How to Make Her LET GO & GIVE IN: The No-Bullshit Guide to Great Sex (4 page)

We walked into the apartment and the door closed behind us with a silken finality. I turned to him with a sultry smile and he couldn’t conceal the gleam of desire in his darkened eyes.

I gasped, and in the next moment he grabbed my shoulders, his head slanted to merge my lips with his in a passionate kiss. Soft. Then firmer. The kiss ignited us with moist heat and passion. He had me backed up against the wall before I could even think.

I heard the sound of my long, deep moan as his lips tore away to slide down my arched neck. He told me how much my scent drove him crazy. I shuddered, my hands resting on his chest. My soft, small hands began to descend lower.

The next second, he’d seized both my wrists and spun me around, pinning me with my face against the wall and my arms linked behind me.

“Oh!” My breathy voice was filled with shock and excitement. He rubbed up against my ass and I could feel how much he wanted me; how hard and ready I made him.

“I want you,” came that husky voice in my ear.

My breasts ached at the tips, pressed so hard against the wall. I wanted him too, and I knew he knew this. I knew he could feel it in my trembling body, in the way I melted against him. I struggled weakly against his restraining hands around my wrists, but this only made him grip me tighter. I became wetter and wetter.

His free hand wrapped into my long hair and pulled, making my head snap back as my roots felt the delicious sting.

“Think you can handle what I have for you tonight?” he whispered as his teeth nipped my earlobe. Unthinkingly, I pushed my ass against his maleness, thrilled to feel him throb so strongly between my ass cheeks. Oh, hell. I both hated and loved it when he teased me.

“Yes,” I heard myself say, knowing I was crazy to give in, but unable to help myself. I needed this; his raw passion; his dominant fire. It melted something deep inside me and made me feel like a woman. It made me feel.

I heard his deep approving growl, and his fingers released my hair and instead scooped my breast in a possessively groping palm. He squeezed hard on my tit and found my nipple; the peak, hot and pointy in between his thumb and forefinger. Kissing softly on my shoulder blade from behind, he made me sigh with pleasure right before his fingers pinched hard on my needy little nub…

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The above sample of a sexual encounter, is an illustration of the male not being inhibited by hesitation or fear. He wasn’t afraid to pull her hair or grab her breasts. He didn’t ask permission to do those things because he wasn’t afraid. He did what he wanted and it felt right.

If he asked her for permission to do all those things, she probably wouldn’t let him. She wouldn’t because her rational mind says no. She would object because she has been taught to be a good girl that thinks to herself,
“This is not the way I should be treated, I believe I’m a strong and independent woman which means being in control.”

However, her rational mind is just a filter blocking her from experiencing the sensation of untamed lust. Her ardent desires tell her she loves to be sluttish from time to time, but her rational mind won’t admit it. The only way you can reach these primal emotions is by leading her. If you are passive, she will continue thinking with her rational mind, always telling her the words
no; I can’t; don’t.
But if you present yourself as a dominant man, she will think
yes
.

When you take away her control, she experiences a sense of freedom because all of her objections that pop up in her rational mind, will disappear like a snowflake in the sun. It’s no longer her ‘fault’ she’s getting down and dirty with you because she tells herself she had no control over the sexual experience. You took away her sense of shame and gave her the opportunity to live out all of her lustful desires.

Commitment Leads to Trust

Being able to commit is the second most important quality of a good lover. The reason I’ve placed it after dominance is that showing commitment is not always a necessity. Women can have great sexual experiences when there is no commitment involved and although this might seem incompatible with her primal need of trust, it isn’t.

Most of this happens when there is a degree of anonymity, like an encounter with a stranger, being on a holiday with her friends, etc. In these cases, she knows she can live out all of her ‘dirty’ desires because she has the trust that no one will judge her afterwards. But this trust is based on her rational mind and will not fulfil her need of emotional trust.

Showing too much commitment from your side will be a turn off for women in these kind of adventures. Saying
I love you
for example, could ruin the mood or even end the sexual encounter. But if she had sex because she loves you, she will hope for your commitment.

If you can return her feelings of love, she will feel satisfied on a deeper level. It calms down her primal emotions because she feels a sense of security. The feeling of belonging to you, makes her happy and more excited to have you. She will develop a sense of trust and the feeling that her man will treat her right while giving her what she needs.

The issue of trust is very important for women because when it comes to sex, women are vulnerable. Having your dick inside her is an intimate moment. And in a lot of cases when you trigger her emotions in the right way, you’ll have her hoping that you won’t walk away after having sex.

Screening for Commitment

As explained before, a woman sometimes wants commitment and sometimes
doesn’t
. To know if you are the right guy, she will screen you on your willingness to commit. The way she screens all depends on the reason she has to have sex. If she has love on her mind, she will screen you differently than when things are more casual.

Need of commitment and trust

When she is looking for a stable, monogamous relationship because she is in love, she hopes you will commit and care for her. This means she wants to keep you for herself because she’s afraid of losing you to someone else. In turn, this explains her issues of fidelity.

If this is the case, it’s possible that she will wait to have sex because she is screening your level of commitment, and she also doesn’t want you to think she’s too easy and therefore not
relationship material
.

She screens you on your invested time and effort. Talking to her on the phone, meeting her friends, etc., are all the things she’s after because she interprets this as commitment from your side. Of course, she’s only after them if she feels you might become her right guy in the future.

This screening can lead to two things but either way she wins:

Her emotions tell her your level of commitment is high enough because you invested time and effort. This reassures that she’s making a smart choice because she has reasons to believe that a meaningful relationship will develop after having sex with you.

On the flip side; she feels that the level of your commitment is not high enough because you didn’t invest enough time and effort, or simply walked away. If this happens, she has also made a smart choice for not having sex, as you weren’t going to stick around anyway.

Women also need to feel your commitment not only before, but also during the sexual relationship. When she feels she is getting enough attention by taking her out, buying her flowers from time to time, etc., she will be reassured on a primal level. Her primal emotions tell her she can trust you because you probably won’t go away to have sex with other women. She believes you will stay around to protect and take care of her and the child.

Little need of commitment and trust

When casual sex is her motive, she will only screen you on your level of dominance and other personal preferences. I use the word motive to indicate that the same woman can engage in different kinds of sexual relationships and adventures.

She will screen for two reasons. The first one is because she wants to screen your level of attractiveness, and the second is that she wants to make sure you don’t want to commit due to being needy.

Being needy means you are desperate because other woman are not interested in you. If she picks up that other women are not interested in you, she will find you less attractive. This also means that you will be in a submissive position because you are desperate to start a sexual relationship since you don’t really have a lot of alternatives.

When a woman picks up that you don’t have, nor have had, too much success with other women, she will instinctively feel that you love her because you need her, not because you really have any emotional connection with her. She will not feel special that you are giving her this attention because she knows you would give it to any girl that shows a little interest in you, meaning she will not allow you to lead her into a great sexual experience.

The Ultimate Bliss, Your Dominance and Commitment

Although a woman may have different motives for having sex, every female is dreaming of finding her ‘prince charming’ at some point in her life. And if you look closely at the prince in any fairy tale, you can see he always possesses two traits: the willingness to commit and dominance.

He’s compassionate, kind, and his level of commitment is even high enough to slay any dragon to make sure his princess is safe. On the other hand, he’s strong, virile and the leader of his crew, which makes him dominant. She feels satisfied because he is fulfilling her primal desires of lust and trust. For this, his princess trusts and admires him, which means she will follow him wherever he may take her.

In real life, there is no difference. She will only let you lead if she trusts you on a deeper level. When there’s no trust, she won’t allow you to lead her, even if she craves for your dominance. She will find it hard to fully commit to a deeper relationship or give in to her primal desires of lust.

She needs to know that you won’t hurt her in either emotional and physical ways, like cheat on her, talk about all the things you did with her last night with your friends, leave her, judge her in a bad way. So, you can only lead her to great sexual experiences when she feels safe enough to fully give in to her desires of lust and trust.

1.3
Becoming Mr. Right

For most women, finding a committed man that follows the concept of dominance through equality is hard indeed. And when she does finds one, she wants to be good for him. She feels an emotional fulfilment that satisfies all her primal needs. A lot of her turmoil and insecurities have been taken away and replaced with positive feelings. When a man helps her experience all of these, she will be thankful and reward him for it. That lucky male can be
you.

However, when you do not succeed in satisfying these needs, she will not be motivated to treat you right because, well, you just aren’t her ‘right guy’.

If you lack the ability to create strong feelings of lust or trust, don’t be surprised when she doesn’t want to swallow your sperm, is not open for an afternoon quickie, or always has the excuse that her head hurts.

Remember, it’s because of you that she acts this way. It’s
your
responsibility to trigger her emotions and make her feel secure first, only then will she do the same for you. Never expect a woman to take the lead. She will never try to make you feel secure when her need of lust is not satisfied, or when she is lacking trust towards you.

The biggest benefit of being a good lover in the bedroom is that her emotions will keep telling her that
you
are Mr. Right. This means your life with her outside and inside the bedroom will enhance greatly. So in a way she will also become more like your Mrs. Right, although this also depends on your screening preferences of course.

Her head won’t hurt anymore, she will swallow your sperm, not nag as much, won’t be on the look-out for another man, be proud of you and go along with your deepest sexual fantasies.

But before she does all of the above and more, you of course need to become her Mr. Right. Later on in this book, you will learn the social and sexual skills that are necessary to become this man. But for now, we will look at ways to change your current mentality.

Overview

1. Becoming Real and Dominant

To be real and able to lead her, you need to get your act together. That’s why we’re going to look at some tips to enhance your sexual confidence.

2. Enhancing Trust Through a Non-Judgemental Attitude

If she feels comfortable that you won’t judge, she will be open to the kinky sex you’ve always dreamt of.

Becoming Real and Dominant

Understanding the importance of dominance and being real is one thing. Becoming this in reality is another.

Becoming a real guy is not something that happens overnight. Accepting yourself and changing your beliefs is a process of time and dedication, especially when it comes to sexuality. It may be hard to be at peace when lacking sexual confidence.

A lack of sexual confidence is a much bigger burden than wondering why she didn’t come last night, having shy tendencies or reflecting on why she isn’t into you. Some problems go a lot deeper than these issues. Some problems make it hard to accept yourself and be real.

A severe lack of sexual confidence is one of these problems because it touches a man’s inner core. It affects his masculinity in a very negative manner. Every man wants to feel masculine in one way or another and when he is not capable of feeling like this, he will have feelings of insecurity.