Holding On (20 page)

“Did I hear you say—”
Nora cut herself off as she spotted her youngest son. “You are here!” she said excitedly. She darted between Jake and Luke to give Luke a hug.

Luke laughed. “I mi
ght try staying away more often if this is the kind of greeting I get.”

“Absolutely not!”
his mother warned. “You better not wait until the next holiday to show your face around here.”

He gave her a sheepish look. “Can I help with something?”

“No,” Nora said. “I think I’ve got it all under control. Now we’re just waiting for people to start showing up.”

“Okay,” Luke said with a nod. He gave Quinn a little half-wave. “Well, I’ll see you all in a bit then. I’m going to go see what Dad’s up to. I saw him puttering in the garage but I don’t think he realized I walked by.”

“I’ll go with you,” Jake said. “I think he was just checking the grill over. He’s out back now.” The two left the kitchen and Quinn heard Jake’s voice, carrying down the hallway. “So, bro, what’ve you been up to?”

He was given the same ambiguous response that Quinn had received.

Nora noticed her slight frown.

“It will be okay
, Quinn,” she said quietly. “He’s coming around. He’s here so at least he’s trying.”

“It’s just that…” Quinn said and then stopped. She was trying to find the words for what she wanted to say. She shrugged. “I just don’t get it. I mean…it’s just
me
. Why do
I
have two guys barely speaking to each other over…
me
?”

Nora
laughed. “That’s exactly why Quinn! Because it is you! They’ve both known you forever. They both
know
you. That’s why you have the two of them, head over heels for you.”

She wrinkled her nose.
“That makes me sound like I’m begging for compliments or something, doesn’t it?”

“Not at all,”
Nora assured her.

“It’s just that I know Luke has never had trouble attracting girls.” She knew this better than she would like. All of those years she’d wanted to be with him…and he’d almost always been with someone else. “I just thought that by now he’
d have found someone. I mean, it’s been a few months since the wedding. It’s been almost two years that Jake and I have been together. I just can’t believe…” She faded off, unable to say it.

“That he’s still hung up on you?”
Nora said for her. She leaned across the counter and plucked one of Quinn’s cookies out of the bag.

“Well, yeah,” Quinn admitted.

“Oh, sweetie,” Nora gently began. “Did it ever occur to you that Luke was
always
trying to get over you? I think that’s why he always had a steady string of girlfriends. It never helped. In fact, I think it just made it worse. I think he always realized that they would never compare to you. And now…well, after the big explosion with Tabby, I think he’s afraid to get into a relationship. He’s just not free to do that yet. I think he’s afraid he would just end up hurting someone the way he ended up hurting her.”

All because of me
? Quinn thought. It just didn’t seem right.

“You need to put me to work,” Quinn decided. “I need something to do.”

Nora thought about arguing for just a moment. But realized Quinn really meant it. She did need something to do. She needed something to take her mind off of things.

“Alright,” she agreed as she moved toward the fridge. “The only thing I have left to do is the fruit. Do you feel like cutting up
fruit?”

“I would love to cut up the fruit,” she decided.

*~*~*

“Ouch,” Quinn said with a grimace. Both Jake and Luke had slammed to the ground. There was another friendly, or maybe not so friendly, game of football under way. Fewer players than the game on the Fourth of July, but still enough to allow for a rowdy game. The brothers seemed to be taking out their aggression on each other. They seemed to be enjoying it so she decided not to worry.

The weather had dropped several degrees and the wind had picked up just a bit. The scent of rain was in the air but it hadn’t started yet. Quinn wasn’t sure whether she wanted it to come or not. Rain would be one way to end the game. Or possibly not…men were stubborn.

The boys’ cousin, Jill, laughed. “I’ve never seen those two go at it quite like that before. The way they keep going after each other, you would think they’re the only two playing. What is
up
with them?”

“Oh, you know,”
Nora said with a smile. “Just a friendly case of sibling rivalry.”

“What is it you always used to say to us when we were kids?” Jill asked. “It’s all fun and games until someone breaks a bone?”

Nora laughed. “Something like that.”

“If they’re not careful, someone is
going
to break a bone,” Jill decided. She let out a nervous little laugh because she’d only been half-teasing.

Quinn didn’
t comment on her remark. They were sitting outside at one of the picnic tables even though the party was more or less over. She stuffed another piece of watermelon in her mouth so she would have an excuse not to talk. Most of the guests had already left. A group of guys had remained. They were all engaged in the game.

To Quinn’s surprise, Jesse hadn’t shown. She wondered if he was trying to avoid a confrontation between Betsy and Carly. Or possibly he and Betsy simply had other plans. Either way, she was glad that Betsy hadn’t shown up. She was already stressed about Luke being there. He’d been trying to be friendly but it felt so awkward and stilted she had been on edge the entire afternoon. With the mood she was in, she was afraid she’d be in danger of causing a scene had Betsy even thought of starting anything.

She felt a wave of relief when she saw Luke climb to his feet and then grin down at his brother. He offered him a hand up and Jake took it. From where Quinn was sitting, she was pretty sure she saw blood. Nothing too substantial; just bloody, scraped up legs and elbows. But if that’s what it took for them to work off their aggression. Well, she wasn’t going to be the one to interfere.

“So Quinn,” Jill began as she pulled her eyes from the game. “How’s married life? Is my cousin treating you well?”

Quinn smiled at her. “It’s great. He’s great.”

“Life is great?” Jill threw at her, teasing.

Quinn laughed this time. “Yeah, it really is. No complaints here.”

They chatted for a while
but when the first few sprinkles of rain began to fall, Jill announced that she should be heading home as well. She was one of the last guests to go. She’d only stayed so long because Jake and Luke had confiscated her husband to be part of the game.

After she was gone
Nora got to her feet. “Even if those crazy guys don’t care about getting wet, I do. I suppose I should think about cleaning up. I’ve avoided it long enough.”

They’d been sitting at a picnic table with an umbrella but once the rain hit, it would only help so much.

Quinn hopped to her feet, too. “I’ll help.”

She cast one last glance out to the huge backyard. Despite the clouds rolling in, the remaining men hadn’t abandoned their game yet.

The two set to work in the kitchen. There wasn’t a lot of clean-up to do. Some dishes needed washing so Nora set about that while Quinn dried.

“I think today went well,”
Nora told Quinn.

Quinn knew, without having to be told, that
Nora was referring to Jake and Luke. “It’s a start,” Quinn agreed.

Several loud claps of thunder shook the house.
They stopped talking when they heard the back door open. Apparently, finally the men decided they’d had enough.

Jake appeared as Quinn put a glass bowl back in the cupboard.

“Ah, Quinn?” he began hesitantly as he slid his arm around her waist. “I was wondering, would it be okay if I went fishing with Luke next weekend?”

“Yeah!” Quinn answered immediately. “That would be great
.” It was the first time since…Well, it had been so long she honestly couldn’t remember when. It had been a very long time since Luke and Jake actually willingly did something together.

Other than attending the wedding. And really, that certainly did not count.

He paused, clearly distraught. He looked somewhat disappointed by her answer. “But it would be for the whole weekend. We were thinking of going up to the cabin. Staying until Sunday.” Just the drive alone would take them several hours.

Quinn was already nodding. “Yes, Jake. Go!”

“But—”

“No. No buts,” Quinn said with a laugh. “You two need this. Hell,
I
need this for you both.” And she did. She needed to know that they were finally taking steps to repair their tattered relationship. If Jake didn’t take this opportunity, it would be hard to say whether Luke would ask again.

“It just…it means you’d be alone all weekend,” Jake said, pointing out the obvious.

“Ah hell,” Luke said. He had entered the kitchen just in time to hear Jake’s remark. “I’m sorry. I can’t believe I didn’t think of that. Sorry, Quinn. We don’t have to go. It’s not a big deal.”

“Oh my gosh, you two!” Quinn said with a roll of her yes. “I’m pregnant.
I’m not an invalid. I can handle being home alone for a weekend.”

“We’re only a phone call away if something happens,”
Nora pointed out. She knew, too, how important this weekend could be for her sons.

Jake’s eyes widened at that. “Why? What could happen?”

Nora laughed. “Nothing is going to happen. I was just saying, if anything comes up, we’re right here.”

“Go!” Quinn ordered.

“Maybe we could just leave early Saturday morning, go up for the day?” Luke suggested.

Quinn stubbornly shook her head. “No. Go for the weekend.”

“If you’re sure…?” Jake hesitantly agreed.

“I am
completely
sure. I want you two to go. I’ll call Lily and Jemma. We’ll have a girls’ night. It’ll be fun for all of us. I promise.” She gave them both a firm, no nonsense look.

“Okay,” Jake said as he turned to Luke. “I guess the fishing weekend is a go.”

“Great,” Luke said as he turned to the cupboard. He reached in for a glass to get some water.

Out of habit, Jake leaned in to kiss Quinn just as Luke was turning back around. She couldn’t help but note the expression on his face. The way he looked away almost immediately even as his posture became rigid. She ducked out of Jake’s grip but it was too late. Luke had seen and even though he had his back to them now, it was too late.

She couldn’t help but wonder how she had never noticed it before. It was so clear, now that she knew how much it bothered him. Now she noticed it all the time. She silently vowed that she would be more careful in front of him.

15

“What if I pass out?” Jake wondered.

“
Oh my gosh, Jake,” Quinn moaned. “You won’t pass out,” she assured him.

“But if I do?”

“Jake, come on! You’ll be fine.”

He didn’t look convinced. They’d just finished up their last childbirth class.
The instructor had shown a movie. The movie had left Jake feeling lightheaded and queasy. His heart had started racing and he’d nearly panicked. He had barely been able to watch it…And now he was going to have to actually
attend
a real birth? And he was going to have to be helpful. And
with
it. And
not
queasy and lightheaded. And he just wasn’t sure he was going to be able to pull it off. The movie had been
awful
on the verge of
terrifying
, really.

Just thinking about Quinn in that much pain
, about those things happening to her body, was setting his mind into a tailspin. Not to mention
everything
else he’d seen. He wasn’t sure that he could handle it. In fact, he was pretty sure he couldn’t. He couldn’t even handle thinking about it.

“I really don’t want to do this,” he finally said as he opened the door and let her into the house first.