How We Lived (Entangled Embrace) (10 page)

Chapter Eight

-Kelsey-

I sat between Chase and Vito in the Vito’s Ristorante van. The ride was bumpy and I kept getting thrown into Chase. There were definitely worse things. Eventually, he threw his arm over the bench seat, nonchalantly, like he hadn’t masterminded the entire plan to get me seated basically in his lap.

After the tenth time of saving myself from falling into him by almost planting my hand on his crotch, I was about ready to offer the money to fix the van’s shocks. My parents would agree that was a worthy cause. Screw the statues on every street corner, fixing the van should be a priority. They didn’t want me anywhere near Chase’s crotch.

Thank God they were at work in a whole different part of town. I looked at Chase, who was staring out the window, his gaze passing over houses and mailboxes and front yard trees. He was so much like the boy I remembered then, but circumstances had changed. My parents would probably never forgive him, let alone accept him. Was it even possible to have a relationship in this situation? I curled my fingers around his hand. I wasn’t sure. I only knew that being next to him made me feel better. If we were going to keep spending time together, we’d have to find a way without them knowing.

Needing to think about anything else, I turned toward Vito. “So, how did you get into this?”

“Well, Community Outreach was looking for a chef to donate some time and services for K—”

Chase coughed, interrupting him.

“You okay?” I asked, rubbing his leg.

He nodded. “Sorry. Breathed wrong.”

Vito’s eyebrows lifted, then he continued. “Anyway, they needed a chef for this new
program
Chase here was involved in, and well, I couldn’t say no.”

Shaking his head, Chase mouthed the word,
Liar
. “Please. Vito and the soldiers’ meals program is a match made in heaven. They can’t get enough of his food.”

“Well, it is good food,” I admitted.

Vito pulled into a driveway along a small ranch-style house. “First stop,” he announced.

Chase patted my thigh and motioned toward the house. “This is Private First Class Brown’s house. You want to come? Or are you going to pull the shy card?”

I looked from the house to Chase. “Um…are you implying I’m shy?” I pushed him toward the door. “Excuse me, I have volunteering to do.”

He laughed. “Okay…”

I hopped out and met Vito, who was already in the back of the van pulling out to-go boxes. He explained their system to me and then handed me a box while he took two for himself. Chase met us around front and then we walked to the door together. After a minute, a young man answered. His sleeve was rolled up, like he was hot, except Private First Class Brown didn’t have an arm, or at least a whole arm. His sleeve was cuffed. I barely saw it and then he was gone, spun around on a crutch.

My stomach flipped. The poor guy. He couldn’t have been any older than me. Chase must have seen my reaction because he grabbed the box from my hand and told me I could go to the van if I wanted. I put my head down and walked slowly back. I played with the loose threads in the seat while I waited for them.

Moments later, Chase’s door opened and he hopped in. I leaned over and kissed his cheek. “You’re awesome,” I said. “Both of you.”

He and Vito grinned.

The next couple of stops, I helped match the soldier’s orders with the to-go boxes and got them ready so Chase and Vito could take them in.

At the last stop, Chase urged me to come with them. “You’ll really like this guy. Promise. He reminds me of your brother.”

Butterflies flew in my stomach as I followed them to the front stoop of a house similar to the houses on our block. Relatively large, comfortable, a lived-in feel. A bike was left tumbled over in the driveway as if someone had just jumped off, and other kids’ toys littered the lawn.

Vito knocked and a guy, only a little older than Chase, opened the door and stood in the doorway. His brown hair was short, buzzed, and he was skinny. Skinnier than I would’ve expected for being in the military. Skinnier than Kyle was when he was home.

He had a friendly face and was smiling from ear-to-ear. “I was wondering when you guys were going to get here. I’ve been hankering for Vito’s all day.” He held open the screen door and looked me up and down. “Hey, you’ve brought someone else.”

I smiled and just stood there until Chase poked me. “Oh, um, I’m Kelsey,” I said, my tongue suddenly dry.

Chase and Vito laughed before walking down a hallway and disappearing.

“It’s nice to meet you. I’m Randy.”

He motioned to a worn leather sofa so I walked around and sat. The walls were filled with pictures. There were ones of him throughout his early, gawky years, and some of another boy quite a few years younger than him. When I turned in my seat, Randy was limping toward the couch. I stared at his leg.

“Don’t worry, I’m fine. Tried to show my little brother how to do a wheelie on his bike yesterday and well, screwed up my knee when it caught my fall.”

I cringed, but I was relieved it wasn’t war-related. “That must have hurt.”

“Sure did. It was worth it though. He pulled his off like a pro.”

“How old?” I asked.

“Ten.” He snickered. “He thinks I’m a hero, or something.”

I looked into the hallway, wishing Chase would hurry. I didn’t know what to say to that. “Well, aren’t you?”

He leaned against the couch cushion. “You are a sweet-talker. I like you. You going to be here next time?”

“I don’t think so.” I laughed. “I think this is a one-time-only deal.”

“Those other soldiers scare you off?” He nodded toward the hallway. “Or is it the company you’re keeping?”

I looked down at my hands in my lap. “I don’t know…”

His face turned serious. “No, I get it. It makes you think.”

“Yeah, it does. Sometimes that’s not such a good thing.” I peeked into the hallway again.

“They’ll be out soon,” he said with a smile.

“I’m fine. Really.”

He cocked his head to the side. “So, Kelsey, you said, right? You look familiar.”

I shrugged; my gaze had caught on a green army man on the arm of the couch. Chase and Kyle used to have a few hundred of those things lying around. Maybe that’s where the whole army idea started for Kyle. I looked at Randy. “Not sure from where. I think you’re too old to have gone to school with me.”

“I’m only twenty-five. How old are you?”

“Nineteen,” I said, staring at the stupid green toy.

“Now, now,” Vito’s voice called from the kitchen. “No hitting on the volunteers, Randy.”

“Volunteer? Kelsey tells me she probably won’t come again.”

Vito emerged from the hallway and I stood. Randy did the same.

“Kelsey is Chase’s friend,” Vito said. “This is Kyle’s sister.”

I tensed. Did Randy know Kyle?

Randy looked away and ran his fingers through his short crop of hair like he was searching for something. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know…didn’t realize when you walked in.”

Footsteps sounded in the hallway and I wished Chase would hurry. I didn’t like where this conversation was headed. I could see it in Randy’s eyes. He was about to console me, or something close to it. This never ended well.

Chase’s arm slid around my shoulders finally and I realized I wasn’t breathing. I took in a long, lingering breath.

He led me away and out the front door. Once we were on the other side of the van, he pulled me into a hug. “You okay? You look like you’re about to lose it.”

“I’m fine.” I pushed against him, embarrassed. “He was about to comfort me. I hate that.”

“You hate it when people say they’re sorry?”

“Yes, because it makes it more real. Kyle should be here. He should be here helping you do this. Not me.”

“Isn’t that the fucking truth?” Chase slid his hand through my hair and cupped the back of my head. “We can be proud of the life he did live. Kyle saved innocent people’s lives over there. He was brave. He was a good friend. And brother.”

I clutched his shirt, catching my breath. “That’s what’s so horrible about it. Here you are doing something good and the only thing I’ve been doing the past five months is skipping classes and watching soap operas. I’m not worthy of anyone’s sorrys. I’ve done nothing.”

His face fell. “You never have to be worthy of something like that. People feel sorry for your pain, and pain just is. It doesn’t only happen when you’re worthy of it. God knows I’m not worthy of the pain I caused, but I feel it. Every day I feel it.”

Vito cleared his throat behind us. “Are you okay, Kelsey? Randy’s pretty embarrassed in there. He didn’t mean to make you upset.”

“I’m fine.” I unwrapped myself from Chase and stepped around him. “Can you give me a minute?”

I took a step toward the house, but Chase pulled on my arm.

His eyes were worried, a small frown crossing his face. “What are you doing?”

“I’m okay,” I assured him. “I’ll be right back.”

On my way to the door, I went over everything I wanted to say in my head. I didn’t care what Chase said. I was being selfish. The whole time I was in Randy’s house, I barely thought of what he went through. What he must have seen. I should be saying sorry to him.

Randy opened the door again, his earlier smile gone. “Yeah?”

He held the screen door for me and I slipped through. “I’m sorry,” I said, stumbling over my words. “I still get a little emotional over my brother, but I came back here to say something.” I stood taller. “Thank you. Thank you for serving our country, and you know…everything.”

Randy closed his eyes for a second, and when they opened, they were bright. His earlier smile flitted across his face. “Thank you.”

Then I was the embarrassed one. Opening the screen door, I said, “See you around.”

Chase waited for me by the passenger side. “What’d you say?”

“I told him thank you.”

…

After we got back to Vito’s and helped him clean up, Chase informed me he was taking me to a diner for dinner. I wanted to ask him if he should be driving again with his restricted license, but I didn’t have to.

“I’m allowed a span of three hours every day where I can drive around for fun, or buy groceries, go to the doctor’s, whatever it is I need to do. I just have to do all those things between the hours of three and six,” he explained.

The drive there was short. My mind was filled with all the rules he had to adhere to. The driving restrictions didn’t seem too horrible, but I wasn’t the one who had to follow them, either.

The diner he took me to was a little place on the outskirts of town. There were only a few senior citizens inside, so we would be safe from prying eyes. No one to tell my parents I was home from school, or more importantly, no one to tell them I was with Chase.

He ordered a burger, and I got a hot roast beef sandwich. He sat on the same side as me, right in my personal space again, but there was no way I was pulling away now. I leaned into him.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, I loved spending time with you today, but I can’t wait to get you back to my house.”

I shivered, thinking that sounded like fun. “Me, too.”

“If I could right now, I’d kiss you everywhere.” His voice lowered to a whisper. “I want you to know I haven’t been with anyone since…”

Heat rose to my cheeks. “Kyle died?”

“I thought you might be worrying because of my past reputation.” His eyes turned dark. “Someone once told me if I wanted something, I had to deserve it. At the time I was pissed, but it makes sense now. I’ve grown up a lot and I want—”

The waitress interrupted. “Here we go, darlings. Enjoy.” She set our plates down in front of us and walked away.

I mumbled a thanks and hoped Chase would continue after she left. He didn’t, but a tingle of acceptance crept up my spine anyway. He was going to say me. Chase wanted me, not some other girl. Not any other girl. He hadn’t been with anyone since Kyle passed. I placed a hand on his leg, trying to think of something to write in our code, but nothing simple came to mind. Everything was too complicated to write in code on his leg.

An angry voice filled the space between us. “You’ve
got
to be fucking kidding me.”

My heart jerked to a halt, and I quickly removed my hand from Chase’s leg. A body slid into the seat on the other side of us, and I knew who I would see when I looked up. Bear.

“Hey,” I choked out, trying to regain my composure after seeing the snarl on his face. “What are you up to?”

“What am I up to?” Bear growled. “Why are you eating with this trash? Didn’t I leave you in your dorm room last night?”

Chase stiffened beside me.

“Bear,” I warned.

“Kelsey? Are you serious? When did you start hanging out with him again?”

Chase opened his mouth to speak, but Bear whirled on him.

He pointed a finger right in his face. “Don’t you fucking speak to me, dick. I told you before I want nothing to do with you. I asked Kelsey.”

Chase looked like he wanted to rip Bear’s finger from its socket. Actually, they both looked like they could rip each other’s extremities off and enjoy doing it.

“Please don’t make a scene,” I begged.

Bear lowered his hand and took a deep breath. “Come on. I’ll walk you to your car.”

Though Chase was right next to me, he felt miles away. Both of them had acted like I was their little sister before. It wasn’t new to feel small next to them, to feel like I didn’t have a choice. Bear restrained himself because I asked him to, and now he was politely asking me to get away from Chase. Part of me wanted to please him, but he would find out sooner or later I hadn’t driven my car…and I was seeing Chase. Whatever that meant.

“I’m okay,” I said. “Really.”

Bear fixed me with a stare that hardened by the second. “Think of your brother.”

My hands curled into fists. He was taking this protection thing too far. “I haven’t
stopped
thinking about my brother.”

Kyle loved Chase. They were practically brothers. He wouldn’t want me to never talk to him again. Especially now with the volunteer work Chase chose to do.

Bear’s shoulders sagged. “Please come with me. I’m supposed to go back to work, but I won’t. Let’s talk. If you need someone to talk to, I’ll talk. Just not him.”