How to Love (18 page)

They had.

With a smile, she found a mug in a neat cupboard, which she knew was Mike’s doing, not Carlos’s. She was just pouring the coffee when a voice spoke behind her.

“Morning.”

She jumped, almost pouring the coffee all over the counter. She looked up to see Carlos walking in. He too held a mug and leaned against the counter.

Geez, he looked good. A white T-shirt emphasized his dark skin and black hair and stretched across his wide shoulders. His thickly muscled arms lifted the mug to his mouth to sip his coffee, and his short beard gave him an even darker look.

“Good morning,” she said, resisting the urge to lay her hand on her fluttering heart.

She took in the way he was studying her in return, her bare legs, Mike’s shirt with only two buttons done up. “I didn’t know you were home. The house was so quiet I thought you’d both gone out.”

“Mike’s out. He went for a run.”

“Oh. But you didn’t go with him?” She knew Carlos ran too.

“I went earlier. I’m not one to lie in bed all morning.” He flashed a white smile at her and she glanced at the clock. Holy crap! It was nearly noon.

“Whoa. I didn’t realize how late it is. I need to get in to the gallery.”

“Obviously one of your girls opened it this morning.”

“Oh yeah, Min and Anna are both working today, but I have work to do and I have a portrait shoot booked for later.” She gulped her hot, black coffee.

He moved toward her and her skin immediately began to tingle and her pulse spiked. He reached past her for the pot of coffee. His arm brushed against her, warm and hard. She swallowed.

He filled his mug, replaced the pot in the coffeemaker. “Did you have fun last night?” he asked.

She looked up at him, now so close, at those eyes the same rich dark color of the coffee he’d just poured, surrounded with thick black lashes. And she remembered dancing with him, just as close. No, closer, their bodies pressed together, his hard-on evident as they’d moved together.

Her throat dried up and a warm slide of lust pooled in her belly.

His eyes darkened even more as he looked back at her, and she knew he was remembering too. “Shit,” he muttered. “Jules…”

She closed her eyes, her heart thudding. “Carlos.” His hand slid around the back of her neck. He gently tugged her closer. She lifted one hand and laid it on his chest, pushing gently to keep distance between them. “Don’t.”

“It’s okay,” he murmured.

Oh God, his mouth was so close to her and her lips parted involuntarily. She wanted him to kiss her. She wanted to feel his lips on hers. She wanted to taste him.

Oh dear God, what was
wrong
with her!

She pushed harder and stepped back, her coffee sloshing in the mug onto her hand. She ignored the heat of it. “Don’t,” she said again. “Please.”

“Mike said he was going to talk to you last night.”

“Um. Yeah. Well, we didn’t exactly talk. He said we’d talk more later.” Why was he bringing that up? Was he hoping Mike hadn’t talked to her? She rubbed her forehead, her body still buzzing with arousal, her head aching.

“Oh. Shit.”

“I have to go. I’m sorry…”

“Okay, yeah. No problem. See you later.”

She started to rush out the back door, then remembered she was only half dressed and turned back. He gave her a sexy smile, still leaning against the counter, and she retreated down the hall to Mike’s bedroom where she pulled on her jeans. She kept his shirt and scooped up her top and the little purse she’d taken to the club last night and hurried out the front door.

God, oh God, what kind of slut was she? Here she’d just made a decision that she was going to try to work things out with Mike, that she would try this being a girlfriend thing, exclusive, in a “relationship”. And then she was ready to kiss another man.

She moaned as she let herself into her house, slammed and locked the door behind her. In her own bedroom she paused in front of her dresser and stared at herself in the gilt-framed mirror. What was wrong with her?

Well, it was clear to her that she could not continue on with Mike as she’d thought she could. It wasn’t fair to him. If he was looking for a relationship with someone who was going to be with him exclusively, it wasn’t going to be her. It wasn’t fair to him to even try.

Her heart ached as she turned away from the mirror and unbuttoned his shirt. She slipped it off her shoulders then lifted it to her nose and breathed in his scent, eyes closed. How familiar it was to her already. Her lips pouted and her throat constricted. Then she tossed the shirt onto her bed and headed for her own bathroom to shower and get ready for work.

Mike got home from his run, sweaty and ready for more sex.

But Jules was gone.

“Hey,” he called to Carlos from his bedroom. “Did you see Jules?”

“Yeah. She had to go to work.”

“Oh. Damn. Okay.”

“You didn’t talk to her.”

Mike paused, about to strip his shorts off. He turned to see Carlos standing in the bedroom door, frowning. “No.”

“You said you were going to.”

“I was. I am. Last night…I got distracted.”

Carlos tipped his head to one side, not smiling. “You sure you’re not stalling?”

Mike frowned. “Stalling? What the fuck?”

Carlos sighed and scrubbed a hand over his face. “Never mind.”

“I’ll talk to her tonight. I swear.”

“Yeah. Okay.” Carlos disappeared. Mike’s frown eased only a little as he stepped into the shower. What was Carlos worried about? Stalling? Yeah, it wasn’t going to be an easy conversation, but hell, he wanted to do it. He wanted her to know. He wanted it for Carlos. He’d seen the way they’d looked at each other last night.

He shampooed up, scrubbed his body and then let the hot water pound down on him for long moments.

Yeah. He wasn’t sure how that conversation was going to get off the ground.

Out of the shower, he found his cell phone. Standing naked, he grinned as he contemplated the idea of sending Jules a photo of himself. She’d appreciate that, wouldn’t she? He almost laughed aloud. But nah. That was something Carlos would do, something spontaneous and crazy. Mike thumbed in a text message, inviting her over for dinner. They’d order pizza or something, since none of them were all that hot in the cooking department, and he and Carlos planned to start ripping the old tile out of the main bathroom today. Good times.

He dressed in old clothes, ready to burn some energy with a crowbar and a sledgehammer. But first he needed food. Toast and peanut butter should do the trick.

It wasn’t until several hours later, the bathroom a dusty mess of rubble, that he realized Jules hadn’t answered his text message.

Thankfully work distracted Jules from the bizarre mess her life had turned into. She had work to do in the office and the portrait shoot booked later that afternoon, a couple who’d just gotten engaged and wanted some creative black and white shots of themselves to use on their invitations and on their wedding blog.

Who knew that her new next door neighbors were going to turn her so upside down? And once again, while sex always seemed like the answer to her problems, it ended up creating more problems. When would she ever learn that?

How could she have been thinking she could have any kind of exclusive relationship with Mike? Her attraction to Carlos just proved that was out of the question. Even last night, when she’d been so hot after dancing with Carlos and feeling guilty about it, what had she done? She’d gone and flirted with another guy and let him buy her a drink. She was hopeless.

When her cell phone buzzed with a text message, she pulled it out and looked at it. It was Mike, telling her to come over when she got home from work and they’d do something for dinner.

Not likely. She huffed as she tucked the phone back in her jeans pocket and turned to her computer screen. She took a deep breath. She’d go over later, yeah, but only to return the shirt she’d worn home and tell him they couldn’t see each other anymore.

Which made being neighbors a little awkward. But how often did she have to see them anyway? She’d just avoid going out in her yard for the next while. Hell. That sucked.

Then her day got worse when her father phoned.

“Hey, Dad,” she said, covering her eyes with one hand. “How are you?”

“I’ve been better,” he said.

Playing the guilt card. He was a pretty good manipulator and the saying, “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree” came to mind. She guessed she’d gotten that from him.

“How’s business?”

“Crap,” he said, his voice rough. “The markets took another dive last month and people are still jittery about the economy.”

“I’m sorry. Things are tough for a lot of people these days.” Including her. But he didn’t ask about her business.

“It’s your stepmother’s birthday in two weeks,” he said. “We’re having a big party and you’re invited, of course.”

“Oh. Great.”
Not.
In the two years since she’d left home, she’d tried to minimize how much time she spent with her family. She wasn’t sure if she’d ever be able to forgive her dad for using her the way he had, and as for her stepmother, well, the less time she spent with her the better it was for her own emotional health.

“Candy says you should come and stay for the weekend.”

Again, not happening, but she made some kind of non-committal response to her dad. He gave her the details of the party, which she noted down, wondering what kind of excuse she could come up with to get out of it over the next two weeks. But she thought of her two little half-sisters and knew she couldn’t stay away. She wouldn’t go for the whole weekend, but she couldn’t miss a chance to see them again. They were probably the only ones who’d really care if she didn’t show up, and she didn’t have it in her to disappoint them.

She sighed as she hung up. Her shoulders and neck felt like rocks, the tight feeling climbing up the back of her scalp and making her head ache. Great.

She considered calling Neve to see what she was doing tonight and possibly tagging along. Was she avoiding dealing with the situation with Mike and Carlos? Hell yeah. But she reasoned that even if she went over, returned his shirt and told him they couldn’t see each other anymore, it might be a good idea to have something to do after to take her mind off things rather than going home alone.

But when she called Neve, she had plans with her family, celebrating her little niece’s birthday.

Ah well.

She stayed at the gallery long past the time it closed, trying to work despite her headache and tense stomach. When Mike’s second text message arrived, she knew she had to answer it. So she sent him a quick message saying she’d stop by later and they should have dinner without her.

She stopped at the pier on her way home and picked up fish and chips for her own dinner, but as she drove home the smell of it filling her car almost made her nauseous. She wasn’t at all hungry. In her kitchen she poked at the crispy fish, normally something she loved, and dunked a few French fries in ketchup. She debated changing from the skinny jeans and loose top she’d worn to work. Nah. It didn’t matter what she wore. She thought about fixing her makeup too, but these were all just procrastination attempts, so she finally slid off the stool and grabbed the shirt she’d folded up and left sitting on the end of the counter.

She knocked on their front door. Possibly they’d gone out somewhere. It was Saturday night after all. She gripped the shirt in her hands as she waited, but then the door opened and Mike stood there.

“Hey,” he said with that boyish smile, looking so genuinely happy to see her that her stomach actually heaved.

How many guys had she broken up with over the years? Too many to count, because it was pretty much every guy she’d ever gone out with. She usually never stuck around with anyone long enough for them to break up with her. But for some reason, this time felt the worst. She could make up all kinds of reasons in her head for why that was, and she would do that later. But for now, she just had to get it over with.

“Hi,” she said. He gestured her in and she stepped into the house, which still smelled a little like fresh paint. “I can’t stay long.”

He frowned. “No? How come?”

“I made plans,” she lied. “With Neve.”

“Oh.” He blinked. “Okay, then. I thought we were doing something tonight, though.”

What a bitch she was. She hitched one shoulder. “I changed my mind.”

“Okay. But I wanted to talk to you. About last night.”

“Yeah, you know, let’s not do that.”

Confusion drew his eyebrows together.

She handed him the shirt. “Here. I borrowed this earlier to go home in. I just wanted to drop it off. And…” She took a deep breath, her stomach aching, her throat so constricted for a moment she wasn’t sure she was going to be able to actually get the words out. She shoved her hands into the front pockets of her jeans to hide the fact that they were shaking now that they were empty. “I was thinking about last night too, and I decided this isn’t going to work. You and me.”