How Forever Feels (24 page)

He told her about Keith, how he had every intention of being back at work full time by Monday and how he had a thing for his physical therapist—a woman who apparently looked like an angel but who'd refused to even go out for coffee with Keith so far.

Three hours in, Jack came around the table and stood behind her as she worked on one of the centerpieces. She thought—hoped—he might go in for a feel, but he didn't, instead he set his hands on her shoulders and started to knead them gently, slowly, using his thumbs to ease out the knots that had started in the base of her neck.

He never said a word the whole time, until Maya sighed and leaned back against his chest.

“Better?”

“Much, thank you.”

“Is that one ready for the cooler, too?”

“Mm-hmm. You don't have to stay, Jack. It's going to be a long day tomorrow, and there's nothing you can really do here, so why don't you go home and get some rest? I'm going to be another couple hours here.”

“Nope.” Shaking his head, he resumed his position on the stool across from her. “You stay, I stay.”

And he did, right up until she'd stuck a straight pin through the last boutonniere.

“Thank God,” she groaned. “What time is it?”

“Two-thirty.”

It didn't matter how many times she blinked, she was too tired to see straight, never mind move, so with the shop locked up, Jack piggybacked her to the apartment and carried her upstairs.

“Jack,” she murmured. “Where's Pete?”

“He's having a sleepover with his buddy, Duke; he's fine.”

“Mmm. Okay.”

“Hey, Snip.”

“Hmm?” She'd let Jack undress her, then stretched out on top of him when he finally got into bed, too.

He wrapped his arms around her and tugged her up tighter. “What would you say if I told you I loved you?”

“Mmm.” Smiling, she breathed a kiss against his neck and sighed. “I'd say thank you, I love you too, and if I weren't so freakin' tired, you'd be getting so lucky right now.”

“I'm already lucky,” he murmured. “Go to sleep.”

“Okay, but tomorrow…” She could barely form the words she was so tired. “Tomorrow you get lucky.”

But by the time she woke up the next morning there was no time for any kind of luckiness.

“I never sleep past seven!” she cried, racing for the shower. “Go—you need to get to Will's, and I need to get to the store. Tell Skank I'll have the flowers there by ten.”

Sitting on the edge of the bed and muttering under his breath, Jack fumbled into his clothes, but grabbed hold of Maya as she made a run for the bathroom and pulled her back so she stood between his knees.

“Not so fast.” God, his kiss almost melted her right there on the bedroom floor. “What I said last night—I meant it.”

“Not sure what you mean,” she said, batting her eyelashes. “I was pretty groggy.”

“Groggy my ass.” Even through his big grin, his eyes still warmed her. “I love you, Snip.”

“Oh that.” She slid her fingers through his mussed-up hair and leaned in so her lips brushed his when she spoke. “I love you too. Now go do your thing before we're both late.”

“Okay.” He nodded. “But tonight…”

“Definitely tonight.”

She made it to the store—late—but instead of opening, she put a sign in the window saying she'd be opening a little late and then ran around cleaning up the mess from the night before. Then she took the flowers out to her car.

She was about to deliver flowers to Dickhead's wedding—so
not
what she ever thought she'd be doing, but the flowers did look damn good even if she did say so herself. With everything set tight, she took a deep breath and drove to the hotel they'd booked for the reception.

Will's sister, Tammy, and a guy with a nose ring were already there setting up.

“Oh my God—Maya!”

“Hey Tam, how are you?” Maya set the flat box of boutonnieres and corsages on the nearest table and smiled as Tammy stepped awkwardly toward her. “Oh come on, can I at least have a hug?”

And just like that, Tammy hugged her so tight it was hard to breathe.

“I miss you,” Tam whispered. “So much.”

“Yeah, me too.”

The guy with the nose ring cleared his throat, making Tammy pull back. “Sorry, Maya, this is my boyfriend, Cliff. Cliff, this is Maya, Will's—”

She froze, her eyes wide.

“Maya McKay.” Maya smiled as she shook Cliff's hand. “Will's ex-wife.”

“Oh! Nice to meet you.”

“You too.” She turned to Tammy and exhaled. “I'm not really keen on running into anyone else, so can you guys help me bring in the rest?”

“Sure.”

It took them a couple trips, but it was much quicker with them helping, and as soon as everything was set on the nearest table, Maya turned to Tammy.

“Will you please let her know it's all here?”

“Yeah, no problem. It's so good to see you.”

“You too.” Another hug, then Maya stepped back. “I should go. It was nice to meet—”

“Maya.” Genie's voice froze everything around Maya until she couldn't breathe.

Now was not the time or place to tell Genie what she thought of her, or of what she did to Jack. No, now was the time for Maya to smile politely and leave, which is exactly what she started to do.

“Tammy,” Genie said. “I need a minute with Maya please.”

“Oh no,” Maya said. “I'm leaving.”

But Tammy and Cliff had all but run from the room, leaving Maya alone with her.

“Jack told you, didn't he?” Genie's mouth pinched a little as Maya nodded. “He did. You have to understand how desperate I was;
you
were what Will needed, and I knew if you found out you'd call the wedding off.”

An icy chill pooled deep in Maya's belly. “If I found out what?”

“About the woman at the bachelor party.” Genie's hands twisted at her waist. “I was so scared Jack was going to tell you, and the only way I knew to stop him was to use his own weakness against him. God, Burt would've killed me if he knew. Jack didn't deserve that—and neither did you.”

Maya's heart was crashing so hard in her chest, she had to grip one of the chairs for support. No. She must've misunderstood. Deep breath. Good.

“What woman at the bachelor party?”

“You know…” Genie said, waving the tissue clutched in her hand. “That woman. The stripper. The one Will…”

“The one Will what?” Maya didn't know how she kept her voice so steady when the rest of her body was in a full-on quake.

“Oh no,” Genie's hand flew to her mouth as she backed up a step. “You said Jack told you!”

“Genie,” Maya said. “You've got about two seconds to tell me what the hell you're talking about before I bring this whole wedding crashing down around you.”

“I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I thought you knew. You said you knew.”

Teeth clenched, Maya somehow managed to grind out the woman's name. “Genie.”

“He…at the bachelor party…the woman, she was a stripper and then after…after…” Hiccupping over a sob, she kept shaking her head. “She and Will…they…”

So Will had sex with a stripper a week before he married Maya. Nice. Very classy. Very Will. She was neither shocked nor angry. Not at him, anyway.

“Jack knew?”

Very slowly, as if it hurt to do so, Genie nodded. “That's why…at the rehearsal…I couldn't let him tell you. I just—”

Maya didn't hear another word, because she was already stumbling back to her car. Jack had known all along and hadn't said anything. He'd let her marry Will knowing what he'd done, surely knowing she was setting herself up for failure.

Jack.

Jack who just last night told her he loved her. Jack, who'd had her back through the divorce, even though he never said a word to her. Jack, who'd always been so loyal.

Loyal to the Carsons.

She had no idea how she managed to drive back to the store without crashing, but she did, and then sat staring out the windshield for a long time. Numb, that's what she was.

She'd done it again. She'd gone and trusted the wrong person.

“Oh…my…God.”

Janice,
Friends,
“The One with the Candy Hearts”

All through the wedding ceremony, Jack twitched. Genie had been nervous and edgy around him, and it hadn't gone unnoticed by Will.

“What the hell's going on?” he hissed while they stood watching Stella and her girlfriend sign the register.

“Not now,” Jack said.

With his mega-watt smile firmly in place, Will tipped his head toward Jack and spoke through gritted teeth. “Something's going on and you're going to tell me.”

“I will. Later.”

The day dragged on through photos, more photos, a sit-down lunch, the toasts, and finally the cake-cutting. The only good thing about the whole day was the flowers; it seemed like everyone commented on how perfect they were, and every single time, Jack made sure to tell them Maya down at The Stalk Market had done them.

The food was good, Will and Stella looked perfectly happy, and even Genie seemed relaxed when she wasn't looking at Jack. Seemed a shame to cause a blip in the happiness, but Jack had waited long enough, and apparently so had Will, because the second the cake had been cut, he headed straight for Jack.

“Talk.”

“You want to sit down first?”

“Do I need to?”

“I'd like it if you did,” Jack said. “It'll make it harder for you to punch me that way.”

“Fuck.” In a huff, Will pulled out his chair at the head table and motioned for Jack to do the same so they sat facing each other.

“I'm not going to get into everything right here,” he said. “But there's one thing you need to know and, uh, yeah, there's no good way to tell you.”

“So just say it.”

Okay.
He downed the rest of his beer, swallowed hard and nodded.

“I'm in love with Maya.”

For a long time Will didn't blink, but his chest heaved with every breath and his color went from its usual tan to pale, red, then back to pale.

“My Maya?” he choked. “You're in love with my Maya?”

“Technically she's not…” Jack started, then nodded. “Yeah.”

“Jesus Christ, Jack.” Will pressed his hands over his knees and leaned forward a little. “Since when?”

Jack sat back in his chair and heaved out a breath. “Since forever. And your mom's known all along.”

“You told my mom?”

“No, she just knew.”

“Maya.” He must have muttered her name three or four times before finally shaking his head. “She was my wife, Jack. D'you want to know how many times I fucked her?”

“No.” Every cell in Jack's body hardened. He knew it would come to that with Will, just like it had in his yard that first night. “And trust me, you don't want to go there with me right now.”

“What do you want me to say? That I'm happy for you? That I think it's great you have a hard-on for my wife?”

“Your
wife,
” Jack seethed, tipping his head to the far side of the room, where Stella stood talking to a group of guests. “Is the last person I'd ever have a hard-on for.”

“You know what I meant.”

“Yeah, but Stella might be a little confused if she hears you talking like that. Look, I wanted to tell you before, but your mom begged me to wait until after the ceremony.” It was the craziest thing, how much lighter Jack felt. “We've been friends a long time, Will, and if you can't deal with this, I get it. I'm…
fuck man,
I'm sorry, but I love her and I'm going to do whatever it takes to keep her.”

He waited for Will to do something, yell maybe, or at least take a swing at him, but he did neither. Instead, he hung his head for a few seconds, sighed, then looked over at Stella who smiled back at him.

“This is fucked up, Jack.”

“Maybe.”

“What ever happened to bros before hos?”

“You're like the only guy this decade who still says that.” Jack snorted, shook his head slowly. “If you had to choose between me and Stella right here, right now, who'd win?”

“Well, come on, that's not fair. I mean, I love you, man, but it's my wedding day and if you knew what Stella has on under that dress…hooooooooo.”

Watching Will's eyes roll back like that, Jack had to laugh.

“I rest my case.”

When Will finally came back to his senses, he was actually smiling, not anything huge, but it was a start.

“You've been my best man twice, Jack.”

“Yeah,” Jack snorted. “And I'm really hoping you don't make me do it a third time.”

“Fuck you.” Will's shoulders relaxed a little as he sat back and lifted his beer. “You've had my back through a lot of shit, even when you wanted to beat the crap out of me for being such a dick.”

“That's true.” He waited for Will to say something else, but it took a while, and when he did, he was smiling at Stella when he said it.

“Look at her. Isn't she something?” He lifted his bottle in salute to his beaming bride, then slowly turned back to Jack. “Did you know she almost called this off a few weeks ago?”

“What?!”

“Yeah, she kind of freaked out there for a bit; and I can't really blame her considering how she and I got together.”

“She thought you were cheating on her?”

“Yeah. Thought me and Delilah had hooked up.”

“Did you?” He expected Will to tell him to fuck off; it was his standard answer; but instead, Will's smile widened, and he shook his head.

“Who needs someone like Delilah when I've got Stella?”

“Holy shit.” Jack stared open-mouthed at Will as the reality suddenly struck him. “You really do love her, don't you?”

“Fuck you—of course I do!”

“Sorry.” Jack laughed. “It's just…hang on, you said that was a few weeks ago?”

“Yeah, why?”

“She, uh, she showed up at my hotel room a few weeks ago wanting to talk about something.”

“Yeah, she told me she'd gone over there but you weren't around.” Will studied him for a second. “You
were
there, weren't you?”

Jack nodded. “So was Maya.”

“Oh shit. What happened?”

Might as well ‘fess it all.
“I was a total dick, and Stella left without actually saying anything.”

“You were a dick to Stella?” Smile gone, Will's whole face was like granite. “What the fuck's your problem?”

“Whoa!” Jack cried. “I'm sorry, I didn't—”

“Uh, boys.” Stella made her way around the table and pulled up a chair between them, smiling all the while. “My grandmother is sitting right over there and I'd really like it if the memory she takes back to the retirement home with her isn't one that includes my new husband and his best man cursing like sailors for the whole room to hear. So if the two of you would shut the fuck up and smile, that'd be awesome.”

To anyone not standing right beside them, it must have looked like she was sharing a hilarious joke with them, because her smile never faltered and when she was done reaming them out, she threw back her head and laughed, then kicked both their ankles until they joined in.

“Good,” she said. “Now ask me to dance, Jack, and show my darling husband that there's no hard feelings between us.”

Jack shot to his feet, held out his hand and smiled. “May I have this dance?”

Still smiling, she took his hand and let him lead her out on the floor, where he found himself smiling, too. Not forced, either.

“You know what I just realized?” he asked.

“What's that?”

“You and Will—you really are a good thing. I've never seen him look at anyone the way he looks at you.”

Stella's hand squeezed his a little tighter. “Yeah. It's sort of the same way you look at Maya.”

Jack didn't even try to deny it; he just grinned, big and goofy.

“She did an amazing job with the flowers,” Stella said. “I don't know what I was thinking with the ones I originally ordered. Honestly, I'm kind of glad the road washed out now.”

“Yeah, she's kind of amazing.”

“Mm-hmm.” The waltzed around a while longer before Stella looked up at him. “What are you doing, Jack?”

“I'm dancing.”

“Oh is that what you call it?” she smirked. “That's not what I meant, but just a heads-up, you might want to take a few lessons yourself. I meant what are you doing here?”

“What do you mean? I'm the best man, I'm supposed to be here.”

“You're right, you are Will's best man, and you've done your due diligence, but there's nothing left to do now except dance and eat with people you don't know.” She released his hand long enough to smooth her finger over the edge of his boutonniere. “Wouldn't you rather be with her?”

“Yeah, but—”

“Go, Jack.” Releasing his other hand, Stella stepped out of his arms. “Consider it part of my payment to her for the gorgeous job she did for us.”

When he hesitated again, she smiled; warm and kind—more than what he deserved from her.

“Stella,” he said slowly. “I think I love you.”

Wrapping his hands around her shoulders, he planted a big old kiss right on her mouth while everyone cheered except Will who bellowed from the other side of the room.

“Hey! That's my wife!”

“Excellent choice,” Jack hollered back. He kissed her again, this time on the cheek, then bolted for the door.

Maya didn't open her store but instead changed the sign in the window and went straight home. If she was going to throw up—and she really thought she might—she couldn't do it at the store. She could have called Alec, but it was too much effort to even pick up the phone.

No one was going to die if The Stalk Market wasn't open.

Fully dressed, she collapsed on the bed, then leapt off it as though she'd been shocked.

How many times had the two of them slept there, together? More to the point, how many times had they not slept because they were too busy finding ways to drive each other mad, making each time something new?

God she was stupid.

Grabbing an extra blanket out of the closet, she wrapped herself up in a cocoon on the couch and spent most of the day lying there staring at the TV, which wasn't even turned on.

Ellie called to find out why she wasn't open, and Maya told her the truth: She felt sick.

Jayne came upstairs to see if there was anything Maya needed, but there wasn't. Not unless Jayne had a Time-Turner in her pocket, then yeah, Maya needed to go back about six—no seven—weeks.

How could she tell them? They all thought Jack was so great, everyone loved him, even Maya.

Which was why it was so hard to ignore the doorbell when it rang late in the afternoon. After everything he'd told her, things he'd never told anyone else, why hadn't he told her that—the one thing that would have saved her so much grief?

The bell rang a second time, then nothing. Good. She needed time to work this out before she saw him, and she wasn't nearly there yet.

Maya didn't think anything of it when the door leading from Jayne's store opened. Knowing Jayne, she was just coming up to check on Maya before she went home.

“Snip? Are you okay?”

No. No, no, no.
Damn it, Jayne, why did you let him up?

“Get out of my apartment.” She didn't sit up; she didn't look at him; she didn't even raise her voice.

“What?” In three steps he was right next to her, crouched down in his new tux with that stupid pink bow hanging undone around his neck. “What's the matter?”

“Get. Out.”

“Why? What's wrong?” His finger barely grazed her forehead, and she was up and off the couch like a shot. “Snip?”

“Don't ‘Snip' me, you son of a bitch. You knew. This whole time you knew and you didn't say a word.”

“What?”

“Oh no, you don't get to act innocent on this, Jack. This is all on you. You were the best man, remember?”

“What? I mean, yeah, but—”

“The best man organizes the bachelor party, everyone knows that. So many more options when you hold it in the city, isn't that what you told me? And by options you meant strippers? Hookers? Or any other female who'd open her goddamn legs for you?”

“Maya, what are you talking about? Is this about Delilah? I told you she showed up the other night, but nothing—”

“I don't give a flying shit about Delilah!” Shaking hard, Maya had to grip the blanket tighter around herself to try and contain her rage.

“Maya?” Jayne's tentative voice sounded on the stairs. “Are you okay?”

“I'm fine!” she bellowed. “Jack's leaving.”

“No I'm not.”

“Yes you are.”

“Jack.” Jayne came through the door at the top of the stairs and stood between him and Maya. “Maybe it's best.”

“No, not until she tells me what the hell I'm being blamed for.”

“The bachelor party, Jack. The
first
one!” That changed his tune a little. It sure as hell changed his expression. “Want to talk about that? Okay, let's talk.”

“Shit, Maya.” He sank down the couch and dropped his head into his hands.

“You organized it, Jack. You're the one who rounded up all the guys—oooh, look at all of you being so cool—and it was you who hired the stripper. Tell me I'm wrong. Tell me!”

“Jack,” Jayne said, her voice quiet. “Say something.”

It seemed to take a whole lot of effort before he finally nodded. “You're not wrong.”

“And she did her job with gusto, didn't she? Did she do all of you or just Will that night?”

“What?” Jayne cried.

“Well, did she?” Maya bellowed. “Did she do all of you? One at a time or was it a gang thing?”

“No.”