How to Love (19 page)

She fucking hated the expression on his face, the confusion mingling with hurt.

He tossed the shirt onto the floor in the hall and leaned against the wall. “How did you come to that conclusion?” he asked.

She shrugged again. “Does it matter?”

“Yeah. It does.” His voice was very soft but very firm. “What the fuck, Jules?”

“I’m sorry.” She tried to sound impatient and uncaring. Her voice might have wobbled a little. “It’s not…” She stopped and cleared her throat. “It’s not you. It’s me.”

After a few seconds of startled silence, he burst out laughing. She frowned at him.

“I mean it,” she said. “I know it’s a cliché, but…”

“Damn right, it’s you,” he said, moving closer, eyes gleaming. “Usually when someone says that, it really means, ‘it’s not me, it’s definitely you’, but in this case, strangely, I do believe you.”

She stepped back but she was pretty much blocked in a corner by the door and unless she opened it and ran, there was nowhere else to go. She looked up into his eyes, pressing her lips together and trying to look intimidating. It had worked before. Except before, she’d always meant it, which probably came across better than now when she was shaking with nerves, sick with sadness and actually a tiny bit…afraid. Mike looked so big and strong and aggressive, crowding her up against the wall.

“What’s going on, Jules?”

Chapter Twelve

Mike looked down at Jules and edged closer until her back was against the wall. Her eyes shifted to the door and then back. Would she run for it? She was thinking of it.

Weird. It wasn’t like her to run. She hid, but she usually didn’t back down and run away.

“Nothing’s going on,” she said, a hint of a quiver in her voice. “I thought about it and I realized I was right all along. I’m not cut out for relationships or commitment. So we’ve been having fun, but if you want more you should find some other girl.”

“Huh.” He regarded her thoughtfully.

“Hey, what’s going… Oh, hi, Jules.” Carlos’s voice spoke from behind him.

Jules’s throat worked as she swallowed. “Hi, Carlos.”

“Uh…you coming in?” Carlos asked.

Dammit, he was trying to talk to her here. Mike turned to Carlos to give him a look. Carlos frowned.

“Yeah, she’s coming in,” he said, grabbing her hand and practically dragging her into their living room. The pizza box sat on the coffee table along with a couple of beer bottles, a movie playing on the big screen TV with the sound muted.

“Hey,” she said, trying to dig her little heels in, but it wasn’t working. With gentle pressure on her shoulder he pushed her down to sit on the couch. She scowled at him.

“Talk,” he said. “You’re not leaving here until you do.”

She crossed her arms, her bottom lip protruding. “I did talk,” she snapped. “I said what I came here to say.”

“Yeah, no doubt,” he agreed, sitting beside her. Carlos followed them, looking a little mystified. “But this time you’re going to tell us more than that. I want to know what’s really going on.”

She stared at him for a long moment, while Carlos slowly lowered himself to the chair, watching them. “Fine,” she said. She looked at Carlos with one raised eyebrow. “This morning when I was getting myself some coffee in your kitchen, Carlos and I were talking and…” She licked her lips with a sexy little swipe of her tongue. “And he was going to kiss me.”

Mike’s insides clenched. He looked at Carlos with pursed lips. Carlos closed his eyes and sighed. “It’s true,” he said. “I thought you’d talked to her already…”

“And if you want the truth, I wanted to kiss him too,” Jules said. She lifted her little chin and met his eyes. “When we were dancing last night at Aura, I was…turned on by it. I’m attracted to Carlos. Go ahead, call me a slut, I’ve heard it before.”

Mike’s mouth dropped open. She’d been called a slut? With a mental shake of his head he tried to focus. “So what are you saying?” he asked. “You don’t want to see me anymore because you’re attracted to Carlos? You want to date him instead?”

“No!” She glared at him.

He still wasn’t sure what was going on here. “Okay,” he said. “You’re attracted to him, but you don’t want to go out with him.”

“The point is, if you want a relationship with me it’s not going to work when I can’t be exclusive. When I’m attracted to your best friend, for God’s sake.”

“So…” He was trying to put it together, a strange sense of hope inflating him. “You’re still attracted to me.”

Her face went expressionless. “No.”

He laughed again. “You are so full of shit,” he said. “Jules, I’m not an idiot. We slept together last night. It was fucking off-the-charts hot. That doesn’t happen when there’s no attraction there.”

Her lips compressed and she swallowed. “Okay, there’s attraction, sure. But that’s all. I know you want more. And I can’t give you that. Don’t you see it? I was ready to kiss your friend this morning!”

Mike felt his body releasing some of the tension that had gripped him since Jules had said it wasn’t going to work for them. He exchanged a look with Carlos. Okay. This was it. This was the time to tell her. Damn, he wished they could have talked last night and avoided all this drama, but whatever, they’d deal with it.

“Jules.” He reached for her hand. “There’s something you need to know. About Carlos and me.”

She blinked. “What?”

Mike held out his other hand to Carlos, who rose from the chair, skirted the coffee table and took Mike’s hand as he sat beside him on the couch. Their fingers clasped. Carlos’s grip was strong and warm and the look in his dark eyes reassured him that he was doing the right thing.

Mike turned back to Jules and saw her gaze had dropped to their clasped hands.

“Carlos and I are a couple,” he said quietly. “We’re more than just roommates and business partners. We love each other.”

Her mouth opened. And then closed. She blinked again. And again. Silence expanded in the room, pressing in on them.

“I don’t get it,” she whispered, looking back and forth between them. “If you’re…then why…what were we…?”

Mike smiled. He released her hand and touched her cheek with his fingertips. “I guess it’s kind of hard to explain. We both like women too. And we both like you.”

Her eyelashes fluttered once again and her lips parted. “You…you…”

“This was what I wanted to talk to you about,” he continued, keeping his voice low and gentle. “We thought it was time you knew the truth about us. And the fact that we’re both so damn hot for you… Christ, Jules. If you feel that way about both of us, then what’s the problem?”

“You want…you want…a threesome?” She gazed back at them wide-eyed.

“Well. Yeah.” That wasn’t all of it, of course. But this was a first step. Carlos’s fingers tightened on his, and his gut clenched as they waited for her response to that.

“I can’t believe this!” she said with a little laugh, pushing her hair off her face. “Oh my God! I can’t believe I never realized…oh my God.” She shook her head. “Wow. I just…wow.”

Well, that wasn’t exactly a yes or a no.

“You do feel that way…about both of us? Right?”

“Um…well, yeah, I like you both. And…yeah. I’m attracted to both of you.” She turned her eyes on Mike. “Doesn’t that make you mad? Or jealous? Last night you were pissed off because I talked to another guy.”

He let a small smile break free. “Shit. I’m not jealous of every guy you talk to. But you let him buy you a drink.” He shook his head. “Yeah, I was jealous of that guy. But I’m not jealous of Carlos.”

“You two…are in a relationship?”

“Yeah. For a couple of years now.”

She laughed again, surprising him. “Okay then. This is great.”

Now it was his turn to blink and he looked at Carlos over his shoulder. Carlos gave him a crooked smile in return. Mike turned back to Jules. “It is?”

She smiled, a sexy, wicked little smile. “Sure it is. Because I don’t do relationships. But I
definitely
do threesomes.”

Mike’s heart slammed against his ribs. He tried to breathe, but his chest was tight. And so were his jeans around his rapidly swelling cock. They should tell her more. They should tell her what they really wanted. But the fact that she was okay with this, with them, with the whole ménage thing, was such a huge fucking relief that he didn’t want to push it. He didn’t want to ruin things when they hadn’t even got started.

So he smiled back at her. “Perfect.”

Jules’s heart tapped out a rapid beat in her chest while thoughts circled through her head with dizzying speed. They were a couple. They were gay. No, they were bisexual. Or something. How could she never have realized this? Holy freakin’ crap.

And they both wanted her.

Holy freakin’ crap.

Even as her mind tried to process it all, a feeling of relief stole over her. She didn’t have to dump Mike. They both wanted her. For a threesome!

She’d done that before a time or three, in her sexual experimenting. And wow, this couldn’t be better.

The first time she’d ever gotten involved in a ménage situation was when a guy she’d been seeing wanted to invite another girl into their bed. She’d been open to it, thought it sounded kind of hot. The girl he had in mind had been pretty and nice, and yeah, it had been fun. Until one night Jules had realized…she was doing a lot of watching. While they were having a lot of fun. Together.

Turned out they’d fallen in love with each other, and within the blink of an eye, Janey had wanted Jules out of there. Never one to let her feelings get too involved, Jules had nonetheless been hurt by that. She’d been dating Kevin for a while and she liked him. She’d also come to like Janey. Kevin had been a little less eager to get rid of her, but Janey had been jealous and possessive and threatened by Jules and so it had ended, and yeah, it stung a little.

She’d learned her lesson. Threesomes were fun and hot, but they could get complicated. Since then, the only time she’d ever participated in a ménage was when the other two people were already a committed couple. That way everyone knew their role and no one got hurt. She could handle being the third. But that also meant that the only threesomes she’d had since then had been a man and another woman, and she had to admit the idea of being with two men was her hottest fantasy. So a committed couple who were both men? Perfect! That way no one got bitchy and jealous.

So she really meant it when she smiled at Mike and agreed with him, “Yeah. Perfect.”

He met her eyes, his so searching. “Really?”

She nodded. “Yeah. Really.” Her smile broadened. “Show me.”

“Show you what?”

“Show me you’re a couple.”

Mike stared at her for several seconds, then turned to Carlos. Carlos hitched a shoulder then leaned toward him. Mike shifted a bit on the couch, turning to Carlos, and leaned in too, until their mouths met and their eyes closed. Their kiss was gentle, long and open-mouthed, and still he held on to Carlos’s hand on one side, and Jules’s on the other side, fingers twined, tightening a little as the kiss deepened.

When he and Carlos drew apart, breathing a little faster, they paused to open their eyes and look at each other, their faces still so close together, Mike’s golden stubble contrasting with Carlos’s short dark beard. Carlos lifted a hand and touched Mike’s cheek.

Arousal curled low down inside her. “Oh, wow,” Jules whispered. “That’s hot. You guys…”

Mike turned back to her, his mouth wet, eyes glittering. His tongue came out and dragged across his bottom lip. More heat surged between her legs.

Now he leaned toward her and kissed her, a soft press of his mouth on hers, and she fell into it, closing her eyes, breathing in the scent that was so familiar to her, opening for him. When he drew back he looked deep into her eyes, as he had with Carlos, and then he sat back into the couch cushions, leaving her and Carlos facing each other across his body. Carlos’s lips quirked as he studied her. Her eyelids felt heavy, and her thighs clenched with need.

“Jules.” Shifting closer, Carlos reached for her, laid his hand on her shoulder and with gentle pressure pulled her in. His mouth brushed over hers, warm, gentle. Tingles started low down inside her and streamed through her body. Then he kissed her again, really kissed her, with firm pressure and a hint of tongue licking over her bottom lip. His short beard tickled her skin, his scent different than Mike’s, a woodsy fresh air scent, and she breathed him in.

Carlos. She was kissing Carlos. Her pulse leaped, her pussy melted. His tongue caressed hers as he deepened the kiss, his fingers sliding up to the side of her neck, his thumb resting at her throat where her pulse fluttered wildly.

And Mike watched them.

When Carlos broke the kiss, slowly, and drew back, she glanced at Mike. His eyes glowed with an erotic hunger. “Whoa,” she whispered. Heat shimmered over her skin and she swallowed.

“Yeah,” Mike said on a heartfelt sigh. “Uh. I guess you have to go.”

“Go?”

“Yeah. You said you had plans with Neve.”

Oh yeah. She blinked. “I lied.”

She thought that might get a smile from him, but instead the corners of his mouth turned down. “Shit, Jules.”