Hollywood & Vine (28 page)

“Nothing happened to me. This is who I am. You knew that going in.”

“And I didn’t want anything to do with you! But you kept pushing and pushing and pushing. And damn it, I’m here. With you. So give me something, Anders. Help me understand. I’m tired of standing on the outside. Let me in or let me go.”

Anders’ jaw ticked as they stared at each other. He wanted to distract her, shift the focus of the conversation, but the stubborn set of her shoulders and the fire burning in her eyes showed she wouldn’t be put off again.

The funny thing was, he did trust her to not tell his secrets. He wasn’t sure when that had happened, but it had. What he didn’t trust was how vulnerable it would make him or what she would do with that information once he messed everything up and they went their separate ways.

Josie’s shoulders slumped as she continued to stare at his stoic and unyielding expression. “Just forget it. I’m not going to force you to share things that you should want to. This is ridiculous.”

“Damn it. Just stop, okay? Christ.” Anders raked his hands through his hair.

“No. I won’t stop. I won’t stand here while you come up with a way to get out of telling me anything that gives any sort of insight into the person you are. Right now, we’re no more than fuck buddies. But we don’t even have the ease of that because we are constantly fighting. Why are we doing this?”

“Because I fucking care about you,” he spat, his anger rising at being forced to admit feelings he didn’t understand or want.

“And I care about you! But it’s not enough. It’s not enough to care about each other if you’re going to continue to hold me at arm’s length.”

“I’m trying, okay?”

“Liar. The only thing you’re trying to do is control everything about our relationship.”

“You didn’t tell your brother about me! It doesn’t seem like you’re trying very hard yourself.”

“Oh, don’t be a hypocrite. I haven’t told Holden about us because I have no idea how to explain any of this. What am I to you? I’m tired of second-guessing myself. I hate this.” The breath stuttered in her chest, and her eyes burned with unshed tears of anger and frustration.

Anders’ entire body tensed at the look on her face and the defeat in her voice. It set him on edge and caused fear to burn through his veins. Before he could stop himself, he rounded the corner of the desk and pulled her roughly against his chest. Winding his hands in her hair, he tilted her face until their eyes locked. “You want to know what you are to me?” he asked through gritted teeth. “You’re mine. That’s what.”

The force of his kiss made her grip his shoulders to stop her knees from buckling. His lips were punishing and desperate as he claimed her mouth. His grip tightened, his fingers flexing and pulling her closer, demanding and hungry.

Josie moaned in pleasure and pain, frustration and relief. She gripped him as tightly as he held her, both of them trying to pull their bodies closer, battling to consume and be consumed. Panting, they pulled apart, their eyes locked.

The sound of voices outside the door caused Josie to start. Jerking away from Anders, she smoothed her hair. He reached for her, his brows drawn together in confusion until he heard voices as well. He took several steps back and scrubbed his hands over his face.

Josie lifted a shaky hand and pressed her fingers against her kiss-swollen lips. “You should go.”

“Will you do me a favor?” Anders shook his head when Josie’s mouth fell open in disbelief. “It’s nothing big, just…don’t look at the pictures of last night. I’m not trying to hide anything. I just
―
can you come over tonight? We’ll look at them together. And we’ll talk. Okay?”

Josie studied him for a long moment before nodding. For some reason she liked the idea of him being with her. Plus he’d be close enough to hit if the situation arose. “Okay.”

Anders walked out of the office then ducked back in, his lips curved into a mischievous smile. “You should pack an overnight bag. I’m not letting you leave tonight.”

W
hen Anders pulled into his driveway later that evening, Josie was already there. The familiar mix of excitement and dread that had plagued him throughout the day washed over him once more. A normal person would be afraid of the unknown, of what the future held, but Anders’ reactions were far beyond those of a normal person. He was guarded and selfish. Instead of wondering what she was doing, his knee-jerk reaction
―
his first thought
―
was how to get his key back without pissing her off. With each step they took, their relationship became more real and pulled him a little further from his comfort zone.

Walking through the front door, Anders tossed his keys on the entry table. He pulled off his shoes and pushed them against the wall next to Josie’s. The sight of her things lying around caused his breaths to come in short choppy pants. He blinked several times to clear his vision.

“Fuck,” he muttered as he walked toward the sound of the television.

He leaned against the doorway and watched Josie. She bobbed her head and mouthed the words to whatever song played on her iPod. With her eyes glued to her sketchpad, her hand flew over the paper. The house seemed different, fuller. He walked to the back of the couch and tugged out one of her earbuds, causing her to jump.

“Shit! You scared me.”

“Sorry. I didn’t expect you to be here already.” He didn’t mean for his words to sound as harsh as they did, but his conflicting emotions made it impossible to hide the edge in his voice.

Josie dropped her eyes and closed her sketchpad. “Oh. Sorry. I thought you’d be here. You didn’t give a time. I should have called you first.”

Anders moved around the couch and sat beside her. He didn’t want to make her feel bad. “It’s fine. I’ve just had a long day and a lot of unwanted attention. I’d say I’m an asshole, but I think we covered that part of my personality earlier.”

Josie leaned into his side when he wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer. “I’m sorry, I’m still too hung up on the part where you called the attention you were getting unwanted to comment on the asshole part. When has attention ever been unwanted by you?”

“Oh, the things I want to do to that smart-ass mouth of yours.”

“Promises, promises,” she quipped, pinching his thigh.

He grabbed for her hand and held it in the air so she couldn’t assault him again. “Are you hungry?”

“I could eat.”

“Come on, let’s see what I have.”

After heating up the food Josie had left the night before, they settled back on the couch with their plates. Josie sipped from her glass of wine as Anders grabbed a coaster for his beer. They ate in silence for a few minutes before Anders couldn’t stand the cloud hanging over his head any longer. He wanted to show her the pictures and talk about them so they could act normal again. Well, normal for them. Which meant they’d bicker before he threw her down on the bed and exhausted the fight out of them both.

Without speaking, he left the room and grabbed his laptop. He walked back into the room, determination etched in his features. “I need you to not flip out. I have no idea what we’re going to see or how they’ve spun it. Just listen to me. Okay?”

“The bigger deal you make of this, the more nervous I get. Let’s get it over with already.” Josie pulled her knees into her chest and leaned against the corner of the couch. She didn’t understand why he was acting so weird, but it only made her more uncomfortable.

Anders wasn’t worried about what the pictures would show. They were harmless. What he worried about was how Josie would react to them. It was why he wanted to be there when she looked.

As soon as he clicked the first link, he groaned and let his head fall against the couch. It was a picture of Aubrey stroking his face as they stared at one another. Her expression was etched with concern and Anders appeared ready to murder someone. The caption made him want to vomit.

“Distraught by the onslaught of paparazzi, Anders Ellis seeks comfort from girlfriend Aubrey Nash.”

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Anders spat, his face twisted in disgust. He shifted his eyes to Josie, who stared at the screen, her face stoic. “Hey, look at me.” When she didn’t respond, he set the computer on the coffee table and leaned over her. Caging her with his arms, he lowered his head until they were eye level. “Ivy. Remember what I said?”

She lifted her eyes, the sheen of angry tears causing her vision to blur. “This fucking sucks, okay? I hate this.” She swiped angrily at her cheeks and averted her gaze.

“It does. I don’t like this any more than you do. I get that I fucked up by going last night and not giving us time to deal with this. But I’m trying. I’m fucking trying.”

“I know you are, which only makes it worse.”

“Come here.” He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and leaned back until his back was flat on the couch and she was lying on top of him. “We were walking into the restaurant, and I heard someone who shouldn’t be anywhere near me, and it set me off. Aubrey noticed and asked if I was okay. That’s all.”

“Who was it?”

Anders shook his head. “Just some bastard from my past. I was probably wrong anyway. It was so fucking loud.”

Josie played with the button of his shirt, her eyes focused on her hand as she tried to pull herself together. The surge of jealousy that shot through her was unexpected. She’d never been the jealous type. She’d never been any type until Anders. He made her feel everything. “Let’s just finish, okay?”

“God, yes. There are so many other things I’d rather be doing with you.” He kissed her once before she slid off him and settled into his side, closer this time.

They browsed a couple of different sites, each claiming insider knowledge about the new “it” couple. The more pictures they looked at and the more Anders explained, the more relaxed Josie became. The third glass of wine in her hand helped too.

“What were you doing here? You look like you were chastising her.”

Anders chuckled at the picture. “You picked up on that? You didn’t think
―
what did that onlooker say? Oh, I remember. ‘Their teasing and playful stares were insanely hot.’”

Josie pointed at the screen and tapped it twice. “That’s not teasing and playful. I’m familiar with those expressions.”

Anders threw his laptop on the table with a little more force than he intended. Before Josie could react, he pounced. She squealed when the room tipped and she was suddenly on her back. He lowered his mouth to her ear and bit down. “Yes, you are.” He flexed his hips as she wrapped her legs around his waist and squeezed.

His hands traveled down her sides and around the curve of her ass before sliding up her thighs. Kissing up her neck to her jaw, he grazed his lips over her skin, his breath pushing past his lips in a heavy exhale of tension and relief. “Can…God, Ivy. I…I need.” He squeezed his eyes shut, and when he opened them again, his gaze was dark and desperate. “Please?”

Josie nodded as she laced her fingers around his neck and locked her ankles behind his back. Anders wrapped her in his arms and pushed up on his knees. Standing from the couch, he cupped her ass and walked to his bedroom, continually kissing her lips, jaw, and neck.

The soft light filtering from the bathroom was the only illumination in the bedroom as they undressed each other. Lips tasted bare, smooth skin, heated with desire and flushed with need. Feather soft touches left trails of goose bumps as Anders laid Josie on his bed. Whispered curses and panting moans broke the otherwise silent room as he pushed into her. They moved together, their bodies in perfect sync. Anders sucked and licked the column of her neck until her back arched and her mouth fell open as she came undone.

Anders followed moments later, collapsing on top of her, their erratic heartbeats an echo into the other’s chest. He lay that way for several moments before rolling onto his back and pulling her against his chest. Lightly moving his fingertips over the length of her arm, he stared at the dark ceiling.

“She asked about my parents.” The sound of his voice caused Josie to startle.

“What?”

“The picture. The one we were talking about. She asked about my parents.”

“Oh.” Josie wasn’t sure how to respond. They’d never talked about his family. He always changed the subject or flat-out refused to answer. She suspected from the expression in that picture Aubrey had received a similar response. Anders was quiet again, and Josie assumed the subject was closed until he suddenly spoke.

“They’re still married. My parents. I’m pretty sure it’s only because they don’t believe in divorce.”

Josie ran her fingers over Anders’ chest. “Do you still talk to them?”

Anders swallowed down his panic. If he wanted to keep her, he had to open up. And while he’d rather eat razor blades than make himself vulnerable, he wanted her to leave even less.

“Sometimes. Things are...strained. They…we don’t see eye to eye on very much. We haven’t for a while.”

Josie misinterpreted his words, thinking they disapproved of his lifestyle. “So your parents aren’t fond of your extracurricular activities?”

Anders stiffened and balled his fists. “My parents don’t give a fuck about what I do on my own time. It’s none of their business anyway. Let’s just say, they had a vested interest in my success.”