HisMarriageBargain (33 page)

They hadn’t had a chance to live yet, and that fault was
squarely on his shoulders.

He hadn’t fought to live.

He hadn’t fought his mother for her.

He hadn’t even told her he loved her.

Sammi paced through the den, heading toward the garage, but
stopped in the kitchen.

What right did he have to ask her to stay?

His fist curled, crumpling and ripping the paper.

The front door banged open, startling him. Feet pounded the
hardwood and a moment later Autumn skidded into the kitchen, her eyes wide.

“Don’t read that.” She dove toward him, snatching the bits
of paper and ripping them. “Please don’t read it. Please. Please. Please.”

Fat tears rolled down her cheeks, and all he could do was
stare at her.

Autumn had come home.

He uncurled his hand and she grabbed the paper, backing up
against the island until she hit it and slid to the ground, clutching the
declaration to divorce to her chest.

“You read it, didn’t you?” Her voice was small and tinged
with fear.

“Yeah.” His tongue wouldn’t move. He’d had a whole speech, a
plea for forgiveness prepared, but the words escaped him.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. I’m impulsive and I didn’t
think it through.” She buried her face in her hands. “Please, I’m sorry.”

Sammi snatched a paper towel off the roll and knelt next to
her. He peeled her hands back and wiped her face, but the tears kept coming.

“Hey, stop that. I can’t think when you cry. Please don’t
cry?” He swiped the tears away, but they kept coming.

“Don’t leave me.”

Her eyes shone with such love, vulnerability and hurt that
it rocked him to his to his soul.

Sammi didn’t deserve this. Or her.

“How can I live without the sun?” He mopped up a fresh wave
of tears and mustered a weak smile. “Come on, stop crying.”

Autumn bit her lip, her brow creased and her eyes so large
behind the chunky frames.

Sammi smoothed her hair back and cupped her face. He was
losing the battle with her tears, so it was time to change tactics.

“I had this whole speech prepared last night. I was going to
come home, tell you how sorry I was for failing you, for giving up when I
should have been fighting and promise to be a better man and husband—”

“You don’t have to apologize—”

“Yes, I do.” He grabbed the letter and crumpled it up again.
“This right here proves that I failed you. I made you think there wasn’t a
future.” The blood rushed past his ears so loud he couldn’t hear anything.
Autumn stared at him, looking lost and hopeful and beautiful. “And the truth
is, somewhere along the way, I fell into love with you without even realizing
it.”

Autumn’s smile blossomed so bright it dazzled him into
silence. She covered her mouth and yet more tears ran down her cheeks.

“Oh come on, stop with the tears.” He pushed her hands aside
and rubbed the soaking-wet towel over her cheeks.

She laughed and he chuckled.

“Come here.” He gave up on the tears and hugged her to his
chest. She clung to him, and for several moments neither spoke or moved.

This was right. Autumn in his arms, in his heart, part of
his life. This was what life was supposed to be like.

Autumn held on to Sammi for dear life. He couldn’t possibly
be saying what she thought he was saying. Could he?

Tremors shook her body and she buried her face in Sammi’s
chest, inhaling his scent. His strength was back and she craved the way he held
her tight, with no possibility of escape.

Had he said it?

Could she have dreamed the whole thing?

She fisted his t-shirt in one hand and peeked up at him,
only to catch him staring down at her. The warmth and yes, love, she saw there
stopped everything. The world around them ceased to move, her lungs stopped
breathing and her heart paused its pumping. For this one moment words weren’t
necessary because love was a language all its own.

Autumn felt fresh tears on her cheeks as her chest ached,
too small to hold all of the love inside her.

“Is this normal?” Sammi muttered, cupping her face with one hand.

“What?”

“I want…” His brow creased and his lips moved without sound.
“I want to squeeze you so tight we become one person and you can never run away
again. I want to be attached to you at the hip so I never have to be without
you. I want…I want to do whatever it takes to make you stop fucking crying.”

Autumn laughed and swiped at her cheeks, dashing the tears
away. “I can’t help it.”

Sammi’s mouth set into a hard line. He pushed back, grabbing
her hands and hauling them both to their feet. In one motion, he grabbed her
around the waist and threw her over his shoulder.

Autumn squawked and giggled. Her purse flew over her
shoulder and hit the floor, but Sammi never stopped. He carried her into their
bedroom and flipped her onto the bed. She bounced and rolled to her back,
watching Sammi kick off his shoes and grab a box of tissues.

He seemed so determined, focused on her face, pulling out
several tissues and removing her glasses. She giggled because she couldn’t help
it any longer. There was just too much emotion inside her. He gently wiped her
tears away. Again.

At some point the tissue disappeared, probably dropped on
the mattress, and Sammi traced her lips with his fingers, her cheekbones and brow
line, mapping all of her features with touch. The silence stretched tight,
humming with anticipation, but of what she didn’t know.

Did he really love her?

Had she heard that wrong?

“What’s going on in there?” He smoothed over her forehead,
pushing tendrils of hair away from her face.

“Did you mean it?” She bit her lip, fearful of his answer.

“What?”

“The part where you said you fell in love with me. There’s a
difference between being in love, loving and falling in love.” She was
babbling, but he wasn’t speaking.

It was Sammi’s turn to furrow his brow. “Women complicate
things.”

“Yes, we do.”

He grinned and flattened his palm against her cheek, their
bodies stretched out next to each other. She could see it again in his gaze but
she needed the words.

“I love you. I’ve been in love with you and was too stupid
and wrapped up in myself to realize it. I’ve fallen madly in love with you, to
the point of blowing off a really important meeting so I could stare out of a
hotel window and think about you last night.” He slowly rubbed his hand up and
down against her cheek.

Autumn’s grin nearly split her face. Her cheeks hurt so
hard, but the warmth, the love was ready to burst through her.

“Really?”

He chuckled and leaned in until their noses touched.
“Really. I really do love you.”

She sighed and allowed herself to jump into the giddy pool
of happiness. Life wasn’t perfect, but they had each other. They had love.

Sammi’s eyes closed slowly and he slanted his head just
enough. She wrapped her arm around his neck and fisted his shirt with the
other. The kiss started sweet, a meeting of lips, a sigh of breath and a
deepening connection.

Autumn hooked her leg over his and he rolled over on top of
her. Laughter bubbled up as their lips separated slightly. He made her so
happy.

“Sammi?”

“Hm?” He smoothed her hair away from her face, maybe for the
hundredth time, but the small gesture still melted her heart. He noticed the
small things others missed.

“I want you inside of me.”

The dreamy, content smile sharpened instantly, his gaze
growing focused. He scooted down and pushed her shirt up. He kissed her
stomach, dropping kisses at random over her fluttering muscles.

Autumn sat up and pulled her shirt and bra off, wiggling the
garments up over her head. If she had to wait on Sammi, he’d take an hour to
get that far into things and she didn’t want to wait that long.

“You’re never going to slow down, are you?” He grinned and
laughed as he pulled off his shirt.

“Nope. I’m impulsive, reckless and impatient. Deal with it.”
She grasped his belt and unfastened it.

“I’m going to make it my mission to change your mind.” And
yet he sat there and let her tab his jeans open and unzip the fly.

“Do that later,” she whined, trying and failing to work his
jeans off his hips because he wouldn’t move. She tipped her chin up and stuck
out her bottom lip.

He snorted and tapped her nose. “You’re lucky I love you.”

“You do.” She grinned and a new wave of warmth and desire
washed through her.

Sammi rose up on his knees and she shoved his jeans and
underwear down his thighs. He pushed her back and didn’t even bother with
unfastening her shorts, just pulled the denim and panties off with her shoes and
tossed them onto the floor. His jeans and shoes followed with a kick or two of
his feet, and then he was on top of her. His weight pressing her into the
mattress. His hands grasping hers.

Autumn completely understood the urge to squeeze him so
tight they became one person, one heart, one mind, one soul and twice the love.
Staring into his gaze, it was as if she’d found a part of herself she didn’t
know was missing. He was her anchor. Her ground.

He let go of one of her hands and teased her clit, flicking
the ring piercing her flesh back and forth. It never got old, and when Sammi
did it, something about his touch made it more intense. He didn’t mash the
bundle of nerves, just used the barest touch. She arched her back and gripped
his shoulder with her free hand.

He sucked her breast.

Sammi thrust into her, hard and deep. She saw stars as every
delicious inch sank into her pussy.

This was what she wanted.

Sammi in her heart, in her body, with her always.

He hiked her thigh higher over his waist, planted one hand
on the bed next to her shoulder and levered up. The angle of penetration was
interesting. Not bad, just—different. She rolled her hips and squeezed his
length with her inner muscles.

“Look at me,” he growled.

She peeked up through her lashes at him. His features were
tight and the fierce love she saw staring down at her stole her breath.

He fucked her hard and fast until lights exploded behind her
eyelids and she screamed her release.

Sammi eased down next to her and clutched her to his chest,
stroking her hair. For several moments they lay in boneless, sated bliss, his
hands lazily stroking her hair and back.

“Don’t leave me, okay?” Sammi said.

Autumn propped her chin on his chest and studied him. “Don’t
let me.”

“Deal.”

“Should I sign another contract?”

He snorted and kissed her forehead. “If that’s what it
takes, yes.”

Autumn nestled her head on his shoulder and pinched herself
just to make sure she wasn’t dreaming. She smiled at the sharp pain. This was
her life. He was her love. And this was worth living.

Six Months Later…

Sammi shifted from foot to foot as the music swelled and
changed. The cool fall breeze rustled the trees bordering the backyard. The
music playing over the loudspeakers changed and the collection of friends and
family held their breath as the curtain over the patio door was whisked aside.

His world narrowed to the two women standing at the other
end of the flower-strewn aisle.

Autumn stood there in a tea-length cream dress with a
rainbow of frills sticking out from the bottom, multicolored fishnets and
bright-red heels. A tiny veil with a peacock feather arching over her head hid
her eyes, but her smile beamed at him. Next to her, Cathy clung to her arm,
nervously smiling around at the assembled guests.

Sammi blew out a breath and wiped his face. It was just sweat,
or so he told himself. It didn’t matter that six months ago they’d had the
first, very Jewish ceremony. They’d become different people, and now he loved
her even more, and actually realized the prize he’d lucked into.

“Breathe,” Isaac whispered at his side.

Sammi sucked in a breath, unsure when he’d stopped
breathing, but Autumn had that effect on him. She stole his breath, his heart
and at times, his sanity, but she always gave it back.

The duo of mother and daughter reached the last row of
chairs. Cathy practically dove for the empty seat reserved for her, sinking
down and folding her hands in her lap so fast it left everyone blinking.
Autumn’s mouth quirked and her gaze locked on his. Sammi had to tightly
compress his lips to keep from laughing. Cathy’s quirks were something he was
growing used to, but most importantly, she was there today. For Autumn.

His gaze flicked to the notably empty chair reserved for his
mother.

Before the ceremony could pause, Sammi stepped toward his
bride and took her hand. A track of moisture stood out on her cheeks.

“I thought you promised no more tears?” he whispered.

“I can’t help it,” she replied.

Carly, the maid of honor, handed Autumn a tissue. Behind
Carly, Kellie, Pandora, Mary and Ester all had tissues. These people had stood
beside them through things no person should ever have to live through, and he
appreciated each and every one of them for standing up for Autumn and him. But
right now, the only person in his world who mattered was his beautiful bride.

“Ladies and gentlemen, we are gathered here today so that
these two may renew their commitment to each other in the sight of their
friends and family…” The officiator continued to speak but her words faded into
the background as Sammi gazed into Autumn’s eyes. She was his future, his hope
and his love. It had taken him longer to come to that realization than her, but
she’d forgiven him.

He’d committed himself once to her, but this time was for
life, and he hoped it would be a long one.

“Pst, this is the part where you talk,” Autumn whispered.

“Oh.” Sammi glanced at the officiator, who had her lower lip
between her teeth, cheeks rosy and eyes dancing with laughter. “Uh, vows?”

“That would be this part, yes,” she whispered.

“Right.” He dug a sticky note out of his pocket and blew out
yet another breath. He flashed a grin at Autumn, as nervous as if this was
their first time tying the knot. “Autumn, you are my sunshine and my alarm
clock. Marrying you once wasn’t enough, and I am eternally grateful that you
agreed to marry me a second time. I commit to movie marathons, keeping a roof
over our heads and loving you until the day I die and beyond. I love you, Sunshine.
Be mine?”

Autumn danced in place and sniffed loudly. She nodded, her
smile a twist of emotion and love. And more damn tears.

“Yes, I will be yours,” she got out before another sniffle.

Sammi slid her wedding set back on her finger and breathed a
sigh of relief. He hadn’t liked taking it back, even for the ceremony. Seeing the
rings back where they belonged settled him.

“I love you,” she whispered.

“I love you too.”

“Okay, my turn.” Autumn grinned and swiped at her cheeks
with the tissue. “Sammi, you are the reason I get up in the morning, even when
you drive me to eat nothing but cupcakes. You’ve showed me the world, and then
you gave me your heart. Thank you for letting me grow into the woman to love
you. I promise to only run as far as the next room when I’m upset. I promise to
keep food on our table. And I promise that I will love you, forever and always.
Be mine?”

Autumn pulled Sammi’s ring from her pocket and slid it on
his finger. He flexed his hand, breathing easier with all the pieces in place. “I’m
always yours, Sunshine,” Sammi replied.

The officiator continued the ceremony. They’d chosen to keep
it short for a number of reasons, but it felt even shorter compared to the
rehearsal the night before. Before he knew it, the officiator told him to kiss
his bride.

As if he wanted to do anything else.

Sammi swooped down, gathering Autumn into his arms and tipping
her backward. Laughing, she wrapped her arms around his neck and planted a kiss
on his mouth.

It was the beginning to a perfect future.

* * * * *

Autumn squeezed Sammi’s hand. His face was screwed up into a
grimace, and she couldn’t imagine her face looked any better. People watched or
milled around, eating, dancing or socializing. The ceremony had moved naturally
into what they’d wanted, one big party.

“Just a few more moments,” Pandora muttered, twisting
Autumn’s finger around.

“Shit. You just tattooed there,” Autumn got out between
clenched teeth.

“You’re being such a baby.” Kellie dipped her tattoo machine
in the ink and bent over Sammi again.

“You’re supposed to be nice to me on my wedding day,” Autumn
retorted.

The pain was minimal, feeling more like a severe sunburn
than anything else, but there were so many nerves in the hand and almost no
fat.

“And I’m done,” Pandora said. She set the machine down and
wiped off Autumn’s hand.

Autumn lifted her hand, holding it out to the side so both she
and Sammi could admire it.

A Star of David sat on her knuckle, and a stylized
S
and
A
were intertwined around her finger, with curling swirls completing
the design. Autumn blew out a breath and grinned at Sammi.

She’d always said that wedding ring tattoos were a bad idea,
and here she was, getting her own. Sometimes life made a liar out of you. It
was a conscious decision. The tattoo represented not only their union as
husband and wife, but her promises to think things through and stop running.
Any time she wanted to throw in the towel, she’d look at her finger and see
that tattoo and remember the promises she’d made.

“And that’s a wrap.” Kellie placed her machine on the small
table Pandora and she had shared and cleaned up Sammi’s hand.

He placed his hand on her knee and she could have cried all
over again. They belonged to each other now, in ink, heart and spirit.

“Put your hand on his knee so I can take a picture.” The
photographer shooed Pandora and Kellie away and instructed them on just how to
sit and pose. It wasn’t as organic and fun as their beach photo shoots, but
this time it was the real deal.

“Okay, I seriously have to pee or I’m going to wet myself,”
Autumn said at last.

“Here, I’ll help you.” Pandora laughed and assisted Autumn
getting out of the folding chair with her puffy skirts and together they
slipped inside the near silent house.

Autumn leaned against the wall, feeling some of the stress
dropping from her shoulders.

“How are you doing?” Pandora peered at her in the dim light.

“Honestly? I’m so happy I can hardly stand it, but my
bladder is way too small.” Autumn quick stepped into the master bath, followed
closely by Pandora.

The skirt was so fluffy, it took Pandora and Autumn both to
get all the layers hoisted up enough so that she could use the restroom without
getting the dress wet.

“Oh sweet Jesus,” Autumn sighed as her bladder stopped
screaming.

“Better?”

“Much. I almost don’t want to get up.”

“And miss your own party?”

“I know, I know. Need to check on Mom too.” Autumn got to
her feet and with Pandora’s assistance all of her clothing returned to its
proper position.

“How’s Cathy doing?” Pandora asked as she smoothed the tulle
down.

“We’re handling every day as it comes. I think we’ve hit the
turning point. She realizes, finally, that she has a problem and now I think
things will get better.” It was no small miracle that Cathy had even been at
the wedding.

Pandora leaned up against the bathroom counter.

“What about your big plans?”

“If you’re about to ask if I feel like you’re trampling all
over my parade, you’re not, so don’t make me have that conversation with you
again. I think we’re ready to really start planning. Unlike you, we’re taking
our time.”

“I’m so happy for you guys. Come on, let’s go get you
something to eat.”

“You just want cake.”

Both girls tossed their heads back and laughed. They knew
each other too well.

Autumn stepped back out onto the patio. Lights were strung
up overhead to illuminate the entire backyard. She smiled and waved to guests,
but her gaze went straight to her husband.

Sammi stood with Isaac in the area where they’d had the
ceremony, his gaze on the chair that still had a corsage sitting unused. Sammi
hadn’t asked her for that detail, but she’d done it anyways once he chose to
still honor her with the reserved spot. Tamara might claim her son was dead,
but Sammi hadn’t given up hope his mother would recover from her mental
illness.

Autumn made her way toward the two men. Isaac saw her first
and backed away slowly.

Autumn slid her arms around Sammi’s waist and rested her
cheek on his shoulder. His hand rested over her wrist.

“How’s the tattoo feeling?” she asked.

He extended his left hand. “Stings a little.”

“It’ll heal fast. How are you?” She held her breath, knowing
the brooding moment had nothing to do with her. Since Sammi’s father had been
excavated and his death ruled a homicide, things with Tamara changed daily.
Autumn could barely keep up.

Sammi blew out a breath and turned, wrapping his arm around
her waist and kissing her cheek.

“What aren’t you telling me?” She leaned back, frowning at
her husband.

“There’s just been a lot the last week.”

“A lot? You haven’t mentioned a word.”

“I know. You were so busy I didn’t want to stress you out.”

“Sammi, that’s not an acceptable answer.”

“Come here.” Sammi sank into the chair next to the place for
the mother of the groom and pulled her onto his lap. “I had sisters. They told
me this week that Mom and Dad had three little girls before me. All of the
babies died within a few months of being born.”

Autumn’s heart stopped. “You don’t think…?”

“Do I think she killed my sisters? Yes. Yes, I do. I’m not
going to give up hope that someday she will heal. But I need time. I need time
to focus on us and Cathy.”

Autumn wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him
tight. She knew what it was like to struggle with a parent who was dealing with
something that couldn’t be fixed with a Band-Aid. It was an everyday struggle
with Cathy, as it would be with Tamara.

“We’ll get through this,” she whispered.

“Of course we will. I’ve got you, Sunshine, and that’s all I
need.”