How Many Chances (24 page)

And just like that her mind was made up. She knew what she needed to do.

“You’
re doing what?” Sid exclaimed in completely and utter disbelief. He could not get his head around what she had just said.

“I am book
ed on a flight to London first thing in the morning.” Ally said trying to act like she was sure of her decision. But the truth was she was heartbroken. It had been five days since she discovered she was carrying Cole’s baby and five days since she decided she couldn’t have this baby.

When she wo
ke up the morning after she had found out she was pregnant, she went straight on to the internet as soon as Cole had gone to work and started googling clinics in London where she could travel to alone to have the pregnancy terminated. She wished she could have stayed in Dublin but that wasn’t an option with Irish laws.

After
she had made the appointment and talked to the counsellor on the phone, she spent the days sobbing. She hadn’t slept a wink in days. Spending night after night tossing and turning.

Cole
knew something was very wrong but Ally refused to discuss it. She could barely look him in the face.

Even though she knew he didn’t want a ch
ild, Ally couldn’t get past that fact it was his child she was getting rid of. The guilt was already consuming her.

It was part of her and part of him. She dreamed of a little boy with black wavy hair and piercing blue eyes just like Coles.

She had changed her mind about going through with it again and again. She talked herself into it and then back out of it over and over,

Finally she accepted the fact, this was
just something she would have to do for her and Cole and she would have to live with this for the rest of her life.

“Ally please, “Sid begged, know
ing this was not what Ally really wanted in her heart. He knew she was scared and panicking but if she did this she would regret it for as long as she lived. “You can’t do this. This is a huge mistake. You need to talk to Cole.”

“Sid, I don’t need you judging me,” Ally sighed as she put her coffee down on the table in the pub. She had called him the night before and asked him to meet her so she could tell him face to face what she had decided to do. “This isn’t something I have decided on a whim. This is the only option I have.”

“You know that is not true,” Sid insisted. “You haven’t even discussed this with Hannah or Caitlin. Hannah would be here for you in a heartbeat. Let me call her…”

“No!” Ally exclaimed in horror as Sid pulled out his phone. “Please don’t’, the least that know about this, the better. Sid I am not proud of myself for what I am about to do…”

“Then why do it?” Sid said reaching out and taking hold of Ally’s hand. “Please Ally, I know you. This will eat away at you.”

“Sid,” she said, wiping the tears that had suddenl
y broke free. “I have no choice. I have been that child who no one wanted. I can’t bring a child into this world to go through the same thing.”

“But you will wan
t it,” Sid said softly. “Ally it will be your baby, you will love it…”

“I can’t do this,” Ally sobbed standing up so quickly
as the panic rose inside her, she knocked the chair over. She didn’t slow to pick it up.

“Ally, wait,” Sid called out after her but she didn’t slow down.

He pulled money from his pocket and threw it on the table, enough to cover the bill and a generous tip. Then he hurried out of the pub after Ally. For a moment he couldn’t see her but then he spotted her crossing the road heading to the car park across the street where her car was parked.

“Ally!” he called out as he hurried across the road. She had just reached her car when he caught up with her.

“I’m sorry,” He said stopping her from getting into the car. He was gasping for breath after chasing after. He leaned over and rested his hands on his knees and tried to calm his breathing. “I am not going to lie to you and say I understand, because I don’t. But I don’t need to understand. I just need you to know I am here for you. I will support whatever you decide.”

“Thank you,” Ally nodded, wiping the tears from her eyes.
She knew this wasn’t easy for him. He didn’t agree with her decision but the fact he was prepared to support her meant the world to her.

“Let me come with you,” Sid
pleaded, surprising Ally completely. “It breaks my heart to think of you going through this alone.”

“I really wish you could,” Ally said giving him a sad smile. “But I have told Cole I am going to London to meet him Mom to go looking for wedding dresses.”

“Ally, you can’t do this alone,” he pushed. “Why don’t you let me talk to Hannah, she could go with you. Cole would think that was perfectly normal for her to go with you. At least that way you wouldn’t be alone.”

“No, Sid
promise me,” Ally begged the panic clear in her face. She was horrified as the thought of him telling someone else what she was about to do. “You can never tell a soul about this. Please you have to promise me.”

“I promise,”
he agreed but he wasn’t happy about it. He thought she was wrong but he knew he had to respect her wishes and pray to god she didn’t live to regret it.

“Thank you,” she whispered as she kissed his cheek. “I should get going. Cole is taking me to dinner tonight.”

“Call me tomorrow before you go in,” Sid asked, taking hold of her hand. “And the minute it’s over too.”

“I will,” she agreed and smiled at him. She looked so sad, Sid’s heart was breaking for
his friend. He knew in his heart she was making a big mistake. But he would be there for her none the less. And he would pick up the pieces if that’s what she needed him to do.

She climbed into her car and started the engine. She looked out at Sid one more time and smiled
as him sadly before she pulled out of her parking space and headed for home.

As she drove home she freely cried
, totally unconcerned that other drivers could see her. When she reached the house she was relieved Cole wasn’t home yet.

She quietly let herself into the house and headed
straight up the stairs. Once in the safety of her bedroom she stripped her clothes off and headed straight into the shower. Once beneath the hot water she gave over to her tears again as she held her stomach in her hands and sobbed harder.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered quietly.
“Oh God forgive me. I am so sorry,”

She slid down to the floor of the shower and cried until she had no tears left inside.

She heard Cole calling her name a short while later. He was in the bedroom. She scrambled to her feet because she knew it was just a matter of moments before Cole would burst into the bathroom.

And sure enough, seconds later he came bounding into the bathroom.

“There you are,” he exclaimed when he saw Ally in the shower.

“Where else would I be?” she laughed.
Before she could say another word he was stripping and climbing into the shower with her.

Without
saying a single word he turned her to him and quickly claimed her mouth with his. He drew her closer to him until their bodies became one. He reached down and cupped her bum with his hand and pressed her closer to him.

“I want you,” he whispered breathlessly again
st her mouth. He kissed her again but his time harder and hungrier. Ally could barely breathe. Taking hold of her two hands he raised them up against the wall above her head, holding them there with just one hand

He broke his lips from her but they were barely inches apart. He stared deep into her
eyes as he ran the tips of his fingers down her face.

Never taking his eyes from hers h
e ran his finger along her collar bone and then slowly made his way down to her breasts. Teasing her nipples as they puckered and hardened beneath his touch. Slowly he traced his fingertips down her stomach as he traced circles around her belly button.

The touch of his hands again
st her there made her heart ache. She closed her eyes to hide the pain she couldn’t bare him to see.

But he continued on the journey down her body.
She could feel his fingertips trace over her pubic bone and down to her soft wet folds.

“Open you
r eyes, gorgeous girl,” he commanded her and she did. She stared into his eyes and his fingers slipped deep inside her. She cried out softly but he covered her mouth with his as he kissed her tenderly. He pushed his fingers in deeper and circled her clit with the pad of his thumb.

She could feel her legs begin to shake as her body responded to his touch like it always did.
She closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the wall and allowed him to take her higher. She could feel the same familiar feeling in the pit of her stomach. She flickered open her eyes and found his ice blue staring back at her.

He said nothing but held her gaze as he glided his fingers in and out of her,
leaning in and claiming her mouth once again. She groaned into his mouth as he pushed into her further.

He pulled his fingers
from her and she cried out at the sudden emptiness. He reached down and grabbed her thigh and lifted it, wrapping it around his hip.  He pinned her hands tighter to the wall as he reached between them and positioned himself against her and pushed his entire rock hard cock into her.

She cried out with the fullness as he gripped her thigh again and pulled her closer to him, pushing into h
er harder.

“I love you,” he breathed
against her mouth. He kissed her tenderly and he drew his entire length out of her body and slammed back into her as she cried out once again. “This is us Ally,” he said as he withdrew once more before he slammed into her again. “This is what we do to each other.”

H
e slammed into her again but this time he didn’t stop. She cried out as he drove her higher. But his pace just picked up.

“Cole!” she
moaned, she long to touched him. But her hands were trapped. He kissed her hard as he slid in and out of her. She closed her eyes as her head began spin. She could feel her whole body shake as her orgasm took hold of her.

He pushed into her hard, one last time as he came deep inside her.

She cried out and her orgasm tore through her and her body shook violently.

His legs finally gave way as he slumped to the ground still inside her, he pulled her to him. Both breathless and lost in their own thoughts

“I know you are hurting,” Cole whispered a
gainst the top of her head. “You seem lost and I am so scared because I don’t know how to make it right. I am afraid of losing you.”

Ally looked up at Cole and wish
ed she could tell him everything. That tomorrow she would board a plane and get rid of a baby simply because she loved him so much.

But she couldn’t say the words nor could she hold the tears back. He didn’t say another word, instead he wrapped her in his arms and let her cry.

She cried for them both. And for the baby she would never get to know.

Ally looked at herself in the full length mirror. She had chosen the dress Cole had bought her for their first official date. She wanted to try, for one night to feel the way she had felt on that night. It had been one of the best nights of her life. She was so happy that night. She was full of hope. Not like now, now she just felt helpless.

She looked closer at her eyes, they were still a little puffy from crying but she had done a good job covering them up with her make up
.

She left her hair down in soft curls. She always looked better with her hair down. She was happy
with her appearance. If only she felt as good on the inside as she looked on the outside.

“Are you ready?” Cole asked as he appeared at the door of the wardrobe.

“I am,” she turned and smiled at him. He was dressed in his usual black suit, but this time he wore a baby blue shirt and matching tie. Ally thought he had never looked more handsome then he did right then and there. The colour of the shirt brought out the piercing blue in his eyes.

“I have
a little something for you,” Cole said stepping further into the wardrobe and holding out a long black velvet box. Ally looked down at the box and then back up at Cole.

“You don’t have to buy me anything,”
Ally said but she could not hide the excitement as Cole opened the box slowly and revealed the most beautiful diamond bracelet Ally had ever seen resting on a white satin pillow. She was completely speechless. It was the most perfect thing she had ever seen

“I know I don’t have to,” Cole
grinned as he slipped it out of the box and held either side waiting for Ally to hold up her wrist. “I bought it because I wanted to.”

“It’s perfect,” Ally smiled as Cole fastened it on her wrist.
She held out her arm and was completely lost in the twinkling of the diamonds from the spot light of the wardrobe.

“Just l
ike you,” he replied and kissed her gently on the lips. “Are you sure you are up for tonight?”

“Yes,” she nodded and smiled. She wanted to go out and spend a night with Cole and forget about everything else. Tomorrow was going to come regardless and would no doubt stay with her forever. But for tonight she could still just be her.
“I am looking forward to it.”

He
smiled and took her by the hand. Once she picked up her wrap and clutch, he led her out of the bedroom and down the stairs.

She watched him as he walked slightly in front of her.
She thought how handsome he was. She loved his gorgeous, sparkling eyes, his perfect lips and his strong jawline. She truly adored him. He was simply perfect in every way. And she knew she was doing the right thing. She couldn’t live without him. It was that simple.

He led her to the car and
Liam greeted her as he opened the door of the Rover for her and stepped back to let her in. She climbed in and slid across the back seat of the car as Cole climbed in behind her.

“You looking stunning, by the way,” he smiled as he leaned over and kissed her. “I love you,”

“I love you too,” she smiled back at him. And she really did.

They drove in silence to the restaurant, each lost in the
ir own thoughts. Cole held Ally’s hand tightly. She glanced down at their hands. At their fingers weaved together and Ally felt safe and happy. For that moment, right there in the back of the car, everything was perfect.

When they reach the restaurant, Cole stepped out of the car
first and held out his hand for Ally.

She
took his hand as she stepped out and Cole led her down some steps to the basement of a beautiful Georgian house. The name of the restaurant was Chapter One. Ally had heard of it but had never been. It was a very prestigious restaurant and way out of her price range.

“
Welcome to Chapter One,” a pretty brunette said with a friendly smile as they walked through the door. “What’s the name?”

“Thomas,” Cole replied, and glanced over at Ally.
She was smiling to herself and it made Cole smile too.

“
Ah yes, Mr Thomas” she said as she looked from Cole to Ally. “The rest of your party is already here.”

“The rest?” Ally asked, confused. She thought it was going to be just her and Cole.

“I thought you needed a little cheering up,” Cole said with a smile as he held Ally’s hand and followed the girl down the hallway to the little private room Cole had booked for them. “And I know how much you love your girls.”

Ally turned around and saw Caitlin and Hannah, along with Sid a
nd Nathan sitting at the table in the little private room Cole had booked.

“Oh my God!” Ally exclaimed, feeling a little overwhelmed. This was
exactly what she needed. She needed to be with her friends and try to forget about her troubles. She turned to Cole with a huge smile on her face and kissed him on the lips. “Thank you so much for doing this.”

“You are very welcome, gorgeous girl,” he grinned as he leaned in and kissed her
again.

Each of her friend got up and in turned hugged Ally and she couldn’t help but beam back at each of them. Cole stood back and watched her with her friends and for the first time in days she looked truly happy.

He couldn’t help but think just how stunning she looked tonight. She was truly beautiful and perfect in every way.

They
all took their seats once again when Ally had greeted each of her friends and the waitress arrived with the wine menu.

Cole waved it away
and ordered a bottle of champagne and Hannah and Caitlin squealed excitedly. When the waitress returned with it the champagne in an ice bucket, she popped the cork to a huge cheer and she poured the six friends a glass each and left them alone.

“I would like to make a toast,” Cole said standing up and picking up his glass. “As you all know, this beautiful girl has agreed to make me the happiest man alive and marry me. I just want to take a moment to say I know I have messed up. And I have hurt her. But I love her. And I will spend every day, for the rest of my life making sure she is never hurt or unhappy again.”

He looked down at Ally and smiled then raised his glass, turning back to the rest of the group.

“To Ally.” he said raising his glass
higher.

“To Ally,” they rests echoed. Ally brought the glass to her lips but paused. She was pregnant and she shouldn’t be drinking
so she pretended to take a sip before she put the glass back down on the table. She glanced up and her eye connected with Sid and he gave her a pleading look. Ally turned away quickly but could feel her face burning.

The waitress returned and took their dinner orders. Nathan and Cole who were sitting either side of Ally were talking about some investment Cole was looking into. Ally was completely lost.
She watched as Caitlin was giving Hannah and Sid a hard time. And Hannah just laughed at Caitlin. Ally watched her with Sid. She touched him every chance she had and listen intently to his every word. Hannah had it bad for Sid and it made Ally smile to see her friends so happy.

When the waitress returned with the appetizers she placed
Ally’s fish cakes in front of her. Ever since she could remember Ally loved fishcakes. But when she looked down at her plate, her stomach heaved when the smell hit the back of her nose.

She could feel the bile rise in her throat. She stood up suddenly.

“I need to use the ladies,” she announced trying hard to breathe through the wave of nausea.

“Are you okay?” Cole asked standing up and looking at Ally with concern.

“I’m fine,” she replied and forcing a smile on her face. “I just need to use the bathroom.”

Cole stepped out of the way and allowed Ally out of the booth they were all sitting in.

Ally quickly made her way to the bathroom. She barely made it to the toilet before she threw up, vomiting again and again.

When she finally finished throwing up she made her way to the sink and turned on the water, she grabbed some paper towels and ran them under the water. She wrung them out before she pressed them against her forehead light
ly, making sure she didn’t do too much damage to her make up.

She
opened her bag and pulled out her compact and touched up her makeup before headed back out to her friends.

When she opened the door she found Sid leaning again the wall outside the ladies room.

“Are you okay?” he asked with concern the minute he saw Ally.

“I’m fine,” she answered a little impatiently. “Sid what are you doing? What if someone see
s you?”

“Ally, you can’t do this,” Sid blurted out.
“You are making a huge mistake. You need to talk to Cole.”

“Sid,” Ally sighed. “This is no longer open for discussion.”

“I saw you Ally,” Sid snapped back. “You couldn’t drink the champagne. Because you knew it was wrong because you are pregnant. See you are already thinking like a mother. This is wrong and you know it. Ally he loves you. Tell him the truth. At least give him the choice.”

“NO!” she shouted. “Sid, just forget I ever told you any of this. This is my business.
So please, just drop it.”

She turned
abruptly and headed back to the private room as quickly as she could, putting some distance between her and Sid.

She was just
rounding the corner and glancing back briefly to see where Sid was, when she walked straight into Cole and was nearly knocked off her feet. Cole reached out and grabbed her to steady her.

“There you are,” he said with a relieved smile. “I was just coming to see were you okay.

“I’m fine,” Ally smiled brightly but her heart was thumping hard in her chest. Another thirty seconds and he would have caught her and Sid arguing.

“Good,” he said as he
kissed her on the lips softly. “Everybody has been wondering where you had gone.” He took her by the hand and led her back to the table.

Ally picked at her dinner
, pushing the food around her plate. Her stomach wasn’t feeling great, but she was also very aware Sid was watching her every move. Every time she looked up his eyes were on her pleading with her.

But S
id wasn’t the only one who was watching her. Cole was very aware she had barely touched her food and that she suddenly seem much quieter than usual.

On more than one occasion he thought he saw Ally and Sid exchange a look that unsettled him.
There was definitely an atmosphere between them and he had no idea why. He looked over at Hannah and she seemed happy enough so he knew what ever was going on between them was something else, entirely.

By the time they were ready to head home for the night Cole was feeling on edge and he
knew he needed answers.

“You were very quiet tonight,” he said nervously as they sat side by side in the back of the Rover on the way home.

“I guess I am still not feeling myself,” Ally replied without looking at Cole.

“Is everything okay with you and Sid?” he asked watching her. His stomach knotted when he saw the expression on her face change to one of panic but she quickly pulled it back.

“Yes,” she replied and smiled at Cole. He knew she was lying. Something was very wrong and he could see it written all over her face.

“Ally,” Cole said reaching for her hand. “Please, don’t shut me o
ut. I know something is wrong. Talk to me.”

Ally stared at Cole for a minute. Could she tell him
the truth about the baby? She wanted to. She wanted to more than anything in this world. She wish she could tell him and he would hold her and promise her that everything would be okay.

But she was scared. She looked at his handsome face and she could barely breathe, she loved him so much.

She just couldn’t risk losing him.

She leaned in kissed him.

“I’m okay,” she reassured him. “It’s just been a hard few days. I am fine. I promise you.”

“Good,” he replied and kissed her. But in his gut he wasn’t convinced. He wanted answers and if Ally wasn’t going to talk to him. Then he would have to get the answers from Sid.