How To Walk In High Heels: The Girl's Guide To Everything (40 page)

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Authors: Camilla Morton

BOOK: How To Walk In High Heels: The Girl's Guide To Everything
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Retrieve pillows from floor, puff and place them back in prime position. Then try to resist the temptation of leaping back under the covers again . . . it will only make you late.
Another, more speedy, way to put a duvet cover on is to fold the cover back so that it is three-quarters inside out, then put the duvet in the remaining quarter, lay it on bed and fold out remaining section.
How to hoover the stairs
Hoovering can be one of the most glamorous and body-toning tasks about the home. This is not to say that you want to do it all the time, but it is a great opportunity to get out your heels and practise on carpet – with the vacuum cleaner as your pushable stabiliser. It’s an ‘in house’ way of checking you can walk on carpet backwards and forwards at varying speeds.
However, it is best to do the stairs in either flats or bare feet, and probably on your knees.
Take the hose part of the vacuum cleaner – this is often located at the rear – and unwind. With the thing all plugged in, on, and so forth, get going with the nozzle, leaving main body of hoover at base of stairs. Don’t overstretch the tube; when you are finding it hard to reach an individual stair, go down, get the hoover, unplug it and take it to the next landing, or top of the stairs, and locate a place to plug in up there. A drag but necessary, but now double caution is needed because if you overstretch or pull too hard, the whole thing could topple and land on top of you, and that would be a calamity, plus a visit to casualty.
When designing and decorating, consider a darker or user-friendly colour of carpet. Beige and naturals may be chic but require much more audience participation in general upkeep.
How to wash up
Fill the washing-up bowl, in the basin, with hot water and enough washing-up liquid to provide a generous supply of bubbles. Take off your rings, bracelets and watches, and disregard any claims that they are waterproof – why risk it on a pudding bowl? Locate your Marigolds, the only brand of rubber gloves to wear, and slip these on. Despite advertisements singing the moisturising benefits of soapsuds on skin they surely only mean the bathing type, and ladies do not want hands that feel as though they have done hard manual labour.
Roll up cashmere sleeves and cover any silk or satin tops with an apron to avoid any stray splashes.
Take plate and scrape any excess food into bin, rinse well, before placing in bowl – you don’t want salad floating about and complicating matters.
J cloths are good for detailed or fiddly objects, such as forks and teaspoons, whilst larger objects deserve a twirl with a washing-up brush as well as cloth. Wash smaller objects first, then big, and don’t leave too many things in the bowl or else you might lose them. You can leave things to soak; and for saucepans and oven dishes this is often a good idea – just don’t forget that you need to come back to them. The secret to washing up is common sense, but then if you have any of this why don’t you have a dishwasher?
How to load the dishwasher
As with washing up, first you need to scrape the plates, empty glasses and so forth. Liquids pour into the sink, food and debris into the bin. Rinse off any sauce that seems indelibly stuck on the surface as dishwashers can clean but they can’t work miracles.
Place objects into the machine in sensible secure positions. Glasses and mugs on rails at the top, plates and larger objects on bottom shelf, and cutlery in the plastic holder – but try to turn so handle is down in holder and fork prongs and heads of cutlery are sticking out and up, so they are able to get in maximum cleaning contact.
How to get the right sparkle
‘Square-cut or pear-shape, these rocks don’t lose their shape. Diamonds are a girl’s best friend’
Lorelei Lee,
(
Marilyn Monroe),
in
Gentlemen Prefer Blondes
A diamond is the most constant thing that you can have a relationship with. It’s an investment and it sparkles. As Shirley Bassey said, ‘Diamonds never leave you – men do!’
It is quite a common (and sensible) complaint to have an ‘allergy’ to ‘cheap’ jewellery. Nickel-coated rings and fake frosting may work in your teens, or indeed from a distance, but should never be passed off for the real thing. Not only will they stain your fingers, or the skin they are in contact with, they dull with age. The real thing is not lacklustre. Some extremely fortunate girls have a real allergic reaction, where the skin can go red and blotchy if forced to wear a fake. You really don’t want to risk finding out if you fall into this category.
How to clean your rocks
If you are building a collection to rival the crown jewels, or, at the very least, Liz Taylor, it is worth having a vague knowledge on how to make it sparkle. Diamonds are the ultimate symbol of love and, suitably, the symbol of high maintenance. Assuming that someone has bestowed upon you some real rocks, and the diamonds are as close to flawless as possible, follow this simple rule: if it is worth insuring, it is worth knowing how to clean it. Marilyn was right, but there are other worthwhile purchases, aka gifts, worth accepting. They include your birthstone, so make sure you know which gem you are.
Month
Stone
Colour
January
Garnet
Deep Red
February
Amethyst
Purple
March
Aquamarine/Bloodstone
Pale Blue
April
Diamond
White/clear
May
Emerald
Green
June
Pearl/Moonstone
White/Purple
July
Ruby
Red
August
Peridot/Sardonyx
Pale Green
September
Sapphire
Deep Blue
October
Opal/Pink Tourmaline
Multi-colour/Pink
November
Citrine/Yellow Topaz
Yellow
December
Blue Topaz/Turquoise
Blue
Your birthstone may not be the most flattering for your colouring so you needn’t be too literal with the interpretation; for example if you met in July a ruby would be a nice thought.
Anniversaries, high days and holidays should not be neglected. It is worth reminding all suitors that anything from Tiffany’s is welcome any time of the year. Gifts are not solely for birthdays, they can make random days special occasions.
Back to the job at hand. Don’t waste time cleaning costume jewellery or anything cheap. Just as you only dry-clean the tricky stuff, so too should you only clean the real gems. And if it turns out your engagement ring doesn’t need cleaning, chances are he is a fake. Why in heaven’s name are you accepting?
Before you start, check that there are no wobbles or loose settings, clasps or stones. A careful dab of superglue and a squeeze with a dainty pair of pliers may be needed here, but if it requires something more than a common-sense ‘tweak’, take it to a jeweller’s where they have all the right tools.
Use a
non-abrasive
jewellery cleaner (i.e. something that will not scratch the stone; sandpaper is not appropriate). They are available in supermarkets or jewellers, or you can ad lib with soapy water and a cloth.
Dip cloth into solution and gently wipe and polish. Then, using another corner of the cloth, rinse and dab clean with clear water. Finally, with another corner, buff the ring or object of your affection dry.
With any cleaning agent, apply sparingly, and remove delicately yet thoroughly. With silver, the more you wear it, the less it tarnishes, so a good reason to aim to be adorned at all times.
How to knit one purl one, wash and sauna
by Julien Macdonald, fashion designer
Lots of people like knitting now. If glamorous icons like Catherine Zeta Jones are hand-making ponchos as Christmas presents, now is a very stylish time to start.
I’d choose larger needles if you’re a beginner as it is easier with big stitches, and you finish sooner. If you know how to loop the wool, tuck over and under, all you need to do is select the colour. Always go for something daring that stands out. If you don’t know how to cast on get someone to show you, or cast on for you, and you’re away.
I’ve been knitting ever since I was a child; when I am not doing crochet patterns I like knitting top stitch, which is a combination of plain and purl. Purl is the reverse direction of stitching to plain. They are the easiest to follow and doing these two together, alternating, gives a nice thickness to the yarn. You just loop round, under and through. Knitting is a technical art form; the pieces I produce for celebrities are couture, because they are hand-made. But once you can do it, you can take it anywhere; when I am stressed I find crochet very relaxing.
If you buy knitwear, look at the washing instructions. Nine out of ten times you can wash it; they are just being overcautious and lazy with their instructions. I wash my cashmere in the machine. Take a 100 per cent Egyptian cotton pillowcase, place the cashmere inside this and then select a gentle wash on your machine. I think the best brand of sud to use is the good old-fashioned grannies’ brand, ‘Snowflakes’, that I grew up with in Wales. It will bring the pieces back to life.
After the machine wash make sure you dry your knitwear flat, and never in the tumble dryer, unless you want to shrink it. Place your knitwear between two cotton towels, in a warm room. A sauna is ideal, and that way you can join it on the wooden slats; if not, a boiler is fine.
Try as you might, there is not much to be done about shedding. Always have a clothes brush near your door so you can give yourself a quick once-over before an evening on the town. If wearing black, avoid white as it will look like dandruff, and if wearing very fluffy angora, try and style with satins or denim, or see what fabric it clings to, and which doesn’t leave a trail. If all else fails, it can be worth putting your knit in the freezer for the night, but just don’t forget that this is where you have put it. This should rot dead mohair cells and stop them from moulting. When you take it out in the morning you should be able to shake off the excess, but brown tape and clever colour combination is always an option.
How to sew
A home should never resemble a department store at sale time, with button-less garments. If you spy something without a button, thread a needle.
Always have a full and healthy sewing kit or box at home, including a selection of coloured threads, plus your standard black and white cotton and needles. Fine to start with one of the hotel ‘complimentary’ kits but you will soon discover that their needles vanish or snag after one use and, inevitably, there is never quite enough thread to do much more than practise threading a needle.
Threading a needle
Cut the estimated required length of thread, not too short and not too long. Too short and you won’t be able to finish the job, too long and it will knot and tangle and leave you in a horrible mess.
Lick the end of the thread. This will stick all the fibres together so when you send it through the eye of the needle it is easier to push through.
Hold the needle in your left hand, and with the right slowly push the thread through the eye of the needle. Insert with the cotton pointing away from you, as if you insert the other way, things leap out of focus. For learners you can get needles with larger eyes, but remember the bigger the eye, the clumsier the needle, and the larger the holes punched in the fabric. It’s best to double up the cotton. This means you have equal amounts of cotton on both sides of the needle. Knot it at the bottom, or cast on by stitching a few running stitches on top of each other. That way the needle won’t escape from the job and it gives you double-strength stitching.
Before replacing a button look at how the others are attached. What shape they are sewn in: square? Cross? Vertical or horizontal lines? Copy so your button is part of the same team.
How to turn up trousers
Put on the trousers or garment to be hemmed. Stand in front of a mirror and decide whether you need to hem something up or down.
Fold and mark place with a pin then carefully take off. If you have an extra pair of hands assisting you, there is the option of pinning all the hem, or both legs of the trousers with the garment on. But if you are alone you can judge the rest from your strategic pin point. Don’t pin all the way round with your trousers on if alone, as all the bending up and down will keep altering the length.
Pinning may seem faffy but it is absolutely essential, especially on hems. The proverb ‘a stitch in time saves nine’ really does apply here. Check trousers are the same length: standing permanently at an angle could be tiring.
Once the hem is pinned in place the extra cautious, or first timers, should ‘tack’ with white thread over the pins, along the hem to be stitched. Tacking is big white running stitches that keep things in place while you sew your neat stitches on.
If you feel this is just not meant to happen, take it to a dry-cleaner’s as they nearly all have good alteration services. Another trick is to iron the trouser leg so you have a crisp fold to work with; it also helps cancel fabric pile-ups.
Finally, select and thread needle with cotton of the nearest matching shade to garment to be sewn.
Sew in the smallest neatest stitches that your eyesight deems possible. Try the herringbone stitch, which is a cross between running stitch and back stitch, as the stitching practically overlaps each other. Blanket stitch is another option; flowers and daisy-chain stitches, though, not ideal. Machining is not the norm for hems.
Stitch as close to the edge of the fabric as you can, trying to leave as little of the thread as possible showing on the topside. Invisibility is key here.

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