How to Defeat Harmful Habits (Counseling Through the Bible Series) (56 page)

C
an strugglers with addictions find lasting freedom? Yes, of course—millions have! But often the march to freedom is marked by “two steps forward, one step back.” In the final analysis, what makes the difference between success and failure? For the majority of strugglers it is some type of 12-step program. My friend Frank explained it this way:

For those recovering from alcohol and drug abuse, it would be hard to overemphasize the importance of participating in a 12-step program. The program I followed provided me with a step-by-step process for resurrendering my life to God and cleansing myself of the damaging debris I’d collected during the years of my addiction.

Following these steps not only led me to sobriety, but also to a restored relationship with Christ. As I worked my way through the program, my attitude progressed—from despair to hope, and finally to happiness and gratitude. It’s truly amazing what these 12 biblically based principles can do, and how they continue to transform the lives of people who practice them.

The first three steps provide the necessary foundation not only for recovery, but also for a life dedicated to Christ. I like to sum up these steps as “I can’t. He can. I’ll let Him.”

Without acknowledging these first three foundational steps, there is no power for overcoming an addiction. I have known countless people who are unable to be set free because their pride would not allow them to admit they were powerless and they needed God’s help. We have a saying in the program: “My own best thinking got me here.” Simply stated, as long as we maintain control of our lives, we are doomed to fail.

For me, steps 4 through 6 provided the path to begin honestly identifying the anger, resentment, fear, and guilt that was poisoning my life. At the beginning of my journey, my head much preferred getting on these well-worn mental trails. However, they turned out to be the quickest route back to my addiction. When I’m faithful to identify and confess these issues to God—and to another person—I’m freed from their bondage and able to enjoy my life in Christ. I like to tell newcomers to the 12-step program that steps 4 through 6 put the “smile in sobriety.”

Steps 7 through 9 build on the previous six steps by prompting me to make things right with others to the extent that I am able. At first, I was anxious about step 9—making amends. But I was surprised at how gracious and forgiving most people were as I began to apologize, ask forgiveness, and offer to make restitution. I often hear step 9 referred to as “taking out the trash”—the final cleaning out of our temple for the Holy Spirit, who resides in us.

The last three steps are maintenance steps. We must…

Step 10—Continue dealing with our resentment and fear as they arise

Step 11—Seek to strengthen our relationship with God

Step 12—Pass on to others this wonderful gift of real hope for sobriety that we’ve been given

Helping others keeps us from dwelling on our own circumstances and constantly reinforces an “attitude of gratitude” for our new life.

As a recovery pastor, I regularly see three groups of people: Those who are not recovering, those who are recovering, and those who are grateful for their recovery. Continuously working the 12 steps is what differentiates the second group of people from the third. Those in the last group have done the work to bring a cleansing and healing from their past. Those in the second group are some of the unhappiest people I know. They are sober but they haven’t released the resentment, guilt, and fear that is poisoning their lives. Ironically, they are often unhappier than those still abusing substances because they no longer have their addiction as a crutch.

As I work with people in each group, I encourage them to join me on this 12-step journey to experience a new freedom they never dreamed possible. I invite them to experience a fulfilling life beyond their wildest dreams.

My friend Frank has been living out the original plan created by a doctor and an investor, both highly successful but deeply broken individuals, who began meeting together in 1935 to help each other overcome their dependence on alcohol. Their partnership gave birth to the famous 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous.
¹
In the years since, more than two million people have experienced recovery due, in part, to following the principles prescribed by Alcoholics Anonymous.
²
In time, others adapted the principles from AA to aid in recovery from addictions such as gambling, overeating, drugs, and sex.

While AA embraces spirituality, it is not an explicitly Christian organization. It is focused solely on the problem and process of overcoming substance abuse. Although not everyone involved with or benefiting from AA is a follower of Christ, the principles that provide support for the well-known and effective 12 steps represent timeless truths found in the Bible. Although Frank benefited from the “secular” 12 steps, his journey to recovery was influenced by his Christian faith. As you journey into recovery or help others do so, be certain to take a distinctively Christian approach:

1. Admit you are powerless
over your dependency.

“I am unable to manage my life; I cannot control my life.”

–
Accept
your dependent condition and your vulnerability to addiction.

–
Acknowledge
your inability to manage your life and to overcome your addiction and dependency.

–
Articulate
to God your total inadequacy and your desperate need of His power in your life.

“In our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead”

(2 C
ORINTHIANS
1:9).

2.
Realize that the God who made you
and saved you has the power to restore you.

“I am asking Christ to be my Redeemer, to restore every area of my life.”

–
Accept
the Lordship of Christ Jesus in your life as your Master, Ruler, and Owner.

–
Acknowledge
your need for God to comfort you and to restore you to wholeness.

–
Articulate
your gratitude to God for His saving power operating within your mind, will, and emotions, and thank Him for what He plans to do in and through your life.

“Though you have made me see troubles, many and
bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths
of the earth you will again bring me up. You will
increase my honor and comfort me once again”

(P
SALM
71:20-21).

3.
Yield your will
to the will of the Lord.

“I am asking Christ to take control of my life.”

–
Accept
the fact that your sinful nature died on the cross with Jesus and that sin (your addiction) is no longer to rule your life.

–
Acknowledge
the devastation that has resulted from your self-willed living in the past.

–
Articulate
your determination to stop your self-willed living and your decision to yield your will to the Lord.

“Trust in the L
ORD
with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight”

(P
ROVERBS
3:5-6).

4.
Face reality
—face your true self.

“I will look honestly at my life, asking God to uncover my sins and character flaws.”

–
Accept
the truth that you have deceived yourself about your dependency and your desperate need for help.

–
Acknowledge
your previous reluctance to face the truth about your wrong choices and patterns.

–
Articulate
to God and to others your willingness to know the truth about yourself and your commitment to honestly evaluating your life, your strengths, and your weaknesses.

“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and
know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive
way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting”

(P
SALM
139:23-24).

5.
Admit your struggle with sin,
both to God and to someone else.

“May I see my sin as God sees it and hate my sin as God hates it.”

–
Accept
the depth and the duration of your struggle with addiction.

–
Acknowledge
to a supportive person the power that your dependency has had over you. Confirm your present commitment to freedom.

–
Articulate
to both God and a friend your desire to overcome your dependency and to live in the victory Jesus secured for you.

“If we claim to be without sin, we deceive
ourselves and the truth is not in us”

(1 J
OHN
1:8).

6.
Humbly accept God’s help
to change your patterns of the past.

“I will commit my life into the care of Christ.”

–
Accept
your limitations and your need for help in changing your unhealthy patterns of dealing with life.

–
Acknowledge
your frailty and the feebleness of your willpower and self-effort to effect change.

–
Articulate
to God your helplessness and your pledge to cooperate with Him as He changes you from the inside out.

“Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty
hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all
your anxiety on him because he cares for you”

(1 P
ETER
5:6-7).

7.
Confess your defects
and daily failings.

“I’m willing to see myself as God sees me.”

–
Accept
that you are not perfect and that you will fail at times despite your good intentions.

–
Acknowledge
your failures immediately and confess them to God and to those you have offended. Then correct your course.

–
Articulate
any sins and shortcomings to God on a daily basis, and claim His forgiveness and cleansing.

“Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast
spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or
take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your
salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me”

(P
SALM
51:10-12).

8.
Ask forgiveness
of those you have offended.

“I will find those whom I’ve hurt and from my heart ask for forgiveness.”

–
Accept
your need to ask forgiveness of anyone you have offended, even though you may have been offended yourself.

–
Acknowledge
your great need of God’s mercy and grace and your resolve to extend mercy and grace to others.

–
Articulate
your grief and regret to both God and to those you have offended, and your resolve to change the things you need to change.

“If you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember
that your brother has something against you, leave your
gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled
to your brother; then come and offer your gift”

(M
ATTHEW
5:23-24).

9.
Make restitution
to those you have wronged.

“I will go and make amends where possible with the help of God.”

–
Accept
your obligation to do whatever is within your power in order to right your wrongs.

–
Acknowledge
to God and to those whom you have wronged your desire to make amends in any way possible.

–
Articulate
your responsibility to make restitution and your commitment to repay whatever debt you owe, whether repaying money or labor, correcting a lie, showing respect, or extending love.

“If he gives back what he took in pledge for a loan, returns
what he has stolen, follows the decrees that give life, and
does no evil, he will surely live; he will not die. None of the
sins he has committed will be remembered against him. He
has done what is just and right; he will surely live”