Hopeless (12 page)

She smiled as she slid up on the tall stool
and peeled back the plastic lid on her cup. “I’m not gonna lie, just the smell
of caffeine is making my mouth water.”

“Late night, huh?” He was going for
nonchalance, but he knew he fell way short.

“Yeah, we closed Jimmy’s down. Poor J.T.
had to practically throw us out.”

He took a sip of his coffee and tried not
to let his disappointment show. He was hoping she would tell him they’d had
nothing in common and called it a night early. “Really?”

“Yeah.” She smiled over the rim of her cup.
“Your brother’s a great guy.”

Dozens of women had said the same thing to
him over the years, but never before had it made him feel nauseous. “Yeah, I
guess he is…when he’s not bein’ a pain in the ass.”

She chuckled. “You’re just saying that
‘cause he’s your brother. Don’t all siblings feel the same way?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. I just know
it’s true.” In reality, Mike was one of his closest friends, and she was right,
he was a great guy, but in that moment, Jay hated his guts. “So, you plan on
seein’ him again?”

She nodded. “He invited me to the birthday
party at your dad’s house tomorrow night.”

Jay closed his eyes briefly as he processed
her words. Mike didn’t bring girls home to meet their family unless it was serious,
which was rare. “He invited you to meet the family after one lousy date?”

She tipped the cup to her lips and took a
sip before she said, “It was a pretty incredible first date. I haven’t felt so comfortable
with someone in a long time.”

He tried to ignore the sharp stab of pain.
Jay knew she wasn’t trying to hurt him. She was just being honest, letting him
know their attraction paled in comparison to what she felt for his brother. Now
he just had to figure out how the hell he was going to start treating her like
Mike’s new girlfriend when everything in him was dying to pull her into his
arms for the kiss he’d been robbed of yesterday. “Good to know.” He pointed to
the boxes stacked in the corner. “I’ve got some things to take care of in the
office. Would you mind unpacking those brochures and business cards?” He
pointed to the Plexiglas wall racks he’d installed that morning. “You can just
put them in there.”

She jumped off her stool and set her coffee
down on the glass counter. “Not a problem.”

He wanted to say more. He wanted to ask her
if she had the choice, would she choose him. But he was too afraid of what that
answer might be, so he decided to lock himself in his office and pretend his
biggest concern was the grand opening of his new studio.

Victoria released a sigh when she heard
Jay’s door close with a soft click. She hadn’t lied to him. Her connection with
Mike was easy and natural, but she knew he assumed it was a romantic
connection, which couldn’t be further from the truth.

She hated seeing the disappointment on his
face when she tried so hard to let him down gently. She would give anything if
things could be different, but…

Her cell phone rang and she pulled it out
of the back pocket of her denim shorts. Oh God. It was her doctor’s office.
She’d had the routine tests he’d ordered weeks ago in anticipation of this
appointment. What if they’d found something?

“Hello.”

“Victoria, this is Dr. Dalton’s office.”

She couldn’t utter a word as she waited for
the receptionist to deliver her fate. From her experience, if the doctor wanted
to see her right away, it meant bad news… very, very bad news.

“Would it be possible for you to come in
this afternoon?”

She was gripping the edge of the counter,
trying to keep her knees from buckling when she felt Jay’s presence behind her.
“Um… I could come on my break.” It’s not like she’d be able to eat anything
anyways. As it was, her breakfast was sitting in her stomach like a lead
weight.

“Does 3:00 work for you?”

“Yes, that would be fine. Thank you.”

She pressed the button and stared at the
blank screen, trying to make sense of what just happened. Had she brought this
on herself? She’d watched a TV program about the Law of Attraction just last
week. Had her dark thoughts caused the disease to take over her body again? Had
the hours she’d spent fearing a tumor growing inside of her actually resulted
in her worst fear coming true?

“Are you okay?” Jay asked, moving in behind
her. When she didn’t respond right away, he repeated, “Victoria, is everything
all right?”

She couldn’t tell him the truth. He had
enough to worry about with his grand opening. She didn’t want to burden him
with her problems, too. She turned around to face him, plastering a smile on
her face. “Everything’s fine. I have an appointment later. I hope that’s okay?”

His light eyes darkened in an instant. “I
hope it’s nothing like the
appointment
you had yesterday?”

“No, not at all.” What happened yesterday
paled in comparison to this. “It’s just a doctor’s appointment.”

He raised an eyebrow. “You feelin’ okay?”

“Yeah, fine.” She tried to walk past him,
but he grabbed her wrist.

“You’re lying to me. Tell me what’s really
goin’ on with you.”

“It’s just a routine check-up.” Except
there was nothing routine about this, and she sensed he knew it.

“Why don’t I believe you?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“You need a lift there? You shouldn’t be
drivin’.”

She frowned. “Why would you say that?”

He looked at the hand he was now holding.
“You’re ice cold and your hands are shaking.”

Damn. She thought she was doing such a good
job of holding it together, but this man had an uncanny ability of knowing when
something was troubling her. She tried to pull free, but he wouldn’t let her.
“Just let me check the thermostat.”

“The problem isn’t with the thermostat.
It’s with you. Are you gonna tell me what the hell’s goin’ on?”

She wanted to scream and cry, kick or throw
something, but more than anything, she wanted to fall into his arms and have
him tell her everything was going to be all right. She wanted him to promise
her she wasn’t going to die, at least not yet, but she knew he couldn’t make
that promise. No one could. Her life was up for grabs, and in a few short hours,
she’d find out her fate. And when she did, she’d deal with it, just like she
had the last time. Stage three ovarian cancer should have been a death
sentence, but it wasn’t. She’d survived. And she would again. She hoped.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

He sighed as she released her hand. “Fine,
but I’m not lettin’ you drive in this condition. I’ll take you.”

“No!” She pointed to the medical building
on the corner. It was less than a five minute walk from the studio. “Dr.
Dalton’s office is right there. I can walk.”

“Maybe you just need someone to hold your
hand,” he said softly. “At least let me do that.”

No one had ever offered to accompany her to
a doctor’s appointment before. Some patients had relatives or friends with them
during their chemo treatments, to talk or pass the time, but she’d always gone
alone. The nurses often took pity on her, she assumed because they always saw
her alone, so they would come in to chat with her on their breaks. But she
would shut them down, offering only one word responses when they tried to
engage her in conversation. She didn’t want them to waste their breaks on her.
She could survive on her own. She’d been doing it all her life.

She closed her eyes and a single tear slid
down her cheek. “No, thank you. I’ll be fine.”

It hit Jay like an avalanche. He was
falling in love with this woman. He knew it was crazy. His mind rallied to
present him with all the reasons it was impossible: he hadn’t known her long
enough, they hadn’t even kissed, she was seeing his brother, and she was his
employee. But none of that seemed to matter now. The only thing he cared about
was making sure she was okay. He’d never had such a strong impulse to take care
of another person in his life.

“You don’t have to pretend with me,
sweetheart.” He framed her face with his hands and he felt her body sway in his
direction. “Come here.” He pulled her into his arms, supporting her weight as
she leaned into him. Her body felt limp, lifeless, and that scared the hell out
of him. That phone call had obviously shaken her to the core.

“I’m tired,” she whispered, laying her head
on his chest. “I don’t know why I’m so tired all of a sudden.”

He felt it, almost as though the energy was
draining from her body and she was relying on him to keep her upright. “Do you
need to sit down?”

She shook her head. “Can you just hold me
for a minute?”

He’d be content to hold her forever. “Sure,
whatever you need.” She needed him. There was no doubt in his mind. His
self-centered, egotistical brother couldn’t begin to meet her needs the way he
could.

“This is nice,” she said, sighing. “It’s
been a long time since I’ve had someone to lean on like this.”

He questioned whether she’d ever let
herself lean on someone like this. It made him happy to think he’d earned a
place in the select group of people she counted on. “I’m here, as long as you need
me.”

She wrapped her arms around his waist and
held him tight. “You’re such a good man, Jay.”

Victoria made him want to be a better man.
No one had ever made him feel that way before.

She tipped her head back to look at him.
“Mike told me about Lily, the woman you were with at Jimmy’s.”

Jay frowned. His ex-girlfriend was the last
thing on his mind. Why would she bring her up now, when they were finally getting
closer?

“She’s very beautiful, and it’s obvious she
still has feelings for you.” Her full mouth tipped up at the corners. “She was
shooting daggers at me.”

He didn’t want to talk about Lily right
now. Hell, he didn’t even want to think about her ever again. The only thing
that mattered to him right now was Victoria and finding out why she was using
his ex-girlfriend and brother to try and create a barrier between them. “I
don’t care about her. I care about you.”

She shook her head, trying to deny his
claim. “You can’t. You don’t even know me.”

He stepped back, holding her hands in his.
“Don’t I?”

They’d spent a lot of time talking
yesterday, and he got the sense she’d opened up to him more than she had any
other man in her life. “You told me about your childhood, how hard you fought
to get an education, how you got interested in martial arts, your work at the
shelter…” He smiled when he knew he had her. “What else? Oh yeah, you told me
you’d love to open your own studio someday. Your favorite foods are pasta and
cheesecake, but you rarely overindulge. You’d love to have a dog, but you’re
allergic. You can’t swim because a near miss when you were a kid made you
terrified of the water…”

Victoria’s mouth fell open. “I can’t
believe you remembered. What’s more, I can’t believe I told you all that. My
best friend doesn’t even know I can’t swim.”

He smiled. “Don’t tell me I don’t know you.
I think I do.” He’d gladly shared as much with her. He wanted to know
everything about her, and he wanted her to be confident she knew enough about
him to reciprocate his feelings.  

“Maybe you’re right,” she said, quietly.
She looked up at him, her eyes filled with unshed tears. “But we all have our
secrets, Jay.”

Victoria was reading the same paragraph in
her magazine for the fourth time when the door opened and Jay walked into the
waiting room.

Several of the women seated around the
L-shaped room looked up when he walked in. One young woman even gaped at him
from behind her magazine until he claimed the seat beside Victoria and took her
hand.

“What are you doing here?” she whispered,
trying desperately to blink back the tears threatening to spill down her
cheeks. What was wrong with her lately? Ever since she’d met him, it was as
though the floodgates had opened and she couldn’t keep her emotions in check.

“I knew you needed me.”

She couldn’t deny he was right. “You
shouldn’t be here.”

“Yes, I should.”

She didn’t want to argue with him, not
here. “Thanks.” She knew she should let go of his hand, but she couldn’t bring
herself to break the connection. 

“My pleasure.”

“It shouldn’t be much longer.” She didn’t
even want to think about how true that might be. “I think I’m next.”

“It doesn’t matter how long it takes.”

She loved him for offering to stay, but she
knew how busy he was. The phone had been ringing off the hook all day with
people wanting a piece of him, and he was putting everything on hold to be here
for her. How could a man who didn’t even know her know how much she needed his
support?