How to Love (17 page)

Carlos sucked in a breath. Mike would tell her. Once again, a feeling of being on the outside pinched a little. But yeah, that was probably the best way. “Okay.”

They ordered more drinks, bullshitted about random stuff with the others there for a while until Carlos said, “Jules has been gone a while.”

Mike frowned. “Yeah. She has.” He glanced around. “I’ll go look for her.”

He pushed away from the table and moved toward the far corner of the club where the bathrooms were. He didn’t see her. He ducked into the bathroom for a quick leak, then came out and started looking again. He headed to the long bar that lined one wall, all shiny chrome and glass, artfully lit bottles of booze lining the wall behind it.

There she was. Leaning against the bar, holding a drink and talking to some dude. A big dude, who was standing way too close to her and looking at her with an expression that was way too horny. Fucking lech. A wave of something hot rolled up inside Mike.

He strode toward her as fast as he could with other people getting in his way. He stopped beside her. “There you are,” he said, sliding his hand around her upper arm.

She looked up at him. “Oh hey, Mike.”

Just that. Not even a guilty look or apologetic smile. He frowned then sent a glare at the dude beside her. The guy straightened and moved back a few inches. “Uh…”

“We were worried about you,” Mike said. “Coming back to the table?”

“Oh. Sure.” A faint crease appeared between her eyebrows. “Um…thanks for the drink, Doug.”

Doug the lech didn’t look too pleased as Mike led her away from him.

“He bought you a drink?” Mike said through gritted teeth, hand still circling her upper arm.

“Yes.” She stopped and stared up at him. “What’s your problem?”

“What were you doing with that guy?”

“I was talking to him! What did it look like?”

“It looked like he was ready to jump your bones, and after buying you a drink that’s probably what he expected.”

She opened her mouth and then snapped it shut. “I was just talking to him. And what’s it to you, anyway?”

“Are you fucking kidding me? What’s it to me?” He stared at her, dumfounded.

She shook off his arm. “Geez, Mike, let go of me.”

“Hey. Wait. I don’t understand how you can even ask that.”

A girl passing by sent them a strange look, and he realized they were practically yelling in the middle of the club. He took her arm again and led her toward the doors.

“Where are we going?”

“Outside. I need some air.”

“I don’t want to go outside.”

“Yes. You do.”

They stepped out into the cool night, scented with ocean and jasmine from the pots of flowers growing near the entrance. He led her past the lineup of people on the sidewalk, waiting to get in, and around the corner.

“Is this because I was dancing with Carlos?” she asked.

He stared at her. “No!”

She gazed back at him, her big eyes shadowy, her pretty mouth tight. “Really?”

“Really.” How bizarre was it, that he wasn’t jealous of Carlos? Watching the two of them together had made him happy. And hot. But seeing her with that other guy… He rubbed his eyes. He knew how insane it was. And how impossible to explain. “It was that other guy. Why’d you let him buy you a drink?”

“Because I wanted a drink and I didn’t have my purse with me.”

“You…” He shook his head. “You can’t do that.”

“Why not?”

“Guys expect things…when they buy you a drink.”

“Do you think I was going to leave with him or something?”

“Fuck.” Something hot and sharp turned inside him. “Would you?”

She kept her face expressionless. “Maybe.”

“Bullshit! You came here with me. You’re telling me you’d let some other guy buy you a drink and leave with him?”

“I can leave with whoever I want.”

He wanted to drive his fist through the wall right behind her. His jaw ached from clenching it so tightly. “No,” he said. “You can’t. You’re with me.”

Her eyes narrowed. “What does that mean, exactly?”

“It means, you’re with me. We’re in a relationship. You don’t let other guys buy you drinks. You don’t go home with them. You don’t see anyone else but me.”

She folded her arms across her chest. “Do you know how Neanderthal you sound?”

His body rigid, he dragged in a deep breath. Let it out slowly. “Yeah. But dammit, Jules, I shouldn’t have to tell you this.”

“Are you asking me to go steady with you?” she asked, a mocking tone in her voice.

He closed his eyes. Then he opened them and pinned her with a stare. “Okay. Yeah. I am.”

She blinked at him.

“Exclusive. You and me.”
And Carlos.
Leaving Carlos out made the words stick in his throat.

She opened her mouth, but then her face sort of crumpled and her shoulders sagged. She turned away from him and covered her face with her hands. Aw, hell. “Jules. What?”

“I don’t know how to do that,” she said, her voice choked. “I don’t think I can.”

Chapter Eleven

They went back inside the club. Jules had regained control of her emotions after Mike had turned her around and hugged her. His apology for coming on so strong made her feel like the biggest bitch in the world. She’d been the one flirting with another guy. She wasn’t sure what was happening between her and Mike, but even she knew that you didn’t go out with one guy and then flirt with someone else.

After dancing with Carlos, she’d been so mixed up, so guilty. Because she’d been so attracted to Carlos, so turned on dancing with him like that. The way he’d stared into her eyes so intensely, the sexy way he’d moved his body with hers, against hers, and his obvious arousal had turned her on. But this was Mike’s
friend
. How could she be feeling like that about him?

She’d barely been able to look at Mike afterward, bolting for the ladies’ room, and then on her way back she’d let that guy stop her and talk to her, and buy her a drink, mostly because she was terrified to go back and face Mike and Carlos again. What had she done?

Mike said he wasn’t jealous of how they’d been dancing. But he’d been furious about that other guy. Which she supposed meant he trusted Carlos not to do anything with her. But wow, the way Carlos had been looking at her, the erection she’d felt…

She accepted the lemon drop Neve had ordered for her, although it had now been sitting for a while. The Surf Sisters had arrived while they’d been gone, so she and Mike greeted Jaden and Bella and she managed to converse while keeping a determined smile pasted on her face. Bella cornered Carlos, flirting like crazy, batting her eyelashes at him and giggling, and Jules met his eyes. She caught the plea for help in his expression, but hell, there was no good way for her to rescue him from Bella without Bella thinking she was trying to steal him away from her. So she gave Carlos a helpless lift of one shoulder and a little grimace. He rolled his eyes.

She took a sip of her drink to hide her smile.

Mike stood there, talking with others, one hand on the small of her back, rubbing small circles in a gesture that was almost proprietary. It should have annoyed her, but instead it calmed her. Steadied her.

What was happening between them?

Going steady. As if they were teenagers. But still. The idea of having a boyfriend, someone she dated exclusively was…crazy. Just the thought made sweat pop out on her forehead, made her palms clammy, made her lungs squeeze like she couldn’t breathe. A relationship. With a man.

She’d been completely honest with Mike when she’d blurted out that confession—she didn’t know if she could do that. Her heart beat with a rapid percussion against her ribs and a chill gripped her body, making goose bumps rise up on her bare arms.

He looked down at her, slid his arm around her waist and pulled her closer, and she eased into him. He was so warm and she felt so cold. She wanted to soak up his body heat. His arm around her felt safe. Secure.

The urge to run receded a little. It was crazy, but if there was ever a guy she was tempted to actually try to have a relationship with, it was Mike. Should she try?

Her gaze landed on Carlos again and she watched him talk to Bella. Once again, it was clear to her that he had no interest in Bella, but he was being polite, listening to her, smiling, nodding. A gnawing feeling inside Jules made her stiffen. Jesus. Was she jealous?

She couldn’t hear exactly what they were saying, so she moved a little closer, standing sideways to them so she didn’t appear to be eavesdropping.

“I’m sorry, Bella,” Carlos said with gentle firmness. “You’re a great girl, but there’s someone else I’m kind of interested in. I’m sorry.”

Bella gazed back at him, disappointment evident on her face. She pursed her lips and gave a short nod. Jules quickly averted her gaze, watching the people on the dance floor, as if oblivious to what had just been said. When she turned back a few seconds later, Bella had disappeared.

Carlos was interested in someone else? Or had he just said that to let Bella down gently? If there was someone else, who was she? And why did that bug her so much?

Oh man, this wasn’t good. Carlos wasn’t hers, and if she was going to have any hope at all of having something with Mike, she couldn’t be thinking about Carlos that way.

They’d had fun this past week. For a change Carlos had been home when she’d gone over to Mike’s for dinner and, like that first night they’d invited her over, they’d all flirted a little throughout the evening, joking around, trash talking and getting to know each other. Carlos was a little crazy, with his rock climbing and hang gliding, but he was fun.

Neve’s sister arrived at the club with her husband, and it turned out he and Carlos knew each other from the Navy. They had everyone laughing with their stories and it was a fun evening with friends. Mike and Carlos fit right in with everyone, but through the rest of the evening Jules was hyperaware of Mike, where he was, when he was looking at her.

Later, they took a taxi home since they’d all been drinking, and when it let them out in front of Mike and Carlos’s house, Mike took her hand and started leading her to his front door. Jules’s brain had been a jumbled mass of thoughts all evening, doubts and fears mingled with hope and desire. This was the moment when she had to decide. She probably should go home by herself. But if she did that, she knew things with Mike would be over.

If she went with him, he was going to have expectations that she didn’t know if she could live up to. Her feet slowed as they walked. Mike stopped on the sidewalk.

Carlos unlocked the front door and stepped inside. He turned, looked at them, paused. Jules’s breath suspended as he looked at them. Then he smiled and closed the door behind him, leaving her and Mike alone on the front step.

She turned her face up to him.

“Coming in?” he asked, his voice soft.

She studied his face, the strong shape of his jaw, the neat sideburns, thick eyebrows. Her gaze moved over his straight nose, the faint stubble that shadowed his upper lip and cheeks, his full bottom lip. In his eyes she saw his question, his own fear and vulnerability. And she said, “Yes.”

Jules awoke in the morning in Mike’s bed, amid tangled sheets and his warm scent, but without him. As her eyes fluttered open and consciousness filtered back, she stretched, a delicious, full body stretch that pointed her toes, with her arms raised above her head. She lay like that for a few long, luscious moments, staring at the ceiling in the dim room.

Where had he gone? She heard no sounds from his attached bathroom. In fact the whole house sat silent. Saturday morning. Had he and Carlos left her alone and made their usual weekend trip to the home and garden center?

Maybe.

After Mike had led her into the house last night, he’d ushered her to his bedroom and taken her to bed. The most patient lover she’d ever had, he’d slowly undressed her, kissed her, stroked her, licked her to orgasm and then fucked her. He’d stolen her breath, made her feel cared for and special, when she knew she didn’t deserve it. But he made her
want
to deserve it.

As they’d fallen asleep wrapped in each other’s arms, he’d whispered, “I know it’s scary, Jules. We’ll talk more about it tomorrow. Okay?”

And she’d agreed. Tomorrow.

Alone in his bed now, she closed her eyes. An exclusive relationship. With one man. With Mike. She couldn’t deny the feelings that had developed for him. Gratitude that he understood her so well, even though that scared her, gratitude that he didn’t push too hard. Lust. Definitely lust. But also affection and amusement and respect.

It was all so foreign to her, but the idea of giving all that up because of her own stupid fears and insecurities made her painfully sad. So maybe, this time, she would try. She inhaled a long slow breath and let it out, then rolled out of bed.

She used his bathroom, used the toothbrush he’d set aside for her, washed her face and brushed her hair. Back in his bedroom, she frowned at her sequined tank top and skinny jeans lying crumpled on the floor. She grabbed for the shirt he’d worn the night before, a soft button down shirt in black-and-gray plaid, and slid it on over her panties. Then she wandered out to the kitchen, wondering if they’d been nice enough to leave coffee for her.