How to Defeat Harmful Habits (Counseling Through the Bible Series) (31 page)

– Be free from being controlled by the opinion of others.

– You are free to be the healthy size God created you to be.

– The world’s supermodels and movie stars are generally underweight and unhealthy.

“So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed”

(J
OHN
8:36).

People with eating disorders are love-starved. Express your love to them by keeping eye contact with them and spending time with them—lots of time. This is how they spell love: T-I-M-E. Those with eating disorders don’t feel valued. So show that you value them.

You will confirm other people’s value when you tangibly reach out to them and touch them. Even if they don’t seem to respond at first, know that they are desperately seeking your acceptance. They desperately long for unconditional love—
your love, the Lord’s love
.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls”

(M
ATTHEW
11:28-29).

Like a struggling swimmer, Cherry was trying to stay afloat in the sea of self-disdain, but she was barely surviving. She was caught in the undertow of self-hatred, and she couldn’t break free.

Caught? Yes, caught and caught again! At the same time, her fiancé, Dan, caught her squatting on the floor, gorging on leftover lamb chops—in the Boone family’s dog bowl.
¹⁰⁵
Cherry was anything but free.

True freedom can be found by anyone who is trapped in any kind of bondage. But it means facing the facts, assuming responsibility, making choices, taking action, sticking it out. Finding freedom and living in it takes work. But this freedom is worth the labor. Freedom cuts the cords of perfectionism so that you can soar to become all that God created you to be.

It was for this purpose that Jesus was sent:

“…to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners…to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve…to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair”

(I
SAIAH
61:1-3).

T
HE
W
AY TO
F
REEDOM

If you have an eating disorder, here are your first steps to freedom:

•
Recognize you have an eating disorder.

– Face the truth of your unhealthy weight loss and obsession with fat and food.

– Accept the fact that your life and health are seriously compromised.

•
Acknowledge your need.

– Admit your enslavement to an eating disorder and its power over your life.

– Share your struggle with a trusted friend and break the power of the secret.

•
Get professional help.

– Seek out a therapist experienced in successfully treating those ensnared by an eating disorder.

– Realize that it is vital to get help for understanding your illness and overcoming its hold on you.

•
Discover your past predispositions.

– Explore the family dynamics that “set you up” to have an eating disorder.

– Evaluate past events that still impact your life today and influence your decision making.

•
Identify your present stressors.

– Examine your life (activities and relationships) and pinpoint areas of stress.

– Reflect on any similarities between past life experiences and present-day situations.

•
Avoid your destructive patterns.

– Recognize activities where food is the focus and break those patterns.

– Replace energy-draining behaviors involving food with enjoyable energy-producing activities not involving food.

•
Flee the triggers that entice unhealthy eating habits.

– Reflect on times and events that have entrenched you further in destructive eating behaviors.

– Devise a plan of action to overcome unexpected temptations to skip a meal or to binge/purge.

•
Resist the urges that compel your wrong eating behaviors.

– Commit to distracting yourself whenever you suddenly feel compelled to “act out” with food.

– Plan an activity you will do when you feel the urge to binge or purge.

You cannot hope to walk in freedom unless you walk in the truth. Tell yourself the truth: “Lord, You created my body. You know what is best for my body.” Then pray every day…

“Teach me your way, O L
ORD
, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear [honor] your name”

(P
SALM
86:11).

T
HE
W
AY TO
S
USTAINED
F
REEDOM

Here are the keys to achieving true and total freedom:

•
Yield yourself to God.

– Surrender your life, your heart, your mind, your will, and your emotions to Christ.

– Submit to God’s rule in your life over your relationships, your thoughts, and your actions.

“Submit yourselves, then, to God
.

Resist the devil, and he will flee from you”

(J
AMES
4:7).

•
Claim your victory in Christ.

– Accept by faith the fact that Christ has set you free from the power of sin and death.

– Act on your faith by thinking, talking, and living in ways that reflect your position as an overcomer through Christ, as one who has moved from death to life.

“Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness”

(R
OMANS
6:13).

•
Picture your success.

– Count yourself dead to the call of temptation that would cause you to give in to sin.

– Consider yourself a citizen of heaven—one who is submitted to Jesus Christ and walks in victory over worldly and fleshly desires.

“Our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body”

(P
HILIPPIANS
3:20-21).

•
Replace lies with the truth.

– Reject negative thoughts about yourself and replace them with biblical truths that affirm your value and worth to God and the extent of His commitment to you as His child, His priceless possession.

– Remember that feelings change and cannot be trusted, but God does not change. He is totally trustworthy, and His promises are utterly reliable in every circumstance and at all times.

“Since we have these promises, dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God”

(2 C
ORINTHIANS
7:1).

•
Devise a plan for daily success.

– Begin and end each day in prayer, praise, and worship, thanking God and seeking His continued guidance.

– Be sure to lay out a detailed plan for each day that contains your daily activities, including balanced meals, Bible study, Scripture memorization, and other healthy practices.

“As long as he sought the L
ORD
, God gave him success”

(2 C
HRONICLES
26:5).

•
Enlist the support of others.

– Get involved in a group Bible study or prayer group where you can study God’s Word and share prayer requests with other Christians on a regular basis.

– Gather some friends who will help hold you accountable by checking with you on a daily basis, asking you questions about how you’re doing, and praying for you to keep walking in freedom.

“If one falls down, his friend can help him up
.
But pity the man who falls and has no
one to help him up!…Perfume and incense
bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of
one’s friend springs from his earnest counsel”

(E
CCLESIASTES
4:10; P
ROVERBS
27:9).

•
Throw away your bathroom scale.

– Make it your goal to eat healthily, not to lose or gain weight. Trust God to fulfill His promise to provide for your needs as you delight in Him and focus on His desires for you.

– Manage your life well, maintain a good balance in all areas, make a plan, and then carry out that plan. Put away your bathroom scale, which will only hold you captive to human traditions.

“See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ”

(C
OLOSSIANS
2:8).

•
Journal your journey.

– Realize that it is important for you to remember your journey with Christ into the freedom He died to secure for you.

– Record in a daily journal the ways the Lord is manifesting His power in your life. Then share them with your loved ones—both young and old—to encourage them and to bring glory to God.

“Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates”

(D
EUTERONOMY
11:18-20).

Remember this biblical truth as you walk the road of freedom in Christ Jesus:

“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free
.

Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened

again by a yoke of slavery”

(G
ALATIANS
5:1).

If a little is good, a lot is better
. So goes the thinking of overeaters who struggle to find balance in their life—and in their diet. Much of the time, when a little is good, a lot is not! And at other times, especially for anorexic and bulimic strugglers—if a little is good, less is not!

In our pursuit of what we perceive to be best for ourselves, we sometimes throw out the good and end up with something worse. We can forget that when God saw all He had created, He said, “It is good.”

Healthy
is good.
Balance
is good. Healthy, balanced eating is good, and it is possible—even for the anorexic and bulimic. The questions you need to ask are these: Will you do it? How will you do it? When will you do it? Where will you do it? And what are the ramifications of not doing it?

“God saw all that he had made, and it was very good”

(G
ENESIS
1:31).

•
Decide to try healthy, balanced eating:

– Keep unhealthy foods out of sight and in hard-to-reach places.

– Learn how to eat healthy, not how to avoid eating or how to purge after eating.

– Make a nutritional plan for each day, using a variety of foods and recording your calorie intake.

– Make a shopping list, and don’t shop when you are hungry.

– Realize that strict diets lead to sure failure, whereas a lifestyle of healthy eating leads to sure success.

– Reward yourself for eating healthily, but don’t reward yourself with food.