If Ever I Fall (3 page)

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Authors: Erin Trejo

BOOK: If Ever I Fall
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Laney

Rolling over I’m glad it’s the weekend. After the catastrophe at the club the other night I felt like an idiot. I even called Josh and blew him off but he’s on his way over now.

My heart slams in my chest with the knowledge of my past relationships and how they ended. I really like Josh and I hate for this to end but I just have the feeling that it’s going to.

After I take a shower I pull on a pair of yoga pants and a tank top to await the inevitable.

“Why are you wearing that?” Steph stomps past my room before backing up to look in at me.

“Because it’s clothes.” Stating the obvious seemed like a good idea. Shoot me, I’m a smart ass.

“Josh is on his way and you put on that camel toe hugger?” Pointing at my pants, I laugh.

“I figured I might as well scare him with the camel toe before he sees anything else that freaks him out.” Shrugging I walk past her and out to the kitchen. I grab a bottle of water before she stomps in behind me.

“Why do you think every man is the same? You have so much more going for you than you think. Those scars are.”

“Hideous. Ugly. Freaky.” Recapping my water I hear the knock on the door.

“You didn’t let me finish!” Steph whines as I laugh and walk past her. The girl has a heart of gold and I love her to death for it.

I open the door to find a smiling Josh waiting on the other side. He is so damn cute in that preppy boy kind of way. I like preppy boys.

“Hey beautiful.” Josh grips me around the waist pulling me against him and I gladly let him. I might as well savor the last hug.

“Hey, glad you came.” Josh kisses my neck as I suck in a breath. His lips feel amazing on my skin.

“I’m leaving.” Steph stomps past and out the door before I can even respond.

“What’s with her?” Josh points over his shoulder freeing me from his grasp.

“Who knows?” With a slight shrug, Josh’s hands move to the hem of my shirt yanking it over my head.

His eyes flicker to life as he drops his head sucking my nipple into his mouth. The moan that escapes me is music to his ears. I should make him stop before it goes too far but the way he’s touching me is making me horny as hell.

“I knew you would taste amazing.” Flicking his tongue over my nipple I arch my back, pushing closer to him. God, I want those lips back on me.

Josh’s hand grips my breast firmly before sucking the other nipple into his mouth, repeating the same torturous motion as he did with the first one.

My hands find their way into his hair, tugging slightly. He moans against my body before he stands back up fully.

His lips brush over mine as shivers shake me to the core. He makes me feel so much that I hate to end it like this.

“We need to stop.” Josh pulls back looking at me, yes I’m insane.

“What?  Why? I thought you wanted this?” The question in his eyes just hurts me that much more.

“I do. I just need to tell you something first. My legs are deformed.” He shakes his head not understanding after I just blurted it out.

“I was burnt when I was little.” Josh nods his head slowly but doesn’t speak at first.

We stand in an awkward silence for a long time before he runs his hand over his face.

“So, by deformed you mean, they are like peg legs? Or, I don’t get it.” Josh chuckles slightly but there is nothing funny about this. I knew this was going to end badly. I knew it.

“What the hell? I’m not a fucking pirate you idiot.” Yanking my pants to the floor I let him see me for who I am before I think it through. I guess the peg leg comment just pissed me off more than I thought.

Josh’s eyes travel my legs taking it all in. I see it on his face. The disgust, the embarrassment of what it would be like to be seen with me without something covering my legs. It’s all there plain as day for me to see.

“So you don’t go to the beach or anything?” Yanking my pants back up I look at him like he’s crazy. Is that really the first question he asked me?

“Bye Josh.” I walk around him holding the door open for him to leave but he just stands there like a dumbass.

“I don’t really want to go. It’s just…”

“Bye Josh.” 

                                                            

                               
 
Gavin

Having Jenna back in the house so much is a little strange. I don’t know if I even like it anymore. The more she’s here the more annoyed and agitated I become.

I can’t complain about the sex or the dick sucking because that is fucking amazing but just her presence is bothering the hell out of me.

“Can we go out today?” Jenna walks out of the bathroom pulling her hair into a bun on top of her head.

“I don’t feel like it. Besides I have practice. You want to come hang out?” Jenna wrinkles her nose which answered that question for me.

“What about Halloween? Are we having a big party? Are we getting sexy costumes?” Fuck the girl has been here for a few fucking days and she already wants to move in.

“Jenna, we aren’t having a party. We aren’t having shit. You said you wanted to date again not move in. You have been here for days.” I watch the smile curl her lips up as she pulls her shirt over her head. How the fuck does she expect me to argue my point with her half naked?

“How about a private party?” Licking her lips she climbs up the bed pulling the blanket down. Of course my dick is rock hard and standing straight up.

“We need to talk about this shit.” I can’t finish when her lips just sucked me into her wet mouth. Her head bobs up and down as she takes me all the way in.

Hitting the back of her throat, I grip her hair in my hand. This girl can suck like a fucking vacuum.

“Shiiiiittt.” I hiss out between my teeth as she keeps going. I knew she was good at this but holy fuck it’s been a while since I’ve experienced it.

The faster she bobs the higher I get. Damn I want this girl to make me come.

“Suck it, fuck!” Growling, I push her further down onto me. Hitting her all the way in my dick swells right before I blow my load down her throat.

That was a rough one too. Jenna gags as she tries to swallow what I keep blowing. As hard as I come I should donate to the sperm bank. She just sucked down around a million and a half possible kids right there!

Yanking her head free, I watch her lick her lips.

“You want to eat me next?” Glancing over at the clock, shit nope.

“No. I’m fucking late.” Rolling off the bed, I hear her whine a little. I know this is way fucking rude but I do have a band that I committed to. Oh, shit I used that word.

“You might want to get dressed. You know Sean doesn’t like you being here by yourself.” Dragging my jeans up my legs I glance over at her. She looks completely pissed off but I don’t live here alone.

“Really nice way of jumping back into the dating there Gavin.” Jenna pulls her skirt back on before putting her shirt on. I am a shitty boyfriend by all meanings of the word.

“You knew the deal before you came back. I do what I do.” Pulling my boots on I run my hand through my hair while I wait on her to finish.

“I guess I didn’t think that through.” Jenna mumbles under her breath but I caught it. I don’t say anything either, it is what it is.

“You want me to drop you off on the way to the studio?” I grab my keys, wallet and phone sliding them all in my pocket before heading out in the hallway with Jenna on my ass.

“Can’t we just hang out here tonight?” Her hand runs up my arm before traveling to my chest. I would fuck her in the hallway but I am in no mood for it.

“No he can’t. We have plans.” Sean slams his bedroom door and looks over at us. I can’t help but smile. He just saved the day.

“Fine. Call me later.” Jenna stomps out the front door as I laugh my ass off. Sean doesn’t find it funny.

“Tell me why that hoe is back?” Slapping his shoulder, he glares at me.

“She wanted the D man. I told you, bitches love the D.” 

“Do you realize just how nasty you really are? No wonder you can’t get a decent chick.” Sean laughs as I follow him outside.

“Are you jealous?” I watch Sean shake his head before he laughs.

“No one is jealous of you. Are you going to Freddie’s tattoo tonight?”  As we climb in, I contemplate that one. I have wanted a new tattoo for a while now.

“Maybe. Mom isn’t coming to the studio today is she?” Sean belts out a laugh as he pulls out of the driveway.

“Fucker, if she knew you had that tramp back at the house she would fucking go postal. I’m talking straight aim to your head. She hates her you know?” I already know all of this.

My mom has warned me about hooking up with “these kinds of girls.” She doesn’t like the loud mouth whorey dressing kind. At least that’s what she calls them.

“I know. Everyone hates her. Hell I don’t know if I like her most days.” Sean laughs as we keep driving.

This is going to be a long fucking day.

         

                               
 
Laney

Walking down the block I savor the cool breeze. It’s October and honestly it’s getting colder by the second. I love the cold though; no one questions what I wear. Usually in summer I get the strange looks for having pants on all the time.

My phone starts to ring as I walk into the little Halloween shop. I freaking love Halloween. I can be anything I want to be and no one questions my motives.

“Hey lover.” I knew Steph would be calling. I’m sure Josh the crybaby called and told her that I was mean to him and threw him out. I really should stop dating people she knows.

“Why the hell did you throw him out?” I can almost picture Steph stomping around right now with her hand on her hip.

“He freaked. He caved like I knew he would.” Same talk different day.

“Laney, did you even give him a chance?” I run my fingers along the costumes hanging neatly on the racks as I walk towards the back.

“I did. He blew that chance. He called me a pirate.” Giggling softly at that, it was kind of funny. Maybe I should be a pirate for Halloween with my peg legs.

“He did not! You over react.” I hear the slight giggle in her voice too.

“He asked me if I had peg legs, Steph. Think about it.” I hold up a tinker bell costume and laugh at how short it is. Not happening.

“Oh my god! That fucking loser.” Finally she gets it!

“I’ll be home late tonight too by the way.” I keep looking through the costumes but nothing jumps out at me. Last year I went as a penguin just because I could. Hell, I like to be different in that manner of speaking.

“Where the hell are you going?” 

“To use my gift certificate you gave me.” Steph screams into the phone, which I have to move away from my head as people stare at me.

Covering the mouthpiece, I mouth the words, “She is mentally unstable.” At the guy that watches me. What? Don’t judge.

“You are finally getting the tattoo? I want to go with.” This is why I didn’t tell her. I wanted to do this on my own.

“No. I am going not you. You just make me nervous.” Pulling another costume off the rack, I laugh to myself. Yep, this is it!

“That’s mean! Fine, I won’t be home tonight though. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” Steph hangs up as I examine my costume. No one will see this one coming.

I head to the front and lay it on the counter as the little girl that checks me out snickers to herself.

“Why is it funny?”  I pass her the cash as she slams her mouth shut. Oh did I catch you on that one?

“It’s a little childish don’t you think?” Now it’s my turn to laugh.

“I don’t need to dress like a hooker to have a good time.” Taking my change and my bag, I head out of the shop and straight towards Freddie’s tattoo parlor.

Steph gave me a gift certificate on my last birthday since a friend of hers, Alex works there. He seems like a nice guy if you’re into the tattooed, pierced and purple haired kind.

Pushing the door open, I take in the newness. I have never been in a tattoo parlor before.

“Can I help you?” Holy fuck. That chick has more holes in her than a pin cushion.

“I have an appointment with Alex.” The words come out very slowly as I lean in and look at all the piercings she has going on.

“Can I touch them?” Being the weirdo I am I had to ask.

“No. Follow me.” Refrain from giggling. That’s what I keep telling myself as I follow the pin cushion down the hallway.

She stops at a door that is cracked before ushering me inside.

“Laney, how are you?” Alex smiles from his seat as he gets his gun ready. Slight nerves creep up on me as I sit in the chair next to him.

“I was good but fuck me, now not so much.” Alex looks over at me and follows my gaze back to the machine in his hand.

“It looks scary but it isn’t. You ready?” I nod as I pull my shirt over my head. Hell, I don’t mind being shirtless it’s the bottom half that bothers me.

“How’s Steph?” Alex speaks as the machine buzzes right before touching my skin. It’s actually not as bad as I thought it would be. In fact, I kind of like the sting. Great, mark that down on my weirdo chart.

“She’s good.  She’s been occupied with Brad.” Rolling my eyes, I love Brad he just gets a little too uptight for my liking.

“I heard he was proposing to her this weekend.” I almost jerk myself out of the seat when he says that.

“Are you kidding? I guess I need to start looking for a new place.” Sighing I lean back against the seat while he works.

“I wouldn’t rush it. Who the hell knows with those two.” He’s probably right but I have been thinking about this for a while.

“I think it’s time. I have been living with her far past what we decided on. I need a second job though.” And there is the problem. I don’t make a lot being an assistant and I know I need a second job if I want to live on my own.

“Welcome to the real world.” I lay my head on my hands while Alex does his magic. I let the buzz of the machine hypnotize me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                              
 
Gavin

“Do I want to know what the fuck you’re doing creeping around in the back of my shop?” Freddie walks over with his arms crossed over his huge chest. If the man was any fucking bigger he’d be the damn hulk!

“Shut up man. I am trying to listen to what this chick’s saying.” Sticking my ear closer to the door, Freddie pushes me making me fall into it.

“Privacy policy. Learn about it dipshit.” Freddie looks pissed but there is a slight grin in there too. Hell Freddie knows I’m not right!

The door flies open and Alex looks between me and Freddie waiting for someone to speak. Fuck, I’m not telling him I was eavesdropping.

“Did you need something?” Alex looks around again when I almost lose it.

“Nope. Just hanging out.” Freddie glances in the room and nods at the girl. I swear it was Laney that I saw come in here. I saw her walking right before coming in here and disappearing and since I already technically stalked the other rooms I figured this one was hers.

“What the fuck is wrong with you two?” Alex looks between us again when Laney steps up next to him.

“Thanks Alex.” She leans up and kisses his cheek before turning to face me. My nerves fire off when I see her with him. A bout of nausea chokes me. What the hell is it with this girl that sets me off?

“Hey.” She smiles as she walks past me towards the front. That’s all I get is a hey?

“Hey wait a minute, Laney.” Smiling over my shoulder at Freddie I follow her out the front door.

“Laney!” She stops walking, spinning around to face me.

“What kind of tattoo did you get?” Narrowing her eyes at me, my heart races. I feel nervous. I actually fucking feel nervous talking to this girl.

“Lotus flowers.”  Shit she is going to walk away again. How do I get her to stay? What the hell am I even doing?

“Why?” Slowly she turns to face me again. This time the amusement is clearly etched over her features.

“Because I like them. Is there something you wanted?” Holy shit, did she ask me that? Hell yeah there is something I want. I want to kiss those little pink lips of hers. I want to fucking taste her, to feel her like I did that night at the party. I want to know why every time I see her I feel like I’m choking to death, gasping for air.

“I heard what you said in there that you’re looking for a place. My brother’s moving out this week to live with his fiancé. I’ll have a room for rent.” Did I fucking just ask this girl to move in with me? Looking at her face, yeah, yeah I did. Way to go, Gavin!

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” She giggles slightly but the smile on her face melts me. How is she so fucking gorgeous but she doesn’t know it?

“Why not? I need a roommate you need a room. Rent’s cheap, the house is nice. Private bathrooms. Plus I’m in and out a lot so you won’t see me much.” Please say yes. Please say yes.

I watch the wheels in her mind spinning. She’s thinking about it.

“Do you want to go get a beer?” Did she ask me that or am I hallucinating? I stand there like the biggest fucking loser in the world watching her before she speaks again.

“Are you ok?” Shaking my head, I nod and swallow hard.

“Yeah, let’s go.” Way to play it cool Gavin.

We don’t talk as we walk towards the bar and I don’t know how the hell this girl affects me the way she does either. It’s intriguing but down right irritating too. I have never been one to be nervous or shy around girls. I’ve always been the aggressor but Laney is different and opposite of what I go after. So why do I feel like a giddy school boy who just got his first hard on?

I follow Laney into the bar where all eyes land on her. She has a natural beauty that everyone sees but her. I don’t think she understands it.

Taking a seat at the back of the bar we order some beers. Laney seems lost in her own mind though.

“So, how long before you want to move?” Her attention jolts back to me with those deep dark eyes. Hell, I could get lost in those and never come back.

“I don’t know. It was just a thought not really a set time frame.” I watch as the bottle touches her lips as she takes a drink of her beer. They look so damned soft.

“Are you really watching my mouth?” I can’t believe she just said that me. No one has ever made comments about me looking before. She continues to surprise the hell out of me.

“Maybe. I can’t help it if you have perfectly plump little lips.” Laney laughs and it’s like angels singing. I can’t believe the things that are coming into my head right now.

“Anyway, I have a room. It’s a nice house. Fireplace and everything.” Laney drinks her beer as she eyes me. I know she’s trying to read me but I don’t know how well that’s going.

“Let me get this straight. You want me to rent a room from the man that won’t stop staring at my lips like he wants them wrapped around his dick? Do you really think that would work out?” I don’t know what to say here but the playfulness in her brings it out in me. That’s something I thought I would never see happen.

“Which part? Living together or the dick sucking? I’m pretty sure I can make it work either way.” Laney lights up with laughter. I have never had a woman laugh at obscene things the way she is right now.

“Ok. How much is the rent?” Holy shit! Did I talk her into moving in?

“Whatever you want to pay.” Taking a long drink of my beer I try not to look into those piercing eyes afraid of becoming lost again.

“Anything I want?” She watches me for a reaction. She will get a reaction.

“$100 a week and I clean the house.” I sit still like I’m pondering the question. I already know the answer to that.

“Deal.” I hold my hand out to her across the table as she stares at it. Unknowing of what the hell I’m doing, she reluctantly takes it in hers.

“You are such a bullshitter.” She laughs as she pulls that little hand of hers out of mine. I almost react and grab it back. I want to feel that buzz that comes from her when we touch.

“I don’t bullshit. You have a deal. I will even help you move.” Motioning to the waitress to bring a few more beers, I lean back in my seat praying this is the right choice. I just asked a complete fucking stranger to move in with me. A woman at that!

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