How Many Chances (23 page)

“I am not doing this!” Ally exclaimed suddenly, as she grabbed her bag and made for the door. She couldn’t hear this. She didn’t want to feel guilty about the man who had lied to her all her damn life. But she had grabbed her bag incorrectly and its contents spilled all over the floor and scattered everywhere. “Damn it!”

“He
re, let me help,” Sid said as he and Ally began to pick up the contents of her bag. All Ally could think about was getting out of there in case Gus might turn up.

“Ally what the fuck is this,” Sid said suddenly, Ally glanced up and her heart almost stopped. He was holding up her pregnancy test. “You’re pregnant.”

“Oh God,” Ally said as she could feel the blood drain from her body. This was bad, this was very bad.

“Sid please,” she begged. “You can’t tell anyone.”

“
Why?” Sid asked looking at Ally in confusion, something told him something was very wrong. “Ally, you are going to having a baby, this is a good thing.”

“No, it’s not,”
she snapped, grabbed the test from his hand and shoving it into her handbag. She grabbed her back pack off the floor and headed for the door. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Ally, talk to me,” he demanded, stepping in her way. “Why isn’t it a good thing? What
the hell is going on?”

“It’s none of your business,” she snapped at him as she quickly bli
nked back the tears that was pooling in her eyes.

“Ally, it’s me,
” Sid said softly, taking her by the arms and crouching down and looking into to her face. “You know you can talk to me. What’s wrong?”

“Cole doesn’t want the baby,” she whispered sadly a
s the tears finally broke free and trickled down her face.

“Did he say he didn’t want the baby,” Sid asked calmly.

“He doesn’t want children,” Ally sobbed.

“
He said what, when you told him about the baby?” Sid asked, trying hard to keep his temper in check. Ally had never seen Sid look so angry.

“He doesn’t know about the baby,” Ally
quickly explained in between sobs. “He was so devastated after the whole Ben thing. He told me the other day he didn’t want children. He is constantly going on about how it’s just me and him from now on.”

“Ally, h
e is just angry over what happened,” Sid tried to reassure her. “And that is very normal. But Ally he loves you and I am sure he will love the baby too.”

“And what if he doesn’t?
” Ally asked looking Sid straight in the eye. “Sid I can’t do this alone and I don’t want to lose Cole. What sort of a mother would I be anyways? I don’t even have a job anymore. How can I even support us? I won’t be able to pay my mortgage, how am I going to pay for nappies. This is a disaster.”

“You would be a great Mom,” Sid replied with a smile. “But I
seriously doubt Cole would walk away. You know he will be there for you both.”

“No
you’re right. He would probably stick around and end up resenting me and the baby for the rest of our lives,” Ally said as she sobbed harder. “And that would be worse, the baby would grow up in the same home I grew up in, knowing every day it wasn’t wanted. I have lived that life. I don’t want that for my child. Sid face it. Either way. I have messed up big time. It’s not as if this was planned, for god sakes, I was on the pill.”

“You know maybe you should
just trust him,” Sid said cautiously. “He loves you Ally, he just might surprise you. You didn’t see him when he didn’t know where you were. He was devastated. There is no way he would walk away now.”

“You really think so?”
Ally asked wanting to believe her friend. But in her heart she knew she was in big trouble.

“I really do,” Sid replied. “And if he doesn’t, you always have me Ally. You
and the baby will never be left to do this alone. I will be with you every step of the way. I am a great uncle, just ask my niece and nephews.”

Ally hugged Sid tightly
as she laughed and cried all at once into his chest. She knew he meant every word of what he just said. And she had never loved him more than she did right in that moment.

“Thank you,” she whispered
as she held him tighter. “For everything.”

Ally reluctantly agreed to stay for a c
up of tea and by the times she was ready to leave she felt a little bit happier but was still so confused about the baby. She made Sid promise to keep it a secret until she told Cole and he promised her secret was safe with him.

Sid
had walked her out to her car and was hugging her goodbye when Ally spotted Gus’s car pulling into the cark park of the garage.

He was out of the car in a
flash, the moment he saw Ally and headed straight for her.

“I have to go,” Ally said quickly, pulling open her car
door. She was in no mood for another confrontation with Gus. Her heart was just not able for it.

“Ally, please,” Gus begged. “I just want to talk.”

“You have nothing to say that I want to hear,” she shot back without even looking at him.

“Al, please,” Sid pleaded.
“Hear him out, you need him now as much as he needs you.”

“Don’t.” she said to Sid locking his eyes with her
s. “I can’t deal with this right now.”

“Ally, sweetheart,
please,” Gus begged. But she didn’t even look at him. She climbed into her car and slammed the door shut. Then once she starting the engine, she reversed out of her parking space and drove away. She flashed a look in her review mirror as she pulled out of the car park of the garage and saw Sid comfort a distraught looking Gus.

Ally swallowed the lump of grief in her throat. She was not going to cry again.
She refused to waste anymore tears on someone like him. She really needed to be tougher. No more tears.

When she arrived back at the house. She was surprised to see the Rover
already there, which meant Cole was home.

She pulled in behind Cole
’s other car and switched off the engine. She thought it was strange for him to be home so early but then Cole was never one to stick to any set of rules.

She climbed out of the
car and walked up the steps to the door. She took a deep breath before she slipped the keys into the lock.

She decided she was going to do this, she was going to tell Cole about the baby and pray to God he understood.

When she stepped into the hallway she slipped off her coat. As she sat it on the chair in the hallway, she spotted Cole staring into the blazing fire in the living room, a drink in his hand.

Ally got a sudden sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. She knew something was very wrong and it wasn’t going to be something she would
n’t be able to do anything about.

“Hey,” she said softly as she walked in behind Cole and slipped her arms around him from behind. “You okay?”

“Not really,” he replied, sounding a mixture of both sad and angry at once.

“What’s happened?” Ally asked pressing her lips to his shoulder and hugging him tighter.

“I got a call from Steph,” Cole replied not taking his eyes from the fire. He seem to be a million miles away.

“Oh, what did she have to say? Ally asked suddenly feeling a knot tighten in the pit of her stomach.

“She offer to sell me Ben,” Cole said, the anger very evident in his voice. “She would sign adoption papers for a hundred grand. Like that was all he was worth.”

“Holy fuck!” Ally exclaimed completely shocked and appalled
. She knew Steph had no class but even this shocked Ally. “What did you say?”

“What do you
think I said?” he replied turning to Ally, surprised she had to even ask the question. “I told her to go to hell.”

“What did she say when you told her that,” Ally asked nervously.

“She said if I didn’t want him,” he stopped and took a calming breath. He was struggling hard to keep himself together. “She said that someone else would want him and she would give him to the highest bidder. Like he was nothing.”

“Oh God,” Ally replied completely disgusted by what she had just heard.
Her heart breaking for the little boy.

“This world has turned into a place where anything can be bought for the right price,” he sighed sadly. “And that includes children. This is another reason I don’t ever want
children Ally. Why bring another innocent kid into this fucked up world.

Ally’s heart sank, instinctively she reach
ed for her stomach as her heart broke. She knew right then and there that he would never understand or accept the baby now.

He wrapped his arm around her, completely unaware of the internal struggle
that was going on inside her.

“All I want i
s you and me,” Cole sighed and kissed Ally’s forehead. “As long as I have you, nothing else matters.”

“I need to go change,” Ally
said when she finally pulled back from his embrace and tried her best to sound cheerful and smile. “I want to freshen up before dinner. I might just jump in the shower.”

“Want me to wash your back?” Cole asked with a cheek
y, hopeful grin.

Ally laughed and smacked his arm playfully.

“Behave,” she said taking everything she had inside her to force a smile on her face. “I won’t be long.”

She kissed him softly on the lips before she turned and headed straight towards
the door and up the stairs.

She needed some space. She could barely breathe as she climbed the s
tairs. She prayed to God to help her keep it together until she was on her own.

Cole watched her as she walk towards the stairs. He knew something was wrong but he didn’t know what. She was smiling but her eyes were sad. He wanted to hold her and plead with her to talk to him. But knowing Ally that would just make her shut down even more. He knew she was going to the bedroom for some space.

She looked somehow different to him today. Like suddenly the fight had completely left her and she was struggling just to make it through the day.

He knew she had been at the garage and had no doubt she had some kind of run in with Gus.

But something told him, it was more than that.

He walked to the bottom of the stairs and for a moment thought about climbing them to go after her and try
and get her to talk to him, to open up.

He wonder if they could ever for just one day be happy.
He longed to see her smile and know she hadn’t a care in the world.

He was determined he would do whatever it took to make her smile again and give her the life she deserved.

By the time Ally managed to reach the bathroom in Cole’s bedroom she was struggling to catch her breath. She locked the door and slid to the floor crumpling into a heap, finally letting go and sobbed.

She hated Steph so much.
The evil bitch was the reason her life was freefalling out of control. She was pure poison. Her lies had destroyed Cole. And now they were destroying her.

He was completely devastated over Ben. So much
so, she knew he really wasn’t ready for her to drop her bombshell on him.

She considered for a moment that maybe she should just pack her things and leave. But where would she go, back to her apartment? She had no job and no way of supporting her and the baby. She could always go back to Nan and Pop’s. Then she thought of her mother. She had been her mother’s unwanted child and in the end it
had been Nan and Pops who were left to pick up the pieces.

It was like history repeating itself.
How could she asked them to be the ones to pick up the pieces once again? And at their age.

Then s
he thought of Cole. Her Cole. Could she really walk away from him? She had tried once before and it almost killed her. It was very simple. She loved him and she knew she could not live without him. That part wasn’t an option.

So what choices did she have left? She pressed her hand on her tummy and sobbed harder. She had to choose.

And the choice was a life with Cole or a life of struggling alone with her baby.

But it was her baby.
It was Cole baby. She was its Mom. How could she ever choose? She buried her face in her hands and cried.

Please god, help me
, she sobbed and she drew her knees to her chests and cried harder. She knew in her heart she had only one choice and it was one she just couldn’t bear to think about.

She could hear a soft tap on the door and her heart almost stopped.

“Ally, baby,” Coles voice came through the door. “Please don’t shut me out. I am here, please talk to me.”

Ally stared at the door unable to speak.

“Ally, I know something is very wrong,” he continued pressing his head against the door. “I understand if you don’t want to talk. But please let me come in. Please, I need you and I know you need me. Whatever it is, we can fix it together.”

Ally sobbed harder. She wanted to blurt it out to him
there and then but she couldn’t. She had made up her mind. He was right, they did truly need each other. Right now neither of them were in the right place to bring a baby into this world. So she had only one option left.

She wiped her eyes with her hands as she slowly picked herself up off the floor and unlocked the door.

She opened the door and came face to face with an equally broken looking Cole. She stepped towards him, as he enveloped her in his arms.

“Don’t cry, gorgeous girl,” he breathed against the top of her head. “We will get through this together. We have each other. Nothing else in this world matters except you and I. As long as we have each other,
then we have everything we need.”