How To Walk In High Heels: The Girl's Guide To Everything (44 page)

How to book your holiday

When you have agreed on budget, dates and details of your trip you are finally ready to book. Hooray. This can be done direct with the hotels, on the internet or in a travel shop. Even if you don’t book at a travel shop it is still worth going in and getting a selection of brochures to browse, and seeing if they have any alternative suggestions.

If you are going overseas for a wedding, or any other specific event, it is worth asking if the bride and groom have any suggested venues, as big events tend to get group discounts or special rates for the occasion. If you have any friends or relatives in the hospitality trade, now would be the time to drop them an email, and see if they like you enough to hook you up with a good deal.

Just before you book, check that you can get time off work and it’s a sensible time to go. Confirm and reconfirm your flight and hotel reservations as these, particularly the travel bookings, tend to be set in stone once made. Make sure you have booked what you want, or else you may not make check-in on time.

It is also sensible when booking to check that your passport is up to date and in order. This will avoid any last-minute panics, and hours in a queue to renew it. Passports tend to take three weeks to renew in the post; emergency ones can be issued but they are often only a short-term solution and are a hassle your blood pressure would be much happier to pass on. Passport panics will also cause you to miss out on lots of last-minute shopping. Check with the agent when you are booking if you need any visas or vaccinations to get to, or be safe at, your chosen resort. Vaccines are usually only for the more exotic locations; cities tend to be full of man-made hurdles.

While thinking of your health, check that you have travel insurance and cover for any unforeseen emergency. You do not want to discover problems when you arrive. Deal with it before departure. Pick up travel insurance from the supermarkets or at the airport. Get annual cover so you are protected for all your little flurries overseas. Or indeed check to see if you already have it, as many credit cards offer it inclusive in their joining packages.

Photocopy your passport and leave a copy, along with your travel itinerary, with your parents/emergency contact. This may sound overcautious, but should you and your passport be parted by, say, a light-fingered local, back home can furnish you with all the details you need to speed your departure.

Most countries will have a British Consulate, and if where you are going doesn’t, check the country is safe to travel to. Do not visit war zones, leave these to Mother Teresa and Kate Adie types. Remember: life is not like the Bond films. Consulates cannot get you out of jail, act as your personal guide or give you a work permit. They are able to vouch for you, stick up for king and country, and hook you up with help in
emergencies only.

How to pack the essentials

Make a list of what you want to take and what you think you should take. Try to think about where you are going, what you will be doing and who you will be seeing. See if you can make the two lists tally.

Leave some room for shopping abroad. If you don’t manage this – well let’s face it, a suitcase is there to be filled – try to squeeze an extra holdall flat into your case for the amazing bargains and essential mementos of your trip.

Toiletries, toothbrush, make-up/sun protection, first aid and hair products are all essential. Yes, quite possibly you can buy shampoo in New York, sun cream in Sydney and a toothbrush in Tokyo but who really has time to look for this sort of thing? Far nicer to bring your own, and do not be fooled into thinking the hotel will have nearly enough shampoo to keep your locks luscious; those bottles are never quite big enough. Phone chargers and contact numbers and addresses you might need on location should be accounted for here.

Pack in stages. Ideally, lay stuff out in piles the week before so you can live with your choices. Things should be subject to a brutal edit, before passing the final selection and getting consigned to the case.

Write a list of what you are packing as you fill your case. Not only will this show you what you are taking in black and white, so you can assess whether seventeen white vest tops for a two-day trip is excessive, but it is also a godsend if the suitcase doesn’t manage to rejoin you at the other end.

How to shut a suitcase? Ah, now that’s another thing. Try everything, push and pull, squeeze and plead, and if all else fails sit on it and hope that you don’t have to open it till the other end. If only Mary Poppins’s bag was a reality. Just remember that the more you squash the more creases you have to deal with at the other end.

You do not have to pack a suitcase that you can lift, but one that someone else can lift, or at very least help you drag across to a trolley. You only need to be able to stagger from house to cab, cab to trolley, arrivals to trolley and cab driver to cab, and then hotel staff take over. If a frequent traveller, get one with wheels and aim not to greet your public after a long-haul flight.

Yes, flights do have a weight restriction – see what this is on your ticket – but in an emergency you could always pay excess baggage or have it sent separately to your destination. As long as you do not exceed restrictions, or requirements that vary with every journey, there is no law about what fashion you put in your case, just try to contain it all in your case. There is nothing worse than seeing M&S knickers flying all over Terminal 2. Try to travel with a gentleman who aims to prove the age of chivalry is not dead. Travel husbands are great for carrying cases, finding trolleys and dealing with check-in, leaving you to focus on Duty Free.

Just before you leave, put the padlock on the suitcase, check your reservation and that tickets are all in order. You can email the night before you fly to re-re-confirm, as this will help them avoid any double bookings that are really too much to deal with, especially after a long-haul flight. But don’t come over as too needy and neurotic before you arrive.

As you shut the front door, leave a note cancelling the milk, check that you have passport, ticket, Visa.

How to travel

‘Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do . . .’Cos you’ll look sweet upon the seat of a bicycle made for two’
Harry Dacre

This is up to you, as obviously when you travel you will be doing it in style. However, that is not dependent on being in first class, or having a complete set of Vuitton luggage, although both of these certainly help.

Do consider all your options: the most uncomfortable – the tandem; then there is most expensive – a private jet; the most romantic – the gondala; the most environmentally friendly – a glider or sail boat. The decision is yours. There is always a car, coach and train, but why not jazz things up and look at a trip on the Orient Express, the Trans-Siberian Railway, or take the Eurostar rather than the normal commute? Sailing encompasses everything from canoes to cruises. Then of course there is flying. Sadly there is no longer a supersonic trip on Concorde on offer but private helicopters and hot air balloons are very nice. Horse-drawn carriages, elephants and camels are also options, but they are rather slow and have limited on-board entertainment.

A brief history

‘I love flying. I’ve been to almost as many places as my luggage’
Bob Hope

Although man always looked to the sky, until the 1400s it remained exclusively for birds. In 1492 Leonardo da Vinci started to draw and theorise about flying machines, but things didn’t take off until the Montgolfier brothers invented the hot air balloon, in 1783. The bicycle was invented in 1790, the railway locomotive in 1814, but nothing else successfully left the ground until 1899, when Ferdinand von Zeppelin invented the first airborne dirigible. In 1903 the Wright brothers invented the first engined aeroplane, five years before Henry Ford and his automobile. Man landed on the moon in 1969, and in 1970 the first jumbo jet took off. With that, commercial flights and Concorde the world became a much more accessible place. Next thing you know the holiday in space will finally become reality. Lift off.

Airport amusements

It is essential to arrive early at the airport. Not only does it give you time to do all the necessary check-in and security rituals, but the early bird baggeth the best seats.

Upgrading is not an everyday occurrence, but it is more frequent than winning the lottery. It is at the discretion of those behind the counter who gets the bulkhead and who gets sat next to the toilets. Smile. Remember that happiness is mainly dependent on the mood of the person at the check-in desk, rather than the number of seats sold on the flight. Be nice. Ooze charm. Dress smartly, but not so smartly that you will feel uncomfortable; ballgowns are bulky, basques and excessive underwiring will set off all the metal detector alarms and wide-brimmed hats will prevent you from viewing the in-flight movie.

In economy good seats to ask for are the ones next to emergency exits, as they often have more leg-room, although they can be colder. On long-haul flights opt for the middle section at the front of the plane, as this is where the fold-down area for travel cots and tots is and so there’s a bit of extra room. The downside is that a screaming infant may be brought on to use the area. But if you have to be ousted to make room for the travel cot there’s a chance that you could be upgraded.

Also try to have compact hand luggage, ideally all contained in a fabulous designer label; but if you are on your way to Taiwan to get a knock-off maybe save this for your next trip. Take a heavy moisturiser, face spray, a digital camera, a book to scribble in and a book to curl up with, a large bottle of water and an extra pair of socks.