How Many Chances
How Many Chances
By
Beverley Hollowe
d
Beverley Hollowed
Copyright © 2013 Beverley Hollowed
First published 2013
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other non-commercial uses permitted by copyright law.
For permission requests, write to the author, addressed “Request: Copyright Approval”
[email protected]
URL:
https://www.facebook.com/Beverelyhollowed2012Author
Edited
and published by: Titan InKorp……
http://titaninkorp.com/
Dedicated to Brian…..
Loveyou always xx
x
I would like to start as always by thanking my best friend, my partner in crime and the love of my life, Brian. Thank you for your patience, your support and your unconditional love. Your belief in me means the world to me and helps me keep going even on days I just felt like I had no more to give. I love you. xx
Thank you to my two beautiful boys Aaron and Anthony. I love you all the way around the world and back. xx
To Sam, thank you for the endless nights of read throughs and for kicking my sorry ass over the finishing line when I needed it the most. I love you my woman. xx
To Beverly, my other mom, thanks for always being there and for never letting me stop believing. And for making me
love autocorrect so much… love you xx
To Sally, thank you for all your help and fed back, and especially for doing a first edit and making sense of my crazy writing. You are truly an angel. xx
To my Angels, new and old. Thank you all for your support, friendship and words of wisdom. You are all shining stars that light up my life…. Keep shining xx
To my Publishers Titan InKorp and especially our fearless leader and my good friend Chris Austin. As always, thank you for continuing to make my journey a happy, easy and enjoyable one. Thank you for all your hard work. Thank you Anthony for my beautiful cover. You guys rock xx
Finally, a big thank you
, to you the readers, for your loyal support and your kind words of encouragement. This journey would mean nothing without you all….. Love always …..Bev xx
Contents
Cole sat gripping a glass of his finest single malt in one hand
, his phone in the other, staring blankly into the open fire. The hollow empty feeling in his chest felt like it was growing bigger and bigger. God he missed her so much. When he closed his eyes he could still remember every tiny detail of her. Her soft beautiful skin, her crystal clear blue eyes, her perfect smile, her glorious scent. He remembered it all and he longed to see her again. To taste her on his mouth, to hold her in his arms, to tell her he was sorry and how much he loved her.
It was six days since he saw her. Six
days since he broke her heart. And six days since his life fell apart.
He thought back to Christmas night. When he arrived at her apartment
. He already knew she was hurt, angry and mad as hell. She refused to take his calls since she told him to go to hell a few hours earlier. But when she opened the door and he saw her puffy pink eyes, filled with so much distain and heartbreak, he could barely breathe.
But she listened to what he had to say.
However her body language made it clear; she did not want him to touch her. He explained everything that had happened and she quietly sat and let him speak, as the tears freely trickled down her face and his heart broke because he had done this to her.
He had done this to her
because he was a coward. It was that simple. He promised her, he would never break her heart and that was exactly what he had just done. Even though he had known in his own heart that was exactly what he was going to do when he made her that promise. God he felt like such a complete bastard.
When he finished talking, he nervously wrapped her in his arms and held her as she sobbed softly against his chest. And for the briefest of moments he believed everything would be ok.
He was so wrong. When she sat up and looked him in the eye and told him to leave. He felt like he had been kicked in the guts.
He begged and pleaded with her
not to do this but she was just too angry to listen. And it killed him that he was the one who did this to her.
His heart almost burst through his chest when she said
looked him in the face as screamed “I hate you”. The three words were like a knife into his soul.
He knew he was losing her, and his world was quickly falling apart
around him. He pleaded with her but she was completely closed off now and he knew he had blown it.
If there was any chance at all for him to make this right. Cole knew he needed to give her
some space and a little time to calm down.
So, w
ith a heavy heart he stood up, wiped his face with the back of his hands and walked towards her, stopping in front of her.
It took him everything he had
to simply kiss her on the cheek and whisper that he loved her and that he would never stop. He stood for a moment and fought hard to stop himself from pulling her into his arms and pleading with her to give him one more chance.
She just needs some time,
he repeated to himself over and over again. But his words were not providing the comfort he had hoped they might be.
I’m so sorry” he breathed against her cheek as he briefly allowed his fore head to rest against hers but that was the only contact he made with her body.
Her smell filled his senses and his swallowed hard the sobbed that was almost choking him, fighting to get free.
Then without saying another word he had to almost force his body to walk to the front door. Pulling it closed behind him
, a shuddering sob escaped from deep inside him. But he pushed himself on towards the lift.
When he finally stepped out into the night air he could barely
catch his breath. He slumped against the front door of her apartment block and slid down to the ground. He buried his face in his hands and let go of all his grief. He had lost her.
*************************************
When he woke the next morning he instinctively reached out in search of Ally but found a cold empty spot instead. His eye snapped open and the memory of the past twenty four hours came crashing back into his mind. And his heart broke.
He had
to watch a woman he had absolutely no feelings for, bring his son into the world and all he could think about when he got to hold him for the first time was,
he should be mine and Ally’s!
How had he managed to fuck his life up so completely?
“YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!!” he shouted at himself as
he flung a pillow from the bed across the room in temper.
Ally filled his
mind. He could think of nothing else but her. Her things were still dotted around his bed room. Her dressing gown was still in the chair where she had left it. Her favourite Converse runners where tucked neatly beneath the chair in the corner of the room. Her night creams and her hair ties were on the bedside table where she left them so she could use them at night before she went to sleep.
Everything was now connected
to her and her essence still filled this house. He had to see her. He had to talk to her and make her see that they belonged together.
He threw the bed covers
off and sprung out of bed. Giving himself just enough time to have a shower, he was dressed and in his car before he had time to think.
When he reached Ally
’s Apartment, he was relieved to see her car was parked outside. He reached the door and took a deep breath before he pressed the buzzer. There was no answer. He pressed again, this time holding it for longer. Still there was no answer. He pulled out his phone and pulled up Ally’s number.
He was about to hit cal
l when the front door of the building opened and a middle aged man stepped out through the door. Cole grabbed the door quickly, before it closed and headed straight for the stairwell and took the steps two at a time. When he reached Ally’s door he stood for a moment and took a deep calming breath before he softly knocked on the door.
He listened for movement inside but there wasn’t a sound. He knocked once more but still there was no reply.
“Ally, please,” he begged pressing his head against the door. “Please open the door and talk to me. I love you.”
He listened for a sound but there was
still none. Panic started to bubble up inside him. Why wasn’t she answering the door? What if Jason had come back? The sudden thought filled him with so much terror and he began banging on the door in panic.
“Ally, open the door,” Cole tried but failed to hide the panic in his voice. “I just wanna see you are ok, Ally please,
just let me see you are okay.”
The door of the apartment
across from Ally’s opened.
“Dude,
its 9 am. It’s Saint Stephen’s Day,” a half asleep and clearly hung over guy said to Cole looking at him like he had two heads. “What’s with all the banging? She isn’t even there.”
“What do you mean ‘she isn’t even here’?” Cole said
turning to the guy and giving him his full attention now. “Where is she?”
“I called over last night to invite her over to the party I was having,” he explain
ed, wiping the sleep out of his eye and sighed. “She was heading out the door with a suitcase. She asked me to give a note to her hot friend Caitlin if she called by.”
“Can I see the note?” Cole asked knowing he had a 50/50 shot the guy might give it to him.
Then added “I am heading over to Caitlin’s now.”
The guy regarded Cole for a moment and sighed. Without a word he turned and disappear
ed back into his apartment. He returned moments later and handed Cole a small white envelope.
Cole turned to walk away, gripping the note tightly in his hand when the guy called after him.
“Hey you’re that guy from the news” he said and Cole stopped but didn’t turn around. “Who would have thought Ally had it in her to be a mistress to a billionaire. I’m impressed.”
Cole turned around slowly and walked back to the guy and stopped in front of him as close as he could without touching him. He stared straight into him eyes.
“I will give you that one, because you helped me out with the letter,” Cole said, his voice cold and threatening. “But if you ever talk about her like that again. I will break both of your fucking legs. Are we clear?”
“Crystal,” the guy swallowed nervously.
Without another word Cole turned and headed for the stairwell. Taking the steps two at a time he couldn’t reach his car fast enough.
When he was finally in behind the
wheel of the car, he lifted the envelope to his nose and inhaled. He could smell her perfume and his stomach knotted. He long to see her, to talk to her so badly it was killing him.
He looked at the enve
lope for a few minutes debating. He knew he should just give it to Caitlin, after all, it had her name on it. But he needed to know what it said. Maybe it would say where she had gone to.
Screw it!
He thought and he peeled the envelope open and slipped the paper out from it. He slowly opened it and, taking a deep breath, began to read.
“
Hi Caitlin,
Don’t freak out, I am ok. I
just need some time to myself. I need to figure this out. I need time to try and piece my heart back together. I will be in touch but I don’t know when. Caits, I love him so much but he broke my heart. Not even my Dad hurt me this much. How will I ever get over this…?
Ally x “
Cole read the note again and again. Finally when he couldn’t bare to read her words any more, he started the engine and before he put it into reverse he called up Nathan’s number on his phone.
“So you are ready to face the w
orld dumbass?” Nathan boomed through the hands free speakers of the car when he picked up the phone. “Christ man, you fucked up this time.”
“Cut the crap Nate,” Cole snapped at his friend. “I am in no mood. I need Caitlin’s number and address.”
“I think that would be bad idea,” Nathan sighed down the phone. “She wants your balls on a platter.”
“I really don’t care what Caitlin thinks,”
Cole snapped. “Ally has gone, she left a note for Caitlin. I need to know where she could’ve gone.”
Reluctantly Nathan gave Cole, Caitlin
’s number and address and fifteen minutes later Cole was at Caitlin’s front door. When she opened it, she was clearly shocked to see Cole standing there.
“Fuck
off asshole” she barked at him before she tried to close the door in his face. Cole quickly caught the door with his hand and stopped her from closing it.
“Caitlin please,” Cole begged. “Believe me there are worse names I have been calling myself. But th
is isn’t about me, it’s about Ally. Caitlin she has gone.”
“What do you mean, she
has gone?” Caitlin asked quickly pulling the door open wider.
“Las
t night I went to her apartment, we talked and then she told me to leave,” Cole explained and the memories of the night before filled his mind and his heart ached with sadness. He paused for a moment to regain control of his composure. “I went around there this morning to try and talk to her, to try and make things right. But she was gone. Her neighbour said she left last night with a suitcase. He gave me this letter she left for you.”
He handed Caitlin the letter, feeling reluctant to let go of the only connection he had to Ally.
“You opened it?” she said as she looked from the letter to Cole in disbelief.
“I’m sorry,” Cole blushed
a little but wasn’t sorry he did. “But I needed to know where she was. I was hoping this would tell me.”
Caitlin quickly read the note then looked up at Cole once again.
“You really are a complete and utter asshole,” Caitlin snapped. “She trusted you and you have destroyed her. She will never get over this.”
Cole hung his head in shame. He knew Caitlin was right. But he just wanted to talk t
o Ally. He needed to try and make her see just how much he loved her.
Caitlin looked at Cole and despite herself, he
r heart broke for him. He was just a shell of the man she had first met. He looked like hell and she knew he was just as devastated as Ally was, where ever the hell she was.
“I guess you should come in,” she said stepping back to let Cole into the house, surprising him by her actions. He stared at her for a moment unsure of what to say. “Well, we need to find our girl. We can’t do it standing on the door step.”
“Thank you,” he whispered before he followed her inside her house.
Caitlin r
ang everyone she could think of. Nan and Pop, Ally’s uncles, Gus, Sid and some other girls they still kept in touch with since school, but no one had heard from her. It was like she had just vanished.
Hannah arrived
at Caitlin’s in a complete state, half an hour after Caitlin rang her. When she saw Cole sitting in Caitlin’s kitchen Hannah tore into him and told him exactly what she thought of him. But then when she saw how broken he was, she surprised him by hugging him.
