How to Make Her LET GO & GIVE IN: The No-Bullshit Guide to Great Sex (6 page)

Step 1
Conclusion

Every man may imagine himself to be in a perfect scenario where the woman of his desires surrenders to him with all of her lust and trust. I want you to keep that image in mind as we go through each step set out in this book. When you can visualize it, you can believe it and aim for it. It's a great way to start!

You’re already beginning to see the inside of the workings of a female’s thoughts and emotions. Yes, she has the same deviant, naughty desires as you do. She does want some rough, dominant sex and she’d like to let out her inner slut on occasion, but only with someone she feels she can trust at that moment. It could be just for that quick fling or for something much deeper and longer lasting. Yet, in that very instant, what matters is that she gets to have some of the best sex of her life, and as a result, you do to.

This chapter has touched on subjects that can point you closer to your goal. The bottom line is that it starts with
you
. Once you get that head on straight, then face both your successes and your setbacks with women, you will have a much better outcome. You'll have a feel-good sensation because either way you tried and you were real. Even as you let her see your weaknesses, you aren’t weak. And even as you show her your strength and dominance, you aren’t judgemental or act superior.

Start today by becoming a much better man than the one you were yesterday or an hour ago. As you know by now, it’s not going to happen overnight; you
will
have to work on it because it’s such an important factor. This isn't just to get that hot woman in your bed, but to keep her there or at least give her the best sexual encounter she could ask for. Step by step, you’ll be closer to being your own ideal real guy,
the right guy.

STEP 2
EMOTIONAL FOREPLAY

Aim

The female attraction starts mainly in her head. If her mind is not aroused, her body won’t follow. In this step you will need to build up some initial sexual tension by bringing out the emotional part of her brain while lowering the use of her logical brain.

How

1. Flirting Is Playing

Flirting is a way of connecting emotionally. To create this connection, you need to be able to have an emotional and not a rational conversation. First you will discover how to steer things away from logic through general advice,
then
we will have a look at flirting itself.

You will learn that every flirtatious conversation has two aspects. There are compliments to give her validation, but also teasing to give her a challenge. This interaction of both is what creates the sexual tension.

2.Physical Stimulation

Touch, as well as other kinds of physical contact gently ease her mind into a more sexual state. They must be seen as a needed assistance to verbal flirting. I will indicate where and how to touch her to create the right state of mind.

3. Your Body Language

This non-verbal aspect of flirting is very important as it can create but also break the sexual tension. Therefore, we will look at the difference in signs a dominant man and a submissive man
display.

4. Her Signs

She will display subtle signs with her body language and emotional reactions when you create her initial spark. We will look at these signs because they give you valuable information to know whether you are on the right track or not.

2.1
Flirting Is Playing

One suggestive way to communicate your sexual and romantic feelings is through flirting, which increases sexual tension because it is aimed to trigger her emotions. Simply by being able to talk to her in this suggestive manner, will it provoke both happy and horny emotions within her.

To cause those happy emotions, your playful and caring side needs to come into play. Offering her compliments and joking around will give her a good feeling. Now all you need to do is to add a sexual connotation to the mix and she will combine happy feelings with sexual feelings in an unconscious response.

Overview

1. Avoid Rational Conversation

The key to success? Bring her into an emotional state of mind to ensure she does not use logic as it is unproductive.

2. The Subtlety of Flirting

Flirting is hard to completely figure out, so you need to understand what it actually involves.

3. Compliments to Validate

The right compliments give her validation, whereas the wrong ones do not.

4. Tease to Challenge

She does not only need validation, she also needs a challenge and through teasing you will give her this. The combination of being validated and challenged is what creates the sexual tension.

5. Example

To bring it all together, we’re going to look at a flirtatious conversation and analyse the content.

Avoid Rational Conversation

One thing a good lover knows is that a woman craves attention. It's her way of feeling reassured that her lover continues to be emotionally attached. This is an emotional and not a rational signal. Once you return her emotional reaction with a matching emotional response, you will be able to establish a much stronger connection.

And yet, men in general tend to rely more on rational than emotional conversations in which things are very concrete. These types of conversation are not stimulating for her. She isn’t all that interested in facts, figures or logic when being around her lover. The topics don’t really matter. As long as she feels she is sharing her emotions with you, she is being stimulated.

Six Tips to Create an Emotional Conversation

1. Sharing pronouns

From now on begin saying
we
,
our
and
us
instead of I, mine and me. These are all indications that you feel emotionally attached to her and creates a bond in her mind that builds her trust.

- “We had a nice time.”, “We are going there.”

- “Our drinks taste nice.”, “Let’s go sit in our seat.”

- “This is just between us.”, “That really helped us.”

2. Name her

Using her name or a nick-name you've gave her, makes things a lot more personal. A name or made up name is a part of her identity. When you use it, she feels validated and reinforced around you. When you use made-up names and you happen to be a good lover, she will begin to conform according to the connotation of that name. Call her 'Sweetie’ and she will become sweeter. Call her ‘Sexy’ and just watch her start to behave even sexier.

3. Don’t go
too
emotional

No one is asking you to share your deepest secrets simply to make your conversations seem more emotional. Your woman is not your therapist and it certainly won't make the atmosphere sexier, especially when you have not had sex beforehand. You will simply be leaving yourself open to getting screened into the category of men that attach themselves emotionally too soon, and therefore she will label you as needy.

This definitely doesn't give her the challenge she craves, and in turn she won't consider you fit to be a possible sexual partner.

That having been said, nothing stops you from talking about such things while being in a relationship. Just don't expect her to be aroused in the same way by these conversations. Instead of going all emotional on her from the start when sex is the aim, let it be up to
her
to be given the challenge of breaking down any emotional barriers.

This will create sexual interest because she will be craving to connect emotionally. So, don’t start talking about your innermost secrets too soon. This will make her work harder to win you over.

When you keep up a bit of
mystery
, you enhance your quality of being
unattainable
without seeming too detached or out of reach. She will in turn, wish to break through your emotional 'shell' and instead try to discover what makes you tick and what inner struggles you may have.

If you want to make her do all kinds of kinky things, then remain emotionally unavailable on a short-term notice. This displays a dominant mentality which triggers her lust, and works great if you want to have sex fast with a girl who’s into the typical bad boy.

However, other girls don’t always like this stereotypical bad boy behaviour, certainly when they are looking for a committed guy. These women prefer you to open up a bit (although not too much) to have the needed trust in you. When choosing this road, getting to the kinky stuff usually takes longer, but is better for the general health of your relationship.

4. Cutting off useless threads

Any topic is fine as long as you can give it an emotional undertone. I would never talk about politics, my grocery list, my taxes, etc., in a way that she feels I am sharing personal things about myself. If
you
can turn these subjects into a meaningful emotional conversation, go ahead. But always stick to topics that trigger your emotions as well as hers. If not, cut them off and simply talk about something else.

For example, I love it when a girl wears sexy pumps, so when she’s talking about the Doritos she ate today or what weather it was, divert the conversation into a better direction by saying something like:
“Hmm nice pumps, how high are those heels?”
From there on, you can lead the conversation to where you want it to go.

5. Don’t give a logical response

It’s easy to fall into the trap of answering an emotional question with a logical response. When she says: “
I don’t feel too good…
" don’t say she has to go see a doctor, go to sleep early or talk to her friend about the problem, because these are all logical arguments you use to give some
well-meant
advice.

That is not what she wants to hear, as she just wants to share something. So don’t focus on fixing her problem, but instead, show compassion and interest: “
Sorry to hear that
,
what’s wrong
?” are far better answers because it gives her the opportunity to share them with you.

6. Be a good listener

A woman wants to have the feeling of being heard and it’s really not that hard on your behalf. All you need to do is listen to her message and try to find the emotional message behind it, which you can simply do by not automatically responding in a logical way. This way she expresses herself further and it won’t take long before you know what’s going on.

I know that being a listener is not all that exciting for some, especially when you’re not into a certain subject she talks about. If this is true for you just cut the thread, otherwise you will just get annoyed or bored.

In general, pay attention to what she says because it has a lot of benefits. Not only will it help in accelerating the sexual experience, but she will also be far more content. This means she will complain far less, and in return you don’t have to listen to her complaints, but instead get to listen to more positive topics.

The Subtlety of Flirting

Having an emotional conversation is one thing, but flirting is another. Don’t assume that simply by applying the concepts of avoiding rational conversation is equal to flirting! The difficulty is that you need to communicate in a suggestive, indirect way. A lot of men are not capable of doing this because as mentioned before, they are accustomed to think in a logical manner.

To make you fully grasp the concept of flirting, I will use the analogy of fantasy games used by children. A fantasy game occurs when children create and act out a made up story. They pretend to be a knight, policeman, pony or whatever they can think of. The only purpose they have for playing these games is simply because it’s fun.

Flirting is the adult version of these fantasy games. As with these child’s games, the purpose of flirting is to have fun, with the only difference being that flirting has a sexual undertone. Enjoy the moment without being too preoccupied with sex. So, just relax and enjoy each other’s company and the sexual side will grow.

These games are not concrete and only exist in the minds of the people playing. However, because it’s not concrete and only resides in your and her head, she will feel a sense of connection as if sharing a secret.

This vague, indirect and emotional way of communicating might seem confusing, but don’t worry. It’s not all that hard to
get
flirting. All you need to do is to take on a role and act on it. If you play your role right, she will follow and take on her own role. After all, if a five year old can play a fantasy game, so can you.

The roles in the flirting game are always the same. You need to be a dominant and caring guy that makes her feel like a cute, feminine girl. To make this game really come to life, you can use made-up names for each other. I call my girlfriend
princess
and she calls me
daddy
. But you can pretty much go with any names you want, as long as they fit into the dominant, caring male, versus the cute girl window.