Honest Love (12 page)

“I’m sure it does.  I can’t imagine what you went through, Claire.  I mean, if Abbi would have gotten pregnant with another guy’s kid, especially one of my friends or teammates…hell, I’d probably be in prison for killing the bastard.”  Derek had started to rub his hand up and down my arm.  It felt good, relaxing. 

“Well, like I told you before, for the majority of our marriage, I was waiting for the other shoe to drop.  I just didn’t quite expect it to be
that.”

He kissed my temple.

“Claire, I don’t know how you are as amazing as you are considering what you went through.  You’re kind and loving, not at all bitter.  And the way you talk to your kids…well, it just makes me want…”

I looked at Derek’s face.  “Want what?”

He hung his head.  “I wanted kids.  She didn’t.”

“What?”

“Yeah, every time I’d bring it up, Abbi would turn it into this huge argument about being tied down with kids while I got to travel with the team.  Now that I think about it, I’m sure it had something to do with not wanting to be tied down at all.”

“Hey, look at me.”  I touched his face to make him look me in the eye.  “She’s screwed up, Derek.  Rarely do you run across a woman that does not want kids.  You’d be a great father, I can tell.”

“Thank you.”  He was sad.

“You’re still plenty young to have a family, Derek.  Don’t give up.”  The sudden ping of jealousy at the thought of Derek with another woman was unexpected.  My brain went into overload.  I needed to keep this as simple as possible with Derek…keep from getting too attached.  He still wanted a family of his own.  I could feel a sadness washing over me.  I had to think of something quick or it was going to ruin our weekend.  So I said, “Think about all those old men marrying hot young things and before you know it, she’s popping out children.” 

Derek laughed, twisted his body and grabbed me around the waist throwing me backwards on the couch, covering me with his whole body.  I let out a little scream of laughter.  “See?  You’re incredible.  I was trying to cheer you up, not the other way around.  Now kiss me, woman.”  I grabbed his face and kissed him hard.  I was going enjoy him while I could.  Fuck doing the right thing.  It was overrated.

I felt every part of him against me and we were both losing control.  I ran my hands under his shirt so I could feel his warm skin.  He sat up just enough for me to pull it over his head.

“Claire”…kiss… “I’m losing my willpower.”

“Me, too.”  I was practically clawing up and down his back.  “I don’t want to stop.”

Derek leaned back, breaking our kiss to look at my face.  “Please tell me you really mean that.”

I wiggled to try and take my sweater off.  Not an easy feat with a giant, muscular man on top of you.  “Let me.”  He sat up, took my hand and pulled me up to sitting.  With slow, soft fingers, Derek lifted the sweater over my head, revealing my nude, lacy bra.

A moan escaped his lips.  I kept my eyes locked on his face.  “Not here.”  He stood and led me to the huge king-sized bed.  Standing at the edge, I carefully ran my finger around the front of his jeans, stopping right at the button.  My hand was shaking and he saw.  I watched Derek’s face as he was carefully pulling the straps of my bra down my arms while I unbuttoned his jeans.  He looked at me and asked, “Are you sure?”

“Yes, but I’m nervous.”  His hands had moved to my back, ready to unclasp my bra but stilled when I said I was nervous.

Laying his forehead against mine, he said, “We can stop if you want.”

“No, I don’t want to stop.  It’s just—different.” 

I felt the small little ‘pop’ of the hooks holding my bra in place and then the cool air of the room hitting my bare chest.  Derek looked at my naked breasts, smiled then leaned down and kissed one nipple making it pucker.  I reached and gripped my hands in his wavy, short hair as I hissed at the magnificent sensation of his lips and beard on me.

“Derek…”  He grabbed me around the waist and lifted my body so he could continue his assault while he moved us to the bed.  Laying his body on top of mine made it hard for me to work at getting his pants off.  I wasn’t even sure if I could function.  The slow sucking on my breasts had me incapacitated.  My back was arching towards his hot mouth in need of more.  I gripped the sides of his head to keep him from moving.  I was so lost in the sensation, that I didn’t register Derek’s hand sliding between us toward my wet center until I felt my jeans start to move. 

“Oh, God.  Derek”

He softly kissed the edges of my breasts and looked at my face while his hand continued to work at my jeans.  “What is it, beautiful?  What do you need?”

I cupped his face and looked into his sexy eyes.  “You…”

“How long has it been?”

“Forever.” 

Derek gave me a slight smile, then asked, “Has there been anyone else, Claire?”

I was a little shocked at his question, but not offended.  “Since Jake?  No.”

The sound of Jake’s name, especially when talking about sex, had Derek’s face turning hard, his jaw clinching.  He stared at me for several long seconds.  “Good, but I don’t want to think about
him
touching you either.”

I liked the feeling of Derek being protective…jealous even.  It was a reaction that was pretty foreign to me.

With my hands still on his face, I said, “I don’t want to talk about Jake” before I sucked his bottom lip between mine.  The kiss that followed was wet and hard letting him know I was only thinking about one person.  Derek suddenly sat up and quickly jerked my jeans the rest of the way off leaving my nude colored ‘barely there’ panties. 

“So beautiful.”  He was staring up and down my body.  I had the urge to cover myself, but fought it.  Watching him look at me was so sexy.  I stole a glance at his giant erection threatening to rip a hole in his pants and he saw me.  So with slow, cautious movements, he climbed off the bed and made a show of unzipping his jeans and pulling them down and off his body.  I gasped and covered my mouth when his erection sprang free, causing Derek to let out a raspy laugh.  He didn’t say anything as he crawled back onto the bed and laid at my side.  I wanted to turn over and straddle him, but as soon as I started to turn, he pushed my shoulder back down and said, “Not yet.” 

With one hand propping up his head, Derek used the other to trace circles around each breast, pinching the tips, making me moan, then down my belly to the edge of my panties.  I turned my face to look at his just as warm fingers slipped inside and found my wet folds.  I moved my legs slightly to open for him and fought the urge to close my eyes, especially when he whispered, “Claire…”

He avoided touching my clit and instead pushed one finger inside me.  “Derek.”  He leaned over and covered my mouth with his, licking and playing with my lips and tongue. 

I wiggled my hips trying to get his hand to touch just the right spots, but he was steady and determined not to go to fast.  I was starting to understand his earlier question.  He knew I would be super sensitive.

“Be still, baby.”

“I can’t.” I tried moving again, but he wasn’t having it.  “Please…”

“Shh…”  He was still kissing and working his mouth on mine.  “Here…,” he said as he pushed a second finger inside me and pressed his thumb against my clit.  “Better?”

“Yes…but I want…oh God…Der…”  I could feel my body tightening around him.  “No…”

“Shh, just let go.”  His raspy words were so unbelievably sexy, all low and quiet in my ear, and just enough to tip me over the edge causing my body to pulsate around his fingers. 

I only registered a slight shift on the bed as my orgasm was calming before I felt his very large cock slowly enter me.  I opened my eyes to see Derek on top of me, guiding himself into my opening.

I opened my legs wider and we both watched him slide inside.  “Ahh…”

“Are you okay?  I’m sorry baby.”  His arms were on both sides of my head, holding most of his weight off my body.  He kissed my nose, laid his forehead against mine and whispered, “I had to get you really wet.  I didn’t want to hurt you.”

I loved it when he put his forehead against mine.  I like being that close to him and feeling his breath on me.  “I’m okay.”  I smiled.  “I’m great, actually.”  I wiggled my hips as much as I could.

“Hang on.  Just give me a minute.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.  I just need a second.  I want to just feel you…”  I smiled and he kissed my lips, then sucked my bottom lip into his mouth and let his teeth graze it as he pulled back.

“You feel amazing.”

“So do you.”  I pinched his ass then slapped it.

He raised his eyebrows and thrust once into me causing the air to rush passed my lips.  “Did you just slap my ass?”

“Uh-huh.”  I was lost in his one movement. 

“Well, then how about this?”  Derek thrust once more, then pulled out slightly and did it again.  The loud ‘Oh God’ that came from my mouth got him going.

“Shit.  So.  Good.”  He was pushing into me with each word.

“Derek…more.”  I was squeezing his ass like I couldn’t get enough of the feel of it.  I wrapped my legs around him and locked my ankles.  The move sent his cock deeper into me.  “Yes.”

“Claire.”  He was losing control.  “Hands.”

I knew what he meant.  He wanted my hands.  I let go of his ass and put them above my head.  Derek interlocked our finger and groaned, “Hold on.”  I tightened my grip.

His mouth slammed down on mine and our kiss was all consuming as he rocked into me over and over and over, reaching places deep inside me that I was sure had never been touched.  I loved being at his mercy with my hands held down and Derek’s sweaty hard body weighing on top. 

“Oh, Dere…coming…” was all I could mutter.

“Me, too.” 

Still holding on tight to my hands, I felt Derek start to shudder and get harder as he pumped into me.  I let him have all of me in that one moment.  It was like a new Claire was breaking out of her other skin and Derek was right there to make it happen. 

As our breathing slowed, he placed soft kisses all over my face and neck.  Neither of us said a word.  I relaxed my legs from around his back, but he didn’t release my fingers and I loved it.  Instead, he was rubbing his thumb across mine.  It was sweet, tender and loving.

I finally broke the silence and said, “That was pretty amazing.”

He lifted and looked at my face.  “Yes, it was.  You’re amazing
and
beautiful.”  I smiled and Derek kissed me gently on the lips.

“Thank you…for bringing me here, for caring…for
this
.”

“You sound like
I
was doing
you
a favor.  Believe me, I’m the one thankful!  I’m spending Christmas Day naked in bed with the most incredible woman I’ve ever met.  I could lose myself in you, Claire.  I don’t think you realize that.”

“I feel the same way.”

Derek kissed the side of my neck, then suddenly stiffened and leaned up of his arms.  “Oh God, Claire…I forgot to put on a condom.  Shit.  I had it right here.”  He pointed to the nightstand. 

I put my hand on his chest.  “Hey!  Don’t panic…unless you have some disease I need to know about.  It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not.  I didn’t mean to do that.”

“Derek, if you’re worried about me getting pregnant…don’t.  You’re safe.  Besides, I’m too old for more kids.”

Derek relaxed, but his face showed he was deep in thought.  Once again, he laid his forehead against mine and quietly said, “I’m still sorry.  And, you’re not too old.  In fact, a baby with you?  Well, I might kind of like that.”

I became still and quiet, the slight smile frozen on my face to hide my real thoughts and feelings. 
That
was not something I would ever consider.  He needed someone younger than me, without all the baggage and kids.  “That’s nice of you to say.”

He rolled off of me and said, “Nice of me to say?  That’s an odd response.”

I covered myself with the sheet and turned on my side to look at his handsome face.  I had to be honest with him.  “Derek, I’m older than you…not by much, but older still.  And I have three kids that are teenagers.  I love spending time with you.  But, you’re going to meet some lucky girl…a
younger
lucky girl that you’ll be able to build a life with, have kids with someday.  Will that bother me?  Well, right now I can honestly say hell yes, but it is what it is.”  I reached up and placed my hand on his cheek. 

“It would bother you?”

“Of course it would!  I happen to think you’re pretty fabulous.  Can we not talk about this?  I want to enjoy our time together…however long that may be for us.  Okay?  And this subject makes me sad.”

Derek scooted closer to me, our nose touching, determination in his look.  “I’ll let it go for now, but you should know that I’m not looking for anyone else.  And I’m not letting you go.  I love being with you, Claire.  I think about you constantly and want you in my life.  So, stop with all that other stuff.  I am hereby calling you my girl.”

I laughed.  “I’m not going to fight you right now, Derek.”  Save that fight for later.  “And I love being with you too.”  I kissed his mouth with a tender peck.  “Your girl?  I think I like the sound of that.” 

Derek jumped on me, pushing me into the mattress and tenderly kissed all over my body. 

It was late afternoon before we left the room. 

Chapter 17

Derek

I’d been quiet on the ride to Temecula that morning.  At first, I’d been thinking about my bathroom incident at Claire’s house.  But then my thoughts turned to Claire and all the new feelings she had stirring in me.  The sudden urge to hold her—to touch her body had me reaching over, locking our finger together and kissing the back of her hand.  She was mine…before she ever knew it.

I watched her sleep, curled up next to me, breeze floating through our hotel room.  I was falling fast for my beautiful Claire.  We’d made love, showered together, then made love again.  By the time we left our room, it was almost dinnertime.  We walked around the vineyard holding hands, sporting our obvious ‘sexed-up’ smiles on our faces.  Neither of us had a lot to say, which seemed to make it all the more perfect.