Holding On (57 page)

“I
really
didn’t,
man.”
He
paused
for
a
second
before
he
whispered,
“I’m glad you’re
okay.”

“Me too. Who else is going to make sure you take care of her? If
I didn’t threaten to kick your ass every now and then, I would feel like
I was failing as her best
friend.”

I knew his words were coming from his heart, but he was trying
to play
it
off
in
a
joking
manner.
He
was
trying
to
make
sure
that
Ethan knew where he stood. He was also trying to make sure that I knew
we
were going to be
okay.
He must have felt the ground crumbling as
well.

“Well,
bestie, you need to get the heck out of here before I have
to go back home.
We
leave on
Sunday.”

“That shouldn’t be a problem. This morning the doctor said that
I would
probably
be
able
to
go
home
on
orders
of
strict
bed
rest
tomorrow afternoon.” He paused for a minute, and I didn’t think he was going
to continue at first. The look in his eyes told me that he had more to
say.
“After
you
left
last
night,
a
detective
came
in
and
asked
me
about
the accident. When I told him what I remembered, he said that my
parents could
fill
me
in
on
the
rest
of
the
story.
They
won’t
tell
me
anything
yet.
Will
you?”

I
didn’t
want
to
be
the
one
to
tell
him.
I
squeezed
Ethan’s
hand,
and he
knew
what
I
needed.
As
he
got
up
from
his
chair,
he
pulled
our
hands to his lips and kissed my knuckles once. He quietly left the room,
and once the door shut, I hopped off the
bed.

I
couldn’t
turn
to
look
at
Brad.
I
knew
most
of
the
story,
but
not all
of
it.
I
would
tell
him
what
I
knew,
and
maybe
that
would
jog
his memory
a
little.
With
my
back
still
to
him,
I
started
telling
him
about his
accident.

“You
were leaving the post office. Apparently, you got off
the phone with me and went inside to mail me something. I remember
you saying
something
about
it
on
the
phone,
but
it
didn’t
really
register
with
me until after the accident. When you came back out and put your
car in
reverse,
they
think
you
dropped
your
phone.
You
went
to
reach
for something
as
you
pulled
out
of
the
parking
lot
and
must
have
hit
the gas
instead
of
the
brake
when
you
reached
for
it.
You
got
hit
on
the passenger
side.”

I
had
to
pause
because
I
could
feel
the
tears
streaming
down
my face. My breathing was
shallow,
and I knew that if I didn’t sit down
I would
pass
out.
I
slid
on
the
bed
next
to
Brad
and
cuddled
up
against
his chest. He stroked my back while I
continued.

“You
were hit by a semi-truck that was going probably fifty
miles an
hour.
Your
car was completely smashed in, and they had to use
the Jaws of Life to get you out.”
Okay,
here
comes the
hard
part. I can
do this.
“When they finally got you out, they lost
you.”

I
could
hear
his
breath
catch
in
his
throat.
His
hand
stopped
moving along my back, and his other went to his chest. I knew he had to
have marks
from
where
they
shocked
him.
He
was
gone
for
almost
two minutes before they got him back according to the
paramedics.

“They
got
you
back
just
as
the
ambulance
was
pulling
up
to
the hospital. They rushed you in for scans but found no internal
bleeding. By
the
time
I
got
here,
you
were
in
here,
hooked
up
to
all
kinds
of machine
that
were
monitoring
your
body,
keeping
you
alive
at
that point, according to the doctors. They put a tube in your throat to
make sure you could
breathe.” His hand moved from his chest to grasp his
throat. “They put you in a medically induced coma to make sure that
your body
had
time
to
heal
before
you
woke
up.
Once
they
were
sure
they hadn’t
missed
anything,
they
took
the
tube
out
of
your
throat.
You
woke up two days
later.”

I
was
sobbing
by
the
time
I
finished
telling
him
what
had
happened. I
could
feel
his
chest
rising
and
falling,
and
his
heartbeat
was
erratic. I didn’t know what he was thinking right
now,
but I knew that he
was
trying
to
figure
it
all
out.
I
felt
his
tears
on
my
forehead
and
pulled
back to look at him. His eyes were bloodshot, like he had been crying for
a while.
The
look
on
his
face
told
me
that
he
remembered
everything,
and that pained me in a way that I’d never be able to
describe.

“I was reaching for my phone and felt my foot slip,” Brad said,
his voice shaking as he spoke. He was about to confirm my worst fears.
He lived through it, but now that he remembered it, he would have to
live through it again and again for the rest of his life. “I wanted to call
you back. I could tell something was wrong and wanted to talk to
you.”

Oh my god. It was my fault!
I tried to pull away from him, but
he wouldn’t
let
me.
He
was
even
stronger
today
than
he
had
been
yesterday. I should have expected his body to heal this fast. He always was
trying to prove everyone else wrong, trying to defy the
odds.

“It’s
not your fault, Becca. I didn’t tell you that to hurt you. I
told you
that
because
I
wanted
you
to
know
that
the
last
thoughts
I
had
before I was hit were of you. I was
happy.”

“That
does
not
make
me
feel
better,”
I
said
firmly.
I
gave
him
a stern look, and when he grabbed my hand, I knew what he was going
for.
I was twirling my ring, and he reached over to stop
me.

“I was hoping you would still wear
it.”

“Of course. My best friend in the entire world gave it to me. I
will
always wear it.” I would, and I meant it. Ethan understood why I
wore it,
and
that
was
all
that
mattered.
I
would
never
take
that
ring
off
for
the rest of my life. The one time I did, something bad happened. I was
not about to tell him that,
though.

“Well,
I’m glad to hear
that.”

It suddenly felt like the room was getting smaller and the uncomfortable silence that fell between us was deafening.

“I am getting a little tired. Mind if I take a nap for a while?”
Brad asked.

“Sure.”
I
hopped
off
the
bed
and
gave
him
a
quick
kiss
on
the
cheek. “I’ll be back later this afternoon—with
food.” That earned me a smile. I was sure hospital food was
nasty.

“I wouldn’t complain if you happen to bring me a burger and
fries, but you may not want to share your plan with the
nurses.”