Hope for Him (Hope Series Book #2) (9 page)

"I thought that's what you came back for?"

I tilted my head. I couldn't tell her the truth. I would sound pathetic.

"I..." I didn't know what to say. I sat down on the couch, and my hand rubbed the spot where Jackson sat earlier. I shook my head and stood up and stomped to the kitchen.

"What are you so weirded out about?"

"Do you know Jackson Mitchell?" I yelled back to her.

"You mean, national championship winning, six-foot-four, two hundred pound, so gorgeous it hurts to look at him, starting quarterback for the Florida State Seminoles, Jackson Mitchell?"

"Yeah. That's the one."

"We've met." Her eyes widened, and she waited for the punch line.

"I'm in love with him."

Kayla stood up so fast I took a step back. We heard a thud and a whimper. We both turned back to Jack, who rubbed his head, but as soon as he saw us looking, he let out a scream.

"Oh, baby boy." I ran back over and scooped him up and rubbed his little head where a bump had formed.

"Oh my God, is he okay?" Kayla stood up and tears sprang to her eyes.

"He's fine." Jack was an adventurous little kid. He had bumps and bruises all over. I was used to him hurting himself.

The look on her face made me laugh. She was mortified. She reached out and touched Jack, but he pushed her hand away.

"Don't get upset. Jack's a boy. He bumps into things all the time."

"Oh, now he hates me. I'm sorry," she said and tried to rub his back. He let her this time. "I'm so sorry. I didn't expect you to say that."

"I don't think I've ever said it out loud."

"I didn't think you two had anything going on. I mean, I know you named Jack after him, but I thought you were friends."

Funny, the word friend didn't ever adequately describe our relationship.

"We are, mostly."

"What do you mean mostly?"

Jack pushed to get down. He wandered toward the kitchen, and I followed to get his juice. He took his sippy cup and went over to his play area where it was safe.

Kayla sat on the couch with her legs crossed under her and waited.

"In May, when he was in Dallas for Jack's birthday, we hooked up."

"What?"

"And it was amazing."

"Well, of course, it was." She collapsed on her back and fanned herself.

"Kayla."

"I'm sorry. I was picturing it."

"Kayla."
Gross.

"No, not you and him." A smile spread across her face. "Just him."

I couldn't blame her. Jackson was gorgeous. It was the whole all-American, athletic, nice guy thing he had going on. It was what drew me to him in the first place.

I slumped on the other end of the couch and covered my hands with my face.

"Okay. I'm sorry. I’m being highly insensitive. So, what happened after?"

"Well, he went back to school and finished his exams." I leaned back. "After we slept together, I decided I wanted to give us a chance. That's why I came back to FSU."

"What did you say when you told him you were coming back."

"Well, I kind of didn't tell him."

"What? Why?"

"I don't know. I thought I'd wait until I actually got here. In case I changed my mind or chickened out or something."

"Okay, well that makes sense, but you're here now and you guys can give it a shot."

"Well, not exactly."

"Seriously, can you tell me the punch line already." She was feisty for a little thing. I liked teasing her, plus it made it easier to talk about it.

"He met someone over the summer."

"Oh, no."

"Yes, Mr. So gorgeous it hurts to look at has a girlfriend who is pretty gorgeous herself." I lowered my head. "She is the exact opposite of me."

Kayla stood up and walked over to check on Jack and then she sat back down next to me. I smiled, loving that she cared so well for Jack.

"What do you mean, the exact opposite?"

"Oh, you know, blond hair, blue eyes, six-foot-something from Tennessee. They look like the couple on the top of a freakin’ wedding cake. Perfect together."

"Carrington."

"I'm serious, you should have seen them together. The way he smiled at her."

"He did this in front of you?"

"No, I saw them inside of the Student Union. He likes her."

"So what?"

"Excuse me?"

"I'm serious. Who cares if he has a girlfriend, and if he likes her? Jackson is your man."

"Kayla—"

"After all that you two have been through, no blond-haired chippy is going to take your man." She bounced up and down on the couch. "Okay, this is going to be fun. We're going to get rid of this blond person." 

"Get rid of her, how?"

"Well, ruin her reputation."

"Oh yeah, because guys hate girls with bad reputations."

"We'll say she's a lesbian."

"Again, not a deterrent for a college guy."

"Okay, I got it. We'll be her best friend and force her to eat until she gets fat. Come on, what do you have to lose? "

I stared at Kayla and she stared back. She was proud of her idea.

I stood up and headed in the kitchen to fix something to eat. Kayla was great, but she was so young. She had no clue.

I have everything to lose
.

#

J
ackson Latre Mitchell

Richard tried to apologize, but I stopped him. We were standing halfway between the Student Union and the parking garage. It was late and not many students were on campus. I was exhausted, and it was only the first day.

"Don't worry about it. I don't care."

"What's with you, man? You've been off all afternoon."

"I don't know how to explain it."

Richard and Jeff waited, but I wasn't sure what to tell them. Jeff didn't know Carrington, but I knew Richard did. He was there when I was all lovesick and miserable.

Richard knew the truth. He tried to convince me to go after her in the beginning and told me I was a punk for letting Josh have her. He didn't understand my relationship with Josh.

The locker room got all over me that year because of my unannounced vow of celibacy. Well, not quite celibacy, but I avoided relationships because I didn't think it was fair to start something with someone when I had feelings for another girl.  My feelings for Carrington were solid.

When we won the national championship, Coach joked that if it worked for me, the rest of the team should try it. The team didn't accept that idea too well.

I didn't mean for it to happen. I didn't mean to fall for my best friend’s girl. I knew what the outcome would be before anyone else.

Of course, I never imagined it would go down the way it did. I saw the signs and the people I loved got hurt. That was why it took me over a year to think about dating someone.

"You remember Carrington?" I asked Richard.

"Yeah, wait. No." He stepped back and shook his head.

"Who's Carrington?"

"You are not still pining away for that girl?"

"Who's Carrington?" Jeff asked, again.

"You heard about Josh Griffin the fourth."

"Your best friend who killed himself in front of Griffin Library." The story had reached myth status, but in this case, it was true.

"Carrington was his girlfriend."

"So, what's the big deal?" Jeff asked.

"The big deal is our friend Jackson, here, has been in love with her for like two years," Richard said.

"No, the big deal is she's back on campus."

I drove them to the athletic dorm. No one spoke until we arrived.

"Your still into her?" Jeff asked first.

"I don't know. I haven't seen her all summer, and I'm with Tiffany."

"That's right. You're with Tiffany, and she's awesome. She's perfect for you," Richard said.

"Why?" I turned to him. "Why is she perfect for me?"

"She looks like an NFL quarterback's wife. She's hot."

"Dude, she is hot," Jeff said.

"I'm supposed to be with her because she looks like a player's wife? Out of curiosity, what does Carrington look like?"

"Listen, man. You don't need that baggage. Look, I'm only saying this because I'm your friend, but you just got your swagger back, man. Why would you want to go back there?"

"What does Carrington look like?" Jeff asked.

Richard ignored him.

"And don't tell me it’s no big deal. You were totally out of it in practice today because of this girl. She's in your head already."

"She's not in my head. She surprised me that's all. Besides, it's different now. We're both in a different place."

"I don't get it, man. How do you look at her and not think about all the shit that comes with being with her?"

"What the fuck, Rich?" I stepped to Richard, and he didn't back down. "You don't know what happened? No one knows what happened back between us. So, shut the fuck up."

"I know this girl is going to fuck with your head. Leave it alone."

"Hey," Jeff yelled.

We both turned to him. "What?" we said in unison.

"Seriously, dude. What does Carrington look like?"

I blinked and stepped away from Richard. He let out a breath and rubbed his hands through his hair and shook them out.

I took my phone out and flipped to a photo of Carrington from last May. Her hair was down, and she had this flirty tilt to her head. She looked through me, deep into my soul, and she liked what she saw and it made me happy.

I tossed the phone to Jeff.

"Damn, dude. If you don't want her, I'll take her."

"Jeff," Richard said.

"What?"

"Shut up."

I headed home. I understood where Richard was coming from. He wanted the best for me, and he wanted his quarterback happy and healthy, mentally as well as physically.

I had no clue what I was going to do.

When I turned on my street, my heart sank. Tiffany's yellow VW Bug was in my driveway. I had to talk myself out of driving away. I needed to handle the situation.

When I entered the house, Tiffany ran up to me and threw her arms around my neck.  She pulled me to her and pressed her lips against mine. She forced my lips apart and darted her tongue in my mouth.

I pushed her away harder than I attended. She gave me a sexy grin and attacked me, again.

I grabbed her arms and held them to her side.

"Tiff, stop for a second."

"What's wrong?" she asked and reached for the bottom of my shirt.

"Tiffany. Stop," I yelled.

Her eyes sprang instant tears.

How do girls do that?

She turned away and walked back into my place with her shoulders slumped.

She wiped her eyes as she sat down and waited.

I walked over and sat next to her on the couch.

"I told you not to wait for me."

"I wanted to see you tonight."

"Tiffany—"

"I'm sorry. You're right. I should give you your space. I know I can be selfish sometimes. I love being with you. When we're together, everything is okay."

"But we can't be together all the time."

"I don't know what you want, sometimes. It scares me."

I stood up and paced in front of the couch. I needed to tell her about Carrington. She was going to find out anyway.

I turned my back to her and blurted it out. "Carrington's here."

I waited for the fallout. I faced her. She sat with her hands on her lap. She wasn't crying. She rubbed her chin and frowned. She shook her head and collapsed against the back of the couch.

"Um ... what do you mean, she's here?"

"She came back to FSU."

"She's going to school here." Tiffany crossed her arms over her chest. "Why?"

"What do you mean why? I don't know why!"

"Why didn't you tell me this before?"

"I didn't know."

"Right, you didn't know. Your best friend," she applied air quotes, "didn't tell you she was returning to FSU."

"She wanted to surprise me."

"What did she do with the kid?"

"You know his name. Jack's here, too."

"Oh, great. Now you three can be one big happy family."

"Tiffany." I kneeled next to her, but she stood up and walked toward the door.

She had stopped before she reached it.

"It's okay. I know what she means to you. You can break up with me if you want to."

She gave me an out. How selfless of her? It wasn't like her. I didn't speak. I wanted her to walk out the door, and it would be done. I would be free, and Carrington and I could be together.

But she didn't leave. She stood there. She waited for me to say something.

A whimper escaped her lips, and she held her hand over her mouth. Her shoulders shook, and I knew she was about to lose control. I debated whether to go to her. It was the good guy in me who felt the need to comfort crying women. I blamed it on my dad. He instilled in my brothers and me the skill or the burden—depending on how you look at it—of being thoughtful and caring men. It was a trait that made me a good leader. If my teammates were happy, I was happy.

I went to her and wrapped my arms around her from behind. She whimpered at my touch and stepped away, but I didn't let her get away. I pulled her to me and she let out a sigh that reached through my chest and punched me in the heart. I didn't want to hurt her. I surprised myself. Maybe I did care a little.

"Tiffany, shhh. Don't cry."

I turned her around, and she hid her face from me. I touched her face, and she sighed. I pulled her to me and she cried, but not hysterical sobs. It was all quite dignified.

"I don't want to lose you," she whispered, and she wrapped her arms around me, one hand snuck under my shirt and up my spine.

"You're not losing me." I led her over to the couch and sat her down. I pushed her hair out of her face and wiped the tears. I couldn't do it. I couldn't cut her off.

Dammit. Why can't I be an asshole like other guys?

Tiffany meant a lot to me. She'd helped me move on with my life. The last three months, it'd been her and I. And while Carrington was on my mind, I’d developed feelings for Tiffany. I just hadn't realized how much.

Bottom line, it was hard to let her go.

If Carrington had told me at the beginning of the summer that she was coming back to school, things would be different. I could have made a clean break with Tiffany. If I had known, I would never have gotten more involved with Tiffany.