes hold mine in a silent standoff that I cave in and lose.

“Fine. Fine, you win.” Gavin smiles as he lets go of my hands and grabs the box once again.

“I always win.” Gavin chuckles as he walks towards the house. I can’t believe he just said that to me.

I follow him inside with my arms loaded with box and bags when he stops at a door.

“This is your room.” Pushing it open with his foot, I follow him inside.

“We can stack your stuff over there.” He nods towards the empty closet. I walk over setting the stuff down as I take in the room.

It’s massive to say the least. Its triple the size of the one I had at Steph’s. It’s painted a dark beige that matches everything in the damn room.

“He’ll have the rest out tomorrow. What do you think?” What do I think? I think this isn’t a $100 a week room. This is more of a $250 a week room but I don’t say that.

“I think I should be paying you more.” Looking down at my feet, this just doesn’t feel right. How the hell can I only pay him $100?

Gavin walks over stopping in front of me, I can see his boots.