Hope for Him (Hope Series Book #2) (7 page)

He spoke to people as he passed, and nodded and smiled to the many who stood around admiring him. I was one of them. I quickened my steps to grab him before he disappeared in the Student Union, but I stopped in my tracks at the door when I saw who had caught his attention. The six foot blond hot chick stared down the girls at the door, fuming and tapping her foot. She said something as he approached; he grabbed her face and laid a kiss on her that made no mistake who she was and what she was to him. That was a
mark my territory and don't mess with what I got
kind of kiss.

All I could do was sit and watch. The blond chick softened after the kiss and seemed pleased with the result when she noticed no one was ogling her boyfriend, my Jackson. Her Jackson.

It sounded so weird. I had thought of him as my Jackson for so long. I bit my lip to avoid crying out. I watched them for a few minutes more. Maybe they were good friends. He was a good kisser; maybe he got that way by practicing with his friends. She couldn't be that important to him. Otherwise, he would have mentioned her to me. I knew I was fooling myself. The way he kissed her, the way he touched her face. They were together, and she was the source of his happiness. They chatted for a few minutes and then he got up. Scared he would see me, I turned and walked back toward my place. 

Our class times on Monday were close together, so Kayla met me with Jack. They headed toward me about halfway between campus and my house.

"Hey, Carrington. Look, Jack. There's Mommy."

Jack reached for me, and my tears flowed.

"Oh, wow. Hey, Carrington, what's wrong?"

I kneeled down next to Jack and kissed him on his cheek and each of his little hands. I owed him an apology for dragging him back here and using his money and his grandfather's guilt to do it.

I should have stayed in Texas with my family and with people who loved him.

Coming back to FSU might have been the biggest mistake of my life.

I stood back up and gave Kayla a hug. "I'm fine. A little overwhelmed. I'm sorry."

"No, don't be sorry. Are you sure you’re okay?"

"I'm fine. You're going to be late for your first class, go. We can talk later."

"Okay, but so you know, it's okay to be freaked out. This is big for you. Take it one day at a time."

"Thanks." I forced a smile and nodded. She backed away from Jack and me. "Really. I'll be okay. I'll talk to you tonight."

She waved and headed toward campus.

I tossed my books in the bottom of Jack's stroller and pushed him back toward the house. My anxiety increased as I approached the condo. I didn't want to go in there. I had an issue with closed spaces sometimes and walking into that house made my heart race. I headed toward the open area near the edge of campus. I found a nice tree and spread a blanket out on the grass. It was warm, but the breeze made it nice to sit outside. I welcomed the open area, no walls closing in on me. No doors locking me in.

I pulled Jack out of his stroller, hugged him, and sat him down on my lap. He soon wanted to explore. My head dropped into my hands. I attempted to talk myself out of throwing all of our stuff in my car and heading back to Texas this afternoon. 

We could be back in Texas in twelve hours and no one would know. Jack would never know his mom moved him a thousand miles away from the only home he knew because of a fantasy she couldn't let go of. 

When I got myself under control, my phone beeped. It took me fifteen minutes to look at the message. I knew it was Jackson. Of course, it would be him. God loved to pile it on me.

Last year when I found out I was pregnant, it happened on the same day I found my boyfriend, who was a recovering alcoholic, started drinking.

Let the pile on begin.

Jackson: Hey {picture of corn}, How’s the first day of class?

Carrington: Fine. U?

Jackson:  Good. It's so crazy. I was in the Student Union grabbing lunch, and I thought I saw you. It was so weird. I must have had you on my mind. You okay?

Carrington: You did see me on campus. I'm here at FSU. Surprise!

Two minutes later, my phone rang.

I accepted the call but didn't say hello. Neither did Jackson. I knew he was on the other end of the line. I could hear noise in the background. 

Another awkward minute had passed before he said, "Are you fucking with me? Because if you are, it's not funny."

"No, I'm really here."

"How did this happen?"

"I—"

"When did you get here?"

"Well—"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Jackson."

"What?"

"Will you let me finish a sentence?"

"I can't believe this. Where are you? Are you still on campus?"

"I'm on the east side of campus, across from the high school."

"Stay there. I'm on my way."

He hung up the phone. I couldn't tell if he was pissed or happy. I didn't know if I was pissed or happy. I had worked up in my head how this was supposed to go, but it never crossed my mind that Jackson Latre Mitchell would have a girlfriend.

I stood up and plastered a smile across my face as he approached. I braced myself for the onslaught, whatever was about to happen. I had no clue. His face held a neutral express and that freaked me out.

He stopped in front of me, and I held my breath. I swayed back trying to slow down my heart and hoped my lungs would kick back in on their own. Jackson reached out and placed his hands on my shoulders. I exhaled and he pulled me to him and wrapped his arms around me.

I attempted to raise my arms and hug him back, but they were pinned to my side. I coughed and took a step backward. He loosened his grip but stepped with me. We rocked back and forth holding each other.

"I can't believe you’re here."

"Me, either." My words muffled by his shirt.

He let go but grabbed my hand. We stared down at Jack lying on his stomach. How could he sleep through a moment like this? I laughed out loud and covered my mouth so I wouldn't wake him.

"I should probably get him inside."

"Where do you live?" I pointed to my townhouse four houses away. "You want to come in."

"Yeah."

I picked up Jack and put him in his stroller. Jackson picked up the blanket and shook it out.

He fell in step next me as we walked to my house.

A lump developed in the back of my throat, and I blinked back tears when Jackson didn't reach for my hand.

J
ackson Latre Mitchell

My mind raced as I scrolled through my mental capacities trying to figure out what I missed. How was it that the girl of my dreams—the one I have loved since the day I met her, the girl who I spent all summer getting over—was in a condo in Tallahassee, Florida? 

She put Jack to bed and I waited for her in the living room of her townhouse, checking the place out. It had a good mix of neutral items and Carrington's style. Mr. Griffin did this for her.

It hit me how she had been communicating with him and things were good with them. I couldn't help but feel jealous. Mr. Griffin hurt her so bad, but he knew more about her than I did. It pissed me off and when she returned, I was still pissed.

"What the fuck is going on here, Carrington?"

"Shh." She sat down on the couch and I followed her.

"When did you decide to come back?"

"In May."

After we slept together. She didn't say it, but I added it myself. She had decided, but she didn't tell me.

I felt the tension build behind my eyes, and I rubbed my forehead to ward off a killer headache.

"You knew all summer and didn't tell me."

"I didn't want to confuse you. I wanted to surprise you."

"Well, you surprised me."

"Are you mad at me?"

"No, I'm not mad. I'm ... I wish you had told me. Back then."

"Well, you didn't tell me about your new girlfriend, so I guess we're even."

"How do you know about Tiffany?"

"I saw you kiss her in the Student Union."

"Oh." I sat down and covered my face with my hands.

"Why didn't you tell me about her?" she asked.

"I don't know. I guess I felt guilty."

"Guilty about what? Jackson, we didn't make any promises to each other. I can't be mad at you for finding someone."

"No. Guilty for moving on with my life." I stood back up and paced the floor. "And now you're here, and I don't know what this means."

"I didn't come back here to be with you."

"What?" I cocked my head and raised my eyebrows.

"No, Jackson really, I wanted to come back and continue my life. I chose to come to FSU for a reason. And then everything happened, and I feel like my life has been on hold for a year, and I want my life back. I want the college experience I was cheated out of because of Josh. I don't want to hide out at home anymore."

I nodded my head.

I didn’t think she was lying. It might not be the only reason, but it was a big part of it. My shoulders relaxed, and I stared down at her. I admired her bravery. It couldn't be easy coming back here after what happened, but she was ready to start living, and I was so proud of her.

"Carrington." I walked over, sat back down, and hugged her. I pulled her into my arms. I didn't know what else to say. She melted into me, and I held her close with one hand on her back and the other running my hand through her hair. It struck me how intimate the gesture was, but I didn't care at the moment.

"And I figured if, by chance, we got another shot that would be a bonus."

I held her at arm’s length to see if she was kidding. A smile spread across her face and she let out a hysterical laugh that shook her whole body. I watched her with a raised eyebrow. She sounded a little crazy. "Oh my God. I can't believe you have a girlfriend."

"Carrington." I stood up.

"Would you stop saying my name?" she asked. "And sit down, you're freaking me out."

I sat back down next to her and held her hand. I always loved her fingers. They were long and thin and her nails were always painted a cool color. I rubbed my fingertips over the polish. Today they were pink, which complemented her light brown skin tone. I wanted to kiss each finger, but I didn't. I settled for holding her hand.

"Don't you see how insane this is?"

My eyes found hers, and they had calmed from their maniacal look from a moment before. I nodded.

"We meet and hit it off and for whatever reason, you don't ask me out, but your best friend does. Then he kills himself. A year later, we sleep together, and it was freakin’ amazing, and I worked up in my head that was it. It's Jackson and Carrington. We are going to be together, and I am so ready to be with you that I wait four months to tell you, and in the meantime, you meet someone else. That is fucking crazy. I mean, what is wrong with us?"

"I don't know." I dropped her hand and sat back on the couch. We sat side by side, neither of us touching, but the heat from her body made my entire left side sweat. I pushed it out of my brain. If I was one to believe in signs—well, Carrington spelled out twenty reasons why the world didn't want us together.

The irony of the situation was that if she had told me at the beginning of the summer, before she drove off—if she had said what she felt—Tiffany and I would have been history the moment I stepped off the plane.

I caught that she figured Tiffany and I met over the summer. I didn't feel the need to clarify.

There was no point.

"So, tell me about her." Carrington broke the silence with an unexpected question.

"Her name’s Tiffany Chandler. She's from Tennessee. She transferred here from the University of Tennessee."

"What's her major, basketball?"

"Oh, that's funny."

"I meant she's tall—"

"Yes, she's tall."

"And blond."

"Yes, her hair is blond."

"You guys look perfect together." Carrington voice cracked on the word perfect, and I knew what she was saying. I wanted to reassure her but didn't know how to without insulting her or digging myself into a bigger hole.

I turned to face her.

"I am glad you're here. Now that the initial shock has worn off," I said.

"Really?"

"And even though I'm with Tiffany, you're still my best friend."

She smiled at me and my heart hurt. I grabbed her hand and squeezed it to steady my heart from beating out of my chest. I turned to face forward.

The girl's smile floored me, and I needed to avoid it because she saw right through me.

I felt her move and reach for my arm. She placed it over her shoulder and laid her head on my chest. I knew she could feel my heart race, but she laced her fingers with mine, and we remained that way, lost in our own thoughts.

After some time had passed, she squeezed my hand and said, "You're my best friend, too."

I let go of my breath, not realizing I had been holding it. We sat on her new couch in her new place in Tallahassee—both coming to the same conclusions, the same universal truth. We needed each other in some form or fashion, and we would take each other any way we could. 

#

C
arrington Olivia Butler

"You want something to drink?" I asked. Sitting here on the couch with my head on his chest felt all too familiar and way too nice, but things were different now.

"Yeah. Whatever you got."

I walked into the kitchen and felt his eyes on me, watching me from behind. I wanted to turn around and catch him, smile, and flirt to give him a show. I could giggle and lick my lips and toss my hair and lean much too close to him. Place a hand on his thigh and tell him how much I wanted him. I could seduce him and make Blondie a distant memory, but I didn't. I didn't want to make him cheat.

It wasn't fair to him or to her. I didn't owe her anything. I kind of hated her, but I couldn't blame her. Jackson was gorgeous and sweet and amazing in bed. He was any girl’s dream. I couldn't blame her for going after my man, the bitch.

Stop it, Carrington.

I handed Jackson a bottle of water and sat on the other end of the couch.

"How's it feel, being back here?" he asked.