I See You (6 page)

H
annah heard Lisa’s voice outside. She glanced at the clock on the mantle, and then went to the front door to peer into the darkness. Lisa, who had just gotten out of her car, was talking to Rayanne’s husband, Chet, who was out taking his fluffy little black-and-white dog for a walk. The lively Havanese was on a leash and straining to get going. Hannah could not hear what Chet and Lisa were saying but she watched them wave at one another, and then Lisa came up the steps to the house. Hannah moved away from the door and let her enter.

‘Yikes. You startled me,’ said Lisa accusingly. ‘What are you doing hovering by the door like that?’

‘Come down to the kitchen,’ said Hannah. Without waiting for a reply she turned and went down to the kitchen at the end of the hallway. She had a feeling that this discussion could get intense, and she didn’t want to wake up Sydney, asleep in her bedroom at the other end of the house. Lisa, still wearing a lab coat over her untucked shirt and jeans, came into the kitchen, casually opened the refrigerator, and pulled out a bottle of iced tea. Before Hannah had a chance to state her grievance, or demand an accounting, Lisa went on the offensive.

‘Mother, what in the world happened tonight with Tiffany?’ she asked.

For a moment, Hannah was dumbstruck. Then she stared back at her. ‘What happened? Tiffany called me to come get Sydney when you didn’t show up. That’s what happened. I had to leave work and run over there. You were nowhere to be found.’

‘I was at the hospital. I couldn’t get away. When I got to Tiffany’s, there was nobody home. I didn’t know what had happened to Sydney. I called Tiffany’s cellphone and there was no answer.’

‘You were an hour late,’ Hannah said accusingly. ‘It was just lucky Tiffany was able to reach me. I went and got Sydney.’

Lisa collapsed onto a stool, rested her elbow on the counter and pushed her glasses up, rubbing her eyes. ‘You could have texted me.’

‘I could have,’ Hannah admitted. ‘But you didn’t do me or Tiffany the courtesy of letting us know what was going on.’

‘You know,’ said Lisa coldly, ‘this is not like working at McDonald’s. A doctor can’t always predict how things are going to go. Sometimes situations arise.’

‘Have you forgotten how to use a phone?’ Hannah cried. ‘There was nobody there to pick up your child. Especially with Troy out of the picture.’

Lisa looked at her with narrowed eyes. ‘Why do you say that?’

‘She told me. Tiffany told me. You had your boyfriend come and pick Sydney up at daycare. You told her to call him,’ Hannah cried.

‘He’s a nurse,’ said Lisa evenly. Then she corrected herself. ‘He was a nurse. He was very responsible.’

‘Why was he picking her up at all? You hardly knew this man. How could you?’ Hannah demanded.

‘Don’t be ridiculous. Of course I knew him. We dated for months. Sydney liked him. I brought her out to the fishing camp a number of times. Tiffany wanted an extra contact number, just in case. So I gave her Troy’s number.’

‘You should have had her call me.’

‘Mother, you do enough for me and Sydney as it is. I couldn’t bear to ask for any more favors.’

‘And tonight? Why didn’t you call Tiffany to tell her you’d be late?’

‘I didn’t have time to call anyone,’ said Lisa as if explaining bedtime to a stubborn child. ‘We had an emergency and they were assessing our responses.’

‘So that’s it. You just leave her.’

‘What is it you don’t understand about the term emergency?’ said Lisa, peering at her mother as if she were simple-minded.

Hannah shook her head. ‘You need to watch that attitude of yours.’

‘Mother, I am tired,’ Lisa said. ‘I’m under a lot of pressure. In case you’ve forgotten.’ She raked her fingers absently through her dark, uncombed curls.

‘Yes, I know. So am I,’ said Hannah. ‘Believe me. Life has been very tiring lately.’

‘Oh, because of me,’ said Lisa. ‘Because I obviously deserve to be standing trial for killing Troy Petty.’

‘I didn’t say that. I didn’t mean that,’ said Hannah. ‘And you know it.’

‘I’m not so sure,’ said Lisa.

Hannah took a deep breath. ‘Look. No one could believe in you more than me. But no matter what is happening in your life, that’s no excuse for neglecting Sydney. You have a child who depends on you. Your child has to come first. Always.’

Lisa sat silently on the stool. Hannah could not tell if she was fuming, or just reconsidering. Finally she said, ‘You’re right. You’re absolutely right.’

Hannah sighed, her anger spent. She sat down opposite Lisa, her indignation derailed by the sight of her daughter’s haggard face. It pained her to see Lisa looking so embattled. She worked so hard at her studies, and Hannah couldn’t even imagine how draining that had to be, especially with a child at home and this trial to worry about, the press following her every move. Her mother’s instincts rose to the fore. ‘Lisa, I know you’re tired. I know how much this is taking out of you. And being a parent isn’t easy. But there are no days off from that responsibility.’

‘I hate it when you talk about responsibility,’ said Lisa, rolling her eyes.

Hannah smiled. ‘I know you do.’

Suddenly, Lisa frowned and lifted her head. ‘What’s that?’ she said.

‘What?’ Hannah asked.

Lisa shook her head. ‘I thought … Yes, I hear it again. Do you hear something?’

A weak reedy voice was crying out plaintively, though it was barely audible.

‘Who is that?’ said Lisa. Sliding off the kitchen stool, Lisa walked out of the room and back toward the front door.

Hannah hesitated then followed behind her daughter.

The street was quiet, except for the sound of rustling leaves. Clouds scudded across the moonlit sky.

‘There. Now,’ said Lisa.

Hannah didn’t hear anything, and was about to say so, when Lisa held up a finger in warning. ‘There,’ she said.

Suddenly Hannah heard it. It was a low, keening sound, intertwined with the sound of the wind. They walked out into the yard, looking to either side. Lisa peered through the garage windows while Hannah went to the sidewalk and scanned up and down the street.

‘Lisa. Look.’

In the yard two doors down a man’s bent legs were half hidden by a wide, blooming crape myrtle. Lisa sprinted to the man’s side. Hannah followed close behind her, and gasped when she recognized him: Chet, pale and sweaty. His dog was lying beside him, making piteous noises.

‘Oh my God,’ said Hannah.

Lisa fell to her knees, lifting Chet’s wrist to take his pulse and asking him questions. Chet’s voice was barely audible in reply.

‘Take it easy,’ Lisa said. Without looking up at Hannah, she issued commands in a calm voice. ‘Mom, go and get my bag. It’s in the front hall. Hurry. And call for an ambulance.’

Hannah rushed to do what she was told, dialing 911 as she ran. ‘I’ll get Rayanne,’ she called back.

Lisa nodded dismissively, intent on what she was doing. She had begun to compress Chet’s chest with her clasped hands.

Hannah grabbed up the medical bag, than ran to the Dollards’ house, and roused Rayanne, who was nodding off over a crossword puzzle.

‘I knew it!’ Rayanne cried. ‘I knew he wasn’t feeling well.’

They could hear the sirens already. As they rushed back to where Chet lay, they saw Lisa working feverishly over him. She was competent, professional and completely focused on saving the life of their old family friend. Hannah felt her heart swell with pride. She was suddenly furious at the preposterousness of the charges against her daughter. Lisa was young, and she had her lapses of behavior, like anyone young. But this was someone whose mission in life was to save lives. Not to take them. ‘It’s all right,’ Hannah said to Rayanne. ‘Lisa’s got this.’

‘I know,’ Rayanne whispered. ‘Thank God she’s here.’

The ambulance arrived quickly and Chet was loaded inside while Lisa talked to the EMTs, explaining how she had found him, and what she had done to treat him.

Rayanne wanted to climb into the back of the ambulance with her husband but the EMTs were firm. There was not enough room. Chet was in a dangerous condition and they needed to work on him.

‘I’ll drive you,’ said Hannah. ‘Come on.’

As they hurried across the lawn back to the driveway, Hannah stopped to speak to Lisa, who was headed back inside the house. ‘I’m going to take Rayanne to the hospital. She’s too upset to drive.’

‘OK. Sure,’ said Lisa.

‘If you’re hungry, there’s some leftovers in the fridge …’

‘Go. I’ll be fine,’ said Lisa. ‘All I want to do is sleep.’

It was four a.m. by the time Hannah returned home with Rayanne in tow.

Chet had spent hours in the emergency room, and in X-ray. It was hours more before he was resting comfortably in CCU and Rayanne was able to see the doctor. She kept urging Hannah to leave her there, that she would get a taxi home. But Hannah couldn’t bring herself to do it. There was so much lonely downtime at the hospital. She just wanted to keep her friend company in these most stressful hours. Rayanne finally saw a doctor at around three o’clock, only to learn that Chet’s condition was stable now, but was going to require surgery. Rayanne was advised to go home and get some rest. The two women walked out into the starry night, crossed the parking lot and got into Hannah’s car.

‘I can’t thank you enough,’ said Rayanne.

‘Don’t be silly,’ said Hannah. ‘You’ve always been such a help to me.’

Once in the driveway, Hannah made sure that Rayanne was safely in her house and the lights were on before she went into her own quiet home. She only turned on a few lights, not wanting to wake Lisa and Sydney, who were, most likely, fast asleep. She wished, more than anything, that Adam were home, and she could crawl into bed beside him, and rest up against his strong, warm body. But he would be gone for another day. Despite her own exhaustion, she was keyed up, and not quite ready to get into bed. She took a shower, got into her pajamas and a robe, and made herself a cup of cocoa. She still did not feel sleepy. She didn’t want to turn on the TV. The noise might disturb the sleeping girls.

Finally she went into the living room, sat down in the corner of the sofa and picked up her iPad. She wanted to flip through screens looking at recipes or movie-star news or anything that would require no thought or energy.

The headlines on her home page were not very intriguing. Luckily, not a lot seemed to have transpired in the world since she had last looked. She noticed that she had a few new emails. The advertisers never slept, she thought. They never quit. She opened her email account, and saw that, as she suspected, she had breathless offers from the usual companies. She deleted them one by one, and then she noticed that she had an email from Taryn Bledsoe, the mother of Alicia, one of Lisa’s high-school friends with whom Lisa still hung out occasionally.

The email had no title but for a series of exclamation points, and it did have an attachment. Hannah frowned at it curiously. She and Taryn, who worked as a legal secretary, had been friendly when Alicia and Lisa first went to high school together, but their relationship had been strained when the girls were suspended for a prank they pulled together. In recent years, though the girls remained friends, Hannah had hardly seen Taryn. Hannah opened the email and looked at it. It was only one line. ‘This is called asking for trouble.’

Hannah’s heart started to pound. Trembling, she opened the attachment. It was a photograph of Lisa. With the superb technology of current phones, the photograph was crystal clear despite the fact that it was taken in a dark bar. Lisa was wearing a blouse which was unbuttoned to reveal a black push-up bra. She was hoisting a bottle of Jack Daniel’s to her lips, her eyes merry. Hannah’s scalp prickled and her stomach churned as she stared at it. The photo was dated and timed that evening. The time when Hannah was picking up Sydney. The time when Lisa was unreachable, ‘delayed’ at the hospital by an emergency.

H
annah thought about waiting for morning. She knew how tired her daughter was. How badly she needed her sleep. But right at this moment she didn’t care. She went into Lisa’s room and shook her.

Lisa’s eyes shot open but they looked merely puzzled at the sight of her mother. ‘What?’

‘Get up,’ she said. ‘Come with me.’

Lisa was too groggy to argue. She pulled on her robe and followed her mother down the hall to Hannah’s room. ‘What’s going on?’ she mumbled.

Hannah closed the door behind them and turned on Lisa. She held up the iPad with the photo on it. ‘Do you want to explain this?’

Lisa squinted at the image. ‘Is that my iPad?’

Hannah stared at her. ‘No, it’s ours. And I want an explanation.’

Lisa shrugged. ‘What is there to explain?’

‘You told me that you were held up by an emergency at the hospital. Instead, it appears that you went out drinking when you were supposed to be picking up your child.’

Lisa frowned. ‘What are you talking about?’

‘Don’t deny it, Lisa. This photo has a date. And time.’

Lisa yawned. ‘All right. Yes. I went out. I figured that you would get Sydney. I needed to relax. I had a drink. Couldn’t this have waited till morning?’ she asked, rubbing her eyes.

‘Are you kidding me?’

‘Sorry. You’re right. Sorry,’ said Lisa.

‘Sorry? That’s all you have to say? Besides the fact that you neglected your child and lied to me about where you were,’ Hannah cried, ‘you were in a public place! Under the terms of your bail, alcohol is forbidden.’

Lisa rolled her eyes. ‘The alcohol police.’

‘They can revoke your bail if you get caught.’

‘I’m not going to get caught,’ said Lisa with a sigh.

‘Oh, really? This picture might be on the front page tomorrow,’ Hannah said, shaking the iPad at Lisa.

‘How did you get that, anyway?’ asked Lisa, squinting at the photo.

‘Taryn Bledsoe emailed it to me. To warn me.’

‘She’s always been a tight ass.’

Hannah was furious. ‘She wanted me to know that you are in danger of losing your freedom. If the court gets wind of this …’

‘I was with some friends. Nobody’s going to rat me out. Just chill, Mom.’

Hannah glared at her daughter. ‘Don’t you tell me to chill. We put our house on the line for you. For your bail. If your father knew that you went out drinking …’

‘I’m sure you’ll tell him,’ Lisa observed drily.

Hannah shook her head, incredulous. ‘Do you realize how serious this could be? For all of us?’

‘And you’ll remind me a million times. Look, I didn’t ask you to put your house on the line.’

‘Did you think we were going to let you sit in jail?’

‘You could have,’ said Lisa.

‘No, we couldn’t. Of course we couldn’t. We love you. We’d do anything for you. I don’t understand how you could be so careless!’

‘I’m still young, all right?’ said Lisa ruefully. ‘Sometimes I just need to … blow off some steam.’

Hannah looked at her daughter, shaking her head. ‘Believe it or not, I do understand that,’ she said. ‘But people are looking for any excuse to blame you. To look at you and say, “See! Of course she killed that guy. She’s wild, she’s out of control.”’

‘I’m not out of control.’

Hannah felt her temper rising again. ‘What do you call this?’ she asked, shaking the small screen at her daughter.

Lisa did not reply but her face was an expressionless mask, as if their conversation was turning her to stone. There was a silence in the room and, once again, Hannah was grateful that Adam would not be home until tomorrow.

‘Well?’ Hannah demanded.

‘Fun,’ said Lisa bitterly. ‘I call it fun.’

Hannah closed her eyes and balled her hands into fists.

‘Are we done?’ said Lisa.

‘Go back to bed,’ said Hannah.

‘Look, Mom, I didn’t do it to upset you. I just …’ Lisa shrugged. ‘Sometimes I feel like I have to … forget everything.’

‘Good night, Lisa,’ said Hannah.

Lisa opened her mouth to speak again, and then thought better of it. She left the room, pulling the door shut behind her. Hannah went and sat in the rocker by the front window. Years ago, she had sat in that same rocker, in their first apartment, holding Lisa, her baby, rocking and daydreaming. Imagining her daughter’s life. College and marriage. Fame and children. In all her wildest dreams, she had never once imagined a murder charge with her daughter accused. Rocking that baby, it was impossible to imagine such a thing. Now, all these years later … Hannah sighed and gazed out at their leafy front yard, their quiet street. It was impossible still.

The next day Hannah nearly knocked over Jackie Fleischer as she arrived late to work, and barreled through the front door of social services.

‘Oh, sorry,’ Hannah said. ‘I’m so sorry. Am I too late for the meeting?’

‘You didn’t miss much,’ said the psychologist. ‘I’ll fill you in.’

Hannah sighed. ‘Thanks. I owe you.’

‘Did you have your coffee yet?’ Jackie asked.

Hannah shook her head. ‘I was up late, and I forgot to set my alarm. So I ran out of the house. I haven’t had anything.’

‘I’ve got that espresso machine in my office. Come on.’

Hannah didn’t really like espresso but she was grateful, and seriously in need of some caffeine. She followed Dr Fleischer into her office.

The walls were covered with framed photos of waterfalls and forest canopies, along with occasional close-ups of unusual birds or exotic flowers. The effect was both colorful and soothing. Dr Fleischer and her husband, empty-nesters, often went on adventurous trips to observe and photograph the wonders of nature.

Hannah took the cup that Dr Fleischer proffered, and sat down. She added a packet of sugar and took a sip. It seemed less bitter than the occasional espressos she had had in fancy restaurants. In fact, it was pretty good. She sipped it carefully.

‘I’m a wreck,’ she said.

Dr Fleischer sat down in the corner of the loveseat in her office. She cocked her head and looked at Hannah. ‘So what’s going on with you?’

Hannah sighed. ‘Well, you know my daughter is out on bail, waiting for this … trial to begin. She’s … chafing, shall we say, with the restrictions. Letting certain things slide. Acting up a little bit when she should be keeping her nose clean. She’s never been good with … limits.’ Hannah was aware, even as she said it, that she was soft-pedaling Lisa’s offenses, that she desperately wanted this psychologist to agree to how normal Lisa’s behavior really was.

‘How are
you
feeling?’ asked Dr Fleischer. ‘This is obviously taking a toll.’

‘I just want to help her get through this,’ said Hannah. ‘Once this horrible trial is over, we can get our lives back.’

‘You seem pretty confident that it will turn out well.’

Hannah shook her head. ‘Oh, don’t kid yourself. I’m sick with worry. I mean, it’s a trial. With a jury, anything can happen. We just have to rely on Lisa’s attorney to get at the truth.’

‘Which is?’

‘Well, either it was an accident, or somebody else is responsible for Troy Petty’s death. I don’t expect the attorney to produce the guilty person. That’s not her job. Although she certainly charges enough. But I do expect her to show the jury that Lisa had nothing to do with it.’

‘Do you and your husband talk to Lisa about the case? Is she able to shed any light on why she got blamed for this? Besides that thing with the paycheck, of course …’

Hannah blushed and shook her head. She shouldn’t have been surprised. Every detail had been in the papers. ‘She meets with the attorney all the time. She doesn’t really want to dwell on it. We get our information from the internet or the paper, just like everybody else.’

‘But she must tell you what the attorney said.’

‘Honestly,’ said Hannah, ‘she doesn’t really talk about it.’

Dr Fleischer shook her head. ‘I’d have to insist on knowing if I were you.’

‘I want to. But I try not to lean on her too much.’ Hannah frowned, thinking of their arguments from the night before. ‘I mean, sometimes I forget because she has such a demanding profession, and a child, and she’s still just a young girl.’

‘You seem to have the weight of the world on you,’ Dr Fleischer observed.

‘Well, she’s my daughter. I can’t even bear the thought that somehow, by some judicial error, she might be …’ Hannah couldn’t even bring herself to say the word ‘convicted’.

‘No, of course not.’ Dr Fleischer tapped her chin with her slender fingers. ‘It’s got to be weighing Lisa down too.’

Of course, Hannah started to say. And then, for a split second Hannah thought of the photo on the iPad. Lisa’s unbuttoned shirt, and that wink as she slugged the Jack Daniel’s. Hannah’s stomach seemed to shrivel inside of her, and she felt the coffee sloshing acidly in her gut. Then she shook her head, as if to shake the image out of her mind and shake off its effects. ‘Of course,’ she said. ‘Of course it is. She’s only human.’

The phone rang in Hannah’s pocket and she fished it out. She looked at the name on the caller ID, and then she looked at the psychologist.

‘I have to take this,’ she said, setting down her coffee cup. ‘Will you excuse me?’

The psychologist nodded, and Hannah gathered up her things and answered the phone at the same time, stepping out into the hallway.

‘Yes?’ Hannah expected to hear a voice telling her to wait for Ms Fox, but instead it was the defense attorney herself.

Marjorie Fox skipped the pleasantries. ‘You need to get down here to the courthouse right now. Lisa’s already here with me.’

‘Why?’ Hannah asked, with a sickening feeling in her stomach.

‘There’s a problem. A photograph on the internet. Meet us there in twenty minutes.’

Oh God, no, Hannah thought. ‘I will,’ she said.