Authors: Olivia Evans
Anders sat stone still as Owen’s words filtered through his alcohol-clouded brain. Owen was calling him out about not hooking up, but the rest lost him. “What the fuck are you talking about? What does Eva have to do with anything?”
Owen cocked his head to the side and studied Anders. A chuckle bubbled from his chest as his face colored with understanding. “Fuck man, you’re always the last to know just how much you’ve been fucked over. Your makeup girl? It seems she’s moved on. Got herself a new guy. One you know very well.”
Anders’ heart picked up speed as anxiety and adrenaline crashed through his veins, wrecking his nerves and setting him on edge. “Don’t fuck with me right now. It’s obvious I have no idea what you’re talking about. Stop with the dramatics and spit it out already.”
Fishing out his phone, Owen opened his browser and moved his fingers over the keys a few times before sliding the phone across the table. “They look pretty cozy to me, wouldn’t you agree? Like they’ve known each other for quite some time.”
Anders held his hand steady as he reached for the phone. For a moment, he imagined this must be how Josie felt whenever she looked at pictures of him with someone else. Of course that sentiment faded when he focused on the screen. His throat tightened as jealousy, anger, and betrayal ate through him like acid.
“What the fuck?” His voice was low, his words spat through clenched teeth and a jaw set in stone. Sliding his finger over the screen, bile rose in his throat as he read the caption.
Words like “moving on,” “secret lover,” and “a new man” burned into his mind and caused a searing pain in his chest. It wasn’t the words that caused him to shove away from the table and bolt from his seat, though. It was the pictures of Josie and Levi talking outside a theater, having dinner together, and his arm wrapped around her as they ran through the rain that caused Anders to lose sight of reason. “I’ve gotta go.”
Owen realized his mistake too late. He was in no shape to reason with Anders. “No, man. What are you going to do? Confront her? What good will that do? Sit down. Pour a drink. Smoke a joint. Relax and fuck some of the uncomplicated pussy around here.”
Anders shook his head. Locked in a defiant stance, his entire body screamed stubborn determination. “Fuck that. I can’t sit here.” Tossing Owen’s phone on the table, he took two steps before pausing and looking over his shoulder. “Keep that close.” Anders nodded to where he’d dropped the phone. “I might need you to bail me out of jail later.” Then he left, ignoring his friend’s protests.
Slamming his car door, he gripped the steering wheel and pulled in a deep breath. He couldn’t understand why Josie was with Levi. Why she was with one of the people instrumental in the biggest betrayals of his life. She wouldn’t do that to him. Josie was different. She was better.
He thought about the times he’d disregarded her feelings. How he’d pushed her away and treated her like she didn’t matter. Was this revenge? Had he hurt her so much she’d become someone else? It wouldn’t be the first time something like that happened. He was proof of that.
A growl of frustration rumbled in his chest as he banged his forehead against the steering wheel. Doubt crept up his spine, and even though he tried to beat it down, the seed had been planted. He needed answers, and Josie was the only person who had them.
He dialed her number, his teeth grinding together when the call went to voice mail. A dozen reasons why she wasn’t answering flitted through his mind, each scenario worse than the last. He imagined her with Levi. Touching. Kissing. The moment the image entered his mind, all reason left. He was in a black cloud of rage, despair, jealousy, and regret.
Throwing his phone into the passenger seat, he didn’t give a second thought as to the repercussions as he took off in the direction of Josie’s house. The pictures of Levi and Josie played like a slide show, each pass becoming more distorted, intimate, painful. By the time he pulled onto her street, anxiety and aggression locked his frame. The emotions intensified when he realized the house was dark and her car was missing.
His eyes drifted to the clock, and he cursed when he noticed it was already after midnight. Snatching his phone off the seat, he dialed her number again. His heart sped when it didn’t go to voice mail. It rang three times before an unfamiliar voice floated across the line.
“Josie’s phone,” a soft feminine voice sang.
“Who the fuck is this?” Anders spat.
“Excuse me?”
“I need to talk to Josie. Now.”
“Josie’s busy, but I’d be delighted to take a message for you.” The saccharine sweet, albeit sarcastic edge to her tone told Anders that no message would be delivered.
“Just tell me where she is. It’s important.” He managed to soften his tone with a bit of effort, but the desperation in his voice took no effort at all.
“She’s at the studio. We’re having a night shoot, and there were some issues
―
”
Anders disconnected the call before she could finish. He got what he wanted. He knew where to find her.
Lori looked at Josie’s phone and scowled. She clicked on the screen to see the name that went along with the voice and couldn’t help but laugh when the name Asshole popped up. “Appropriate,” she mumbled, dropping Josie’s phone on the desk and grabbing the items she’d come after. Hesitating, she reached for a pen and scribbled on a Post-it before sticking it to Josie’s phone and leaving her cubicle.
While Anders drove to the studio and Lori took off in search of Madison, Josie added sugar to her second cup of coffee. She hadn’t planned on working so late, but last-minute changes and new interns left her with little choice. After chatting with a couple of people and grabbing a snack, she headed back to her department.
Falling into her chair, she let her head fall against the back. Her eyes drifted shut, and she knew if she didn’t keep busy, she’d be asleep in minutes. With a sigh she leaned forward, bracing her elbows on the edge of her desk. Her eyes landed on the bright sticky note stuck to her phone and it caused her breathing to falter.
“
Asshole” called.
―
Lori
As Josie tried to fight against the avalanche of emotions crashing over her, Anders made his way toward her department. He’d worked himself into a frenzy of suspicion and doubt. The lingering traces of adrenaline had burned away and dulled, causing the excessive amount of alcohol to hit him full force.
When the door came into sight, he struggled to control the same sense of recklessness that overcame him at the club. He pushed the door open and slammed it shut as soon as his eyes landed on Josie.
His heart clenched and his chest ached when he saw her. For a split second all he wanted to do was wrap her in his arms. He wanted to bury his face in her hair and press his lips against hers until her taste lingered and her scent clung to his body. But when she spoke, the sound of her voice broke the spell, and Anders remembered why he was there.
“Anders? What are you doing here?”
He raked his hand through his hair and let out a humorless chuckle. “What am I doing here?” he repeated, almost as if he was asking himself the same question.
Josie stared at him, her stance rigid, her brows pulled together in confusion. “Anders.”
His eyes snapped to hers, and his hand fell to his side. “How could you do it?” He sounded almost manic, like he was teetering on the edge of a cliff. Josie had no idea what it would take to tip him over the side, but the moment she processed his words, she didn’t care. The scene was too familiar, too recent, and the wounds too fresh.
“Don’t,” she threatened. “Don’t you dare come into my place of work and start your bullshit again. I have no idea what you’re accusing me of, but I’ll be damned if you’re going to attack me when I’ve done nothing wrong.” The thrill that shot through her when his jaw flexed and his eyes tightened around the corners made her wonder if she’d lost her mind.
“Haven’t you?” he taunted. “Was that not you I saw in half a dozen pictures with Levi?”
Josie gaped at him. She wasn’t sure what pictures he was talking about, but that wasn’t important. “Who I spend my time with is none of your concern. We’re not together anymore, remember?”
“Unbelievable.” He shook his head and scrubbed a hand over his face as he tried to withstand the ache that surged through him. Her words made him feel vulnerable, exposed. “Did you play me? Did you set me up from the start?”
A laugh bubbled up in Josie’s chest, erupting from her throat harsh and biting. “All those women you’ve fucked lately have turned your brain to shit. How could I play you, Anders?”
“Because you were with him!” he roared. “I saw the two of you at the movies and dinner. I saw his arms around you. How could you fucking do that to me?” His voice, which had started off so strong, so angry, ended in nothing more than a broken gasp.
“Everything’s not about you!”
“You’re not that fucking stupid, are you? This is absolutely about me. He doesn’t give a fuck about you, Ivy. Unless you’re in on it, he’s using you to get to me.”
“You’re never going to change. You’re never going to stop being a self-absorbed asshole.” Josie shook her head in disgust. “This is the second time you’ve accused me of doing something to hurt you. You’re just as wrong now as you were then. Do you realize if it wasn’t for Levi, I would have been hit by a car? He saved my life!”
“And he ruined mine!” Hearing Levi’s name fall from Josie’s lips caused Anders to break. “Did you know that? Do you have any idea what he did to me?”
“How would I? How would I know anything about your past when you never bothered to tell me?” That same hurt she felt when Levi had brought up his history with Anders resurfaced.
Her words stunned him into silence. In that moment his shoulders slumped. She was right. “So you’re telling me you have no idea who he is?”
“Oh, I do
now
. You know why? Because in the little time I’ve spent with Levi, he’s told me more than you did the entire time we were together. A perfect stranger thought he should be honest with me. Unlike you who pretended I meant something more when it was all a lie.” A tear rolled down the side of Josie’s face and she wiped it away in one swift motion, angry with herself for letting him see how much she still hurt.
Anders’ fists clenched at the accusation in her voice. “It wasn’t a lie. You did
―
you do
―
mean more.”
“Really? I mean more? Well, you sure have a fucked up way of showing it. I promise you, I’m not getting any pleasure out of all those women you’re sleeping with.”
“I haven’t fucked anyone. I haven’t laid a hand on another person since you. Everything I’ve done since I came back from Arizona has been for you.”
Josie scoffed. “How does being out with other women benefit me in any way?”
“Because to be with you would make it worse!” Anders’ voice shook and his hands trembled as he remembered the pictures of Josie being shoved around. “I saw those pictures of you being mobbed. I saw your face, your tears. If I’d done what I wanted, if I’d gone straight to you, it would have been ten times worse. The paps would have been relentless. So I did the only thing I could. I diverted the attention. Not that I expect you to believe me.”
“When have you given me a reason to?” she cried, her fingers twisting in her hair. “All I ever wanted was you to let me in, to show me you cared half as much for me as I did for you, but you couldn’t do that. You’re so fucked up. You think everyone is out to get you.”
“Don’t you understand? That’s exactly how I feel. Everyone I’ve let in has fucked me over. It’s not like you trust me either. You wouldn’t even entertain the idea that I didn’t fuck Aubrey. I don’t know why I thought this would be any different. Now on top of everything, Levi has fed you a bunch of lies.” Rage surged through him as he thought about Levi revealing that part of his life to Josie.
“Then tell me the truth! Tell me what happened. What made you so jaded that no matter what I did to prove you were all I wanted, it was never enough?” Her voice was pleading and broken.
Anders stood stoically as his heart pounded and his mind screamed to release the words trapped in his throat.
Josie let out a sharp exhale. “That’s what I thought.” Pinching her eyes shut, she steadied herself for a moment before meeting his gaze. “The truth is, I stopped Levi from telling me the whole story. I didn’t want to hear from him what you were never willing to. Other than his involvement landing him with a restraining order and restitution, I know nothing. Don’t worry, Anders. Your secret’s still safe from me.”
Anders’ face twisted with pain. “Ivy.”
The door behind him swung open and Madison stepped inside before slamming it. Her eyes darted between the two of them. “Are you okay?” she asked, stepping closer to Josie.
“Yeah. I’m fine.”
“No, you’re not.” Her eyes flicked to Anders. “Neither of you.” She ushered the two of them into Craig’s office and shut the door. “There are about six people lingering in the hall outside. Two people screaming at each other tends to draw attention.”
“Fuck,” Anders spat, lacing his fingers on top of his head.
“Here.” Madison opened her bag and tossed Anders a hat and blond wig.
“What am I supposed to do with this?”
“Put it on, dipshit. With the wig and hat you could be mistaken for a guy with long blond hair.” Madison didn’t need to spell it out. The idea of pretending to be Levi set Anders on fire.
“Stay away from him, Ivy.” His voice was low and rough as he stared at her. “If you’re telling the truth, you have no reason to see him again.”
“Are you insane? I don’t take orders from you. I’ll see whoever I want.” Even though Josie had no intention of hanging out with Levi again, she wouldn’t let Anders think he had that kind of control over her.
“That’s how it is?”
“It can’t be any other way. You made sure of that.”
“Ivy.”
“Just go. There’s nothing left to say.”
“But
―
”
“No,” she interrupted. “I can’t.” Lifting her eyes to his, she gave him a sad smile. “For your sake, I hope one day you’re able to let someone in, that you find someone you can trust, because your life is going to be sad and empty until you do.”