Idolize (Dark Storm Book 1) (4 page)

He was still limping slightly as he headed over to the studio. He could grin and bear it for any of the shots though. Gemma was finishing her scene. She came over and threw her arms around his neck, planting a kiss on his lips. He felt nothing. She couldn’t seem to get it into her head, he wasn’t interested. The relationship was something the publicist thought would be good for the show, but he hadn’t been keen. He did the photo shoots and public appearances. Well, that wasn’t completely true. The pair of them had gotten drunk and he had no memory of anything except she was in bed with him in the morning. He didn’t believe her when she said they’d done the deed, and he wasn’t repeating the performance.

“That’s enough, Gemma. This isn’t going anywhere,” he whispered, so no one else heard.

“It’s enough when I say it’s enough. There’s a rumor going around you have someone else.”

“There wasn’t an us, to be a someone else. Let it drop or I might not be so nice.” He kept up the smile as they broke apart and she blew him a fake kiss.

Hours later, the takes were all done and his ankle throbbed like crazy. All he wanted was to get home. Jack drove him, which wasn’t the most relaxing experience either. Jack seemed to forget he was just on the highway and not some racetrack.

“Well, have you sent her a text yet? You need to, because you’re being a pain in the neck to me and everyone else. If they needed to do that scene again, someone was going to kill you and I’d have helped them.”

Declan wanted to wait until he was nowhere near Jack, but his brother was right. The problem was it was now eleven at night. He looked at his phone.

“Just tell her you want to bang her again, and you know how much she liked it last time swiveling on your dick.”

Declan shook his head. “There’s a reason you’re a stunt man, and it’s because you’re shit with words. I don’t know how you get laid.”

“It’s my amazing cock, and what I can do with it, bro. Sorry you didn’t inherit it too, mate. You can’t say anything anyway. I’m not the one playing with my junk in the trailer.”

Declan’s fingers hovered over the numbers on his phone. He had been friendly and suggested casual meet-ups so far. She hadn’t responded. Maybe Jack was right. He needed to cut to the chase and say it like it was.

I need to see you again. It’s three days and I can’t stop thinking about you. Just say the word and I’ll not contact you again, if it’s what you want.

He hit send, closed his eyes, and pressed his head back. This was crazy. He had a great job, big house, and everything he ever wanted. Since that weekend, his world had been turned upside down by Cassi. By the time Jack pulled into the house there was still no reply.

Declan changed and lay on the bed, waiting for the painkillers to kick in so he could sleep. The world was starting to seem hazy when his phone dinged.

What were you thinking about me?

His heart pounded, now the moment was here, he wasn’t sure what to say. Would he sound like Jack if he told the truth and said he wanted her here, under him right now?

The sex. I can’t forget the sex.

Silence. He stared at the phone, but nothing. Twenty minutes went by.

Me too.

He needed to play this carefully or she would block him. If she did, then he would never find her. There was no way he was going to risk that. He didn’t even have her last name, and for all he knew Cassi might not be her real name anyway.

I want to see you again.

He stared at his cell waiting for her to block him.

Not sure that’s a good idea.

He was sweating even though the AC was on. He’d guessed that would be her answer, but at least she was still talking. Jack had music going in his room, and Declan hoped his brother would not think to make an unexpected visit if Cassi agreed to what he was about to suggest.

How about phone sex?

Silence again. She was killing him slowly.

I’ve gone red at the suggestion. I’ve never done it.

She wasn’t giving him a flat out no. He was getting hard just at the thought she would say yes. His heart was beating wildly in anticipation.

I like the idea of making you blush. If I call, will you pick up?

Silence. He was watching the minutes tick by as he ran his hands through his hair.

Yes.

Fuck, she said yes. He dialed the number straight away. It rang, and for a second, he thought she’d changed her mind.

Then she answered. “Hi.”

He wanted to take it slow though the sound of her voice and that one word turned him on so much. He needed her to feel comfortable or this was going nowhere. He so wanted it to go fucking everywhere.

“It’s good to hear your voice again. I saw you from the chopper. Hope the rest of your hike was good.” He was shit at small talk. This was going to hell if he kept it up.

“It was great. It gave me time to think about what happened. I suppose you didn’t?” She was laughing and he took that as a good sign.

“No. My manager was more concerned with set delays than my pain. Did you come to any conclusion, about what happened from your hike?”

“Only that I don’t regret it. How’s your ankle?”

That was a pretty immediate answer and he went with the positive.

“It’s aching a bit after today on the set. I’m in bed now with it resting up on a pillow. Where are you right now?” Her voice was low and he wondered if anyone else was around.

“I’m in bed. I have to work early tomorrow. Everyone else is asleep and the lights are turned down. Look, I’m not sure what to do, Declan; maybe this is a mistake. This is a bit weird.”

“Everyone feels funny the first time. Let me talk, and you only have to say or do anything you want. Stop whenever you want to. I’ll start chatting and let’s see where it takes us. I’m stripped to the waist, Cassi. Do you remember how you started with kisses on my neck? Swirling your tongue just below my ear, and trailing down my chest?”

He held his breath, waiting for her response.

“You’ve a lovely body. It was easy to get turned on by it. I’ve never been with a guy with a six pack before and it was fun to turn you on. I’m not sure why, but I felt safe. That’s a big thing for me.”

“I’m turned on listening to your voice. I’m hard already. Half the time at work when I shut my eyes, I picture you on top of me, straddling and riding me. Sorry if that’s a bit much, but it’s a beautiful image.”

Was he fucking this up? When he’d had phone sex before with other people, they just went for it, talking dirty right away. This was different and he needed to go slow.

Cassi groaned and his dick jerked as the thought of what she might be doing. He reached down and put his hand inside his boxers. His balls were so tight he thought he would come with one stroke if he touched his dick.

“Are you touching yourself?” He needed to ask.

“I’ve an ache between my legs. It’s like I’m craving you. My legs are open wide and I’m placing my hand there. Oh my God, I can feel the heat coming through my panties where I’m so hot.”

For someone who’d never done this before, she was a quick learner. He closed his eyes and imagined his hand on top of her.

“Slip your hand inside and tell me how wet you are.”

Another groan. She was killing him.

“It’s so wet and hot as my fingers slip in and out. It’s like my body is clenching like it’s you inside me.”

He could hear her breathing was becoming more rapid and he was almost coming.

“My cock’s so hard for you. I’m moving my hand slowly back and forth. I want you to do the same with your fingers. I’m imagining your mouth is sucking, and I can feel I’m getting closer as you swirl your tongue around the top of my dick. If I was with you, I would do little circles with my tongue on your clit right now.”

He could hear her breath coming in little rasps. He closed his eyes and imagined her rubbing her clit. He started to move his hand faster on his dick as he played with his balls. His body jerked off the bed as he imagined she was on top of him riding him again.

“Move faster for me. I’m in you, Cassi. Thrusting and fucking you until you cry out. Come for me. I want to hear that noise you made when we were together in the cabin.”

Her breathing was getting faster and then he heard her gasp as she came. The amazing sound sent him over the edge with his own release, as he bucked his hips and spurted onto his abdomen. He lay there breathing heavily and listening as her breath slowed.

“Cassi. You okay there?”

“I’m more than okay. Shocked and satisfied are the two words that come to mind. I can’t believe I just did that.”

“You’re amazing. I’ll be back in a minute. Don’t go away.”

He cleaned up and settled back onto bed, grabbing his cell.

“I’m so glad you picked up the phone tonight.”

“Me too, though I never guessed I would end up doing that.”

“Do you still feel the same about not meeting again?” He had to ask even if it meant she said no.

“It’s complicated. This is simpler. I really enjoyed this, and the cabin. I’m just not sure I can have you in my life. There are people other than me to be concerned about.”

It was something he hadn’t considered. Could she be married? She hadn’t worn a ring. “If this is all I get for now, then I’ll roll with it. Thanks for trusting me.”

“I do, don’t I?”

She sounded surprised.

“I’m still not sure how you’ve managed that, as I’m a very untrusting person. It seems obvious we both want something from each other. This is all I can offer for now.”

He could hear her yawning. He liked to think she was worn out, but doubted it. If he had been with her, he would have adored her body for hours if he could.

“It’s enough. I’ll text you, and when you want to do this again, let me know. I wake up early and go to bed late.”

“I’ll be at work by seven. I’ll let you know when I’m free. I should get some sleep now. Good night, Declan.”

“Good night, Cassi, and I hope you have hot dirty dreams of me.”

“I just might.”

Chapter Three

The alarm went off and Cassi stretched out in her bed. She giggled, remembering the night before. What the hell? She’d taken part in phone sex, and it had been amazing. She used to split her sides with laughter when Sasha told crazy stories of her romantic assignations. This was on another scale of astounding herself. Giggling wasn’t something Cassi did a lot, but it felt good. What with a job, studying, and little Tommy to look after, having fun had not been a priority.

This guy Declan was getting to her, which was remarkable as she’d put a pretty big wall around her heart. It seemed he was trying to knock it down one brick at a time. Why? He didn’t know her. If she experienced many more orgasms like the one the night at the cabin, then the whole thing would come crashing down.

Steve and his great sex had been her downfall when she was younger, and she wasn’t going to fall for that again. She needed to keep Declan at a distance. Maybe the phone sex was a way she could have fun without the commitment.

She needed to get Tommy up, so thoughts of Declan, his sexy voice, and his wonderful body would have to fade into the background. She wandered into Tommy’s room and gazed down at her son. He would sleep through the nights now, which was good. Six months ago, he would still wake up crying. She would wake up trembling in fear.

Cassi gave him a shake. Tommy sat up and rubbed his eyes. Risking her own heart again was one thing, but she wouldn’t risk her little boy. Declan wasn’t offering his heart anyway. They were just two adults having fun. Was it so bad to want a bit of fun? It could be, if Steve found them. Tommy had been through enough. The thought of his dad getting back in their life was too much to contemplate. She needed to think with her head and not her heart, or her nether regions.

“Come on. Time to get up. Toilet and breakfast, and then we can drop you off at Tina’s. Don’t forget to wash your hands.”

Sasha was out making noise in the kitchen. She must have gotten a call from work again to be up already. Sasha put the kettle on as Cassi got some mugs out of the cupboard. It was a little house needing repairs, but they couldn’t afford anything else. She would have ended up living in a trailer park after she left Boston if not for Sasha. She saw her mad friend from school as a guardian angel who offered assistance when she needed it most. Of course Mom and Dad still hated Sasha, which just made her love her more.

Tommy sat at the table and started to chow down on the cereal before him. He finished it while she shoved a piece of toast in her mouth.

Sasha rinsed her bowl and pulled a snarky face. “I have to help out in the kitchens today as Cook called in sick again. The boss should start paying me more if I’m going to keep doing Cook’s work. I’ll try to help you clean the second-level rooms when I’m done. I’ll take my own car, though, as I needed to get there like ten minutes ago.”

“That’s fine. To be honest, it doesn’t take long to do the rooms. It’s more because Mrs. Winters wants to chat which slows things down. I always feel sad for her because the family doesn’t visit. She said your cooking is wonderful and she likes it when Cook calls in sick.” Cassi finished her toast and started to pack a lunch box for Tommy.

“That’s nice to hear. Tell her to mention it to the boss, and that I should get more pay. I wanted to ask if you were all right last night. I thought you were going to rush to the bathroom. You were groaning like you had a gut ache or something.”

“No, I was fine. Just the time of the month, but it’s better this morning.”

Cassi could feel herself go red as heat wafted over her. If there ever was a next time having phone sex with Declan, she would have to be quiet. Maybe sticking a pillow over her head might do it, though it might spoil the mood.

“Yeah, you look a bit flushed. You would even match my hair right now. It’s a pain to have to work. I’ve just cut it, and I’m going to have it under a hat all day. I’ve a date with a cute drummer tonight as well. I really wanted it to look good,” Sasha said, as she ran her fingers through her spiky, short pink cut.

“Love the color. It looks great and I’m sure you’ll work your usual magic when you get home.”

Cassi loved her friend’s cute pixie look, though it would look awful on her.

“I like pink,” Tommy said, as he pointed at Sasha’s head.

Sasha ruffled Tommy’s hair as she picked up her bag to leave.

“Pink today, but who knows, tomorrow it could be blue. You’re a clever boy with your colors. Hey, I could change my hair color every week and he would know all the colors in a couple of months. We could have vermillion and turquoise.”

Cassi shook her head but smiled, knowing her housemate would need no encouragement to do just that.

“I think pink or blue will be quite sufficient.”

Within a half an hour, Tommy was busy running around with the other two kids Tina looked after. Ten minutes later, Cassi pulled into the parking lot at the retirement village. She could feel her phone vibrate in her pocket and resisted pulling it out. The boss was good, but if she spent the day looking at her cell he would say something. She needed this job too much.

Plus, if Sasha caught her looking at her cell later, she would want to know what was so important. Her friend was great, but also incredibly curious. Cassi would take one peek now and stick it in her bag until she finished work. All she needed was willpower. Right.

Woke up thinking about you.

If he said she was sexy or was ready for another call tonight, she would have brushed it off. The thought that she was the first thing on his mind when he woke up was a bit too much, especially when it was the same for her. Down went another brick in the wall. A part of her wanted to write ‘me too’, but that might mean taking this somewhere else. She was taking this too seriously. Of course he was thinking of her. She chatted sex with him. Cassi needed to get a grip and to get into work. Would she reply? If she did, it needed to be something non-committal.

I usually have hot chocolate, but you were a great nightcap.

The response came back fast.             

Glad to be of service anytime.

The trouble was it would be so easy to take him up on that.

At work now.

Me too. Text when you want to chat or get up to anything else.

He was putting the ball back in her court as to whether this continued. She shoved the phone in her bag before she said, ‘right now’. She had visions of the boss coming out and finding her playing with herself as she sat in the car. A week ago, she had been a sensible adult, and now she was playing with fire. She had no intention of getting burned again and needed to think straight.

Sasha waved at Cassi from the kitchen as she got her cleaning cart from the cupboard. She would concentrate on the job and try to keep the picture of a certain TV star out of her head. It was almost lunchtime and she’d cleaned the bottom floor of the home. She bet cleaning toilets wasn't a part of Declan’s daily routine. The glamour of a TV star wanting her lost its shine as she cleaned.

The afternoon cook would be on soon and Sasha would help her with what was left of the rooms. The retirement village was a beautiful place with wonderful gardens and private rooms. A lot of the residents kept to themselves, but a few would mingle in the commons area. Cassi grabbed her lunch box and headed out the back of the kitchen to sit in the sun while she ate.

So far she’d resisted getting out her cell while she chomped on her sandwich. Then, she reasoned with herself, she always checked on whether there were messages from Tina about Tommy. There was nothing from Tina or Declan, so he was standing by what he said that it was her choice. She didn’t have a clue what she would do.

“Do you mind if I come and sit with you dear?”

Cassi looked to see Mrs. Winters walk around the corner of the kitchens. The residents' area included a beautiful patio where they could have lunch, so she was surprised the elegantly-dressed woman would want to sit on an old bench, out back near the bins.

“No, I don’t mind, but is there something you want? I’ll be finished with lunch in a minute. I was going to do your room next.”

“No, I don’t need anything. I just wondered if I could chat.” She sat down and was silent for a moment, as if contemplating what to say next. “I wanted to ask a favor. Sasha told me you have a little boy. Please don’t be annoyed, I wheedled it out of her when I heard her talking to you one day. His name’s Tommy, isn’t it?”

Cassi wondered where this was going. She liked to keep Tommy away from prying eyes.

“Yes. His name’s Tommy, but what can I do?”

“My son moved to New York a few years back, and I only have one grandchild. I get to see him at Christmas. I wondered if you would be willing for Tommy to come and visit me. We could draw, paint, dig in the garden or cook, and you would be present at all times. It would just be nice to spend some time with someone younger.”

Cassi hadn’t expected that. Tommy was a friendly boy, so it would be fine, but was it what she wanted to do? Cassi bit her lip, hesitating. Mrs. Winters peered at her, as though waiting for an answer. Cassi thought the woman expected her to say no.

“I could pay you some money that you could put toward things for him. I can’t imagine they pay you a lot here.”

“No. I wouldn’t need that. I’ll talk to him about it. We could try once and see how it goes. I might need to check with the manager though.”

“I hope you don’t think me forward, but I already checked that out before I spoke to you. It would mean a lot to me.”

“I’ll let you know after I talk to him, Mrs. Winter.”

“Call me Audrey.”

“Maybe not when the boss is around, but I’d like that.” She didn’t know if this was a great idea, but she went with her gut for now. She liked this woman and reckoned she was merely lonely.

Audrey smiled as they stood up, and she then embraced her. Cassi could feel tears coming to her eyes. Her own mother never hugged her, or it was so far back she couldn’t remember her ever having done so. There was never a chance of a hug after she met Steve. He was an asshole so she couldn’t blame Mom for that one. Cassi could blame them for not taking her back when she was beaten up with a babe in her arms and on the run. Mom used to say “you’ve made your bed of roses with the thorns, so lay in it.”

Audrey walked back to her designated resident area of the home and Cassi suddenly realized how little physical contact any of the residents made with anyone from outside.

One stranger offered her comfort and another stranger offered her fun. This was one unusual week. She was happy to take on some new experiences as long as things stayed safe. The door to the kitchen opened and Sasha walked out.

“That’s it. Food is on its way up. I tried some little French tarts. The boss said I better not upset the tender stomachs of the residents or I’ll be in trouble. Not sure what he’s worried about as most of these guys have lived a life on caviar. I think they can cope with my quiche. Was that Mrs. Winter I saw?”

Cassi noticed Sasha was biting her bottom lip and looking away. Her friend didn’t usually act coy.

“It’s okay. She said you told her. I don’t mind her meeting Tommy. I reckon most of the folks here are not that bad. Some I think, were foolish when they were younger from what I hear. Most thought love would buy them things and are shocked to find themselves alone. Audrey seems different. She’s sort of like you and me, but with cash.”

“That’s a big distinction in my book. She is unique though, and she loves my food, so she is obviously highly intelligent. I really didn’t tell her anything she didn’t know. Plus, she just wants to feel alive again. I did think of smuggling her out to one of my friends’ parties, but thought it might give her a heart attack.” Sasha said.

“I should get back to work.”

The two of them worked together and everything was done in a couple of hours. Later, when she was at home with Tommy, Cassi put his artwork he had done at childcare up on the fridge. Even at four he was drawing beyond his age. That was a skill from his father, as she could barely draw stick figures. Steve was so talented she sometimes wondered how much of it was the drugs, and how much was innate. It didn’t matter since she wouldn’t go back to the violence now that her little boy was happy.

She told Tommy about Audrey and he said he was excited to do some more painting. Cassi wasn’t sure how much would end up on the paper and not on him.

As Tommy watched cartoons she opened her computer and started her next assignment. Only another six months and she would have a bookkeeping certificate. Sasha came and looked over her shoulder.

“I don’t know how you can do that stuff. All I see is numbers that don’t mean a thing to me.”

“It’s weird, but I like it. It was about the only thing I was good at when I was at school. It also means I won’t be a cleaner forever if I can get a job doing someone’s books.” It was a pity she had never finished her business degree, but there was nothing she could do about that now. She would need money to do that and she didn’t have any.

“As long as you’re not cooking the books for the mafia. I’m going to shower and get ready for my sexy date with my cute drummer. I’ll see what I can do with my hair. I’ve brought some quiches home from work for supper. I made too many and the boss said it was okay. Just don’t tell Tommy there are vegetables hidden in them.”