Hitchhiker (12 page)

I jerked back like he’d slapped me. It stung like he had. “Ouch.” Tears sprung to my eyes. “Why are you being like this?”

He shrugged indifferently. “Just being honest.”

“What in the hell happened to you to make you so goddamn mean? I have feelings, you know. I’m not saying we were together, but you don’t get to stand there and act like none of what happened didn’t matter.”

“I’m not saying it didn’t matter. I’m saying that who I sleep with is none of your business.”

I honestly thought I was going to throw up. The anxiety that was rushing through my veins was making my body shake. Every single word that was spewing from his mouth was like a vile of poison poured down my throat. He was purposefully lashing out at me, and I didn’t understand why.

“All right. Well, sorry for coming at you like I did.” I felt like he’d backed me into a corner. An apology was all I had to offer at this point, just to end the argument. I was desperate to make this feeling end.

“Don’t do it again,” he threatened.

“Okay.”

“I mean it.”

“I fucking said okay.” I was completely exasperated.

He regarded me as though he was waiting for me to continue to berate him for his actions. But I was done. I’d never fought with him like that before, and I didn’t care to do it again. How he controlled my emotions and the words that I spoke was insane. I’d never felt so powerless against another person before, and I felt weak. How on Earth did he gain authority over me like that? I’d not given him permission to do so. Except the longer I stood there under his gaze, I realized that I actually had. My backing down so quickly let him know he had the upper hand. It taught him that he was the authoritative one between the two of us. I’d never once given someone that much power over me. Who in the hell was this man, and what had he done to me?

“Are you hungry?”

My own fury was lying low, but I could feel it sitting there. It took the last of my energy to keep myself from coming out of my skin and hitting him like I so desperately wanted to.

“Sure,” I answered, even though food was the last thing on my mind. I just wanted to move on.

“Let’s go grab some sushi. I’m starving.” He picked up his phone to read something on the screen. That occupied more of his attention than whatever response I was giving him. If he really was talking to another girl, I wasn’t sure I could handle it. He might be single, but I wasn’t used to sharing. And the kind of intimacy that I’d been giving him was something I only gave to someone who only had an interest in me.

I left the room to get my purse. As I stood at the back door, putting on my coat and boots, I rested my forehead against the wall.
Get it together, Chandler. You’re not weak. Don’t let him do this to you.
The sad thing was that I was feeling something for Dawson that I’d never felt before. He might have been making me absolutely crazy, but I knew that my attachment to him was so strong; that inexplicable draw he held was enough to make me bend to his will and stay no matter what he put me through. This was what I asked for, right? Emotion. I was feeling emotion. Who knew it would be so draining?

“Ready,” I yelled. And I went out to the car to wait for him.

Several days later, things between us had gone back to normal. I’d let him come into my room during the night, and we’d cuddle and kiss. I did my very best to move past the fight we’d had, and how he’d made me feel. It was a challenge, though. One of the biggest questions I had rolling around in my head was how could he go have sex with someone but had yet to take that step with me. It was wearing me down. However, on this particular day, I didn’t have a care in the world and fresh snow was on the ground. I was feeling playful and needed a breather from being stuck in the house all day. I suited up and went outside to do something I hadn’t done since I was a kid. I was going to build a snowman. I was halfway through making the most colossal ball of snow to be the bottom of my snowman when Dawson came home from work. He was looking as delicious as ever when he paused on the side of the house to watch me. I was busy shoving the mammoth ball that was half my size, and I heard him laugh.

“What’s so funny?”

Both of his brows lifted in amusement. “Oh, nothing. Just wondering what you’re doing.”

“I’m building a snowman. What’s it look like?” I replied sarcastically.

“Hmmm, I can see that. How do you plan on getting the next ball up on top of that one?”

I looked down at what I’d already managed to smash together. Shit, he was right. “Uh, lift it?” I said with zero confidence.

He gave me one of his genuine smiles that he rarely shared with anyone else. “Would you like some help?”

I scratched my head and peered back down at the mess in front of me. “No, no, I think I got it.”

“Well, by all means, princess . . .” He swept his hand out in front of him. “Continue.”

I started on the midsection of my snowman while Dawson leaned against the house and watched. When I’d packed enough of the frozen ice together and deemed it the perfect size, I pushed it over to the bottom half and stood back. Well . . . shit! There was no way I was going to be able to lift that heavy ass ball up on top of the first one without some assistance. Seriously, Chandler. Were you trying to go for a world record here with snowman making? Dawson’s eyes on me made me leery. Refusing to ask for help, I bent at the knees and heaved as hard as I could. The damn thing didn’t budge. I grunted and panted, attempting it again and again.

“I think it may have moved an inch that time,” Dawson teased.

I looked over my shoulder. “Oh, shut up. I’ve got this.”

I didn’t know how many more times I pushed and lifted, but it was evident that I wasn’t going to be able to move this thing unless I shaved it down, or he came over to help me. Only one of those options sounded appealing. Walking toward him, I went into the garage and grabbed a small shovel, passing back by like a girl on a mission.

“What are you planning on doing with that?”

“What did I say? Hush!” I grumbled.

I went to my incomplete snowman and started whacking at it. Chunks of ice were flying, and I was taking off larger pieces than I wanted, so I’d have to move around it to make it even. A hand came into view and took ahold of my wrist.

Dawson was laughing. “Stop, I think you’ve killed it.”

“I’m just trying to make it moveable.”

“You’re stubborn.”

“Hello pot, meet kettle,” I mumbled under my breath.

“What was that?” he asked as he tossed the shovel to the side.

“I said, no, I’m not.”

“Mmmhmm, I bet that’s what you said. Now move so I can lift this thing up.”

I tried to step in front of it and block him from doing anything. “No.”

Too late. He’d bent down and effortlessly lifted it in the air and set it on top of the larger mass of snow.

“You were saying?” he said egotistically. His chest puffed out like some big shot.

My mouth was hanging open. “That’s only ‘cause I took like half the snow off. I lightened it for you.”

His grin was huge. “Is that what that was? Oh, okay.”

Looking down, I saw one of the chunks I’d take off with the shovel. I knew what I was about to do was risky, but I was still feeling playful, even though he showed me up with his big muscles and his ‘oh look at me, I can lift five hundred pounds with my pinky’ attitude. With glove-covered hands, I reached down, grabbed the compact snow, and hurled it at him. It hit him directly in the side of his cheek. On impact, it exploded in the air and flakes of white clung to his beard. Ever so slowly, he twisted his head till he was facing me.

He spoke each word deliberately. “You’re going to regret that.”

My inner voice shouted at me, RUN! I took off in the opposite direction, racing to the front of the house. I knew when he caught up to me that it was going to be bad. Just then, a snowball went whizzing past my left arm.

“Ha! You missed,” I taunted.

Oh, shit! I thought I was well ahead of him, but after looking behind me, I saw that he was only a few feet behind me. Strong arms came around my midsection and lifted me in the air. Dawson stopped completely in his tracks and lightly tossed me on the ground. He came down on top of me, both of us laughing.

“You’re a pain in my ass,” he said.

“Not any more than you are to me,” I retorted.

He leaned down and kissed me. This one wasn’t like the kisses he’d give me every night in my room. This one was different. A ferocity exploded behind this one that screamed need and desire.

“God, the sexual tension between us is crazy.”

I knew exactly what he was talking about. I could feel it like it was a living thing. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that what I’d been craving from him for weeks now was about to happen. Every single one of my nerve endings was alight and I couldn’t have been more nervous and ready for something than right in this moment.

He was finally going to give me himself.

HIS HANDS WERE EVERYWHERE
. Like actually everywhere. One second they were behind my back, and the next, they were moving down my thighs. I pressed so tightly against him; there was no empty space to be found. We’d managed to make it to my room and stumbled onto the bed. His lips were on my throat, kissing a path down to my collarbone while I had my fingers in his hair. Every inch of me tingled with anticipation.

I moaned when his hand cupped me. Nothing about the way he was touching me was gentle. It was domineering and forceful. But not in a way that frightened me. In fact, I would have done absolutely anything he wanted me to. Rubbing me vigorously, my hips moved in sync with the motion. I wanted more. I needed him to take away the things between us. Too much clothing. Grasping his shirt, I pulled it above his head. The heat of his skin warmed me through my own shirt. I loved that about him. He kissed me some more and tugged at my lower lip with his teeth. I was so worked up at this point, I could feel the wetness of my underwear and the hardness of my nipples. I was aching everywhere.

“Please,” I begged.

“Please what?” His voice was deep and heady.

He rolled me over on top of him, and I went to kiss him again. He grabbed my face and refused to let me go any further.

“No.”

“Please, I need you.” I pushed my sex against the bulge in his pants. It caused a deeper ache.

He was forcing me to look at him. “Tell me what you want.”

“Touch me, Dawson. God, touch me.”

I’d never seen so much lust in a man’s eyes before. “Where?”

I shook my head, my hair falling forward. “Don’t make me say the words. I can’t.”

I tried again to lean down and kiss him, and he refused to give me any leeway. “I want to hear it, Chandler.”

Time for a new tactic. Reaching down between us, I let my fingers slide between his skin and underwear. I touched the tip of his cock, and a small drip of wetness coated it. At that moment, I wished I could have been brazen enough to put my own finger in my mouth and suck it off. I wanted to taste him. Instead, for the third time, I looked down at him and went in for a kiss. This time he let me. I kind of liked that he had a moment of weakness and gave in. His tongue pushed into my mouth and my hips ground down trying to find some sort of relief. His hips came up to meet mine. He might be trying to maintain control, but I knew he was struggling.

Lifting my shirt over my head, I sat up briefly and reveled in the view below me. How in the hell did I end up with a man like this? From his tattoos to the dark lashes that lined eyes that I’d fallen in love with, plush lips, and a body that couldn’t have been more perfect if he had been plucked from my imagination. All of him was perfection.

Doing my best to unbutton his jeans with one hand, I managed it with semi-shaky fingers. I broke off our kiss momentarily so I could push them down. He lifted his hips slightly to help me get them off. I smiled inwardly. He was wearing blue underwear, and the waistband was sitting low. The head of his penis was poking out, and I briefly caught a glimpse.

Perfection.

Kissing his neck, I made my way down his chest and slightly nipped at his nipple, kissing a trail to his stomach. He laid back with his eyes closed and raised his arms above his head. He was giving me free rein. Okay, if I wasn’t nervous before, I certainly was nervous now. Going down on a guy wasn’t something I had much experience with. Not that I didn’t know how, it just wasn’t something that I did often, if at all, when Seth and I were together. I never had a desire to do it. However, with Dawson, the opportunity was presenting itself, and I was ready to devour him. Scraping my teeth along the edges of his V, I felt him take a breath. I hoped that meant he liked what I was doing. My fingers were inching their way up his thigh and under his underwear.